Online Dating Tips for Newbies...

Are you a newbie to the dating world? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? If appears that we all do more often than not. As women, to be in your 20's, 30's, 40's 50's and even in your 60's women are going with a brand new trend where popularity is growing something fierce! We all hate the whole dating game and quite frankly it gets a bit old trying to plan for an evening out when we have no idea what-so-ever how it's going to go down. So many things can go wrong and we're just tired of all the drama that tends to go along with it. It's not easy being single, then throw in the ole' "Oh hey, did I mention that I am a single mom" line and they scatter quickly. We get tired of trying things the old fashion way...church, grocery store, gas station, night clubs (even though I totally disagree with women trying to hook up with anything serious from this- just not a good idea)...so what's a gal to do? Try online dating! Hell, why not? Everyone else and their sister is doing it? So how does one get started? What can you expect?

 When you are starting out you are aiming toward a relationship where dating is the reality of it all. There are some things that you absolutely must not do. Please ladies pay attention...I wrote the book on "No'No's!"

 Some of these things will kill his interest before you begin getting to know him so be careful not to fall into these traps. If they don't catch up to you right away, there's still time and trust me, they will backfire on you further down the line, and put an end to everything you have built up so far. So avoid these mistakes at all costs, and just be YOU!

1. Do not lie

We all know that a few white lies seem so harmless..but are they, really? It is so tempting to tell a few, especially online where nobody can see you and you may not get caught out. But remember you are not going to get anywhere if this relationship never makes it off your computer into real life. You are hoping to meet this guy pretty soon, and most of your lies will catch up with you.

Many people lie about their age, and especially their marital status, their weight, height, job, and even what movies or foods they like, trying to make them seem more attractive to their ideal mate. The sad thing is that the more interested the guy is, and the more he likes you, the more disappointed and turned off he will be when he finds out you lied to him..and he will find out!

He may not care that you are a couple of years older than him,in fact, that might intrigue him but he WILL care that you lied. He will feel betrayed and that he cannot trust you, and he will wonder what other lies you told.

So if there is a question you don't want to answer, either ignore it or say you'll tell him when you know him better. You do not have to reveal all your secrets but there is no need to lie.

2. Do not use an old photo

Do not have a photo that is ten years old on your profile. It may attract the guy to your profile in the first place, but he will be disappointed when he meets you and finds you looking more wrinkly than he expected. It is almost as bad as finding out you lied. He may not say anything but he will feel that he has been deceived.

Instead, try to find a recent picture that still makes you look good. This may mean having one taken professionally. Do not worry about the cost - it is worth it. Think of it as an investment in your future.

3. Do not tell all too soon

There is nothing worse than boring a guy with your whole life story the moment he gets in touch with you. Learn the art of telling just a little - enough to arouse interest but not enough to satisfy it, and certainly not so much that you send him to sleep. Always leave him wanting more! A good rule of thumb here is to look at how much he wrote you and write back a little less. Answer any questions that he asked you, unless you do not want to for some reason, but answer them briefly. For example if he asks you what you do, just tell him. Do not give him your full resume or describe your whole day at work.

Most people like to talk at least as much as they like to listen. Concentrate on listening, being interested in him and asking him the same types of questions that he is asking you. 

4. Do not be too eager

Generally, it is better not to contact guys first on an online dating site. Let them do most of the hunting and conquering. This will keep them interested. It also makes sure that you do not waste your time on guys who only answered your email to be polite. Oh and if they have the audacity to send you an email that says you look hot, have a nice ass, call your boobs 'tit's or anything else in that nature, drop them like a hot potato and find someone who shows you some respect!

If you see a guy's profile that you really like and you decide to contact him first, simply write him one line asking him to take a look at your profile. Then leave it to him to do that and get in touch with you if he wants to.

When a guy does contact you, do not write back too fast. Wait at least 24 hours from the time that he sent the message. Then if he writes again after a week, leave it longer the next time. Show him that if he wants to hear from you quickly, he must not keep you waiting too long. If he sounds too good to be true....guess what? He probably is...this is a RED FLAG!

