Raising Our Children with Ethics, Morals and Values

How we raise our children speaks volume about who we are as parents. How our children act on our teachings as adults is strictly up to them. I believe that when you show love in your household and teach your children ethics, morals and values, it makes them a better person. I believe that we pave the road for our children and their future by raising them with the basic and loving fundamentals that we were taught. No, we are not perfect parents, nor can we make our children turn out perfect young adults, but we can guide them and kick them in the ass when they take a wrong turn. (just kidding)

I was raised with love and kindness and that is how I raised my children. I had the luxury of not only being raised by two wonderful parents, rather 4 grandparents and one great grandmother. That's 7 fantastic people that influenced my life. My children had two parents, 4 grandparents and 3 great grandparents. Am I proud of them today? You betcha I am. They have never shown me disrespect and they always took my advice whether they wanted to hear what I had to say or not. I think somewhere deep inside, even if they were not happy at times with what I had to say, they knew that 'ole mom had a good head on her shoulders!' 

Here’s a story to share with you. When I am not trying to be the best aunt, daughter, friend mom and sister I can be, when I am not out saving relationships, or pinning my blogs, DIY projects or recipes on Pinterest…when I am not tweeting about sales at my stores, making new friends on Facebook or trying to make it big in the panty world, I also work a part time job in sales with a group of young ladies that are quite special to me. I call them my very own “Fab 5” and the old boys of Michigan U of M don’t have anything on these ladies! They are my superheroes. These women give me hope, encouragement and a reason to keep on blogging and selling lingerie. They are my cheerleaders and they motivate me! Let me not forget someone else, lets call her Jordache,who is no longer working with us but remains dear to me and I miss her and her funny stories.

Oh how I love when these women come to work and tell me about their lives,... and by now they all know that they should really watch what they say as their conversations are the best blogging materials for new articles. 

Often, I wake up knowing what I want to write about, and other days, I have to ponder it a bit. Or, I go into work and one of the gals tell me about something that happened that makes me want to share it with all of you. Here’s my story about raising your child with morals. Last week, one of these gals came in and told me that she was asked to prom. It wasn’t just any invite, it was what every young lady could ever probably wish for and not just for some formal dance, but to her senior prom. This young lady wanted an invite to her prom. She had the perfect dress picked out and all that she needed was to be asked. Oh, she got invited, but allow me to share with you the thought that this young man put into his invitation; and to all of you other young men, do take notes: 

He started by putting a teddy bear and a note in her car at the end of the day last week. The note said “when you get home, go to your front door” so she did…and at her front door was a bouquet of roses along with a note that said; “arrange these in order and call this number.” She did just that and when she put them it order it spelled the word ‘PROM!’ She then called the number left with the note. This young man told her “do not give him her answer yet, he said "I’d like to hear it in person.” Then he told her to go to her front door…so she did. There he was this handsome young man standing on her porch. It was then that he asked her to go to the high school prom with him. 

This young man made a real impression and my guess is that he is already loved by her family. He opens doors for her, walks her to her door, and treats her very much like a lady in every sense of the word. He is good to his siblings and loves his mom. When the topic of dating and relationships came up, she told him that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. He told her that it was all right and that he would wait because she was worth waiting for! Oh, and PS) she said 'YES!' 

KUDOS to the parents who raised such a fine young man and double kudos to this young ladies parents who taught their daughter how to love, be kind to others, to have standards and to never settle. Two kids raised by two separate families who both were loved and nurtured. They have much respect for themselves and for others. This comes from yet how they were raised and the morals and ethics as parents that we instilled.

I get chills when I hear stories like this because in society today, there are far too many children that just don’t get it. Teach your kids to be kind and not mean. Keep your children close and regardless of if they stay, or stray, always know that you gave them all the love that you could, and just pray that someday they see the picture a little bit more clearly! Raising children is not easy! The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open. 

When is Enough... Enough with Child Beauty Pageants?

