Dating Over 40...Just BE YOU!

 When you meet someone for the first time, JUST BE YOU! Dating in today's day and age is not at all what it used to be and quite frankly, it scares me! The 40s and 50s crowd, our generation, is a tough one to figure out. There may be times when you are tempted to be someone you're not, such as "putting on your best face"...but don't.  No, there's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression, who wouldn't? However,....my advice (not as a professional but just me) is don't risk it. You do realize that by doing so it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men?I don't know about you but if it were a good man that I liked, I would not want to risk it. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy or being excessively flirtatious. If you do not respect your body, you will only attract men who have a similar lack of respect for you and your body, and a good man will find it more difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you for who you are and what you desire.

 Release the nerves and get comfy around him! Relax ladies, they want to see our true side not something phony that we some put on to make a grand entrance. This is life, every day with this special man is going to be a grand entrance so make it a show stopper! Men love women with a sense of humor, a great smile and a personality. Gone are the days where they say men look at the size of the breasts and asses...anyone can have those...however, character is something that you cannot buy, you either have it or you don't!

Most guys hate it when girls are possessive, bitchy, clingy, controlling, etc. Learn to relax, and have fun. We all have too much going on in our lives; don't be the high maintenance "drama queen" otherwise his feel will hit the floor and he'll be running like it were a race. Having a woman around who makes life more difficult than enjoyable will make a man lose interest.

Let's face it, with dating in our 40s and 50s we aren't as young as we used to be and we just want to find someone that knocks our socks off. Yes, that can be difficult to find, but get optimistic! he or she is out there waiting for you...so step up your game plan. If you do things like show genuine concern when the man has had a rough day, it will earn his respect and go toward winning him over and a good man will reciprocate. Remember that most men, especially the really good ones, are looking for someone with whom they can be comfortable, compassionate and loving...and not someone who is always intense, the drama mama and down right ruthless.

 Drop the games! Nobody likes a partner who plays "head games". You aren't in your 20s and this is reality. Being shallow and so immature is very recognizable, and it makes you look tacky, not to mention bad....so knock it off. Playing head games are deceptive, and will hurt anybody who trusts you. Be real, don't play! Good men will respect you and may even pursue you. Playing head games will only make good men run away. Remember the communication thing? That is especially true here. If you like a guy, don't push him away and act like you don't like him. Tell him. Yes, there are some men who do like the thrill of the chase, but all good men genuinely want to respect you and your wishes, and will leave you alone if you insist on it. Remember, men communicate directly, if you act like you don't want him, he'll think you don't want him. Oh...and for goodness sakes, I just stated it in the last paragraph, but I'll repeat myself...don't be clingy! (This goes for both sexes, mon and women, no one wants a clinger!)  This means, don't show that you love this person by being near them all the time. We love being with you but we also like our own space as well. There is no need to follow them everywhere they go. Most of all, they need to know that you have your own life!

 Treat him with respect. This is the most important thing of all. Men hate being around a woman who emasculates them, and a good man won't take long to leave such a woman. Don't be afraid to help your man feel good about himself. A little known secret is that men are just as insecure as women. If he's with his friends or family be open to opportunities to let your man look like "the man". It will win his love and respect. 

Respect yourself...When it comes to being intimate, there are many definitions of this but they all come back around to earning the same degree of value.  If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn't stop, you leave. Don't ever be uncomfortable saying no. Don't go against your morals to try to keep a guy. If you feel this is necessary, then either he's not a good man, or he is a good one but simply isn't a good match for you specifically (e. g. he is currently "playing the field" and is up front and honest about it, but you're looking for an exclusive relationship). Don't be uncomfortable saying yes, either. If you feel the time is right, believe in your worth and don't worry that you're "giving yourself away." You respect yourself and you're confident that he'll come back for more! Sad as this is to say, but a man who doesn't respect you in the morning never properly respected you to begin with, and a man who doesn't respect your wishes to wait is too impatient to make a good partner. Either way, find someone else. he is bad news!

You deserve the best that life has to offer,  and a man who is willing to wait so leave no stone unturned while searching for your prince. Happiness...isn't that all the only thing that matters?

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Stylish Tips for Dating and Standing Out...

We all like a little attention every now and then from the guys. This article will inspire you with a few stylish tips on how to accentuate your appearance without going overboard, furthermore, it will tell you how to stand out in the crowd amongst men! Have you ever wondered what items of clothing that a woman can wear that will set us apart from so many others? What does the guy notice first, what sticks in his hear for the longest time and what will he take to bed with him tonight in his dreams? That vision of you that he see, the image (if you will) is what makes the memories of what he sees and how he sees you come alive when you are not with him, so ladies, do something that is going to make you stand out, but do it in a classy, simple 'girl next door' kinda way...

1. Try wearing something ordinary BUT in a very unexpected and ordinary way!
It doesn't have to be a huge statement like wearing your pants backwards, besides, he wouldn't see that as sexy, and if he did, girlfriend you have problems; but lets say that you decided to take a basic man's polo shirt (slightly over-sized), unbutton it, wrap it so that one side overlaps the other and tuck in, or hey, just let it hang leaving only a button or two buttoned and let me tell you...he'll remember it!


2. Try red lipstick. That's right; RED!
Pale lips may be trendy, but nothing does the job like red. I'm not saying to wear it all the time, but change is good so this summer season so do try branch out. Step out of your comfort zone. Use lip liner for a perfect appearance, choose a creamy matte in a red that best suits your skin tone. Use a light hand for the rest of the face because the lips should take center stage. There is nothing like lighting up the room with a hot set of lips and a pretty smile. Men love a woman's lips, so try kicking it up a notch girls..isn't it time for a change? Hey men are attracted to women with red lips more so than other shades.

4. No Bling!
Leave it at home where it belongs, buried in a jewelry box that is no longer in use. Black may be chic, but gold, silver, copper and pewter are especially luminous to many women...when you're going for the over-the-top look. No going all Mardi Gras! Might I please suggest looking for simple? Pass on thick chains, costume jewelry and makeup that make you look like a clown...instead wear something that will really let the dress shine along with your beauty.A simple charm bracelet or soft spoken necklace is the way to go as it accentuates your skin tone and your exquisite features!

5. Adopt  the soft tones;
The look is what makes the chase all the more alluring,...so you want to add tons of feminine charm.  Soft and chic are always intriguing. It is a fashion statement that says 'wow!' In my own personal opinion, I have found over the years that men truly love inner beauty as much as outer beauty, but when a woman wears a ton of make up he can't see the real woman. Less is more holds true in this statement as most men want to wake up next to a woman and be able to recognize her with very little or no make up verse a woman that takes 15 minutes to scrub her face off before she climbs into bed. Really gals listen to me here on this one..Guys don't like surprises so show them the true you! That's the real deal and the wonder of true beauty!

6. Protect the peeps.
That's right wear your shades! Perhaps the single sexiest item you can own are a great pair of sunglasses. They add tons of mystery, look cute even on top of your head and actually serve the practical purpose of protecting your eyes.I don't leave the house without, my Jimmy Choos, Diors or my Pradas. I love the boys and how they make my eyes feel. I wear mine often due to migraines. Hey you only have one set of peepers so take care of them! I rarely take mine shades off.

7. Find an unforgettable fabric! Make sure that it looks good on you and works with your skin. Forget everything you've ever heard about hardcore leathers or sparkly sequins, sister this is no longer the 1980s. Cashmere, silky satin, and buttery soft suede's are the real scene stealer's. Touchable fabrics not only invite an other's touch, they have the added bonus of feeling great against your skin so you feel pampered.Remember, it doesn't have to be expensive, it's not always about the dollar amount/ what it cost or who the designer is, it is how classy you can look in it that matters most!

8. Playing peekaboo...
That's right, it's OK to tease a little bit, just don't bare more than you should. It's classy to keep the girls covered and just expose them a little! No need to bare your breasts, even with lace. Nude linings, camisoles and slips all keep you covered while the lace itself stays really suggestive.
If somewhere during the evening you just happen to end up in bedroom, make sure that you play peekaboo with a cute babydoll or fantasy costume from Simply Delicious Lingerie!

9. Steal the show with a grand exit! 
Most women want to be the belle of the ball walking into a room where all eyes are on them, but turn it around sister,...wear something that looks simple from the front view a dress or outfit that will bring down the house when you exit.

10. BE YOURSELF! That's what he is going to be attracted to first and foremost. If you look flattering, sexy and simple he will notice and he will remember. In his eyes you'll be the belle of the ball. Before I step foot into any social situation, I create the ending in my mind. I plant that seed of intention, and then I allow all of the lovely pieces to come together to create my own experience.
Seeing the end is the first step to creating anything you want, getting what you want, and feeling like you are the most beautiful woman in the room.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Where do Men find Love?

So, you’re on the prowl for a nice, fun loving, cute woman to date? Are you ready for love and if so,...Where are you going to find her? Have you any clues where to look for a truly unique woman? My guess would be no. When it comes to finding women to date, you have to be a bit creative and look for opportunities wherever they might arise. Sometimes guys get lucky and are introduced to nice women that could be potentials indeed through friends or business associates.When this happens it has a better chance of working because someone actually knows this person that you are interested in and they can give you the 4-1-1. This is your chance to get the 'inside scoop' on what she's all about! 

Even though you might end up not liking the woman, people who know you have a pretty good idea of your personality and who might be a good fit, so if someone tries to play Cupid and fix you up with someone they know, at least give it a shot. The worst that could happen is that you won’t like each other and you'll want to kill your friend. I've done this before and been mad as heck at my friends. Hey. they are trying to play connect the dots for you, only my advice again, not professional is don't meddle in their business. Some say no harm done...I say 'then you try it and see how you like it?' I have had friends set me up with three blind dates in my life and by the end of the date, if that's what you wanted to call it I had fire coming out of my ears and was upset. I'll find love at my own pace thank you...when the right guy is supposed to enter into my life, he will, and only then it will be a great day for me!

 On the flip side, and the best cast scenario,...you could meet someone who you really do enjoy being around.

Don’t forget the opportunities that sound more like a sitcom side-story, like meeting a woman at the coffee house while waiting for your morning brew, or at the Laundromat, the grocery store, the gym or in line at the bank.The places to meet the right person are endless. I truly believe that our paths cross at the right times when we are to meet one another. It's pretty simple actually. 

If you see someone you think is attractive, just smile and say, “hi there!” Who cares if you’re dripping with sweat from your workout or wearing your best business suit? In sneakers or in stilettos. If a woman strikes up a conversation with you, don’t shy away – talk to her. It could turn into something, and if it doesn’t, you got yourself a little practice didn't you?

Depending on the type of work you do for a living, you may have many opportunities to meet women through your job. Some companies frown on dating among their employees, but some might tell you that there’s no harm in flirting a little, and if you’re not risking your job, you may find that there are plenty of single women at work. OK, time to slam on the brakes here for a second...I strongly disagree with that...don't cross that line! Once you do, they want more, and if things don't work out, as I said in an earlier blog, you are stuck day in and day out running into this person. Not fun at all, trust me!

What does a man really need to look for in a woman? A pretty smile and beautiful eyes are the two things that if men aren't looking at they sure should be! You can tell a lot about a woman from her eyes and her smile. My grandmother used to say that when there is romance in the air between two people that you can speak an entire conversation without ever having to open your mouth. Body language and the eyes give it away! That's one of the first things that I look for in a man, his eyes, then the smile...and his teeth. 1) he must still have most of them, and 2) they have to be pretty and white. I don't have a lot of issues but smile and eyes, good teeth are crucial here. Them comes the personality and sense of humor. Combined all of these will leave you wishing that you didn't have to leave her at the end of a date, BUT it will hopefully keep you enticed enough to come back for much more! When it is time for Mr Right to meet Ms Right, the sparks will fly!

www,simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Here's My 2 Cents on Fashion No-No's

I would definitely be the first person to openly and quite rudely admit that there is absolutely NO  exception to fashion rules.  I believe that creating a look that expresses your own awesome and most spectacular personal style would be OK, but even that can exceed it's limits, and you do NOT want to go down that road ladies. So lets talk turkey for a few moments shall we? Fashion no-no’s, with no questions asked, hands down fall into a league all their own. You just don't do it. No way, no how...get rid of the ugly clothes. Burn them please don't give them away, no one wants to drive down the street and see them on someone else!

 95% of the time universally speaking we find an outfit that is totally unflattering that we might not think is so bad after all. But guess what, it is! Do women not know this outfit would be burned by the fashion police? Do women just get dressed in the morning thinking that this is cool, or are they out in left field somewhere not able to relate to fashion at all? I, for one, know of no woman who wakes up each morning thinking, “Why don’t I put something on today that looks dreadfully shitty?” It just doesn't happen, but there is that other 5% that lives on another planet that thinks that what they've selected to wear today is quite hip and cool! The cold hard truth is that they couldn't be more wrong. Lookie here..., colors clash and so do various patterns, and no one want to go into work or  to meet a group of friends for lunch looking like Rainbow Brite...so leave the multi-colored outfits in the closet with the unicorn.

