Can you make a relationship work if you find out he has cheated? My guess.....quite simply,... NO! When you begin a relationship with someone new and you spend time with you begin to develop a level of trust. Yes, it may takes months to get to that level of feeling comfortable with your new mate, and maybe even in some cases years...but that trust should never be compromised. Cheating does just that. It breaks the level of trust you share , even if you don't know it's going on at the time.
In a relationship you need honesty and trust for it to really work. I keep saying it....lay a solid foundation....but cheaters aren't honest people and they certainly aren't people you can trust... so what are you left with? Love? Perhaps..... but really sometimes love just isn't enough. Cheating changes everything. Your whole relationship changes as a result and while your initial instinct may be to save the relationship and salvage what is left, when you really look at it you'll probably find that if your partner had so little respect for you and themselves to actually commit the act of cheating then the reality is they aren't worthy of having your love. What happened to the word "respect?" Where is the respect that you are supposed to have for this wonderful persona you are so involved with? They truly aren't open to the aspect of what issues lie within this touchy subject, are they? Nope!
You know... it could be years before you find out they've cheated, even if its been a simple one night stand as opposed to a full blown affair it'll still cut like a knife to know that someone you loved has betrayed you on that level. Even if they say that this incident happened years previous and has never been repeated those feelings you feel when you find out won't be as easy to move on from. Those emotions will always be there. You will always feel anger, hurt and the urge to get back at them somehow....
Sure these feelings might not be ones you feel every day and sometimes you might be able to convince yourself it'll all work out and your happy but then suddenly those feelings of doubt , hurt and betrayal will creep back up on you and you'll be left in pieces once again....it will never be over and your true vision of this perfect person has been shattered. When you find out someone you love has cheated on you, no matter how small the altercation may have been it hurts....it really changes how you see them, and it should change how you see "you." Honestly, it's almost impossible to ever go back to how things where before it happened before you knew and before they messed up and before they made a choice to break that band of trust of had.
That trust is something you will NEVER EVER EVER get back. You can always try but deep down inside of you you'll constantly be aware that it happened and you'll constantly be waiting on it happening again. And I'm talking from experience here...it will eat at your heart and your mind until you drive yourself crazy.
In my eyes a cheater is someone who is weak and someone who compulsively lies. Perhaps they've found that the intensity of the relationship is too much, they feel pressured , scared of commitment and moving forward with you. What bothers me most is why is it that when men cheat (this same holds true for women, I am just using a man as an example) some might treat you with such disrespect, and they'll say terrible things,...not to mention they will accuse you of the very thing that they are doing.....why? Why the hell not? They accuse you to take the focus of it being on them.... who are in fact, the wrong doers...the bottom feeders. Now you find yourself defending acts that you are not partaking in while all along ladies, he is messing with you to cover up his own indiscretions in your relationship. I am quite the professional, BUT don't play with my heart.....
So....if this occurs (should you find out) and he has an itch,Ohhh ladies,by all means give him something to scratch..... without doing something harmful so to speak because that would be soooo wrong,....
Do this!..... Wash all of his white underwear in hot water with a half bottle of bleach.....(Yes I know, won't he smell it? Sure he will UNLESS you then rinse it and put some "Snuggle" fabric softener in it to take the bleach scent out. If you forget the fabric softner or don't have any, fabric sheets work just the same. Trust me, men don't pay attention to laundry....... a few days later and after wearing his undies close to his skin, his privates will get so sore, swollen, red and itchy that he won't even be able to sit for a few days, nonetheless cheat on you again. I learned a lesson years ago....and I'll share it with you.
"Revenge is best served cold!" This means....don't cause a big stink when the shit is hitting the fan,....get mad, but don't blow a head gasket......when all cools down.....you do the unthinkable.....when he thinks you've got past this, you make your move. No, it's not at all childish, its getting even.
If you are all about really rubbing it in and making it be known what a slime ball he is and money is sort of "no object".....well then consider this:
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