Saturday, June 11, 2011

Dating After Marriage... Keeping the Spark!

One of the biggest complaints from men and women about their spouses is how much they have changed since they were first dating. Why is this ask? Well, seems pretty simple to me.....We tend to put our best foot forward during the courting ritual, doing our utmost to impress our dates. We try to be polite, courteous, caring, giving, sensitive, well-groomed and well-mannered......and then, we get married (or engaged or move in together) and revert back to our old, self-centered, slovenly tendencies. We slip into doing things the old way, and not feeling like we have to work so hard on the relationship, even though now it has become a union. Gone are the days of have "you" time, as now it's called "we" time.....When you love someone and what to make your relationship work, and grow to get the fullest potential, wouldn't we work harder to keep that bond with our partners?

If you feel that your relationship may have lost some of its ’spark,’ ask yourself if you are acting the same way as when you went out on those first few dates. Can you imagine how different our relationships would be if we always behaved as though we were wooing our significant other? We would belch, complain, argue, curse, whine and nag less. We would bathe, smile, caress, encourage, give, clean and communicate more.
If you desire to keep (or renew) that first date spark, you should never stop dating and courting the one you love, no matter how long you have been together. This is putting your best foot forward and making a change n your life for the good. Marriage isn't to be entered into lightly.....it is a commitment, some say it is like a contract, except you didn't just buy a big screen TV with no interest for 24 months, or a new vehicle for 60 months....you bought a life time of companionship, friendship, love, and romance all rolled into one. You stand by your partner and walk beside him/her, never in front of or behind...a partnership is 50/50. Not 60/40, 70/30, 80/20 and certainly not 90/10.

 Courage, strength, determination and commitment....key factors for each and every one of us to have with our partner. Today, people don't take marriage like they did some 20-30 years ago. It's a contract today all right but a contract of  "pre-nups" and empty promises that are broken faster than a glass hitting the floor. My thought are; If you cannot do the simple things to make your partner happy, and wish to give up and just stop romancing them, or if you can no longer be creative because "Hey, your married now, you don't have to try so hard any more!" .......If this is your attitude.....then don't do it!! Are you one of these people, or do you know someone like this?.....Relationships are between two people, not a circle of friends and certainly not an entire family. If you have to work hard to put on a good show by trying to impress your friends and family, you should really take a long hard look at yourselves.... Do what you do for you, not everyone else. It's really not all about the "Status Quo" ....and if you think that it is,....my friend you have problems and I can't help you.

 Think think think, before you commit.... if you do love one another and you are best friends and work very little to make the relationship work because it just does, and like that piece of the missing puzzle it all falls into place....you'll have it made! Life is certainly about challenges and hurdles,....flowers and romance, candle light dinners, walks on the beach hand in hand and weekend getaways, regardless of your age.....you should always date after marriage, even if its one night a week or once a month. Communicate,....this is the key to successful relationships. Without it, your foundation/partnership will never survive.Make a splash and enjoy life! Don't lose sight of the important things,...take those walks, hold hands, never go to bed angry and go one dates....not only are they romantic, and special....but so unique, one of a kind and exhilarating! Every day should be like walking off into the sunset together.....special and like a new day.



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