Thursday, July 26, 2012

When is Enough... Enough with Child Beauty Pageants?

I'm sure that I am going to get a lot of crap from this article but you know what? I was raised to speak my mind, tell it like it is, voice my opinion and I certainly do march to the beat of my own drum so here it goes. How wrong do I think it is to enter your child in a beauty pageant at a young age? This is strictly my own personal opinion, but I am sure that others will stand up to defend me. I think it is 150% wrong, unethical and down right horrible. Child pageants get a lot of bad press, and most of it is warranted in my own personal opinion. The day of the pageant, the child has to spend time in a chair for hair and makeup. Tanning is often involved...hello skin cancer? Listen, these are kids, not to mention the cost that comes along in the wardrobe for something like this. Childen's pageants can be very expensive, and the entry fee is just the tip of the iceberg. Parents say that a pageant girl usually learns to be comfortable in front of strangers, giving her self-confidence a big boost. How about you the parent lift her up day in and day out and give her confidence? Many of these children state that they feel like princesses when they're in their pageant attire and are at the center of attention. Isn't that our job as parents to give our children all the attention necessary to boost their confidence level and to always make them feel like our little princesses? Give me a break.

A few weeks ago I was flipping channels. I sat down and watched an interesting show on the Oxygen Network.  Usually I don’t watch that station as I am a HGTV and Food Network gal, but this caught my eye; it was a beauty pageant with children between the ages of 4-to 8-years-old.
My eyes instantly became glued to this show, not because of the beauty; instead, by the deep insanity of it all.  Shocked and sickened, is the best way to describe how I felt watching this show.  I mean, mothers were spending their life savings to get these girls into these pageants and turning into slave drivers. I watched as these flawless children, got dolled up in gobs of make-up to cover up their imperfections. Seriously, how many imperfections can a four-year-old have? Make-up, hair extensions, teased hairstyles, clouds of hairspray, flippers (fake teeth), sophisticated costumes, screaming crowds (mostly the mothers), weird postures, twitched face expressions, tiaras, trophies, money and more or less talent are the ingredients for the usual children beauty pageants, along with exercised smiles and hysterical crying and outbursts.

  In today’s society, especially with women, looks and beauty seem to be a major concern for them.  It isn’t uncommon to hear a story where a woman develops an eating disorder because she wants to be skinny and beautiful as the women are in the magazines.  Now, force a child to be beautiful at the influential age of four.  As they grow up and change, they may not have the same looks they did when they won the pageants back when they were little girls.  They may have gained weight or a feature has changed dramatically, at least to them.  When they look in the mirror they may not like what they see, despite the fact they are still absolutely gorgeous.  This is all due to the strict guidelines they had to follow while growing up.

Do these pageants bring out the “witch” in these children?  Well, hearing these mother’s talk to their children, you would swear that everyone else is dirt and their child or recipient of the praise is perfect.  This does not help a child’s demeanor one bit.  It helps with the attitude to make their child feel like they are a winner and be proud, but that message stays in their heads and can easily continue to run even when they aren’t on stage.  That means that sense of “I’m the best” will transpose itself into their school and other social gathering places.  In my opinion, this will do one or two things.  For one, it will turn them into the popular, stuck-up girl on campus that all the other girls want to be and will do anything to be friends with.  Or, it will do the complete opposite and drive people away from them, which can lead to other major mental issues down the line.

Listen, I'm not in any way trying to act like the 'perfect' mother. I've made my share of mistakes, we all do. Forgive me here for a moment as I do run lingerie business and I do very much support elegance and beauty.... but I support it in women who want to enter these pageants at a legal age. I do not support 2 and 4 and 8 year old boys and girls and ages on up to be taunted and pushed by who else but their parents to win, win win! Really? Is this about them learning to fail or succeed or is the paycheck going into your account to satisfy YOUR needs and the hell with what they need?

What is your problem people? These are little kids here. Let them ride their bikes and play barbies for God sakes. Take them to Disney World not across the country to be humiliated by hundreds and thousands of people who feel the same way that I do. What are you doing? Is this all about the child learning to be positive and independent and allowing them to make their own way? My guess is NO. My guess is that you are living your pathetic childhood through none other than your child/children because you don't like how your life turned out and you have insecurities. The hard core facts here are that most mothers of these children are usually trying to live their own dreams through their young daughters. I am talking about dreams that they either could not accomplish or have accomplished in such way that they’ve become a way of life. Playing dress-up with your daughter can be great, but why are you transforming it into a full-time job that really only benefits you?

Your children are just kids, and they need to do all of the fun things that kids do, and by that I do not mean waking up at the crack of dawn to learn the dance moves to a song that talks about sex and erotic behavior. Some of these little girls danced like they belonged in a strip club. These children don't know the true meanings of these lyrics and by the looks of it, obviously,... neither do you...and you call yourself a parent? While watching this show I saw beautiful little girls with more makeup on their faces than I wear in a year. Poise, beauty, elegance? Let them dress up like I used to by wearing my mothers jewelry and stilettos around the house and having tea parties with their dolls. As for these crazy pageants...let them do this in their later teens as they mature into young adults, not now. Don't you see that you are stripping them of their adolescence? Do you even care? Let your children be children, and let them grown up and follow their dreams not YOURS!



www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com



9 comments:

  1. Michele, you nailed it. kids need to be kids. They are being stripped of their childhood. So wrong, so so wrong.

    Tanisha W
    Chicago IL

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  2. Our children should be the center of our universe, not thousands of others watching as they strut their stuff on a stage with hot lights and raunchy music. They parents shouldn't be parents. Enough said. Kudos to you!

