Friday, May 18, 2012

Dating...Weeding Out the Wrong Type of Gal

We've all heard that saying; 'you can't see the forest through the trees...'  Do you know what that means? It means you can see past the mayhem if you will into the heart of things. You know how they say it's what's on the inside that counts?...You see people for who they really are as in true colors. Oh sure, we’ve all heard the stories about how many time people have misrepresented themselves on dating websites by posting out-of-date photos (and in some cases I'm talking so so so out of date) that quite honestly, don’t reflect what the person looks like anymore, or by fudging on age or other factors.My questions is why,why why? Really...do you no think that when you meet for the first time they won't notice this?

We want to find people to date that are honest, and we don’t want to get unpleasant surprises when we find out that the woman we’ve been exchanging messages with is really ten years older, and her photo is from twelve years ago, before her hair went completely gray (not that there’s anything wrong with gray hair)!
What’s the cut-off for fudging on a profile anyway? Is it acceptable for her to report that she weighs 120 lbs when she really weighs 135 lbs? Is it okay for her to omit information like the fact that she has tattoos from head to toe? I'd want to know if she did because I'm not into tattoos. So how exactly do we weed out the women who are being less than honest with us?

First, it’s not uncommon for people, both men and women, to conveniently forget that they gained ten or fifteen pounds over the holidays, or that they had a birthday six months ago. That doesn’t necessarily make it right, though. 

You’re the only person who can decide if any misleading information is grounds for kicking someone to the curb, or if certain misrepresentations are considered outright purposeful dishonesty. If you’re trying to weed the wrong kinds of women out of your dating pool, then here are some tips as to what you should do:
  • Decide where your “honesty cut-off” is, and don’t waiver from it. If you do, you’ll always feel that nagging concern in the back of your mind that she’s not being totally upfront with you about other things.
  • Have several conversations with a prospective date, online and by phone if possible to get to know her before you even suggest a date. Look for inconsistencies.
  • Ask lots of questions about her life. Don’t try to be a detective or to conduct an inquisition, just gather lots of information to help you make an informed decision about whether or not she’d be a good candidate for your romantic life.
  • Talk to her about what you value in life and see how she responds. Keep this kind of conversation light, because if you start to sound like you’re preaching, you’re going to turn her off.

    If it’s seriously important to you that your date is tattoo-free for example, you could strike up a conversation about how you once considered getting a tattoo, but you decided that you like the look of the skin you were born with – free of artwork. You can do this with just about any subject - the way she responds will tell you a lot and inadvertently , you'll get your answer without her knowing what it was really that you were asking in particular. Sneaky? Yes,  but we all do it. 
  • Make the first date something very easy to get out of – coffee, or a walk in the park, or meeting at a popular spot for a quick drink after work. Set a time limit that you keep. That way if you meet, and you find that your date hasn’t been upfront with you, you have an easy way out and you can walk away having learned something. 
Good women are out there, and we do come in all shapes and sizes. None of us are perfect, but guys, then again, neither are you. We sit and be patient, just waiting for the right guy to come along...and guess what fellas? They are more than willing to be upfront about themselves. My theory is and always has been "Hey, this is me, take it or leave it!" I like who I am and I'm not about to change just to make someone else happy. Some women may want to put the accent on their good traits (that’s really normal) but they certainly won’t misrepresent themselves just to get a date, and neither should you!


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