I'm sure that I am going to get a lot of crap from this article but you know what? I was raised to speak my mind, tell it like it is, voice my opinion and I certainly do march to the beat of my own drum so here it goes. How wrong do I think it is to enter your child in a beauty pageant at a young age? This is strictly my own personal opinion, but I am sure that others will stand up to defend me. I think it is 150% wrong, unethical and down right horrible. Child pageants get a lot of bad press, and most of it is warranted in my own personal opinion. The day of the pageant, the child has to spend time in a chair for hair and makeup. Tanning is often involved...hello skin cancer? Listen, these are kids, not to mention the cost that comes along in the wardrobe for something like this. Childen's pageants can be very expensive, and the entry fee is just the tip of the iceberg. Parents say that a pageant girl usually learns to be comfortable in front of strangers, giving her self-confidence a big boost. How about you the parent lift her up day in and day out and give her confidence? Many of these children state that they feel like princesses when they're in their pageant attire and are at the center of attention. Isn't that our job as parents to give our children all the attention necessary to boost their confidence level and to always make them feel like our little princesses? Give me a break.

A few weeks ago I was flipping channels. I sat down and watched an interesting show on the Oxygen Network.  Usually I don’t watch that station as I am a HGTV and Food Network gal, but this caught my eye; it was a beauty pageant with children between the ages of 4-to 8-years-old.

My eyes instantly became glued to this show, not because of the beauty; instead, by the deep insanity of it all.  Shocked and sickened, is the best way to describe how I felt watching this show.  I mean, mothers were spending their life savings to get these girls into these pageants and turning into slave drivers. I watched as these flawless children, got dolled up in gobs of make-up to cover up their imperfections. Seriously, how many imperfections can a four-year-old have? Make-up, hair extensions, teased hairstyles, clouds of hairspray, flippers (fake teeth), sophisticated costumes, screaming crowds (mostly the mothers), weird postures, twitched face expressions, tiaras, trophies, money and more or less talent are the ingredients for the usual children beauty pageants, along with exercised smiles and hysterical crying and outbursts.

  In today’s society, especially with women, looks and beauty seem to be a major concern for them.  It isn’t uncommon to hear a story where a woman develops an eating disorder because she wants to be skinny and beautiful as the women are in the magazines.  Now, force a child to be beautiful at the influential age of four.  As they grow up and change, they may not have the same looks they did when they won the pageants back when they were little girls.  They may have gained weight or a feature has changed dramatically, at least to them.  When they look in the mirror they may not like what they see, despite the fact they are still absolutely gorgeous.  This is all due to the strict guidelines they had to follow while growing up.

Do these pageants bring out the “witch” in these children?  Well, hearing these mother’s talk to their children, you would swear that everyone else is dirt and their child or recipient of the praise is perfect.  This does not help a child’s demeanor one bit.  It helps with the attitude to make their child feel like they are a winner and be proud, but that message stays in their heads and can easily continue to run even when they aren’t on stage.  That means that sense of “I’m the best” will transpose itself into their school and other social gathering places.  In my opinion, this will do one or two things.  For one, it will turn them into the popular, stuck-up girl on campus that all the other girls want to be and will do anything to be friends with.  Or, it will do the complete opposite and drive people away from them, which can lead to other major mental issues down the line.

Listen, I'm not in any way trying to act like the 'perfect' mother. I've made my share of mistakes, we all do. Forgive me here for a moment as I do run lingerie business and I do very much support elegance and beauty.... but I support it in women who want to enter these pageants at a legal age. I do not support 2 and 4 and 8 year old boys and girls and ages on up to be taunted and pushed by who else but their parents to win, win win! Really? Is this about them learning to fail or succeed or is the paycheck going into your account to satisfy YOUR needs and the hell with what they need?

What is your problem people? These are little kids here. Let them ride their bikes and play barbies for God sakes. Take them to Disney World not across the country to be humiliated by hundreds and thousands of people who feel the same way that I do. What are you doing? Is this all about the child learning to be positive and independent and allowing them to make their own way? My guess is NO. My guess is that you are living your pathetic childhood through none other than your child/children because you don't like how your life turned out and you have insecurities. The hard core facts here are that most mothers of these children are usually trying to live their own dreams through their young daughters. I am talking about dreams that they either could not accomplish or have accomplished in such way that they’ve become a way of life. Playing dress-up with your daughter can be great, but why are you transforming it into a full-time job that really only benefits you?