 Why are there so many fashion no-no’s floating around out there?  And, now really, think very carefully…have you experienced one yourself? I have, when I was younger for Halloween and that was even scary. People really do dress goofy in public.There are a ton of reasons why these no-no’s are so pervasive.  Let me briefly share a few.

Are You Trying to Hide Your Body? Women are given messages all the time about what the “perfect” body should look like, and when they don’t feel like the body measures up, they just try to hide as much of it as possible. Sad that this is the way things are, and even worse that women have to feel poorly about themselves because of a few people with bitchy attitudes that think they can set the standards. This has become so over-simplified, but body image issues are rampant in our society today and it's all about looks. What happened to personality, integrity, and character? Just ask any woman how she feels about her body and 9 times out of 10 you’ll hear a barrage of self-critical comments about parts of her body she’s unhappy with rather than loving, glowing comments that bring a smile to her face. 

Unconscious Decision Making with Wardrobe: For a dozen or so reasons, so many women have given up trying to create a wardrobe and personal style they love. My question is this; Who in the world taught some of these people how to dress in the first place? Often women will resort to what is comfortable and easy and "not horrible." I hear this one so often...  As a result, they have given up on their beauty (some have no idea they even have any natural beauty and oh if they really would only take a good hard look at themselves they would see that they have so much beauty and potential.) These women just want to blend in and cover their body so that they don't get taunted and teased by others.

Comfort is Cost Effective: I don't know about you but it seems that our lives tend to get crazy and if you add the fact that as we get older we tend to get less tolerant of clothing that doesn’t feel good personal style often goes out the window in lieu of endlessly cozy options. Cost effective has nothing to do with dressing horrible. Cozy is great and all but think before you walk out the door in something hideous. If you don't know what I am talking about come to Youngstown, Ohio and go with me to Walmart after 11pm. Where are the fashion police when you need them? Yes comfort is great, but think about style and flair and fashion when you are trying to put together an outfit for the day. I think the  problem here is that we become very narrow minded about what is comfortable (polar fleece and yoga clothes top the list next to Pajama bottoms and big baggy sweatshirts, seriously? Are you going to wear scrunchies in your hair too?) when, in fact, there are surprisingly fashionable comfortable clothes out there – but that’s for another article on another day!

So listen here's the 4-1-1.... Have you ever gone to a business dinner and wondered, “what was going through their head when they came up with that outfit?” It’s good to know some etiquette about expected attire, not because you need to be a stickler for rules, but more because you don’t want to offend everyone around you. No short short skirts and dresses. We don't want boobs hanging out so don't wear your daughters dress that came from the junior department, and for heaven sakes no hoo-hah hanging out of your dress either. Have some dignity and respect for yourself, please! Think before you dress. You don't need to spend a lot of cash on clothes, you can get great values and sales on really nice looking attire if you just take the time to look!Go back to the basics, get old fashion and dress in an appropriate manner.

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Dating After 40...Dress the Part, and Act Your Age!

Often we women wonder why men aren't attracted to us, or why they get so turned off after a first date, but  have you looked at everything leading up to this first date to see what it was that went so terribly wrong? Could you have fixed it? Planning and preparation for this date means details girls and you need to look great because we have a lot of competition out there that can sweep a man away if we are too busy with our head stuck in the sand. So where do you start once he asks you out? In all honesty dressing for a date says a lot about what you think about yourself and about your guy and the outfit that you wear out should be one that makes his eyes fall out with lust and admiration. It’s not that you have to be phony or dress differently, but you do have to dress appropriately for the plans he’s made for the date. My suggestions are quite simple actually, so please, pay attention to what he has in store for you, and if he doesn't tell you ask how to prepare/dress.

In my opinion, it would be a really smart idea to ask the guy what kind of evening he has planned? If he wants to keep it a surprise, then ask whether you need to dress as you would for the office, for a sports event or for an elegant party. That gives you a range in which to choose your outfit. So many women that I know at my age are in their later 40s and want to dress like someone half their age. Not only is this a bad idea but it make you look so tacky and cheap. You didn't get through your entire life riding on the tails of someone your daughters age or a woman in her 20's or early 30s so for God sakes, dress the part, it shows your maturity and it labels you as someone with class. 

How you dress says so much about who you are. This means get rid of the cheap crappy looking stuff in your closet and ask your friends for some help and reinforcement! If you have younger friends, don't bother asking, they're only going to give you suggestions of how they would dress and trust me, most if the time, you wouldn't want to be caught dead walking out the front door.  If you go out in a halter with cleavage barely contained and a mini-skirt that slightly larger than his handkerchief, then you’re sending a message that he reads as “YES” and other women quickly label “slut.” Oh you’ll get plenty of attention, but the wrong kind of attention! Is that what you want? Listen, there are store to go to for really nice apparel at reduced costs. so when you go to a store, DO NOT go straight to the 'juniors section!" You aren't a junior and you'll only make a complete fool out of yourself. Girlfriend you want to hold your head up and look good for this person. They deserve it and you need to represent not only who you are but you're representing all the other middle aged women out there.  Junior are meant for juniors, plain and simple...so stay out of that department all together! You may think you look good, but it's embarrassing to say the least. 

Dressing for a date when you aren’t sure about the plans is like going to a job interview. If you don't know what they interview is for and what position of the company, my suggestion is this; dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. There is a lot of competition so get it right. You only have this one chance, this one opportunity to show him that you are a woman with a good head on her shoulders. It's better to dress up than to look under dressed. That means take the extra step, make some effort, and dress up just a bit more. 

For a date, apply that advice. If you aren’t sure what to wear, go with business casual and sensible shoes. Less is more. This means you don't need to be all blingy and don't wear a ton of make up. Men love simple and natural. If you are wearing so much make up that it takes layers to remove it, stop right here! If you wear a sleeveless top, bring along a light sweater, or a shawl since you don’t know whether you’ll be inside a chilly movie theatre or sitting outside at a patio restaurant after the evening temperatures drop. 

If you’re getting back into the dating scene after a few years, take time to look over the current magazines for casual styles. Go simple with colors too. Red, Black and White are the most popular and eye catching colors. Then ask other women who have similar styles to yours what they would wear for a date. Ask for advice! People are more than willing to give it and you need it!

