As a parent, having patience all begins with your attitude. Some of us have patience's, and some of us, well...not so much. Here lies the issues with parenting skills; If you're a perfectionist, now is the time to get over it, yup you heard me, leave it at the door, toss those thoughts aside and say bye-bye! Listen, not until your kids are grown and out of the house will everything be sane, clean, and in order (at least not all at once and at the same time and then when the kids are gone you have to worry about your spouse making a mess). If you have the attitude that it's all going to be just fine and you can deal with it for about 18 years - you're ahead of the game, if not, sweetheart, you have a long road ahead of you....
My advice? Don't take things too seriously! Allow kids to be kids and do the goofy things that they're supposed to do. This means they're going to make messes, drop and break things, spill, topple, destroy, kill, mutilate - you know, be kids. The key here is not to go ballistic when these things happen. If you accept the fact that these things will happen, you won't lose your patience when they do. Here is a thought for you to ponder today: “I'm not going to be in a hurry today. I'm going to remain calm and relaxed. Whatever spills can be cleaned. Whatever breaks can be replaced or glued. I won't take out my anger or frustrations on my kids because I love them.”
So why is it that are you losing your patience to begin with? Well first off, hey, we are human. We aren't Ms Universe and we don't have all the answers. So what causes us to get a little 'say' a little agitated? Plenty of reasons, perhaps you'll l lose your patience because you're over-tired, over-stressed, have the feeling of being over-worked without any help, and don't have enough time for yourself. If you fix these areas, you're more likely to have patience with the little things kids can do to push your stress buttons. Fixing these areas means you go to bed earlier. Being stressed and tired is not worth staying up late to watch your favorite late-night talk shows!
Calm down, you aren't Super Mom! If your family comes home and leaves all the work to you while they then go off and do their own thing, ask them to help you, or do what I do, demand that they help you...and if they don't then maybe dinner won't get cooked tonight either? Remind them that you didn't have kids to do all the parenting yourself and tell them that you want some assistance. They, in turn, will stand and scratch their head and say, "Huh...what do ya mean?" That's when you sit down and divvy out chores and tasks to those in your family. If so far your family is only your spouse - or even a roommate if you're a single parent - put together chores that will take some of the work schedule off you. Why should you have to take the burden and do it all? That's crazy!
You may also lose patience because 'your expectations for your kids are wayyyy too high!' You can't expect your four-year-old to sit quietly through all your favorite parts of today's soap opera, the nightly news, nor can you expect your one-year-old to remember to stay out of the toilet paper even though you've told him at least 100 times. He may really love toilet paper, and you may have to tell him another 100 times (along with taking the toilet paper away and moving him out of the room where the toilet paper is). Then again, maybe that same four-year-old always sits quietly while watching Sesame Street. Maybe you've only had to tell your one-year-old to leave the litter box alone three times before he got the idea.
The bottom line here is pretty simple...don't expect your kids to listen to you the same in all situations, and don't expect miracles from them. Parenting is a lot easier when you stop setting expectations that are too high on your kids and you take them at face value. Don't take devilish actions personally..kids will be kids, and I'm sure if you ask your parents, they'll tell you that you weren't perfect either! Kids, like adult, learn from their mistakes...so gee, let them make a few! They will never learn if you do everything for them and if you are always correcting them. They want to dress themselves for church? Let them, even if the outfit is ridiculous and loud, let them wear it. You don't go to church to impress God, so really does it matter if you kid looks like Rainbow Brite? NO! Take a chill pill and enjoy your family, for one day they will graduate from college move across state, or out of state and then you'll have plenty of time to bitch about a dirty house. Until then, enjoy your family and don't sweat the small stuff!
The bottom line here is pretty simple...don't expect your kids to listen to you the same in all situations, and don't expect miracles from them. Parenting is a lot easier when you stop setting expectations that are too high on your kids and you take them at face value. Don't take devilish actions personally..kids will be kids, and I'm sure if you ask your parents, they'll tell you that you weren't perfect either! Kids, like adult, learn from their mistakes...so gee, let them make a few! They will never learn if you do everything for them and if you are always correcting them. They want to dress themselves for church? Let them, even if the outfit is ridiculous and loud, let them wear it. You don't go to church to impress God, so really does it matter if you kid looks like Rainbow Brite? NO! Take a chill pill and enjoy your family, for one day they will graduate from college move across state, or out of state and then you'll have plenty of time to bitch about a dirty house. Until then, enjoy your family and don't sweat the small stuff!
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