Showing posts with label integrity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label integrity. Show all posts

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Single Mothers & Leadership?

When you think of great leadership you think of powerful, and the most influencing people that in one way, shape or form had a major impact on life, or your life. Leadership is an art and a science. It is an art because it continually evolves, changes form, and requires creativity. It is a science because there are certain essential principles and techniques required. A good leader knows when it is time to change shape because they are highly attentive to those around them. Coming from a position of strength, a great leader takes risks by freeing up the creative genius in their followers to build their capability and multiply the talents. When I think of leadership, I think of several things.

When I sat down to write this article, I pondered what to talk about and how to show you what others see a great leader as? I was looking on my computer through my research from other previous blogs when I came across an essay paper that my son wrote in 2010 titled "Leadership Essay." I thought to myself, "Was I supposed to stumble upon this?" And then it happened...  my motherly instincts kicked in and I thought to myself "humm, let's see what he has written and maybe, just maybe, I can use some of his literature." You should know that I respect my children's privacy, but this was technically 'out in the open' so I felt it was all right to embark upon. What I read was amazing and the more I read, the harder I cried. You see, this was an essay for college written by my son about me. Needless to say, I was curious but what I learned about how my son perceived me was mind blowing to me. It was titled "My Mother" and this is what he wrote;

         "When I was given the assignment to write about someone who possesses leadership qualities, my mind was made up in an instant. A leader to me is someone who has the best interest at heart and who fights for what they want. They are willing to sacrifice their own comfort and time for others. A leader has the vision and the ability to achieve success and inspire those around them to strive for perfection as well. I have chosen to write about my mother.

I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it was for her to be a single mother. I watched her through good times and the occasional setbacks, and even through illness.. It continues to amaze me how calm she was about having cancer. I was scared in the beginning that it would keep"coming back.” She was so strong. She went on to describe that her fear was the fear of the unknown. I have so much respect for her and everything that she has endured.  

 My mother is currently working on being an independent business woman. I find stacks of books near the computer every night I get home from school. They are books dedicated to starting your own business. This impressed me and inspired me. My mother is a forty six year old woman who will not give up. She wants to be successful, and she is committed to teaching herself the business skills that are necessary for success. My mother shared with me that she is tired of working like crazy and receiving minimal credit for the outstanding work that she does.

 She worked hard to provide a happy life my sister and I. My mother went out of her way and did everything she could to guarantee our happiness. I have been an avid Madonna fan my entire life. Like Madonna, my mother embodies many of the same qualities. I admire these women for their courage, confidence, determination, and the will not to back down and take no for an answer. 

When people have respect for a leader, they will follow them. My mother has been a great example to me. She is kind, and people are kind in return. Ever since I was a child, she taught me to be kind and respectful to others. My mother and I both respect one another. I have never seen her give up. She possesses all of the leadership qualities that I like most in a person. I am truly inspired by her perseverance. People follow and look up to those who are stronger than them. I am not as strong as my mother. I often feel like giving up, but it is her determination that inspires me not to quit. My mother once said 'No and Quit' are not in my vocabulary. My mother is a terrific leader, and I am her biggest fan.

 Quite honestly....There is no way humanly possible for me to even try to top what I see a leaders role as with the essay that my son wrote, nonetheless, I am humbled by it, and he compared me to Madonna. Leadership does not always just involve one person. In our family, it took 3 of us; myself, my son and my daughter. Like peanut butter and jelly, we always stick together! We learned to be the best that we can be. We learned that great leadership comes from within. You have to want something so badly, and never be afraid to act on it. My grandmother used to always say; "Life is what you make it, and if you're going to dream, DREAM BIG!"

It's never too late to try something new. As a single mother, being a positive role model for my children was my only priority as I do believe that your children and how you raise them are a genuine reflection of 'you!' I pulled specific topics and characteristics that it take to be a great leader to share with you. Summing up true leadership you need these qualities to succeed:

1. Self-respect and respect for others. If you don’t have a healthy self-respect, you won’t respect others. If you don’t respect others, they will not respect you. You can’t lead people who don’t respect you.

2. The ability to communicate effectively. Leaders say what they mean and mean exactly what they say. Effective communicators. are far more persuasive than those who don’t communicate well.

