Crazy Little Thing Called L-O-V-E

People,...both men and women ask me often to write about certain topics...so I do. Today we're going to talk about something intense,...as the band "Queen" once sang; we're going to talk about a 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love!' Did you know that poets and authors have tried to define love for centuries, whereas scientists have only recently started trying to figure it all out... but guess what? They are all about to go on a wild goose chase! Love is nothing that is easy to describe. You can't know what it is to be, or make a list of how to be (in love) you will know it when you know it and that's all there is to it in a nutshell.

 Love is a force of nature. Some call love a form of temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then it subsides. Love is like peanut butter and jelly...you can't have one without he other. It's like the beach without the sand. (Are you getting this?) However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. Yeah, that's right, you heard me....Love is bigger than you are. You can invite love, but you cannot dictate how, when, and where love expresses itself. You can choose to surrender to love, or not, but in the end love strikes like lightening, unpredictable and irrefutable. You can even find yourself loving people you don't like at all. On the contrary to what many of you think, love does not come with conditions, stipulations, addendums, or codes. Like the sun, love radiates independently of our fears and desires.Love is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded. You cannot make someone love you, nor can you prevent it, for any amount of money.

 Many of us know intuitively that love is a major purpose for living; that connection is inherent in all that we do, and without love, we cannot survive as a species.But what is love, and how do we know when we're in it? First, let's start off with what love isn't.

What Is Love? It Definitely Isn't...

• Manipulation. "If you loved me, then you would..." isn't love, but rather infatuation.


• Compromising who you are. If someone asks you to do or say something that isn't in your nature, that isn't true love. Although love does involve compromises between partners, someone who is in love with you will never ask you to change who you are in order to be loved.


• Violent. Passions can definitely become inflamed with someone you love, but a relationship with physical or emotional violence isn't true love.
  


• Just lust. Yes, chemistry and physical attraction are important, but true love also includes commitment, trust and respect.

So then, what exactly is love?

True Love Is...

• True Love is Caring. The ancient Greeks had many different names for different forms of love: passion, virtuous, affection for the family, desire, and general affection. But no matter how love is defined, they all hold a common trait: caring.


• True Love is quite attractive,...Yes indeed. Attraction and chemistry form the bond that allows people to mate. Without this romantic desire for another individual, a relationship is nothing more than lust or infatuation.


• True Love is Attached,...Then comes much more! Like the mother-child bond, attachment comes after the initial attraction. Attachment is the long term love that appears anywhere from one to three years into a romantic relationship (sometimes sooner and very rarely after), and you'll know you've found it when you can honestly say, "I've seen the worst and the best you have to offer, and I still love you," while your partner feels the same way. Love isn't just about the good...it's about the good, the bad and the ugly. Love is always being there for the other person and knowing that they are always there for you.


• True Love is Committed. When it comes to true love, commitment is more than just monogamy. It is the knowledge that your partner cares for you and has your back, no matter what the circumstances any time day or night. People who are strongly committed to one another will, when faced with seemingly negative information about their partner, see only the positive.True love is rare and it is most definitely unconditional! So if you love this person, for goodness sakes, don't be a schmuck and screw it all up. Sometimes you only get that one chance to show them your true colors and shine, so make it matter.


• True Love is Intimate. Intimacy is a crucial component of all relationships, regardless of their nature. In order to know another, you need to share parts of yourself. This self-revealing behavior, when reciprocated, forms an emotional bond. Over time this bond strengthens and even evolves, so that two people merge closer and closer together. Intimacy by itself if is a great friendship, but compiled with the other things in this list, it forms an equation for true love.Some people just don't get it. They think love is a happy marriage. Listen, I know a lot of people that are in what looks to be 'happy marriages' and they are quite unhappy. To love someone else you must first love yourself. Once you figure out who you are and what you want, life gets a whole lot easier and more entertaining to say the least. 

  Love points out the consequences of hurting oneself or others. Love allows room for anger, or grief, or pain to be expressed and released. But love does not threaten to withhold itself if it doesn't get what it wants.Love is just love...you either have it, or you don't.

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