Basic rule of thumb: if you haven’t dated for five years or more, don’t wear what you use to wear on dates. Chances are with your dating scene absence with a wardrobe that needs to freshen up.So pull out that credit card or unfreeze your assets and splurge this one time! You don’t have to buy all new clothes - just edit your outfits and add a bold item that’s current.  Even if you’ve lost lots of weight and just got a face lift, don’t go shopping in the junior department after age 25! That is a serious NO NO and a huge turn off. Most men our age probably have daughters in their 20s and God only knows that he isn't taking his daughter out so don't embarrass yourself dressing like her! 

You’ll add to your age by trying to look too young, and you'll be the laughing stalk. Act your age and damn it be proud of it! If you want to keep it very simple, you can never go wrong with a little black dress. I have two from Michael Kors that are simple and stunning. They don't say 'look at me, look at me' ...they say sophistication at it's finest. about being comfortable and confident about who you are as a woman, yet realizing that a certain amount of effort is necessary to look tres jolie, very pretty. This look requires some basic classic pieces that never fade from fashion, creativity, and a sense of self-expression. This look is about communication. The eyes, the lips, the hair, are all ways in which a woman communicates. Fashion with style is not only about function and looking well, but is another way in which we communicate our inner self to the outer world.

Dressing  sleazy or provocative is out, unless you want to be labeled as trash. Trust me, simple is better and you can never lose in a LBD. Start the evening feeling good in an outfit that makes you feel special even before he walks through the door! Remember, you want to really stand out and if you have the right dress or outfit on, you will be a vision in his mind that stands out for a very long time. That memory of you will be embedded in his brain, so look good, smile and just be you...and you'll have him coming back for more.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Wine...A Glass a Day Keeps the Doctor Away!

 When it comes to experience, what drink is more culturally relevant than wine?  It is the drink of celebration and ceremony, often seen to promote gracious living. At first, as written in a recent article that I read, wine was considered a gift from the gods, however, wine has long been considered a drink of choice for the elite. Yet today (as throughout the ages) in impoverished countries where it is unsafe to drink the water, people can safely drink cheap wine. What's wrong with this picture? Absolutely nothing, in my opinion that is. Wine has also been used throughout history for its medical purposes.When it comes to drinking it and especially choosing it, make certain that you know your wines, otherwise, you won't know what to expect and this goes for the history or wines, knowing the differences between the reds and the whites, the sweet wines and the dry wines, the latest and the most vintage, how to drink it properly and get the real sultry savored blend, and most of all the price.

Believe me when I say this....with wines, there is a difference. How do I know? I grew up on Boone's Farm (please do not judge me...eighty eight cents a bottle- back in the day, and I won't say when back in the day.., but by the price per bottle, you do the math)  and now I fancy Frog's Leap from Napa Valley. My favorite? I have many, but a favorite might just be a bottle of 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon  ($74 a bottle) when indulging in a wonderful pasta dinner, nonetheless, I love wineries and tasting new wines to broaden my span of selections. Wine doesn't have to be expensive to like it. You drink it to enjoy it. Always drink in moderation. Some wines give me a headache the size of Texas, so for me I have to really be careful what I consume.

Here are some tips to help you grow with the wine you are drinking;

All wine should be poured into a clear glass and held in front of a white back ground, so that you can examine the color. The color of wines varies greatly, even with the same type of wine. White wines vary from light green to brownish in color, where a browner tinge usually indicates age and more flavor. Red wines on the other had tend to become lighter in color as they age. While red wine improves with age, aging tends to ruin many whites.

Before you take a drink of wine, swish your glass around to release the different flavors in it, and take a smell of it. Research has shown that taste relies on smell about 70-75%; which is why you cannot taste much when you have a cold. When you take the time to sniff your wine, you are allowing your taste buds to better pick up subtle hints of flavor in the wine. You can smell wine two different ways. You can either take a quick sniff and then sit back to think about the first impression the wine gave you and then take a longer, deeper smell before allowing the smell to make an impression and taking a swig. Or you can just take the deep smell. Usually this depends on the persons preference, so you should try both to see which you prefer. However, you should never attempt to drink a wine before you have taken a long sniff and allowed your senses to take it in.

In moderation, wine offers a wide array of health benefits: antioxidants in red wine have been found to reduce blood clots; wine is good for the circulatory system and slows the aging process; and wine is also a mild tranquilizer that can lower tension and anxiety. Many human pathogens are inhibited or killed off by the acids and alcohol in wine. As part of a normal diet, wine provides the body with energy, substances that help digestion, and trace amounts of minerals and vitamins. Compounds in red grapes are also proven to boost the immune system and help to prevent cancer. They say that a glass or two of wine a day keeps the doctor away.

When you take a sip of wine, allow it to linger on your taste buds while swishing it around the entirety of your mouth, (that's right, no gulping or chugging this isn't college and we aren't in a race to see who finishes it first) allowing it to come in contact with all of your taste buds, including ones found on the underside of your tongue. Contrary to what some of us learned in school, all taste buds are capable of detecting all types of flavors, including sweet, sour, bitter and salty. Sipping your wine slowly this way will allow your taste buds, as well as your sense of smell to identify the finer points that are not as easily detected in fine wines.

Your first swig will be the initial sense you get from the wine, this will awaken your taste buds and get them going. Now is when you should swish the wine around your mouth, and try to draw in a little air. Try to notice the body of the wine, for example, is it smooth and rich, or light and smooth? Before you take another sip of wine, relax and see how the after taste is. How long did the flavor of the wine stay in your mouth, and was it a pleasant experience? Many wine connoisseurs take this art very seriously, and many guides and books can be purchased as you become more and more experienced in the fine art of wine tasting. The art of drinking wine is established with family and friends. We drink it in our homes and out on the town, in restaurants, at parties, so remember..when you are out and about drinking wine you want to look classy, not trashy.No one wants to drag a lush around that's had one too many and didn't know when to stop.

