Free Online Dating Sites...Good or Bad?

DAY AFTER DAY women and men are looking for love, but are they looking in all the right or all the wrong places? For the past decade I have been interested and involved in getting to know how dating sites function and operate. I've researched for years why people turn to dating sites and at what ages. It seems that individuals are anywhere from 18 to 70. Many of the reasons for myself have been to try to understand what the percentage of us all have in common, and truth be told, we just want to find happiness and love. These two things are characteristics that most people search for can be a life change as well as wonderful new memories if they per chance meet. This all happens through the knowledge of websites and how people choose to use them. What's best for you? Where will you find love?Will you find love? My guess theoretically is that you have a 50/50 hot of finding a good match/partner if one takes the time to search.

In this quest for love on the Internet, is there a place for romance? Possibly... There are so many free online dating services these days that it is hard to know how to find the best ones. You can waste a lot of time on a site that turns out to be full of tire kickers or people who are not honest. Sure, is the same as the personal ads in print, with many more benefits and options. It is always a blind race but at least you get to check every day, how many people saw your profile, you get instant messages and replies to your messages are instantaneous. The advantage is simply that it is faster and more convenient to make a successful meeting. Finding the best site will benefit you in the long run, so take your time and do your own investigative work to decide which are your best options.Don't settle for less than you deserve.

The main risk with a free dating site is that the members tend not to be so serious as like those on paid sites:

  This is not surprising when you think about it.Get smart here guys and gals, and think about it, really...Imagine a guy who is just looking to pass some time at work by emailing a few pretty girls. He may be married, he may be in another country, or he may just not want the commitment of having a real relationship. People like that will waste a lot of your time and you are likely to find many of them on the free sites. Not to mention, in most cases they are cheap dates and really don't care to find a relationship nor love so they figure "why invest in it?" the bottom line is that these people are not likely to pay out good money just to amuse themselves sending emails to women they do not want to meet. Of course you get the same thing the other way around and there will be women who just want to amuse themselves this way too.

Nonetheless, at the same time, there are plenty of genuine people who simply do not have the money to be a member of a paid dating site, or who want to meet a lot of people so they are members of many sites. So when you find a new online dating free site, how do you know if the members are serious?

The simple answer is to look through the profiles before you join, check them out and get a good feel for them before you decide construct your own profile. better yet, ask around! You would probably do this anyway in that you would look at the profiles of the opposite gender to see if they have the type of person that would interest you. In today's society people are following leads and looking for love everywhere. If you haven't guessed yet there are many other places to look as well, but that will have to come about in yet another blog....

Sooo, should you do more? YES! My non-professional advice? You should also look at the profiles of other women (if you are a woman). These are the women who attracted the current men members to join the site. Are they like you? Are they looking for the same kind of relationship as you? The better you fit into this existing community, the more likely it is that you will find Mr. Right on the site.

What About The Site Owner

Another thing that you should consider when joining a free site is: what is the site owner getting out of it? You may not think this is your concern, but in fact it can be a real threat to your security. Is the site owner responsible or just some fly by night operator that is looking to make fast cash? If it's not the cash, then what is the motivation? In my recent search, these are the answers that I found.

Owners of free websites usually have one or more of these motivations:

1. Advertisers pay them to run advertisements on the site. The site covers its costs and more this way. 
2. Occasionally, you may find a site that is run simply with the purpose of putting people in touch with each other, with no attempt to make money. These sites are often for people of a particular religious or social group and may be run by a non profit organization.
3. The site owner may make money from spin-off products or services. For example, they may sell an ebook about how to write the perfect online dating profile.
4. The site owner may make money from selling your personal details (email, telephone etc) to marketing companies or paid dating sites who will send you advertising materials.
5. Worst case scenario - the site may be fishing for your personal details for identity theft. This is very uncommon but you should be aware it is a possibility. Be suspicious if they ask for information that they cannot possibly need, such as your credit card or bank details.

As a rule, all you should have to give the site is your email, and you can use a free email address so that you do not get a lot of spam. Genuine free online dating services do not need to know your financial information. Never give out personal information until you find this to be quite legit. My best advice? Do a lot of research in a company before you sign up for something. It's always better to be safe, than sorry.

