Are you a newbie to the dating world? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? If appears that we all do more often than not. As women, to be in your 20's, 30's, 40's 50's and even in your 60's women are going with a brand new trend where popularity is growing something fierce! We all hate the whole dating game and quite frankly it gets a bit old trying to plan for an evening out when we have no idea what-so-ever how it's going to go down. So many things can go wrong and we're just tired of all the drama that tends to go along with it. It's not easy being single, then throw in the ole' "Oh hey, did I mention that I am a single mom" line and they scatter quickly. We get tired of trying things the old fashion way...church, grocery store, gas station, night clubs (even though I totally disagree with women trying to hook up with anything serious from this- just not a good idea)...so what's a gal to do? Try online dating! Hell, why not? Everyone else and their sister is doing it? So how does one get started? What can you expect?
When you are starting out you are aiming toward a relationship where dating is the reality of it all. There are some things that you absolutely must not do. Please ladies pay attention...I wrote the book on "No'No's!"
Some of these things will kill his interest before you begin getting to know him so be careful not to fall into these traps. If they don't catch up to you right away, there's still time and trust me, they will backfire on you further down the line, and put an end to everything you have built up so far. So avoid these mistakes at all costs, and just be YOU!
1. Do not lie
We all know that a few white lies seem so harmless..but are they, really? It is so tempting to tell a few, especially online where nobody can see you and you may not get caught out. But remember you are not going to get anywhere if this relationship never makes it off your computer into real life. You are hoping to meet this guy pretty soon, and most of your lies will catch up with you.
Many people lie about their age, and especially their marital status, their weight, height, job, and even what movies or foods they like, trying to make them seem more attractive to their ideal mate. The sad thing is that the more interested the guy is, and the more he likes you, the more disappointed and turned off he will be when he finds out you lied to him..and he will find out!
He may not care that you are a couple of years older than him,in fact, that might intrigue him but he WILL care that you lied. He will feel betrayed and that he cannot trust you, and he will wonder what other lies you told.
So if there is a question you don't want to answer, either ignore it or say you'll tell him when you know him better. You do not have to reveal all your secrets but there is no need to lie.
2. Do not use an old photo
Do not have a photo that is ten years old on your profile. It may attract the guy to your profile in the first place, but he will be disappointed when he meets you and finds you looking more wrinkly than he expected. It is almost as bad as finding out you lied. He may not say anything but he will feel that he has been deceived.
Instead, try to find a recent picture that still makes you look good. This may mean having one taken professionally. Do not worry about the cost - it is worth it. Think of it as an investment in your future.
3. Do not tell all too soon
There is nothing worse than boring a guy with your whole life story the moment he gets in touch with you. Learn the art of telling just a little - enough to arouse interest but not enough to satisfy it, and certainly not so much that you send him to sleep. Always leave him wanting more! A good rule of thumb here is to look at how much he wrote you and write back a little less. Answer any questions that he asked you, unless you do not want to for some reason, but answer them briefly. For example if he asks you what you do, just tell him. Do not give him your full resume or describe your whole day at work.
Most people like to talk at least as much as they like to listen. Concentrate on listening, being interested in him and asking him the same types of questions that he is asking you.
4. Do not be too eager
Generally, it is better not to contact guys first on an online dating site. Let them do most of the hunting and conquering. This will keep them interested. It also makes sure that you do not waste your time on guys who only answered your email to be polite. Oh and if they have the audacity to send you an email that says you look hot, have a nice ass, call your boobs 'tit's or anything else in that nature, drop them like a hot potato and find someone who shows you some respect!
If you see a guy's profile that you really like and you decide to contact him first, simply write him one line asking him to take a look at your profile. Then leave it to him to do that and get in touch with you if he wants to.
When a guy does contact you, do not write back too fast. Wait at least 24 hours from the time that he sent the message. Then if he writes again after a week, leave it longer the next time. Show him that if he wants to hear from you quickly, he must not keep you waiting too long. If he sounds too good to be true....guess what? He probably is...this is a RED FLAG!
Do not be the one to suggest a face to face meeting first. This is very likely to scare him away. Guys are usually very keen to meet women they are interested in so that they can get things onto a real life, physical basis. So if he doesn't suggest it, there will be a reason. He may be too busy right now, he may have lied about something, he may even be married. Forget it. Stay in touch casually by email if you want to, but keep looking for someone who does want to meet you so that you can move onto relationship dating for real...enough games, get with the program boys!
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