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Sunblock...Because we All Need a Little Protection

If you respect yourself, then for goodness sakes....PROTECT YOURSELF! Why wear sunblock? Gee, don't be an ass, think about this one? How much do you truly care about your body? I say it all the time, it's the only house you'll ever have so why not take care of it and protect it from everything harmful? We all read about it and know how the sun is quite dangerous as are regular visits to the tanning salons. When outdoors, sunblock should be used to protect your skin from the damaging effects of the sun. Ultraviolet (UV) rays provide humans some benefits including the induction of vitamin D production in the skin, but these rays can also be harmful. Too much exposure to UV rays can result in sunburn and even sun poisoning. Repeated excessive exposure can lead to skin cancer. Those who spend time in the sun are encouraged to use sunblock products in order to avoid skin damage. I love the sun and the beach, BUT after having had Melanoma 5 times out of the last 11 year, I've learned how to take better care of my skin. From your head down to your toes, and especially your lips, boobs and nose...be safe and protect your assets!

How can I avoid the harmful effects of the sun?

Staying out of the sun is the best way to avoid sun damage, but most of us go outdoors regularly. So when you go outside, take these precautions:

• Most importantly, always wear sunscreen. You should put it on every day. Make it a habit, such as brushing your teeth.
• Try to avoid sun in the middle of the day, from about 10 am to 3 pm. The ultraviolet rays, which cause sunburn, are strongest during this time.
• When you do go outdoors, especially for long periods in the middle of the day, wear protective clothing. Long sleeves and slacks, as well as a wide-brimmed hat, help protect your body against the sun's harmful effects.
• Wear sunglasses that filter UV light. 

Who should use sunscreens and what does it do?

Anyone who spends time outdoors should use a sunscreen. This includes:

• men, women, and children
• people who tan easily and those who don't
• fair-skinned and dark-skinned people; people who already have tans and
• sunbathers, gardeners, and skiers.
• If you don't listen to me, listen to Lady Gaga who said recently,  "Something that is good for my skin, and everyone's is sunblock and I  bring it everywhere: “I don’t tan my face because it’s bad for wrinkles,” she added. 
• Sunblock is a product specifically formulated to absorb or reflect ultraviolet rays. A sunblock (or sunscreen) is usually labeled with an SPF (sun protection factor) rating. In general, the higher the SPF the more protected you are from UV rays. For instance if a product has a rating of 15, you can stay in the sun 15 times longer than the normal amount of time you could spend without burning. If that time was one minute, you could stay out 15 minutes. Some sunblock products have an SPF rating of 50 or more.Wear sunscreen every day, even on rainy days or on days you stay indoors, because UV rays still penetrate through clouds and windows. People think that you only need to wear sunscreen when it's sunny, but UV rays are present regardless of whether you see the sun or not.

Ingredients

The ingredients used in a particular sunblock depend on who is manufacturing it. Basically, two types of ingredients are used, either chemical or physical agents. Chemical sunblocks absorb ultraviolet radiation while a physical sunblock reflects the UV rays away from your skin. Among the chemical agents used is avobenzone andoctyl salicylate. Common physical agents used are zinc oxide and titanium dioxide. Some products use both types of agents. When choosing a chemical agent sunblock, look for one that uses several chemical agents because a single agent protects against only a narrow segment of the ultraviolet spectrum.

Types

Sunscreen exists in many forms including creams, lotions, gels, oils and sprays. No one type is better than another, so users should find a form they like. Check the ingredients, both active and inactive, when choosing a sunblock. Test a small area of skin with a new product before applying it everywhere. Be aware that many sunblock products contain PABA, a chemical to which some people are allergic. Look for specially formulated sunscreens for your face and other sensitive areas. There are also some lip products and hair products that contain sunscreen.

Benefits

The main benefit of sunblock is, of course, preventing ultraviolet rays from penetrating the skin. This is important in preventing burns and blistering. In addition, sunblocks can help minimize the "aging" effect sun exposure has on the skin, which includes wrinkles and a "leathery" appearance. Many sunblock products provide a moisturizing effect on the skin. A good sunblock also allows people to spend more time out-of-doors than they could without the protection.

Warnings

It is quite possible to be allergic to certain chemicals in sunblock, so it is essential to find one that suits your particular skin. While sunblocks are effective in combating ultraviolet rays, many only protect against the burning UVB rays and do not stop UVA rays that affect the deep layers of the skin, causing aging and the possibility of developing melanoma, the most deadly form of skin cancer. Another warning that should be heeded is that for sunscreen to be effective it must be applied in liberal amounts and reapplied frequently! Protect the girls, cover up and reapply the sunscreen as directed. You owe it to your body and your beauty to protect what the man upstairs gave ya!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Double Standards in Dating...Stud or Slut?

What you really need to know about alcohol is this..it is lethal. It can wreak havoc and screw up your life if you are not careful, so please pay close attention to this article. I've been experiencing this with friends for most of my life and I have 'yet' to figure out why the tables turn on this subject time and time again? Both men and women have a tendency to use alcohol to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, including sex, however, there is the old-fashioned double standard where a guy is a stud for willingly having and enjoying sex while a woman is a slut for enjoying the same pleasures. This is at the root of the problem, and from there, it all becomes a blame game, full of slut-shaming and other name-calling.

Often guys ‘know what they’re doing’ when they’re drunk, but by legal standards, this wouldn’t necessarily matter if the roles were reversed. You see, there’s a double standard here, but it’s generally accepted.Many substances have been said to induce sexual desire and to enhance intercourse. The use of alcoholic beverages is one of the oldest libido stimulator's and it is still one of the most widely used aphrodisiacs worldwide.

  In a variety of ways, the drunken hookup double standard does work in a gal’s favor, but that doesn’t mean we should take advantage of the situation...(or should we?...just kidding) Some underlying issues don’t reflect too kindly on gals who take advantage of guys when they’re drunk,...and while gals might not have to worry about the legal system like guys do, the labeling system reserved for women won’t let anything slip by. I found after reading a number of books and articles that there are 4 things that you really need to know about sex and drinking;

Sex drive

First of all, a moderate quantity of alcohol will reduce anxiety and let people release their inhibitions. Therefore, having a drink or two during social events will help men get over their shyness and facilitate approaching women. This is especially true with strongly inhibited men who are scared of rejection or for those who experience performance anxiety. While you don't advocate using alcohol as a crutch to get through social situations, you certainly don't see the problem with using a little bit of the stuff to loosen up.

Shyness in bed

A light change in mood from the alcohol will also relieve nervousness and leave room for freedom of sexual expression. Whether you are in a relationship or at a club looking for a sleazy one-night stand, if you are looking to spice things up, try loosening up with a drink or two. Hey, trust me it works. It will simply bring down barriers that one would normally not cross, but my advice (and this is my personal advice not that of a professional) don't drop that wall barrier too much or you really may end up putting your foot in your mouth causing her to put hers up 'your ass!',...and not in a good way! See, a responsible amount of alcohol makes drinking and sex a lot of fun, there are big limitations though, so be responsible and "think before you drink!" This then leads me to the next topic...