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Online Dating Tips for Newbies...

Are you a newbie to the dating world? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? If appears that we all do more often than not. As women, to be in your 20's, 30's, 40's 50's and even in your 60's women are going with a brand new trend where popularity is growing something fierce! We all hate the whole dating game and quite frankly it gets a bit old trying to plan for an evening out when we have no idea what-so-ever how it's going to go down. So many things can go wrong and we're just tired of all the drama that tends to go along with it. It's not easy being single, then throw in the ole' "Oh hey, did I mention that I am a single mom" line and they scatter quickly. We get tired of trying things the old fashion way...church, grocery store, gas station, night clubs (even though I totally disagree with women trying to hook up with anything serious from this- just not a good idea)...so what's a gal to do? Try online dating! Hell, why not? Everyone else and their sister is doing it? So how does one get started? What can you expect?

 When you are starting out you are aiming toward a relationship where dating is the reality of it all. There are some things that you absolutely must not do. Please ladies pay attention...I wrote the book on "No'No's!"

 Some of these things will kill his interest before you begin getting to know him so be careful not to fall into these traps. If they don't catch up to you right away, there's still time and trust me, they will backfire on you further down the line, and put an end to everything you have built up so far. So avoid these mistakes at all costs, and just be YOU!

1. Do not lie

We all know that a few white lies seem so harmless..but are they, really? It is so tempting to tell a few, especially online where nobody can see you and you may not get caught out. But remember you are not going to get anywhere if this relationship never makes it off your computer into real life. You are hoping to meet this guy pretty soon, and most of your lies will catch up with you.

Many people lie about their age, and especially their marital status, their weight, height, job, and even what movies or foods they like, trying to make them seem more attractive to their ideal mate. The sad thing is that the more interested the guy is, and the more he likes you, the more disappointed and turned off he will be when he finds out you lied to him..and he will find out!

He may not care that you are a couple of years older than him,in fact, that might intrigue him but he WILL care that you lied. He will feel betrayed and that he cannot trust you, and he will wonder what other lies you told.

So if there is a question you don't want to answer, either ignore it or say you'll tell him when you know him better. You do not have to reveal all your secrets but there is no need to lie.

2. Do not use an old photo

Do not have a photo that is ten years old on your profile. It may attract the guy to your profile in the first place, but he will be disappointed when he meets you and finds you looking more wrinkly than he expected. It is almost as bad as finding out you lied. He may not say anything but he will feel that he has been deceived.

Instead, try to find a recent picture that still makes you look good. This may mean having one taken professionally. Do not worry about the cost - it is worth it. Think of it as an investment in your future.

3. Do not tell all too soon

There is nothing worse than boring a guy with your whole life story the moment he gets in touch with you. Learn the art of telling just a little - enough to arouse interest but not enough to satisfy it, and certainly not so much that you send him to sleep. Always leave him wanting more! A good rule of thumb here is to look at how much he wrote you and write back a little less. Answer any questions that he asked you, unless you do not want to for some reason, but answer them briefly. For example if he asks you what you do, just tell him. Do not give him your full resume or describe your whole day at work.

Most people like to talk at least as much as they like to listen. Concentrate on listening, being interested in him and asking him the same types of questions that he is asking you. 

4. Do not be too eager

Generally, it is better not to contact guys first on an online dating site. Let them do most of the hunting and conquering. This will keep them interested. It also makes sure that you do not waste your time on guys who only answered your email to be polite. Oh and if they have the audacity to send you an email that says you look hot, have a nice ass, call your boobs 'tit's or anything else in that nature, drop them like a hot potato and find someone who shows you some respect!

If you see a guy's profile that you really like and you decide to contact him first, simply write him one line asking him to take a look at your profile. Then leave it to him to do that and get in touch with you if he wants to.

When a guy does contact you, do not write back too fast. Wait at least 24 hours from the time that he sent the message. Then if he writes again after a week, leave it longer the next time. Show him that if he wants to hear from you quickly, he must not keep you waiting too long. If he sounds too good to be true....guess what? He probably is...this is a RED FLAG!

