Bad Romance

No one ever wants to admit it, but it’s a fact. Relationships take a turn for the worse, or it's just doomed to be a "Bad Romance." This is therapy. It's up to you to determine where to go from here..... Some couples make better friends than lovers. In my case, this holds true.The trick is to learn to recognize the difference before your relationship heads in the wrong direction, inevitably leading to painful conflict, broken hearts or - worst of all - an unhappy marriage. I'm not, nor have I ever been the woman to allow a man to change me. I have been set in my ways for years and although we tend to think that we can reverse that effect, it generally back fires on us somewhere along the line causing hurt or rejection. It works against you most often. I'm not saying that women who have been alone for a while can't have a good relationship, I'm simply stating that she needs to find the "right one" not the he'll do for now. In my case, my friend and I go a long way back and I admire him for many things and on various levels. He have many similarities, however the few that we don't share are enough to put a damper on something that in time, down the road, might have been good. He reads my blogs, and  I appreciate his support. I'll always consider him a friend. “Everyone wants to find the love of their life and live happily ever after,”  “Unfortunately, the excitement of a new relationship often obscures important signs that, while the two of you may have good reason to feel destined to be in each other’s lives, the relationship will be more successful as a friendship than a romance.” I believe that a close and enduring friendship is of far greater value than a contentious love affair. And although friendship is a key component to any happy marriage, many dating part-ners would be wise to recognize when it’s best to just stay as friends, and look for romance elsewhere. Men aren't necessities, they are luxuries. We don't to have one, but we love having them around. I enjoy all of my friendships. Here's an example for you.....How about these two.....Jerry and Elaine from Seinfeld. Although they had dated briefly, they had the sense to let their relationship evolve into what it really was - just a great friendship. Might I suggest that couples consider the following when assessing whether they might make better friends than lovers: Where Lie the Common Values We all know that sharing common values is the foundation of a successful relationship. Couples should consider whether their core beliefs are in sync before letting a relationship get too serious. If not, cut your losses.  Does one of you hold a definitive code of ethics, while the other hold the "fly by the seat of their pants ethics?" If so....Watch out! Don't let this one catch you with your guard down, it might hurt! Complementary Backgrounds While it is possible for a dedicated couple to overcome almost any obstacle, significant differences in your personal backgrounds make long-term success an uphill battle. A couple in which both partners come from similar socio-economic backgrounds will probably enjoy much smoother sailing than a couple with very different backgrounds. For example; Over the long haul, the invisible gulf that separates someone with a blue-collar background from someone with a privileged, or well lived background can create significant conflict. What you have is a couple that sees the world very differently. That’s something that can present a serious barrier to happiness while trying to find a common ground with a potential lover.  Here are some things to think about while determining what lies ahead with you and in your relationship: Ask yourself these questions..... Aspirations....What are Yours? This should be obvious, but when couples are overwhelmed with the intensity of new romance, the obvious is often over-looked. Is one of you ambitious and the other laid back? A woman whose goal is to hit the upper echelons of Fortune 500 management by the age of 50 probably will not succeed with a partner whose focus is to settle down and raise a family, or remain content with what he has. Similarly, a man whose work involves long hours and lots of travel is a poor choice for a woman whose emphasis is family life, staying nearby home, and doing local things rather than wanting to see other places, experience other cultures, and view the world in person, not via what you want  to the News, the Discovery Channel, etc. What is you preferred lifestyle? Lifestyle preferences can be a source of endless conflict. Consider: his idea of entertainment is going to professional sports events, while hers is attending the theatre and ballet; she wants to live in the city, but he yearns for a home in the suburbs; he’s addicted to golf and skiing, while her idea of exercise is marathon shopping. Are these couples likely to find long-term happiness together? No, not at all......I'd rather chew nails than be with a man somewhere that I didn't want to be. Do you have sexual fireworks? This can be a real minefield. Many couples in all reality enjoy a special sort of passion in the early months of their relationship. But after a few months, one’s inherent sex drive emerges. If one member of a couple is considerably more ardent than the other, long-term compatibility is seriously threatened. Ironically, the reverse may also be a warning sign: beware the relationship in which sex is the outstanding element. Burning passion can obscure the fact that it takes more than a great sex life to make a great relationship. Sex is the easy part.....the rest of it is what makes or breaks a relationship most often. Commitment and Dedication, You Either Have it or Don't .... Inevitably, if one partner is more committed to the relationship than the other, someone is going to be hurt. Relationships are 50/50 nothing more, nothing less.....Why can men not see this? Often, timing is everything. It either works or it doesn't. You can only try so hard.....and then you just throw in the towel. Almost everyone reaches that point in life when they’re ready for a serious relationship.,,,but most often it never happens. They'll find something wrong with the next person just as they did with you. It's a known fact. Eventually relationships, or even marriage works....It’s just that it takes some longer than others to get there. Some never get there.....and to those, just know, it's not meant to be. If one of you is more ready than the other to make a commitment, proceed with caution. Like Jerry and Elaine, you might find a great friendship is a better choice than an unsuccessful romance.  In my case, I am saddened, but not because we had our differences, but because Negative Nancy took control and he just didn't want to accept change. His head was filled with "what if''s" and "doubts" ......Nothing that I could have said or did would have changed that.Some people like to remain the same, and if that's how you are, so be it. I've lived my life for everyone else my entire life, and now, the remainder, I am doing it as Frank Sinatra said "My Way"...I have a great amount of respect for my friend, and I wish him well, I even miss him..... It just wasn't our time. Perhaps our paths crossed for friendship purposes. Maybe one day in the future he'll need a woman to lean on, and if and when that day comes, I hope that he knows I'll be there for him. Sometimes we just have to accept that it is what it is and move forward to what are endless possibilities......friendships are always the best thing to have, for when all else in your life seems to fall apart....there is always that one person that you can count on to pick you back up. Other than bubble wrap, he's my best therapy! © This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie