Sunday, August 28, 2011

Love? Reality or Fantasy

Do you believe in today's society that real true love exists? I used to imagine it being like something out of a fairy tale novel and that it was like a dream...some will tell you that finding one true love would never happen, and then I watched several of my friends find love almost out of nowhere, some on their own, but some nonetheless with the help http://www.match.com/ and http://www.eharmony.com/ and then I began to see the big picture. Huey Lewis and the News once sang it best; "Do You Believe In Love"

Most might say that exists only in the movies, I totally disagree. Life is not a page out of Princess Bride or The Proposal, I know that. Isn’t it completely normal for the people we live with – be it our siblings, parents, spouses or roommates – to have annoying habits that occasionally drive us up the wall? Is it reasonable to expect that life should be like a fairy tale where everyone lives in harmony happily ever after?

Statistics on rising divorce rates clearly indicate that such a thing does not exist. In the other extreme, disposable relationships are also disconcerting. This dichotomy of existence, between fantasy and reality, of the definition of love and what is expected of a relationship, that has created a myriad of social ills such as divorce, fear of commitment, temporary relationships and the believe that one can “always do better” and why settle for anything less.

For most people, having contemplated the thought that there may be other definitions of these two harmless sounding words which together have a power greater than their individual meanings.
The answers to the definition of true love can be as varied as there are waves in the ocean. 

 A random sampling of answers to the question of “What is true love?” yielded the following:
True love is when you put your partner’s interests above your own. It is when you will do anything to see them happy, even things that may go against what you believe. It is called sacrifice and true love is nothing without it. To me, true love is something that is hard to explain. Sometimes people think that it is there. Some people know that it is there…

True love is the conviction to forgive the one whom you love unconditionally.When you’re away from her you think of her. When you’re with her you want to please her. When you laugh or cry you want to do it with her. True love is when two people know each other’s imperfections, limitations, shortcomings, and flaws, and in spite of that they accept without hesitation and without hope for a change. Do anything but without EXPECTATIONS !!! True love seems to be unconditional love, acceptance and sacrifice. It also seems to be obsessive, co-dependent and indefinable.

As children, fairy tales are necessary to help us acclimate to adult ideas, therefore the depictions of true love and happy endings help us learn about the themes of good and evil, of marriage and long term commitments. But now that we are adults, it is time to dispose of the childish notion of “happily ever after” and accept that life is a journey and the loving relationships in them make for a richer experience. There will be times when a spouse’s inability to throw the Hostess Ho-Ho wrapper away is too difficult..why not just leave it the on the counter, she'll pick it up....or they neglect to put dirty socks in the hamper that is six inches away...that's about the time you want to tell him to take a long walk off a very short pier....but love is love, and it doesn’t stop them from being the people we love.

Ultimately true love is about respect for another, cherishing their individuality, supporting their efforts, applauding their achievements, caring for their wounds while they heal and allowing room for them to grow into better human beings. Hey...this takes a very long time. I think that we can have the best of both worlds, a little fantasy never hurt anyone, and if you spice your romance up with http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/ or http://www.simplylusciouslingerie.com/  soon to arrive for plus size women, you will enjoy that fantasy of romance that you and your spouse/partner/lover can step into from time to time, outside of the real world of reality and indulge in fantasy.

Close your eyes, and envison your prince and your castle...it's there...never give up the dream. Your prince might just come in a different form...they don't have to be in a suit made of shining armor and ride up on a horse...he can be in a pair of khakis and a polo, or in jeans, chaps and on a Harley! My grandmother once told me that love will come into your life in a variety of forms and that when you find the one that you are to be with, strange as it may seem, often things just happen. Timing is everything... he is out there....and he will be the man who wins your heart.



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