Do not be the one to suggest a face to face meeting first. This is very likely to scare him away. Guys are usually very keen to meet women they are interested in so that they can get things onto a real life, physical basis. So if he doesn't suggest it, there will be a reason. He may be too busy right now, he may have lied about something, he may even be married. Forget it. Stay in touch casually by email if you want to, but keep looking for someone who does want to meet you so that you can move onto relationship dating for real...enough games, get with the program boys!

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Is it LOVE? How Will I know...

If you're wondering if he really loves you, your next question should be: Why are you asking? Is there a nagging feeling inside that makes you doubt his true feelings? Don't be too quick to want love...let it flow natural and come to you. Sometimes we women are in too big of a hurry to hear those magical words "I Love You"...but why? The answer is important because no matter how many times a man says those words, you have to take the time to reflect on whether you're feeling the emotion behind them. Listen, I know men and saying that they love someone doesn't come easy...so when they do say it to you ladies, don't be a schmuck and ruin the moment!

Lets face the facts, men and women are programmed a little different. This means that you should look at your relationship at a different angle. Men and women have a different language.
Men will show affection by doing things for you. Women are more of the verbal creatures. When there is not enough conversation going on in a relationship, it often makes the woman feel like she is not loved.Women are always wondering if their man really loves them. Women strive to find out by asking friends and making constant judgments about how their man feels.

Then the question of the day as Whitney Houston not so long ago sang is "How Will I know If He Really Loves Me?" Quite honestly, much energy and time is spent wondering that many of these women have trouble enjoying their relationship. I have come up with some tips on how you can identify the signs that a man really loves you. He has eyes only for you. You can tell if your man really loves you when many beautiful and sexy women surround you but he doesn't take a second to even stare at any of them. He gives you his full attention by showing eye contact and facing his body towards you. He calls you frequently. Hello? What else do you need? Ok, you want more...here you go...

 He wants to go places and do things. The relationship is not all about sex. He wants to explore the world with you and do fun activities. He spends money on you. He invests not only emotionally but also financially. You are a special and serious person in his life. Money means no object when it comes to you. His mission is not only for a role in the hay but to make you feel happy.He shows good manners. He wants to impress you and win your heart just as you have won his heart.He wants to date only you. Now, that may not mean that he is totally head over heels for you...BUT it says that he cares enough to get to know you much more and doesn't want to see other women!(take this as a sign ladies.) Do you still need more? 

Here are 3 ways to help you know if he truly does love you:

1. He makes you feel special. This is one of the most important ingredients in any love relationship. There are hundreds of things that the man you're with can do to show you you're the special woman in his life. It may be how he pays attention to your feelings and shows concern for your well being; or his willingness to go out of his way to do something that will make you happy. It's a sense that he has chosen you to be the most important person in his life. Feeling special to a man is just that, a feeling. You either feel it with him or you don't.
2. He doesn't try to change you. This is KEY! So pay attention closely...no man should ever try to change a woman, and vica versa. This doesn't always show up in the early honeymoon phase of a relationship. A man, when he's unsure about his feelings for you, will begin to find things he wants to change about you. But love and judgment can't occupy the same space. Trying to get someone to behave the way you want them to leaves little room for love. If you're not "living up" to his expectations of you then you're not the person he's looking for. He can't change you into the woman he wants and you don't need to be fixed. If a man appreciates the totality of who you are and enjoys finding out more and more about you as time goes by, that's really honest to good true love!
3. He trusts you with his feelings. Without intimacy there is no love. Intimacy is the ability to let someone see that part of you that you don't share with the world. It's one of the primary needs that a strong love relationship fulfills. We all crave having a special someone with whom we can safely share some of our most secret thoughts and feelings. Women are more practiced at this then men and it comes easier to us. But men need a woman they can open up to -- and not be judged as weak or wrong. A man needs to open up to you and share that part of himself that no one else sees, that gives love depth and meaning.

Happy couples are not at all hard to spot...why? Just look at them, it shows in the smiles, their touche, their embrace, and they're body language!

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