Why Money Causes Arguments Amongst Couples...

Let's Talk About Money Management...

While so many of us try to save, and save for our future with the man of our dreams, our partner may not be working as hard as you are, and if this happens we tend to get a little pissy. Here's an example; A friend of mine has been saving for months now to grow her bank account so that when she and her boyfriend plan their future, she'll have a nest egg, while he on the other hand just went out and bought himself a nice new putter for golfing. Do we get mad about this or do we talk it out and begin making decisions together? Was it OK for her to get upset? Most women that I know would have shared her same reaction. Why should you bust your ass if your partner isn't going to do so? This happens to couples on a daily basis and is the #1 reason for break-ups! Why is money such an issues for so many people? Some counselors say that money handling is the number one priority issue of conflict among couples. Problems arise with how money is viewed, how it should be saved, spent and even earned. I've found an article that might help you in addressing some of these issues, and I have added my two cents as usual...So here are some general guidelines to money management to help iron out some financial issues for couples.

1.

Decide to set aside some time for discussing your financial matters in peace and quiet. Do it today,...not tomorrow. My grandmother used to always say "Save for a rainy day!" Doing this quarterly (or monthly, if time and patience allow) is a good idea. Then you can make sure your budget is on track and allow a glance ahead at possible items coming up that may have been missed (like renewal of driver’s licenses) and look back to see how you are doing.

2.

Gather all of your budgeting materials in one place; notebook paper, 3-prong folder with pockets for storing bills as they arrive in the mail, stamps, calculator, envelopes, check book, savings book, pencil, pen. When it’s time to work on your finances, bring everything out at once (maybe store in a special drawer or box for handy pick-up-and-go.) This way it is in writing right in front of you and quite difficult to ignore.

3.

On a sheet of notebook paper (or a sheet from a budget planning guidebook or software print out), list each monthly expense; rent / house payment, each utility, charities / tithing, grocery money, misc. funds (to allow for medicines, snacks, CD rental, etc.), car payments, insurance, credit card payments, etc. For guidelines, there are several things you can do; check with your local bank for budget planning help, ask a librarian for help finding budget books, check your computer’s software (Microsoft Word has some business / budgeting sheets that can be altered to fit your family planning needs, for instance) Hint: visit mint.com for the best free way to manage your money.

4.

Fill in the blanks on your budget planner page. List how much each monthly payment is in #3 above. Then total the list to see how much income you need to cover all your expenses.

5.

Note your incomes in a separate column off to the side. Does your income exceed your expense total? If so, great. Simply have fun choosing what you’d like to both do with your extra income, with long-term and short-term goals that are compatible with both of you. If not, if income does not exceed expenses, and this is the area where discourse usually strikes, it’s time to whittle down your expenses and / or earn extra income.

Here are tips on whittling down income and being more budget-conscious with your available funds:

• Use coupons, even cyber-ones...that's right do whatever you have to and cut those corners!
  
• Check with your insurance about higher deductibles and any special rate savings programs they may have (like good driving discounts).
  
• Visit second hand stores for used books and clothing. Why pay top dollar if you really don't have to?
  
• Donate time and volunteer work instead of tithing money. Great idea...and so many shelters need your help!
  
• Buy store brand foods, toiletry and household items (shampoos, deodorants, light bulbs, etc.) instead of brand names. 
• Cook at home more as entertainment and invite your neighbors and friends over. And skip eating out so much, renting CD / DVDs and going to movies.
  
• Track and monitor your spending. Jot purchases in a notebook and keep handy with your checkbook for quick reference. Review and see how you do weekly. Improve!
  
• Plan ahead. For example, save a little each month for Christmas so that in December, you’ll already have what you need for gifts already saved up. Likewise for annual insurance billings (like for the house) or for any other annual billings.
  
• See if you can trade services with others. For example, if you have a computer and can toss up a decent web page maybe you can create web pages for small business in the area in exchange for gift cards to use in their stores.
  
• Sell some of your stuff – try online auctions, garage sales, cheap classifieds, bulletin boards around town…
  
• Resist the urge to “immediately” fulfill a want. Instead, keep a list going of “wants.” If an item has been on there for a year, for example, then begin shopping for it. Look for bargains, try to trade for it, negotiate for a better deal. Waiting generally means you’ll really want it more (or not, and cross it off your list) and will actually USE it when you get it and not just toss it in a pile with other unopened or hardly used things that you just HAD to have.