Limit your drinking

However, watch out how much alcohol is consumed. In general, half a gram of pure alcohol per 2.2 pounds of body weight is the maximum recommended dose because everything above that could reduce one's amorous capabilities. For example, someone weighing 165 pounds could drink half a bottle of wine before a sexual encounter without being at risk of delivering a poor performance. The amount of alcohol affecting some one's sex drive is specific to each individual. Therefore, it is important to know your limits and if you don't find your limits. 

Don't abuse alcohol intake

Consuming too much alcohol can lead to serious consequences and health risks. Aside from impotence and poor performance, alcohol can lead many guys to be overly aggressive toward members of the opposite sex and force them into unfavorable situations. The focus of this article isn't about these extreme situations, but we have to mention that by abusing alcohol, some men can be overly aggressive and things might get out of hand. One too many drinks and one crazy wild moment of passion can lead to more and there are time when both parties really don't agree on this, so be very careful, for if you cross that line and she doesn't want to, or she didn't feel the same way and you weren't seeing that because of your misjudgement of alcohol intake or truthfully acknowledging its because you've had one too many, it can cause you your life, and no want wants to call home the slammer! No means NO! When someone says it, listen! Read this book! It's a book that every woman show read and list everything you need to know!

 

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Relationships and Red Flags!

One day you're on cloud nine, and the next day the bottom drops out...know the feeling? All relationships go through that wonderful honeymoon phase, but what happens after good graces have all faded? For the most part, many relationships continue down that path of happiness and enduring the emotional extravaganza however, some couples’ bliss turns really sour as they get to know each other on a more intimate level. Is this normal? You bet it is! My grandmother always used to say, "Michele, any couple can have sex...sex is the easy part, but building a solid foundation is the hard part!" So what are the warning signs? Below are some relationship red flags to be wary of which will help you determine if it is time to end your relationship and move on with your life. Please don't feel offended boys because I am writing about you...give me a few more articles and I'll share the flaws and red flags to look for in us gals too!

Downfall of a Mama’s Boy...Sound familiar? The topic that is...? So you may have been attracted to the fact that he totally prides himself on being a family man, and why wouldn’t you? However, when he is at his mom’s every weekend (or he may even still live there), then you may find that three’s a real crowd. No one likes being the third wheel, although, in the past 13 years, I am always a third, fifth or seventh wheel with my friends, however being the odd wheel with friends is much different than being the third wheel in a relationship when it's the couple and he is too dependent on the mama. We all love our parents, sure we do, but there comes a time and a place where we need to learn how to separate ourselves from them.

Hey, many men struggle to move on from the nest, because they prefer not having the hassle of laundry, cooking and cleaning. If your man happens to be the youngest in his family, chances are his mama has no desire to let go of him. After all, why should he leave home until he is in a serious relationship? Unfortunately, it can be difficult to be the woman attempting to woo him away.

 Dangerous Warning Signs of Relationship Issues- Must read these!
 
A hot tempered man can be admirable when he is defending your honor, but a relationship with a man who has a short fuse can be dangerous. Abusive relationships are never worth staying in, however, unfortunately many women do not recognize – or ignore – the early warning signs in a relationship.Trust me, no one needs this type of abuse.

If your guy wants to know of your whereabouts at all times, his jealousy might be something in danger of spiraling out of control. You should be very afraid. This is no joking matter and he has no reason to treat you in such a manner. Sure, it’s sweet when your boyfriend is thinking about and wanting to be with you, however, it is unacceptable for him to expect you to punch a time clock with him.

 Another hot topic for flag waving...withdrawal and avoidance from activities you once enjoyed can be a first red flag. If your partner is simply unwilling to spend time with you like he once did, then you may begin to suspect he has either moved on or is seeing someone else. This can be a hurtful assumption, so be sure to have a basis for your accusation before making it, but know avoidance can definitely be the beginning of the end. 

 Many men do not want to spend a lot of time talking about their emotions, that just wouldn't be cool...and when a relationship is turning sour, you will find they are making such a minimal effort it is as if they have already left. They may put off conversations or do their best to prevent them because in their minds they may already be planning a breakup.

If your partner is putting you down, and saying things are are not flattering in any way, this can be another sign of a bad relationship. Responding negatively toward you is a hurtful tactic sometimes used to push a significant other away when they are no longer wanted. It may, in your guy’s mind, be easier for him to hold you at a distance through causing the blame to fall on his shoulders than it is for him to outright say what he is feeling. Here's a suggestion...."spit it out!" That's right be honest and tell it like it is. Honesty will get you everywhere!

 I have shared this book with others on my blog page and if you have not read it, do so now. It's a great book and covers a large variety of red flags. My theory is that if I can avoid a disaster I will! I certainly don't want or need the drama, who does? Prepare yourself to not end up like so many other...wish that you had seen the warning signs.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Life, Love and Longevity...

I preach to the choir day in and day out about life, love, and longevity. Life is simple, you get out of it what you put into it. Love is meeting that one person that turns your heart inside out and upside down, that one person that you've waited for knowing that when they walked into your life, full view, their smile, twinkle in their eye or laughter was all you would ever need and then what I consider to be most important...Longevity. This is crucial for me because I don't want to just meet a man who wants to date casually, at this stage of my life it would be my request to meet someone who is looking long term, someone to share a future with. With these three there is one more ingredient that needs to be added to this casserole of life and that is compatibility. I think that this is a bigger issue than the chemistry.

Yes my friends, compatibility is the foundation of a good relationship. If you don’t have things in common and if your ideas about what the future  don’t really seem to match, you’re going to have problems keeping a relationship going and long term is about to fizzle fast. I find that it is so important to date someone that you’re compatible with. No, they  don’t have to love everything that you love or vice versa, but the two of you do need to have common interests and goals. Is this what I really think? You bet your britches it is. At my age, pushing my later 40s I want the whole enchalada!

Remember, You have to know yourself before you can embark on any serious dating, so please, think long and hard before jumping into something quickly! Think about what’s important to you first and foremost. There isn't just one set of feelings at risk here, there are two.

