When you are a nice girl, everyone loves you because you take care of everyone else. You are alluring, and have an exquisite way with words, your style is appealing, you are everyone's friend, your sense of humor is like that of no other and your mentality level is off the charts. What's wrong with that? Absolutely NOTHING, so don't change who you are for a minute! You have the positive outgoing demeanor, you have that 'conquer the world' type attitude, you put everyone else first before yourself, and you are a giver. Your presence is your mannerism, you know your true value, and you have a high level of sincerity and integrity.
Have you ever wondered why nice girls have a hard time getting the men they want? When does being nice become a turn off to men? What is it about nice girls that make guys run for the hills? My findings are that guys are turned on by nice girls but they are just as easily turned off by certain things that they do. Maybe women are too independent and men feel the need to be the power force in a relationship? Men love to come to the rescue like Superman and save the day. Guess what? In today's society, we women are very independent and we are Superwoman, or Supermom. We take control of our own destiny. Times have changed and we no longer are the type of women that our mothers and grandmothers were. We can actually stand on our own two feet quite well. If something breaks we fix it. If someone hurts us we bounce back.
Is there a down fall to being this way (nice)? There is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice. The problem comes up when you're just too nice because it makes you an easy target to get dumped, walked on or mistreated. Most men that I know of enjoy the thrill of the chase. Nice women lay their cards on the table and make it real easy to read what they want and how they feel. This is why some men are more drawn to girls who are more apt to say what is on their mind even when it's the complete opposite of what their men think.The one thing with nice girls that turn guys off is they cease to be a challenge. Sad, but in this day and age it is true. I guess being a bad ass bitch who will walk all over them is what they desire more? Perhaps this is why they go through relationships after relationships that only last a short time yet there is never no true commitment?
My guess is that they are dealing with some of their own inner demons and can't be happy with a nice girl because we get boring after a while. Some men like the rush, the excitement and everything that goes with it. Have you ever heard a man say "Its not you, its me"? He may be saying that but what he really means is "Its not me, its you". Chances are good that when it comes to commitment, the problem is you. I know that's a tough pill to swallow. You may feel you do everything right and you are an awesome girlfriend. You probably are an awesome girlfriend but that is not necessarily what triggers those deeper feelings in a man. The things you are doing to be an great girlfriend could very well be the things that keep him from committing. You're too nice!
Being Too Nice
Although guys like girls who are nice, there's such a thing as being too nice. If you're too nice that becomes a difficult thing to live up to. A guy may feel that he has to be almost perfect to be good enough.The other problem with being too nice is that, as a woman, you may feel that this means you always have to go along with whatever he says or whatever he wants to do. You don't want to argue or rock the boat in any way. Although your heart is in the right place this can old, pretty fast for a guy. He'd rather have some teasing and lively debates. He wants a companion; someone who knows her own mind, not a yes woman.
Share Responsibilities in Communication
Even though guys like to get their own way most of the time, and they may always think that they are right, believe it or not, they don't want that all the time.If you don't change, there will come a point where his frustration will boil over and you'll be left wondering what went wrong because you were always so accommodating. This is a big reason why nice girls finish last. We are the peace maker, the silent partner and the one who thinks before she speaks, and the one who listens, and the one who can read between the lines better than you think. Relationships are not one sided. It takes two to make them work. If the foundation is not set properly it will fail. Talking about it and being honest will help you to understand what went wrong, why you aren't the one for him, or vica versa, and you'll feel better knowing that you were open about it.
If You're Too Easy Going... STOP!
As a nice girl it has for so long been said that you may not want to make waves, take my advice...make them! MAKE BIG WAVES! Stand your ground and be YOU because you can't let a guy walk all over you. Get angry once in awhile and speak about why you're upset. If you just accept whatever he does without saying anything, he'll only keep doing it. Then you'll be left stewing in silence with your blood boiling over.So if he's supposed to take you out, or call, and he doesn't do it, let him have it. Otherwise, he'll use you, knowing that you'll let it go. And guess what? Things will only get worse. Some men however find that nice woman are just that, super sweet, loving, good looking and kind...sometimes that's still not enough. Cut your loses.You deserve someone who is in it to win it, and by winning it I mean your love and affection whole heartily. Never settle for less ladies, there is someone out there just waiting for a nice woman like you, so don't give up and don't think for a minute that a month from now he won't be kicking himself for a bad decision based on how his penis thinks and not his real head.
Can you see now why nice girls finish last so often? If you can, that's great but what are you going to do about it? Remember, you can be nice without being one of those nice girls who can't keep the guy.
I listen to men talk over and over about what they want in relationship and physical attraction. Chemistry I say is important but communication is key just the same. The problems lies within, most men are far from perfect and have their own insecurities and bad habits but they all want the dream girl. What does this dream gal do? Well, she inspires a man to want to be with her, spend time with her, respect her, possibly take her to forever. She does this with a feminine grace that is hard for a man to resist. She is fun, playful, has boundaries and does not badger or nag to get what she needs out of a relationship. Fellas, you are in la-la land if you think that this dream girl is going to love you more than someone with all of the other rare qualities I mentioned above. If you want a fantasy girl, by a blow up doll. She'll be everything you want her to be.
Relationships are like finding the perfect fitting shoe. They just don't come in your size, you have to grow into them.
Have you ever wondered why nice girls have a hard time getting the men they want? When does being nice become a turn off to men? What is it about nice girls that make guys run for the hills? My findings are that guys are turned on by nice girls but they are just as easily turned off by certain things that they do. Maybe women are too independent and men feel the need to be the power force in a relationship? Men love to come to the rescue like Superman and save the day. Guess what? In today's society, we women are very independent and we are Superwoman, or Supermom. We take control of our own destiny. Times have changed and we no longer are the type of women that our mothers and grandmothers were. We can actually stand on our own two feet quite well. If something breaks we fix it. If someone hurts us we bounce back.