Your children are just kids, and they need to do all of the fun things that kids do, and by that I do not mean waking up at the crack of dawn to learn the dance moves to a song that talks about sex and erotic behavior. Some of these little girls danced like they belonged in a strip club. These children don't know the true meanings of these lyrics and by the looks of it, obviously,... neither do you...and you call yourself a parent? While watching this show I saw beautiful little girls with more makeup on their faces than I wear in a year. Poise, beauty, elegance? Let them dress up like I used to by wearing my mothers jewelry and stilettos around the house and having tea parties with their dolls. As for these crazy pageants...let them do this in their later teens as they mature into young adults, not now. Don't you see that you are stripping them of their adolescence? Do you even care? Let your children be children, and let them grown up and follow their dreams not YOURS!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

How to Eat HEALTHY on a BUDGET

Times are tough for so many of us and groceries keep going, up, up up! So how can we eat food that is healthy and good for us on a budget? With the economic situation in the world being what it is, it's important to find ways of eating healthy on a budget. It's not really all that difficult to do but you have to sit down, go through grocery store ads and make a list to find the best buys/deals. then you must make a menu for the week(s) of what you are going to prepare for yourself or your family. Buy freezer bags and freezer storage containers...this saves BIG money in the long run! It is possible to purchase foods that are good for you and your budget; you merely have to plan ahead to get the best food you can for the money you have available. CLIP COUPONS! So many stores offer up to $.75 off and they will double or even triple the coupons. You're throwing your money right out the window if you walk into a supermarket that offers this and you DON'T do it! Believe it or not as a single mother or two, this was a life saver for me. My family always ate well because I sat down and actually took the time to prepare a shopping list and a menu for the week. Having a plan and sticking to it can help you get more food at less cost and allow you to prepare better, more healthy meals.

Here are some of my tips to help you succeed in eating healthy on a budget:

Grocery Shopping

1. Set aside time to make your food plan. Find the sales ads for each of the grocery stores in your area and decide on your meals for the coming week ahead of time.

2. Make a list. After you've planned your meals, write down everything you need for each meal. Check your pantry, freezer, and refrigerator to see if you already have some of the items. Make your grocery list and determine to stick with it!

• Include what you'll need for drinks, snacks and desserts.
• Remember your ingredients for preparation, such as butter, flour, sugar, and spices.
• Replenish cleaning supplies.

3. Clip coupons for items you know you'll use. Leave the remainder of the coupons at home so you're not tempted to "save" money on items you don't need.

4. Never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach because you're more likely to buy items that look good rather than those on your list.

• If you can't go to the store right after a meal, take along a light snack to help you resist temptation while in the store.

5. Buy items on the perimeter of the store first because these items are the healthiest choices. This will include fruits, vegetables, meats, and dairy items. The center items are processed or convenience foods. Not only are they more expensive, but they aren't healthy.

6. Look for fruits and vegetables that are in season as these will often be cheaper than non-seasonal choices. While you're looking at the fruits and vegetables, see if there are any sales on these healthy, nutrient rich foods.

• Choose large bags rather than individual pieces of fruit. The larger bags are often cheaper by the pound.

7. Buy store or generic brands. There usually isn't much difference in the way the foods taste but you can definitely see a difference in the price.

Other Ways to Eat Healthy on a Budget

1. Make your own snacks for your family's time away from home rather than allowing them to purchase food from vending machines. Fresh fruit and vegetable sticks with dip are much healthier than the bags of chips or crackers that come from the machines.

2. Eat at home. Whenever possible, make your food from scratch and eat it at home. Not only will this give you more control over what your family eats, but it can also save you a considerable amount of money.

• Eating out also encourages overeating because portion sizes are massive.

3. Drink healthy. Finally, when eating healthy on a budget, don't forget to think about what you're drinking. Expensive, sugar-laden drinks are the bane of your budget and counter-productive to healthy eating.

• Look for 100% pure juices.
• Drink low fat milk.
• Drink more water.
• Cut out soft drinks.

