Single Mothers & Leadership?

When you think of great leadership you think of powerful, and the most influencing people that in one way, shape or form had a major impact on life, or your life. Leadership is an art and a science. It is an art because it continually evolves, changes form, and requires creativity. It is a science because there are certain essential principles and techniques required. A good leader knows when it is time to change shape because they are highly attentive to those around them. Coming from a position of strength, a great leader takes risks by freeing up the creative genius in their followers to build their capability and multiply the talents. When I think of leadership, I think of several things.

When I sat down to write this article, I pondered what to talk about and how to show you what others see a great leader as? I was looking on my computer through my research from other previous blogs when I came across an essay paper that my son wrote in 2010 titled "Leadership Essay." I thought to myself, "Was I supposed to stumble upon this?" And then it happened...  my motherly instincts kicked in and I thought to myself "humm, let's see what he has written and maybe, just maybe, I can use some of his literature." You should know that I respect my children's privacy, but this was technically 'out in the open' so I felt it was all right to embark upon. What I read was amazing and the more I read, the harder I cried. You see, this was an essay for college written by my son about me. Needless to say, I was curious but what I learned about how my son perceived me was mind blowing to me. It was titled "My Mother" and this is what he wrote;

         "When I was given the assignment to write about someone who possesses leadership qualities, my mind was made up in an instant. A leader to me is someone who has the best interest at heart and who fights for what they want. They are willing to sacrifice their own comfort and time for others. A leader has the vision and the ability to achieve success and inspire those around them to strive for perfection as well. I have chosen to write about my mother.

I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it was for her to be a single mother. I watched her through good times and the occasional setbacks, and even through illness.. It continues to amaze me how calm she was about having cancer. I was scared in the beginning that it would keep"coming back.” She was so strong. She went on to describe that her fear was the fear of the unknown. I have so much respect for her and everything that she has endured.  

 My mother is currently working on being an independent business woman. I find stacks of books near the computer every night I get home from school. They are books dedicated to starting your own business. This impressed me and inspired me. My mother is a forty six year old woman who will not give up. She wants to be successful, and she is committed to teaching herself the business skills that are necessary for success. My mother shared with me that she is tired of working like crazy and receiving minimal credit for the outstanding work that she does.

 She worked hard to provide a happy life my sister and I. My mother went out of her way and did everything she could to guarantee our happiness. I have been an avid Madonna fan my entire life. Like Madonna, my mother embodies many of the same qualities. I admire these women for their courage, confidence, determination, and the will not to back down and take no for an answer. 

When people have respect for a leader, they will follow them. My mother has been a great example to me. She is kind, and people are kind in return. Ever since I was a child, she taught me to be kind and respectful to others. My mother and I both respect one another. I have never seen her give up. She possesses all of the leadership qualities that I like most in a person. I am truly inspired by her perseverance. People follow and look up to those who are stronger than them. I am not as strong as my mother. I often feel like giving up, but it is her determination that inspires me not to quit. My mother once said 'No and Quit' are not in my vocabulary. My mother is a terrific leader, and I am her biggest fan.

 Quite honestly....There is no way humanly possible for me to even try to top what I see a leaders role as with the essay that my son wrote, nonetheless, I am humbled by it, and he compared me to Madonna. Leadership does not always just involve one person. In our family, it took 3 of us; myself, my son and my daughter. Like peanut butter and jelly, we always stick together! We learned to be the best that we can be. We learned that great leadership comes from within. You have to want something so badly, and never be afraid to act on it. My grandmother used to always say; "Life is what you make it, and if you're going to dream, DREAM BIG!"

It's never too late to try something new. As a single mother, being a positive role model for my children was my only priority as I do believe that your children and how you raise them are a genuine reflection of 'you!' I pulled specific topics and characteristics that it take to be a great leader to share with you. Summing up true leadership you need these qualities to succeed:

1. Self-respect and respect for others. If you don’t have a healthy self-respect, you won’t respect others. If you don’t respect others, they will not respect you. You can’t lead people who don’t respect you.

2. The ability to communicate effectively. Leaders say what they mean and mean exactly what they say. Effective communicators. are far more persuasive than those who don’t communicate well.

 Integrity and character. Leaders are not swayed by unsubstantiated opinions or unfounded rumors. Fame, power, or material gain don’t motivate them. Leaders have integrity, that strength of character that resists assault. 

3.Having a vision, a mission (or a purpose), a sense of direction, a clear set of goals and get motivated! Moreover, they know that their job isn’t done when one set of goals is reached. Leaders know that life is a journey. Leaders have a vision of what the world around them ought to be, but they are also pragmatic. Things will not always go smoothly, but leaders understand that and have the presence of mind to deal with that.

4. Courage. Fear is a powerful motivator; it causes many of us to turn away from our goals when our belief in ourselves and our cause isn’t strong. Leaders aren’t fearless — leaders make a conscious choice to act in spite of their fear. Persistence, commitment, and dedication.

5. A sense of responsibility Leaders are willing to bear the ultimate responsibility for their undertakings. They don’t point the finger of blame when things go awry. Decisiveness. When action is called for, real leaders don’t waffle.