Do not be the one to suggest a face to face meeting first. This is very likely to scare him away. Guys are usually very keen to meet women they are interested in so that they can get things onto a real life, physical basis. So if he doesn't suggest it, there will be a reason. He may be too busy right now, he may have lied about something, he may even be married. Forget it. Stay in touch casually by email if you want to, but keep looking for someone who does want to meet you so that you can move onto relationship dating for real...enough games, get with the program boys!

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Dating over 50

A few years ago when I divorced and found myself starting over, I thought I was too old to date. I was 34 when my divorce was final and I had two young teenagers. They didn't approve of any man that I went out with, because he wasn't their father. No one would take his place. In their young minds, I ruined our family. Although they had no idea how my marriage went from "Point A to Point B." I filed for the Big "D" and I was the cause of this mess. Pay backs were hell. They made my dating life miserable, and oh they sabotaged so many dates. Those kids....lucky for me, saved me from  a lot of disasters. Today, I am grateful that they stepped in, for had they not, I might not be where I am today. Business savvy, more independent, and a woman on a mission to find my destiny. I've learned that age is just a number. It's not how old you are, rather, how you've grown gracefully in life that determines your future.

Who in their right mind would want a woman with baggage? My thoughts were, my kids are not baggage. I laid down the law and stated that if a man loved me, he would also have to accept my children for whom ever they are. I felt like we went from a happy family with life by the balls, to a woman lost with two kids that needed her more than ever. Oh I tried to date, it just didn't work out. Most of the men were divorced, some with no kids,... they had NO concept of what it was like to be a parent, and they didn't understand that plans change at the blink of an eye when your kids need you. For years, I thought that I was too old to do the online dating thing...boy was I wrong.

I tried it, and since have learned a lot a about it. You can say I've done my homework. My advice: Don't give all your energy to one person in online dating. If the person does not turn out to be what you want, so what? You met a new person, practiced your conversation skills, and learned more about what you want in a partner. Whether you are 18 or 70, the best way to enjoy a first date is to keep an open mind, focus on the things you have in common, and make your primary goal to simply have a good time.

Then I thought that anyone over 50 couldn't find a date. (Please, if you will, and before you get mad if you are 50+ as you're reading this) understand,....I had no idea that one could find true love at a later stage of their life. In January, I'll turn 50. Dating older women is one of the best aspects of dating at any age. If you are 50+, or 60+ and just starting to date again after a few years or a few decades, however, the uncertainty about where to go, what to wear, and what to talk about can seem almost insurmountable. Don't sweat the small stuff. Take baby steps.

Before the first date, you wonder whether your date will like you, (personally this is a questions we ask at any age) whether you’ll like single older women and how much dating etiquette has changed since the last time you were out there. While there are no absolutes when it comes to senior dating, there are a few tried and true strategies that may help calm your nerves and increase your chances for a successful first date. If you plan to have activities on your first date, make it lunch and combine it with some fun activity so you have more things to talk about while you eat. Dinner sometimes implies more intimacy than you may be ready for on a first date, and having the whole date depend on senior women sitting across from each other and making conversation can create a lot of pressure. If the whole idea of senior dating makes you nervous, consider making your first date a group date with women over 50, or participating in a group activity such as senior travel.

Be smart, and by all means, please be safe, and have an exit strategy. Make certain that you always tell a close friend where you are going, and with whom. Do a background check if it makes you feel better...On most singles sites,  you are going out with people you really don't know well, so stick to public places and tell someone you trust who you are meeting and where you will be. If you start to feel uneasy about the person you are with, then leave. If your gut tells you something doesn't seem right, "Good Lord, listen to your gut!"

 Romance is still alive in our hearts....so enjoy your life. It's a very precious thing, and there is no age limit set for falling in love. If you are fortunate like I am, you'll find 'the' man when the time is right. He may not be perfect, or a perfect '10' but if you are lucky enough to have a groovy kind of love, that's all that really matters....

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