 Do those things have to be important to her/him? Which ones? Think about what you want for your future. Kids? A farm in the country? A busy social life that includes parties every weekend?A beach house? Mountain climbing, parachuting, marathons? Do you want someone who’s a neat freak or a relaxed housekeeper (so that they won’t gripe at you about the socks you left on the bedroom floor or the milk carton that you left with only drops in it in the fridge)? Are you a coach potato? A thrill-seeker? What if your job requires you to travel a lot – you need someone who will be okay with that, right?Or someone who loves to travel just as much as you do!

All of these questions and others that are similar are important when you’re looking for a man/woman. No you don't need to find your clone, but it’s best if you agree on the fundamentals, and you definitely have to agree on the deal-breakers. Here's a hot subject; Thinking that he or she will change their mind after you’re together for awhile is a really big bad risk, so if she/he isn’t on the same wavelength as you when it comes to the things you consider to be high on your list of life’s priorities, you need to think really LONG and HARD...and I mean really ponder this one!

For example; If a woman is smart (and you’re dating nice, smart women) she'll also have her own priorities in order and will be upfront with you when the time comes. If you fall in love with someone who doesn’t share your wants and must-haves, ask yourself if there will be a way to compromise so that you’re both happy? My guess is probably not. Sooo, if not, you’re better off just letting the relationship go and finding someone who’s a much better fit. We raise our children not to settle, and this is your life – so why should you settle?

With the thousands of available partners/mates that live within your geographical area, and millions outside of it, you’re sure to find several who want the same things in life that you want - whether it’s kids, a horse farm, or to sail around the world, live on a boat or just grow old with holding hands on the beach and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches together, enjoy that as you have a precious gift called love, and respect. As you date and get to know your mate, you’ll find out more about them and your potential for long-term compatibility. Now is not the time to be vulnerable. Stand firm and search for that one man/woman that sets your heart on fire. That one person that makes you feel like you were 16 again and that one person that will become your friend, lover and life time partner for many years to come....when you find that, your happiness (this person)will then be your true destiny.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Good Deeds...Just Do It!

Kindness and good deeds promote emotional, mental and even physical well being. There is not a day that goes by that we don't have an opportunity to do a "good deed" for someone. So why then do so many people struggle with doing good deeds for others if they are fully capable to do so? Lazy, selfish or just plain flat out ignorant? My guess would be all of the above. Perhaps they are, or perhaps they weren't raised by parents and grandparents like I was that taught me to be good to others, to show respect and that even something as simple as making a complete stranger smile was a good deed!

Doesn't it make sense that the more goodwill you spread the more positive the energy will be that surrounds you? I don't know about you, but I am a happy woman. Some might not know that nor do they know the emotional, physical and mental crap I've been through in the past 13 years but guess what? I don't go around talking about the bad times looking for sympathy. I look for good things to do that will impact others lives around me so that they too will feel the sense of happiness that I do on a daily basis. Life is too short to be unhappy. Life is too short to not give a damn, but so many people don't.

All of us are guilty of rushing through our day so quickly that we forget about the clerk at the store, the gas station attendant, the bank teller, the dry cleaner, the hostess/host, or the server at the restaurant,..so STOP and say "thank you"..You know, they are people just like anyone else and they too deserve to be treated well. So pay them all a little respect how 'bout it? They are living their lives and have their own hopes, dreams and sorrows. The next time your in the checkout lane stop counting your money...look  cashier in the eyes and genuinely ask: "How are you today?" or say "You look very nice today!" A kind word to a stranger will make both of you feel good!What you say to that one person could make all the difference in the world to them, and it takes such little effort on your behalf.

 I always like the "pay it forward" idea. I practice it daily and I still wish there were more people that lived with that intention. Unfortunately we live in a very greedy, self-oriented society where people only give when they feel they can get something back. Shame on you! The concept of doing something good for another person and never personally getting anything back from it is alien to many, and downright offensive to some. However, the few people that give without the desire to receive seem to live happy lives full of good things.

 This may make some of you angry, but so be it; Listen, if you think that you are too good for this, that you're role doesn't consist of you attributing to kindness, or if your job title gives you the liberty to set yourself aside from us little people...your title doesn't mean shit if you can't show a little respect toward others, you should be ashamed of yourself!  Please come down off that pedestal you are sitting on and join the normal people for a while, you just might like it! I truly believe in good deeds and karma. 

Take today for example...here I was sitting and writing a blog about 'good deeds' when my mother came screaming in the house "OMG Shelly help me!" I dropped what I was doing and flew down the steps from my office only to find her (Maryanns) tush sticking out the the lower deck as she handed me a baby kitten. A mama cat went under the decks and had herself a litter. My mother felt it was her job to rescue them, feed them and give them better shelter. What can I say, everyone feels safe at my house. We are like the happiness hotel to all the stray animals in the neighborhood.

 Apparently mom heard screaming and whining so she crawled under the deck. (imagine that if you would)...By the time I got outside, there was one stuck in between the house and the beams of the foundation. Now, anyone who knows my dad (or as I like to call him BIG MIKE) would know that when he builds something, it isn't going anywhere EVER! We could not get the boards apart to free the kitten. Mom and I tried but we couldn't get the kitten out so we then called for backup! One of the neighbor guys came over, crawled under the decks and rescued the baby kitten. Jerry is our hero of the day! That was a good deed. I was so happy and  being the pet lover that I am was also so grateful to this kind man for saving the day! He didn't think anything of it, but we thought the world of him!

 In this day and age, we also find ourselves in a time where gratitude is not shown as it should be.If we all did good deeds and asked people to pay it forward, imagine the change it could make in the world. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to resurrect this idea and begin spreading it again. The positive impact might be greater than we could ever imagine, and life would be good.Hey, just do it! Remember, smile at someone today, do a good deed, for someday, when you least expect it, life will repay you!

Meet my two new little furry friends.... aren't they adorable?

4 Musts that a Man "MUST HAVE!"

Waylon Jennings sang once a long time ago..."Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places"... That song, and those words certainly spiked some pretty intense conversations and made me do some personal and serious thinking. Is finding the right partner a key ingredient in your recipe for a happy life? Good God, you bet it is, but you won't find him in a bar hovering over a jukebox machine playing some mush music about drunken nights and barmaids. You'll find him when and where you least expect it, and when you aren't looking for love. There are a lot of things that we look for in a man, BUT there are 4 must haves to make him the man for me, and probably for a lot of you...