If you follow these tips, you'll soon discover the joys of healthy eating and you'll save money in the process. You may have to spend some extra time preparing food, but the benefits are astounding and the saving will put that extra money back in your pockets to other things that you like such as going to a concert or out to the movies. If you really save it could mean those weekend getaways or vacations! Isn't it time for you to sit down and evaluate your budget and where your money is going? The little things are what make the biggest differences!

www.simplydleiciouslingerie.com

Do You Have Super Mom Parenting Skills?

As a parent, having patience all begins with your attitude. Some of us have patience's, and some of us, well...not so much. Here lies the issues with parenting skills; If you're a perfectionist, now is the time to get over it, yup you heard me, leave it at the door, toss those thoughts aside and say bye-bye! Listen, not until your kids are grown and out of the house will everything be sane, clean, and in order (at least not all at once and at the same time and then when the kids are gone you have to worry about your spouse making a mess). If you have the attitude that it's all going to be just fine and you can deal with it for about 18 years - you're ahead of the game, if not, sweetheart, you have a long road ahead of you....

My advice? Don't take things too seriously! Allow kids to be kids and do the goofy things that they're supposed to do. This means they're going to make messes, drop and break things, spill, topple, destroy, kill, mutilate - you know, be kids. The key here is not to go ballistic when these things happen. If you accept the fact that these things will happen, you won't lose your patience when they do. Here is a thought for you to ponder today: “I'm not going to be in a hurry today. I'm going to remain calm and relaxed. Whatever spills can be cleaned. Whatever breaks can be replaced or glued. I won't take out my anger or frustrations on my kids because I love them.”

So why is it that are you losing your patience to begin with? Well first off, hey, we are human. We aren't Ms Universe and we don't have all the answers. So what causes us to get a little 'say' a little agitated? Plenty of reasons, perhaps you'll l lose your patience because you're over-tired, over-stressed, have the feeling of being over-worked without any help, and don't have enough time for yourself. If you fix these areas, you're more likely to have patience with the little things kids can do to push your stress buttons. Fixing these areas means you go to bed earlier. Being stressed and tired is not worth staying up late to watch your favorite late-night talk shows!

Calm down, you aren't Super Mom! If your family comes home and leaves all the work to you while they then go off and do their own thing, ask them to help you, or do what I do, demand that they help you...and if they don't then maybe dinner won't get cooked tonight either? Remind them that you didn't have kids to do all the parenting yourself and tell them that you want some assistance. They, in turn, will stand and scratch their head and say, "Huh...what do ya mean?" That's when you sit down and divvy out chores and tasks to those in your family. If so far your family is only your spouse - or even a roommate if you're a single parent - put together chores that will take some of the work schedule off you. Why should you have to take the burden and do it all? That's crazy!

You may also lose patience because 'your expectations for your kids are wayyyy too high!' You can't expect your four-year-old to sit quietly through all your favorite parts of today's soap opera, the nightly news, nor can you expect your one-year-old to remember to stay out of the toilet paper even though you've told him at least 100 times. He may really love toilet paper, and you may have to tell him another 100 times (along with taking the toilet paper away and moving him out of the room where the toilet paper is). Then again, maybe that same four-year-old always sits quietly while watching Sesame Street. Maybe you've only had to tell your one-year-old to leave the litter box alone three times before he got the idea. 

The bottom line here is pretty simple...don't expect your kids to listen to you the same in all situations, and don't expect miracles from them. Parenting is a lot easier when you stop setting expectations that are too high on your kids and you take them at face value. Don't take devilish actions personally..kids will be kids, and I'm sure if you ask your parents, they'll tell you that you weren't perfect either! Kids, like adult, learn from their mistakes...so gee, let them make a few! They will never learn if you do everything for them and if you are always correcting them. They want to dress themselves for church? Let them, even if the outfit is ridiculous and loud, let them wear it. You don't go to church to impress God, so really does it matter if you kid looks like Rainbow Brite? NO!  Take a chill pill and enjoy your family, for one day they will graduate from college move across state, or out of state and then you'll have plenty of time to bitch about a dirty house.  Until then, enjoy your family and don't sweat the small stuff!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com