3 Ways to Improve Your Self Esteem

Women's identities certainly have gotten a bad rap lately. We are told that women think badly of themselves, and they have no self-confidence. Did you know that if you Google "women and self-esteem" you'll get over 7 million hits, most of them websites on the problems of women's self-esteem or how to boost women's self-esteem. Yeppers...isn't that amazing? We all know that women's identities are fragile and conflicted: at work we feel like frauds and at home we feel worthless.Why is this? The stifling opinions, personalities and interests pretend to be what they think boys want them to be.

 Here's how to improve. Did you know that your self-esteem is to take conscious control of your self-talk. Negative self-talk is the prime cause for creating and maintaining negative self esteem. The things you say to yourself in your mind, as well as the meaning you attribute to events in your life, combine to create the reality you end up live. Most people's self-talk is roughly 95% negative. They see the worst in themselves and in everything that happens. Putting a stop to such self-destructive thinking is vital. It is our thoughts and expectations that shape and produce what we become. The quality of our lives is a direct result of them.

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.

We are all individuals with different qualities and none of us are alike. Actually, none of us were meant to be the same. We start out life with different genes. We don't have the same values, desires, ambitions or dreams as other people. Would you really want to? So there is no point in comparing ourself against another person and judging our value on that basis.

Take for example a person who feels badly because he cannot afford to buy his wife that diamond watch she desires so badly for her birthday, like her best friend's husband did. He's not even thinking about whether his wife actually wants this watch. Maybe he and his wife have chosen to spend their money on creating a beautiful home instead. Or maybe the wife knows that her best friend's husband is unfaithful and it's guilt that's making him appear so generous. She values other qualities in her own husband. There are several reasons that cause you to compare yourself to other people around you, but stop beating yourself up already!

If there is any comparison to be made, it is just a question of comparing yourself with yourself!

2. Use empowering words when talking to yourself.

Try to avoid words like can't, should and must in your self talk. Talk to yourself as 'I' instead of 'you' and try to keep things positive. So for example, if you catch yourself saying to yourself, "You must improve your self esteem," immediately change it to, "I can improve my self esteem by following these tips."

3. Speak to others in an empowering way too.

People with low self esteem often have a hard time giving positive criticism to others. When people do something that we don't like, we tend to be afraid of the consequences of telling them. So we don't say anything right away. Instead we bottle up our feelings until they explode in an angry attack on the person.

You can use the same empowering words with others that you will use with yourself. Be good to yourself and stay focused and positive. Never think that you 'can't do something...you CAN do it! Your confidence is going to improve if you are having problems with it, fear not,...we'll get you back on the right track soon!  There are many effective ways to remedy low self esteem. However, the key to success in life is to recognize the existence of the problem in the first place! Therefore, consider where self esteem issues may be lurking in your life, but manifesting as apparently external problems. The key attitude for success in life is to take total responsibility for what happens to us. We must work upon ourselves continually in order to manifest what we want. Creating high self esteem is one of the best things you can ever do to totally transform every aspect of your life. 

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