Tell me something....Is your appetite for sex as strong as it was a month ago, or a year ago? If not why is that? Are you getting what you want or does it feel like something is missing? Sure, you and your partner make love regularly but are you really satisfied with what you do together? If your answer is "Yes, I am perfectly content with my sex life," then that's awesome! But if your answer is closer to "Umm... well..." then perhaps it's time for a change. Here are some tips for getting what you want in your sex life.You don't have to pull teeth to get these things, but you do have to communicate and as Madonna once sang "Express Yourself!"
Know what you want
This sounds painfully obvious, but it's not as simple as you may think. There are numerous reasons why it can be hard to answer the question, What do I want? Some people shut down their desires because they feel funny about them. Others have a very limited knowledge of the countless ways that humans can express themselves sexually. Many individuals don't understand their bodies very well.
Understanding what you want requires being open to your most personal thoughts and feelings. There is no need to be judgmental about desire. What do you fantasize about, either during lovemaking or when you're alone? Fantasies are often crazy and unrealistic, but there may be elements that could easily be acted out in the bedroom. If you believe that you are lacking in sexual knowledge, then give yourself permission to learn more through reading books, watching movies, or surfing the web. Maybe you should role play?
Ask for what you want
Now that you have a good idea of what you want, share it with your partner. Try to frame your request in a positive way. Don't complain about how dissatisfied you are with the status quo. Instead, talk about how much you love your private time together and how it exciting it would be if he or she did a certain thing. If he or she seems unwilling to consider your request, then you need to find out why. Once you understand your partner's hesitation, you may be able to come up with a compromise that would be rewarding for both of you.
Give your partner what he or she wants
If you're getting what you want, it's only fair that your partner gets what he or she wants, right? Ummm YES! A sexual relationship should be mutually satisfying or it will hit the rocks pretty quickly. Give your partner an opportunity to talk about his or her own desires and do your best to fulfill them. Ladies, don't withhold sex as a punishment. This is not a game, and the poor guy doesn't want to experience blue balls night after night because you are angry or hormonal. If something is bugging you, fix the real problem instead of letting your resentment spill over into the bedroom. And gentlemen, you need to understand that pleasing and fully satisfying your partner is the most effective way of getting more sex.
It's that simple. You really can get what you want, sexually speaking - or at least a big portion of it. Use these tips as a guide to curing dissatisfaction in the bedroom. When you understand your own desires, are able to verbalize them, and are willing to cater to your partner's desires, the end result can only be a more spectacular love life. Spice it up and keep the fire burning in the bedroom! Your bedroom should be rockin',...or has the sizzle died?
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