Dating Tips on Healing Hearts.....

There is no such thing as a broken heart-only a heart that is learning to love more and better.

Realizing that your heart isn't damaged is a relief. But when you're desperately trying to let go of a former mate, and you're in emotional agony, this bit of wisdom is cold comfort. Take a deep breath, and understand that sometimes things just are not meant to be. Many say they can feel a physical aching in the chest that can last for weeks and even months. An inability to hear love songs on the radio without crying is common.

Why do we find it so hard to release when a relationship ends? We get emotionally attached when we fall in love. Emotional attachment is wonderful when the relationship is in full bloom, but a great source of pain when the romance is over. Emotional attachment is responsible for much angst, from jealousy to endless mooning over the lost love, to an inability to move on. Once you finally break the attachment, you have a pleasant neutrality towards the former object of your attachment. You know you're over him when you can see him with another woman and not feel a surge of emotion. Friendships are always something to consider, but can you do it? Can you go from being their lover to their friend? It's not easy. Never have I ever continued on to be someones friend after a relationship ended.

 If you are meant to be with her, nothing can keep you apart. For now, you need to disengage. Releasing is not something you can fake. You have to really let go. Letting go may expedite her coming back to you, but you can't do it for this reason. She is not with you now, and that reality must be faced. What went wrong? Why did we not see this coming and what on earth caused this outburst? Insecurities? Maybe....two people coming from two different places? That's an excuse. I'm sorry. When two people get along and have similarities, there is generally no other way to go but up, ahhhh,.....STOP!! ....then reality steps in and says "Hey, not so fast!" Time to get your bubble burst......someone gets cold feet and you end up back to square one again. Perhaps being single is easier? Perhaps we have long steadfast friendship because we always end up back at square one? Or maybe our friends are are support groups that give us the inspiration to keep on going..... As you let go, a strange thing will happen. The Universe will begin to support you. Synchronistic events and spontaneous good will arise to distract you or pull you in another direction. Focus on your life vision. It is said that what you look for in another is only yourself.

Refocus on your own life. This is healing. As you go through the grieving that is natural upon a break-up, begin to open to a vision of your life as you want it. Include not only the perfect relationship but also your life's mission and most importantly, an image of you at your best-in your power and flourishing, living your life to the fullest. Dissolve the Pain. Both of the previous steps will help you handle the pain of emotional release. However, if you have had other wounds in your life, you have built up a large emotional "pain body" that has been reactivated by this break-up. It is time to dissolve this pain body so that you'll never experience such deep loss again. Do this by allowing yourself to feel all of the pain you have stored up inside. Know that tears are healing, a release in and of themselves.

Not only will this break-up not kill you, but it may be the best thing that ever happened to you. The pain of a break-up can push you into a world of magic, of release and of healing that you otherwise might not have entered. And even though you may think your ex is the be-all, end-all, of your life, undoubtedly there is more love, even better love right around the corner. Sometimes we have to duke it out....sometimes we kiss and make up, and sometimes we just keep the memories of what was shared and find peace within ourselves and move forward.

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