Do You Listen?

Do you listen when people talk or do you just want to stick your fingers in your ears and not listen at all? We need to listen better whether it be in our personal lives or our professional lives. Did you know that with all the sales training and various techniques to get better at your job that are offered out there, 85% of the time people still continue to overlook the simplest thing to execute, and that is the "art of listening!" You need to really focus and pay attention! No time for daydreaming so take the ear plugs out and really pay attention to your friends, your kids, your spouse, partner, mate, lover, mistress, coworkers, boss,...WHO EVER it is for goodness sakes LISTEN! 

Besides it is quite rude when you don't, especially if someone calls you out on it. Hello, welcome to my life, where my kids call me sometimes and I am in the middle of a blog article, entering orders, or reading emails from my shipping warehouses and they get so angry with me. Why? I'm tuning out what they are saying to finish what it was that I was doing when the called me.I am distracted by others around me or whatever it is that I am doing that makes them realize that I 'm not paying attention. There are times where my daughter will then say "Mother, what did I just say?" If I'm lucky I get at least half of it right, but quite honestly, I am ashamed that I missed most of the conversation.

 No, this does not happen all the time but it does and both my son and daughter make light of it by telling me how terrible it truly it is. Sometimes they'll say, I have to go now. Guilt then eats away at me and I think to myself, 'tune out what your doing Michele and focus on them for a few minutes and their needs.' They may be seeking your advice or want your honest reaction to something and if you haven't a clue what they just said, chances are they won't come to you again for advice or your opinion. This isn't just something we do with out kids, it happens often with anyone that tries to pop our bubble while we are in the middle of something, or lost somewhere in deep thought!

Yes, communication is key, I say that day in and day out...so then why do we tend to tune things or people out when they are speaking? It's not all about me, me, me,...in fact, I don't talk personally about myself often at all. It's all family, or work. Just so that you know,...I am working harder now to be more alert and pay more attention to what my family says to me. Sometimes though, I am off far away and into some pretty deep thought and it all goes over my head, or as some would say, "in on ear and out the other!" So what do I suggest? Well what I have learned from my children is that listening carefully is the route to take! Pay attention to their wants and needs. Nothing in life is so important that you can't set it aside for 5 minutes.

Did you know that a  good listener attracts more clients and closes more sales than talking constantly about anything to do with you or the service you offer.Yup it sure does!  However, unfortunately, the typical sales person always has something more to say and a difficult time closing their yap. With practice, it's possible ... I know...I'm still learning. Now that I have my businesses, I do listen to others much better. My grandmother used to always say "Michele, keep your ears open and your mouth shut!" Remember the smallest details can be the key factors in stealing a major account from someone, or getting that raise/promotion that you've wanted for so long. So how exactly do you improve your skills by simply listening?

• Listen with your eyes as well as your ears. Use your eyes and ears to show interest in your discussions with prospects. While listening carefully, your eyes can detect body language that can communicate information about what the person is saying and thinking.

• Don't "overpower" prospects. You will meet prospects that you know you can win over with your intelligence, charisma, and confidence. If you treat these prospects with condescension because you know immediately they are within your grasp you will overpower and lose them. To truly listen to a timid or meek prospect, make the prospect feel vital, happy, and comfortable! This makes it a win/win situation!

• Don't argue with prospects. If a prospect makes a statement that you strongly disagree with, do not get into an argument or a cat fight over it, please!!! Diplomatically and respectfully discuss your opinion. Your sincere respect for his or her point of view will build a deeper  admiration and loyalty. Your purpose is to encourage your prospect to speak freely and opening… making you a friend and confidant.

• Never "dis" the competition. You heard me, don't knock them! Remember that your prospects might be good listeners too. If you speak negatively about others, prospects may be uncomfortable giving you information about themselves. That makes sense right? So please, do avoid attacking others to raise your status. This tactic only makes you look petty, lacking in confidence in your own skills, and will most certainly backfire on you somewhere down the line.

• Listen to them more! Let them do the talking. It's not all about YOU, so shut up and listen! Be attentive and alert. No dreaming away in la-la land because chances are, they're going to ask you for your advice or opinion and you'll look like a moron if you have no clue what to say because you had your head up your ass and we're paying attention! Listen to every requirement, objection, and make note of as much personal information as possible. The only time you should monopolize the discussion is when you're sure you have what they are looking for… and even that discussion should involve questions and answers from the prospect.

As you can see, listening does not simply mean keeping your mouth shut. If this were the case, I would be in very big trouble! The true value in listening is what you learn, in addition to making your prospect feel like they are being "heard."Listen, interpret, and display understanding. Concentrate on your prospect's tone, inflection, body language, and breathing. With these clues, you'll better understand the prospect, the needs, the wants, and how you can satisfy that need.Your friends, kids, spouses, mates, lovers, mistresses and coworkers will be grateful indeed!

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