The Ultimate Relationship

If I have said this once, I must have said it a million times over the course of the last 13 years....those thirteen years that I have been single since the big "D!" Divorce is not all that it is cracked up to be, For me, I married my high school sweetheart, and began living the fairy tale dream. He was a great provider and a good father, but I took him for granted. These are the stupid things that we do when we are married...Yes, we get so caught up in the moment and it is so sad to say that indeed all of that with so much of the 'material' crap and the want, want want thought process... we tend to lose site and we lose focus on the subject at hand...your marriage. Marriage is a commitment that you make to one an other that is supposed to mean something significant yet so many men and women throw in the towel so soon after they tie the knot. Why? They give up too quickly, and they don't want to try. Now, don't get me wrong, some of these people found their spouses cheating, or lying and in these instances, often there isn't really a whole lot you can do even with the help of a counselor to save it. 

Dating and marriage is different than it was twenty plus years ago. In today’s society, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes “commitment” seem scary. It's like having the plague for heaven sakes. It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges, people quit trying. Hey newsflash people...life sucks sometimes, and it isn't always easy, so either suck it up and put on your big girl panties or don't bother wasting your time and planning for that special day, the big event if you know now that you aren't in it for the long haul. Save your guests the expense of gifts and all of the wedding day hoop-a-la that goes with it. 

The issue at hand in today's society is that no one wants to take the time to get to know someone at a deeper level. For married couples, divorce is not biased. Whether married for twenty years or three  months, the outcome can be the same.The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled. What happened to the 'magic?' You know that spark that made you catch his/her eye in the first place...that embrace that you shared on your first date, or that first kiss.

Love is not a game. By making love a choice you are making a decision that even in the bad times, you stick it out.

Think of it like choosing a car. You pick out the make, model, year, color, and features that you believe are best for you. After driving your car for a couple of months, you realize that perhaps you should have purchased a larger car, or that maybe the fancy heated leather seats would have been better, or on hot sunny days, the moon roof would have been nice. However, it is now too late so you choose to keep your car and make it work. It is the same for marriage. 

Listen, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and we all have flaws, but we all do deserve to be respected. Respect is something that is earn. Treat others the way you wish to be treated and life will treat you well. Just so you  know, not everything will be all hunky-dork, and there will be major obstacles to overcome but you have made your decision and now you choose to make it work. There are hundreds of things you can do to better your relationship. In comparison, Men are like running shoes...Comforting, supportive, ready to go that extra mile. They intensify and give you energy, they adhere to you and keep you safe, and will always hold us up when we feel when we're about to fall. "Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it." Hello?? Doesn't that describe a relationship? 

 Every woman dreams of that Cinderella moment when she finds the man that meets her "wow" factor...so don't let your dreams get shattered. Hang on to that glass slipper girlfriend, because there is a man out there for you if you haven't met him, he very well may be just lurking right around the corner in search of his Cinderella, his one true happiness and my guess is that he is probably wanting the same things that you do....give it time, and be patient. My grandmother used to tell me; "Michele, good things come to those who wait!" Isn't 13 years long enough? Where is my prince...that man that will make me feel special, that man whose smile will light up the room and fill my heart with love. Where is this man and will he ever find me? Just like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, she stated; I've spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes! The true realization to this statement is this; you don't need to spend a lot of money on something to be happy, but the significance of that one perfect pair that fits like the glass slipper is out there, like a shoe, he isn't sitting on a shelf waiting for you...he is awaiting your presence and when the time is right, then he will prevail. I believe in fate, and paths crossing for certain reasons my friends. My advice, and it is not at all professional is that you don't a hundred pair of expensive stilettos, nor do you need to chase around hundreds of men, give life time to send you your own form of happiness, for when you find it you will know what the ultimate relationship is really all about.

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