Friday, June 3, 2011

Dating Over 40.....Is the Grass Really Greener?

In our day and age, it is so frustrating to listen to people telling you that you are way too picky, expect too much and that you should lower your standards of dating......but the good news is that you don't need to "settle" for Mr. Right Now.Having a considerable amount dating experience under your belt actually gives you the practical skills you'll need when Mr. Right does happen to wonder into your neck of the woods, whether it be a chance meeting at the dry cleaners, the supermarket or on the internet. It also opens your eyes to see what kind of weirdos and super freaks there really are out there!

They say....the more experience you have, the better you will be at weeding out the good men from the pool of men who aren't right for you. I call the bad ones the bottom feeders, better know as a leech, slacker, someone with total lack of responsibility. Women who date frequently know this type and know when to cut their losses and say, "Next!" Savvy women respect that and move on. It's women who don't date a lot who tend to settle for less. No No No gals.....never ever just settle! This should be in a womans hand book somewhere. It's in mine!You know that saying "less is more?" Not such good advice to follow in dating.
What I've learned is that it can be quite difficult enough for women over 40 to date, but it's even more difficult for them to find good dating advice. The first step is for a woman over 40 to make sure to dress her age. For God sakes, don't walk out the door for a date dressed in something that your daughter would wear...sure you may feel intimidated and worry that men are more interested in the younger women....and hey... maybe they are....However, you should not try to dress like them, you'll just end up looking foolish.
One advantage women over 40 have is that they are often more comfortable with their bodies and more in touch with their sensuality than their younger counterparts. They shouldn't be afraid to be sexual and amorous with the right man. There's no need to play dumb to impress a man; the best way to impress him is to show that you're his intellectual equal. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe he wants to date you because he is looking for someone intelligent, with social skills, knowledge of culture, society, politics and wants a woman who can discuss what's on the news...World News,.... not E-News! These younger women are like beautiful cars.....and men....well, they're like boys, they want to take them out for test drives, but they would never consider parking them in their garages. Men may be flamboyant, arrogant, sexy, and alluring, but never stupid! He wants to see that you are all that and a bag of chips!
Like a fine wine, with age comes maturity.This should help to set a womans mind at ease.This has also just set the bar higher for younger women looking to cross the line into our middle aged turf!
 I say.."BACK OFF!" In the end, the "older" woman, with more life experience and wisdom beats out the younger woman who may be lacking maturity and poise. Although it's a bit cliché, it is imperative that you just be yourself! I've never said that the older cannot date and or marry the younger or vica versa...I'm simply stating that the statistics show that most often it just doesn't work out. A woman over 40 should be very proud of the life she's lived, the experiences and insight she's gained, the accomplishments and achievements that she has acquired and the person she's become.

Oh sure, we always think that the grass is greener on the other side...but don't be a schmuck...
 in perspective, eventually that grass needs mowed too!

2 comments:

  1. Dating is so much harder in our 40s and 50s. I never imagined it would be so challenging. I've met some nice men, and a few not so nice as you would call them bottom feeders, nice call, it fits them perfectly. Where does one go to find good quality men? Perhaps I am going to the wrong spot?

    Doreen Taylor
    Seattle, WA

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  2. Nice article Michele...always enjoy reading your material!

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