Are You a Pessimist?

Did you know that in spite of your own sense of balance and optimism about life, hanging around pessimistic people at home, work, school and play can be a real downer after too much exposure. Negative vibes are a sure-fire way to bring about more misery in others and it can be truly energy-sapping trying to deflect the pessimistic outlook. I know this for a fact..I've spent time around people like this in the past. Indeed, it can be worse if you're in a role of encouraging or suggesting ways for the pessimist to see the bright side of life because this can become an ingrained habit in which you feel compelled to make their world a little happier while in turn, they just keep shooting down anything resembling a more positive presentation of life. When someone is trying to empty your half full glass to one that's half empty don't let them. Refuse to allow your own life to be brought down by someone else's pessimism.

People can be gracious, kind and thoughtful, and still bring you down.Someone can bring you down with a smile. It can be somewhat confusing at times to know who is bringing you down. Appearances can be deceiving. Some people, of course, you know for sure, but what about the others? You can't just say anyone who criticizes you is someone to look out for because some people can bring you down without making even the slightest criticism. Some can do it without even uttering a word! I know a lot of these people. Do you?

There are some common ways people use to bring you down. Knowing their methods will make it easier for you to both detect it and to cope with it. Understanding alone can sometimes ease or eliminate pain. But be aware there are thousands of ways to bring you down, so we won't spend a lot of time trying to get you to understand about different "personality types". We're not going to give labels like, "gruff," "whiner," "sad sack," etc., because the best way to deal with people who bring you down is to concentrate on the way you handle yourself, not them. That's not to say it's your fault. It is a simple matter of pragmatism. But we'll get into that a little later.

Here are some clues about how they do it, so you can recognize it when it's happening to you. One of the things they do is talk to you about negative things. They might tell you about some bad news they heard or read or saw on TV. Or they'll tell you about something bad that happened to someone else. They are likely to talk to you in a certain way about things. They tend to use what is known as a "pessimistic explanatory style".

Here's a breakdown of how a pessimist thinks:

1. Good things don't last. (says who?) Good things are only temporary. This way of explaining things (as well as the other two below) tends to put the pessimist himself in a bad mood, and when he shares this pessimistic point of view with you, it tends to bring you down too.
2. Good things are small and unimportant and don't influence much of your life.
3. If a good thing happens to you, it is a fluke — you had nothing to do with it. You don't deserve much credit for it. The economy changed in your favor, or it was mostly the fact that you got really lucky. 

 Someone who brings you down might also tell you you're doing too much or too little, and in this way mess with your own rhythm and pace, tripping you up. They can make you feel bad by telling you you're doing more than you ought to, or make you feel bad by telling you you're not doing enough.They don't like your ideas, in fact they think that half of the time they'll never work...well, isn't that swell? Who has time for fun and laughter when Debbie Downer rips you and your thoughts down one step at a time? I say it is time to put positive people in your life that will stand beside you, not behind you to push you off the cliff or to throw you under the bus. Are you for real? I don't know about you but I only want energetic and positive people in my life. I work too hard to have someone else tell me that who I am or what I have it isn't good enough. 

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