    Rita H
    Sandusky Ohio

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  3. Every time I read about these children beauty pageants or see them on television it makes me want to cry and throw up. I am not yet a parent and I am sad for these children. My mother pushed me to my limits as a child years ago entering me into every pageant under the sun. I did not get to play barbies, and I was never a girl scout, a cheerleader or a prom queen. My mother said there was no time for that stuff.

    I learned to eat very little and exercise all day. I tanned, took pills to not get pimples and was given laxatives to lose what I ate and not gain weight. This started at age 4 and I did this until age 18. I hated my life. Guess what? 3 years ago I tried to take my own life. I thought if I was not on stage anymore that I was a nobody. Thanks Mother for stripping me of my childhood and everything I lost out on at the risk of you living your dream.All I ever wanted to be was ME!

    Ms Michele, this article was brilliant and I commend you for standing your ground. It sounds like you are a great mother. Your kids are blessed to have you.

    Deanna
    San Fran, CA

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    Replies
    1. Dear Deanna, I am truly at a loss for words. That rarely happens. Thank you so much for sharing this with me and my viewers. The courage that it must have taken to write what you did is simply incredible. I'm sorry that you missed out on so many things and I am even more sorry that while you were hurting and reaching out for help, no one was there to catch you when you fell. Life is fragile, but life is good. Your life has meaning young lady. God kept you here for a reason. Teach others what you've learned from this experience. Perhaps your influence will prevent another young girl from feeling like you did. I'm so happy that you are alive today. That is reason to celebrate! Now is your chance to be YOU! Enjoy it,embrace it, and know that you are loved. In closing, please Deanna allow me to say "Thank You" for your nice comments to me regarding the choice I had in writing this article. I am so very grateful that you responded. Please keep in touch!

      ~Regards,
      Michele Savin

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  4. I wonder if anyone would have had the courage to step up to the plate and write what you did? Amazing. I agree with you 100%. My sister enters her girls in these pageants and my husband and I worry about the kids. They don't play or swim, or make sandcastles at the beach. They tan so that they look pretty for the next pageant. Your article was well liked today at our house and I do intend on forwarding it to my sister.
    Kids should be kids. They have the rest of their lives in this crazy world to learn how to be adults.

    Evelyn Y
    Concord, New England

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  5. Michele, I read this article and I cried. It is so sad to know that there are so many parent in this world that push, push and continue to push their kids to be the best. Life is not about being the best all the time, it's about being the best that you can be and liking who you are. These kids are going to have fried brains by the time they are early teens and it will all go sour just wait and see. You article was beautiful and I support you and your thoughts.

    Mary T
    Piedmont SD

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  6. Miss. I don't know where you gather your information however, might I speak up as one of those parent and say that you are wrong. We want our kids to have the best and be the best. For all that we do for them, we deserve to have children that we can be proud of day in and day out. We demand more from our kids.You brag about yours all the time, I wonder just how they really turned out?

    Emma G
    Bowie MD

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    1. Dear Emma, Although I certainly appreciate you taking the time to write to me I pondered what to say to you for a brief moment and then wondered to myself..."Why is this woman writing to me when she could be/should be spending time with her daughter?" I'm certainly no professional here nonetheless, and my guess is Emma that you don't really know how to be a mother. Please do not misconstrue what I say by what I mean. My thoughts are that somewhere along the line you were pushed. My guess is that all you probably know how to do is push your child towards excellence. "New Flash" dear woman,there is more to life than beauty pageants,or winning the Spelling B,or making Prom Queen. Our children are the most important things in our life. Be a real parent and teach them right from wrong,teach them how whether or not they win or they lose they are still loved,and that life isn't always about competition. Instead you teach them how to sashay down the catwalk with a fictitious smile. Little girls need love, support and guidance. They need to have morals and ethics both personally and professionally as the mature. Be the mother that your daughter needs you to be. Spend quality time with your daughter while she is young otherwise the "Cats in the Cradle" song will come back to bite you. Our children turn out as a reflection of who we are, and since you had to add your two cents about my children (both of whom which you do not know) allow me to say this; They turned out wonderful. They are smart and business savvy and good. They are educated and most of all I taught them to respect not only themselves but others as well. As a single mother I have no regrets. My kids may not have had what a lot of other kids did, but they had enough, and we had each other. Based on what society suggests, I did a pretty damn good job raising my children, both whom I allowed opportunity for them to be KIDS, to have fun and enjoy life! In closing, you should be proud of your children day in and day out just because they are who they are, nothing more, nothing less.

      ~Regards,
      Michele Savin

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  7. My mother pushed me to be a child beauty queen for several years. By the time I got to high school I had no friends, no nothing. I had a room full of plaques and trophies to show that I was the best.

    Tell me MssDelicious,why do parents push their kids so hard? All I ever wanted was to play with my friends and to go to school and ride the bus home, sleep in on weekends and get ice cream from the ice cream man that drove his truck through our neighborhood. That was not permitted, too many calories! I didn't know what a rocket pop was until in a gas station one day the attendant gave me one while my mom was in the bathroom. It was so good., and at that point, I wondered "What else have I missed out on?"

    Today I am married to a great man and I am 33 years old and I have a little girl. Her name is Jenna. She does all the things that 4 year old little girls should and could do and she loves it. We love just watching her. I would never sacrifice my daughters well being for my own like my mother did to me. If you are reading this and you were a young beauty pageant kid, don't do it to your child now. Let them live for heaven sakes...let them enjoy life and love them for who they are!

    Jenna L
    Elko, NV

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