Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Relationship "Need to Knows" for a Healthy Relationship

Have you ever had a relationship go bad? Why? Did you really give it much thought as to why? Did you make any changes when you started your new relationship? Most of us suffer from relationship failure at some point in our lives. I believe in the ole' "practice make perfect." ........However, the truth is that even after having a relationship fail, many of us continue the same behavior with a new relationship. Why would anyone do this? Because most relationship mistakes, and behaviors that ruin relationships, are done unknowingly. The following are some of the things you could be doing to ruin your relationship without even knowing it.

Always being in a hurry. Slowww down....take time to stop and smell the roses....you aren't in a marathon race, are you? If you find that you are always in a hurry with everything, you need to stop and ask yourself if you are in a hurry with your relationship as well. Not giving enough time to the relationship to develop love could cause it to fail. In most cases relationships that develop too fast, or people who expect results too soon, get frustrated, and the relationship is premature and fails. Be okay with things moving slowly. You need to have a good understanding of each other and develop, not find, liking for each other. This takes time. So, instead of rushing things, enjoy the process, take things slow, and be happy that you get to develop a beautiful relationship.

Focusing on the physical. A lot people start their relationships based on a physical attraction, and that is not just normal, but also expected.... However, when you never stop focusing just on the physical then you find that your relationship lacks substance. Making out on the sofa all day is fun, but with your lips locked, how well can you really get to know one another? It takes conversation and time spent together not physically entwined. You can like their looks and body, in fact, you can offer to be their love goddess, but you can't let that be the foundation of your relationship, or it will fail. I have said time and time again....anyone can have a relationship based on sex..that's the easy part,...building a good solid relationship requires listening, agreeing and disagreeing and heart. If you build your relationship on a solid foundation and you become one an others best friend there won't be much that the tow of you cannot accomplish.

Being a romantic. Wouldn't you be swept off your feet if on a first date you were picked up in a long white limo, the inside covered with bouquets of fresh flowers, a bottle of sparkly, and some imported chocolates? Hello.....this isn't Rodeo Drive and we're not recasting "Pretty Woman"......But every night all the fuss...? Wanting it to be too romantic, gets old, and means your relationship as a lot of fluff and no substance. Keep it real...flowers die, and if you don't find another way to make this sizzle.....it will wither away too! Trust me, your partner will enjoy the simple things you do to show how much you care more than you think, so whether its a date at the drive in movies, a burnt hot dog on the grill, or a Sunday afternoon on the couch watching a Steelers football game...enjoy your special time with him, it's quality,..... and quality supersedes quantity in my book any day!

Being codependent for your happiness. People who can't be happy unless their partner is happy, or rely on their partner to make them happy are making a huge relationship failure mode. If you can not have dependence, and if you are not happy in and of yourself, your relationship can not succeed. Work on this together,....two minds are better than one, and regardless of who may or may not be excelling in life whether it be in the professional world or your personal life, just be there for them and give your support.

You know the saying, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch your....front?


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