Is there a down fall to being this way (nice)? There is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice. The problem comes up when you're just too nice because it makes you an easy target to get dumped, walked on or mistreated. Most men that I know of enjoy the thrill of the chase. Nice women lay their cards on the table and make it real easy to read what they want and how they feel. This is why some men are more drawn to girls who are more apt to say what is on their mind even when it's the complete opposite of what their men think.The one thing with nice girls that turn guys off is they cease to be a challenge. Sad, but in this day and age it is true. I guess being a bad ass bitch who will walk all over them is what they desire more? Perhaps this is why they go through relationships after relationships that only last a short time yet there is never no true commitment?
My guess is that they are dealing with some of their own inner demons and can't be happy with a nice girl because we get boring after a while. Some men like the rush, the excitement and everything that goes with it. Have you ever heard a man say "Its not you, its me"? He may be saying that but what he really means is "Its not me, its you". Chances are good that when it comes to commitment, the problem is you. I know that's a tough pill to swallow. You may feel you do everything right and you are an awesome girlfriend. You probably are an awesome girlfriend but that is not necessarily what triggers those deeper feelings in a man. The things you are doing to be an great girlfriend could very well be the things that keep him from committing. You're too nice!
Being Too Nice
Although guys like girls who are nice, there's such a thing as being too nice. If you're too nice that becomes a difficult thing to live up to. A guy may feel that he has to be almost perfect to be good enough.The other problem with being too nice is that, as a woman, you may feel that this means you always have to go along with whatever he says or whatever he wants to do. You don't want to argue or rock the boat in any way. Although your heart is in the right place this can old, pretty fast for a guy. He'd rather have some teasing and lively debates. He wants a companion; someone who knows her own mind, not a yes woman.
Share Responsibilities in Communication
Even though guys like to get their own way most of the time, and they may always think that they are right, believe it or not, they don't want that all the time.If you don't change, there will come a point where his frustration will boil over and you'll be left wondering what went wrong because you were always so accommodating. This is a big reason why nice girls finish last. We are the peace maker, the silent partner and the one who thinks before she speaks, and the one who listens, and the one who can read between the lines better than you think. Relationships are not one sided. It takes two to make them work. If the foundation is not set properly it will fail. Talking about it and being honest will help you to understand what went wrong, why you aren't the one for him, or vica versa, and you'll feel better knowing that you were open about it.
If You're Too Easy Going... STOP!
As a nice girl it has for so long been said that you may not want to make waves, take my advice...make them! MAKE BIG WAVES! Stand your ground and be YOU because you can't let a guy walk all over you. Get angry once in awhile and speak about why you're upset. If you just accept whatever he does without saying anything, he'll only keep doing it. Then you'll be left stewing in silence with your blood boiling over.So if he's supposed to take you out, or call, and he doesn't do it, let him have it. Otherwise, he'll use you, knowing that you'll let it go. And guess what? Things will only get worse. Some men however find that nice woman are just that, super sweet, loving, good looking and kind...sometimes that's still not enough. Cut your loses.You deserve someone who is in it to win it, and by winning it I mean your love and affection whole heartily. Never settle for less ladies, there is someone out there just waiting for a nice woman like you, so don't give up and don't think for a minute that a month from now he won't be kicking himself for a bad decision based on how his penis thinks and not his real head.
Can you see now why nice girls finish last so often? If you can, that's great but what are you going to do about it? Remember, you can be nice without being one of those nice girls who can't keep the guy.
I listen to men talk over and over about what they want in relationship and physical attraction. Chemistry I say is important but communication is key just the same. The problems lies within, most men are far from perfect and have their own insecurities and bad habits but they all want the dream girl. What does this dream gal do? Well, she inspires a man to want to be with her, spend time with her, respect her, possibly take her to forever. She does this with a feminine grace that is hard for a man to resist. She is fun, playful, has boundaries and does not badger or nag to get what she needs out of a relationship. Fellas, you are in la-la land if you think that this dream girl is going to love you more than someone with all of the other rare qualities I mentioned above. If you want a fantasy girl, by a blow up doll. She'll be everything you want her to be.
Relationships are like finding the perfect fitting shoe. They just don't come in your size, you have to grow into them.
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| www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com |
Men like bad girls, then they wonder why their heart were ripped out a few years later....go figure. Great article Michele.
ReplyDeleteKenneth F
Pittsburgh, PA
Why do nice girls finish last? I always finish last? Why is it that the harder we try to be the 'right' kind of woman, the faster they run to the beauty bomb shell bitch? I just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteKali P
Washington, DC
Many man think that nice women are too nice and won't be as supportive down the road, in these cases Miss Michele we are thinking with the wrong organ and not the one we should be thinking with. You know how that saying goes "misery loves company?"
ReplyDeleteLarry H
Reno, NV
Good girls should not be finishing last! What's wrong with me? They want the perfect woman, then then find her and she's too nice? Give me a flippin break!
ReplyDeleteDidi Carroll
Dillon SC
We all know that women love bad boys, but we sure as hell don't marry them, we know better. What's wrong with these men that that pass the great gals up for some two bit hussy that is 5'9 and skinny?
ReplyDeleteI believe in karma Miss Michele. What goes around does come around! They'll get theirs. Keep being a nice woman. You deserve only the best. I got out of this article that you were one of these nice girls? Yes?
Delores F
Alliance OH
There is nothing wrong with nice woman, and good girls. Men just don't get it, and they probably never will...and we wonder why the divorce rate is so high? HAHA!
ReplyDeleteLydia Falez
Columbia, SC
Nice write up Shell!
ReplyDeleteDavid