 My grandmother who was also my best friend used to say to me; "Michele, find a good man and having a wonderful true relationship is like making the perfect casserole dish. You need all the right ingredients!" She was certainly a very smart woman indeed. No I am not comparing casseroles to relationships but in a sense, you do get what I am saying don't you? Building a solid relationship starts at the ground level, casseroles start at the bottom of the baking dish with all the finest ingredients and from there you build it...but if that isn't level, and you don't have a solid foundation, like a casserole, your relationship will crumble.

While the search can seem elusive, it gets much easier if you learn to focus on the qualities that are fundamental to forging healthy and positive relationships: character, background, personality, and chemistry. These are all things that are clearly important to me, and they should be important to you as well.

 

Character- this is a MUST HAVE or do not pass go and do not collect your $200! Your character defines WHO YOU ARE!

1. Assess their availability. For a loving relationship, both parties must be available for love. If one of you is already involved with another person, you're already off to a difficult start! Circumstances may change with time or you may need to look elsewhere.

2. Establish trust. Trust is basic to any stable relationship. You deserve a relationship that enhances your peace of mind, rather than creating new anxieties.

3. Look at how they manage conflicts. It's okay to disagree as long as you respect each other's positions. Arguments can even bring you closer together when you both aim for solutions that satisfy both parties rather than seeking victory.

Background- Pay close attention here folks, you can learn much about ones past by viewing them and how they act in the present with friends, family and coworkers. Watch out for the 'Slick Willies' that try to feed you a line of shit a mile long and then thing that you're buying it. Wake up boys, do we look like we were born yesterday? I want the whole scoop, not just the bits and pieces.

1. Resolve past issues. Regardless of what hardships a person has faced, focus on what they did to overcome adversity and challenges.

2. Discuss previous relationships. People have different comfort levels when it comes to talking about past lovers. Still, it's important to be aware of any patterns and know how to manage them.

3. Learn from each other's family history. Our family experiences often have a profound influence in shaping our lives and our reactions to new events. For example, knowing how your potential partner felt about their parent's divorce might help you understand them better.

4. Find common ground on money matters. Mingling finances is a big step. Get a sense of how compatible you are when it comes to making decisions about spending and saving.

• Many successful couples have different perspectives on economics, but they make it work by balancing each other's strengths and weaknesses. This is a wonderful key note to speak of. Meeting in the middle makes all the difference, so try it, why don't you. Stubborn? Come down off your high horse.

5. Know each other's expectations about parenting. Parenting is one issue where it's very difficult to make compromises. Before making a commitment, clarify whether you're on the same page with wanting a big family or a family of two.

Personality- If you don't have one there is nothing I can do for you. You've either got it or you don't,...and I do, so some man is going to be lucky as shit to end up with me!I hope to find a man who is loving and has the same traits that I do, including my superpower of sarcasm at times.

1. Communicate. Constructive communication is the lifeline for any alliance. Communication skills can be improved with practice, but it's helpful to know each other's habits.

2. Have fun together. After all, you're looking for someone whose company you'll enjoy. If your girlfriend makes you laugh even during tax season, this is a good sign that you may have a future together.

3. Share common interests. Liking the same things will also help you feel more connected. Whether you love film festivals or camping, you can create meaningful experiences and happy memories that you both will treasure.

Chemistry- This is a must for most people, but I say don't push it right away, sometimes things need to be nurtured a little bit, maybe he's shy and the sparks may come a bit later, don't fret if it isn't there right away. Sometimes we're so nervous that we really can't be our true self! Don't try too hard, just be you!Now then, once you do determine that there is some chemistry...sweetheart...don't sweat the small stuff. Give it a few dates to see...love doesn't strike us all dead at first glance. It evolves like a romance novel into something wonderful where new memories are formed. If you are reading this now and laughing wondering "what did she eat for breakfast because she is on crack!?" I'm perfectly fine, anyone can be taken far far away if they click their heels together 3 times!

1. Let the sparks fly. Physical attraction is one of the greatest joys in life. As long as all the other elements for a healthy relationship are in place, it's wonderful to find a mate who makes your heart race, flutter and skip a beat.

2. Stay healthy. If your partner leads a healthy lifestyle, you may be more likely to preserve that initial attraction. You might even be rewarded with having more years to spend together.

3. Take a balanced view of romance. It's great to keep romance alive so long as it's free from illusions. Passions will fluctuate over time, but your sense of commitment and affection can keep on growing through the years. It it changing. That is what so many couples don't  do and after a while they just become Mr and Mrs Boring.Keep it alive folks! Life is good!

A life partner is a precious gift. We all appreciate feeling validated and having someone to share our happiness. Knowing what to look for pays off when you're looking for love in all the right places, but do we know where those places are? It is still a mystery. Listen, I won't settle for just anyone. He is really going to have to knock my socks off! Does your fella do that for you?

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Independent Relationships...Do They Work?

Living in a close relationship with your special someone is invigorating, exciting and can be oh so fun! Maybe you've heard this described as when the Spice Girls sang "when two become one." OK, perhaps that was a tad bit cheesy...But this isn't the whole picture, so let's look at that now, shall we? In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability share their lives as well. I think that this is quite common these days to remain somewhat independent don't you? Don't you think that it makes it stronger perhaps? Even if you don't see eye to eye, you can have a wonderful caring relationship!

These are a few of the reasons why this balance of separateness and togetherness is important:

1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating. If each party brings his or her individual interests to the table, they'll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another.

• Perhaps he's interested in kayaking and she's intrigued with studying history. They can each engage their own pursuits fully, but also enjoy the other person's passion.

2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it. If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.

• Having confidence that your partner can "be okay" without you while you're at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
• Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally, and this is OK, I say Lean!!!!

3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship. When you're both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role.

• When balance isn't present, one partner might take the role of "the strong one" in the relationship while the other partner is consequently "the weak one." Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.

4. Your relationship becomes stronger. When two independent people make a decision to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.

• Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership, since it's built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.

5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.

• If a partner is emotionally secure, they're not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time. Showing your soft side is a good thing, so damn it, let that guard down will ya?
• Each person's sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay, since their independence already shows that they're able to take care of themselves.
• When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table.
• Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate's autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.

Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Bringing up different interests for discussion, feeling like you can depend on the other and having a balanced relationship all stem from both parties having their own sense of autonomy.

For these reasons and more, independence is integral to healthy relationships. Enjoy your partner, and share your thoughts and feelings. This brings a sense of balance to your relation, so build on that...and you will accomplish what many others have not, and cannot. Trust me, when you do the sky is the limit and there may even  be a little wedding bliss in your future!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com