 Integrity and character. Leaders are not swayed by unsubstantiated opinions or unfounded rumors. Fame, power, or material gain don’t motivate them. Leaders have integrity, that strength of character that resists assault. 

3.Having a vision, a mission (or a purpose), a sense of direction, a clear set of goals and get motivated! Moreover, they know that their job isn’t done when one set of goals is reached. Leaders know that life is a journey. Leaders have a vision of what the world around them ought to be, but they are also pragmatic. Things will not always go smoothly, but leaders understand that and have the presence of mind to deal with that.

4. Courage. Fear is a powerful motivator; it causes many of us to turn away from our goals when our belief in ourselves and our cause isn’t strong. Leaders aren’t fearless — leaders make a conscious choice to act in spite of their fear. Persistence, commitment, and dedication.

5. A sense of responsibility Leaders are willing to bear the ultimate responsibility for their undertakings. They don’t point the finger of blame when things go awry. Decisiveness. When action is called for, real leaders don’t waffle.


Sunday, July 15, 2012

Describe Character...5 Steps to Improve Yours!

What is "Character?"

"Character" is defined as "the inherent complex of attributes that determines a person's moral and ethical actions and reactions." Honesty, respecting others, having good sense of right and wrong. Acting appropriately in all situations. In simpler terms, your character is what leads you to make the decisions you make and perform the behaviors you do in everyday situations. Character is who we really are. It's what we do when no one is looking. It' s the accumulation of thoughts, values, words and actions. These become the habits that comprise our character. That character determines our destiny. My grandmother used to say that your character described you in general to a "T." Integrity and ethics I feel are strongly associated with your character and who you are. It's all about being kind, not necessarily about being right. It's about listening, not about always being the assertive speaker. It defines who you are, and the type of person you become. I was raised with high morals and ethics and that is how I have raised my kids.

A person of character thinks right and does right according to core universal values that define the qualities of a good person: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship. The CHARACTER COUNTS!


Follow the 5 steps below to a stronger, more principled self:

1. What rules do you follow? This is important, so give it some deep thought.Think about the morals that guide you. Where did you learn them? Are they connected to your own ideas, what your parents taught you, or your faith?
  • An example of a rule you might follow in life is "The Golden Rule." Maybe you learned it at home from parents or in church. It states, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." More succinctly, the Golden Rules says to treat others the way you want to be treated.
  • If you discover you have no "set" of guidelines that you follow, now is the time to compose your own rules and write them down. Alternately, look for morals that you aspire to.
  • Talk to those you love about your personal guidelines. They'll help you clarify what you really want to live by.
2. Evaluate your life. Have you lived by your guidelines? An important step in strengthening your character is taking an inventory of your past behaviors/choices.
  • Did you make your decisions based on your principles? For example, if you consider yourself a Christian and vow to follow Christian rules and morals, have you actually been applying those rules in your life?
  • This exploration into your past is necessary whenever you hope to strengthen your character. Without knowing where you've been, it's hard to see clearly where you're at today.
3. Do your morals match your past behaviors? If you discover you've avoided following the very rules you've adopted for your life, it's important to reflect on what you did and what motivated you in those instances.
  • This reflection is crucial to character development. When you do this, you take steps forward to change your actions and decisions to better follow your guiding principles.
4. Something needs to change. Consider frankly what you'd like to alter about yourself to more closely live by your rules. Next, make a list of what you've noticed.
  • Do you desire to be more honest with others? Are you ready to let go of manipulating others to get what you want from them? Whatever changes you plan to make, write them down. Ponder them.
  • Find others who believe in the same principles as you do and make friends with them.
5. Apply your guidelines each day. From this point forward, focus on decisions you make and how you behave, keeping in mind your chosen set of rules. Vow to make the changes you've listed.
  • If you like, type up your life guidelines and place them where you'll consistently see them.
  • Your principles might be summed up as simply as The Golden Rule. Or they may be a long list of rules and ideals that you aspire to. Whatever the case, stay in conscious contact with yourself every moment of each day.
  • Be fearless in your efforts to follow your morals. Stand guard over your daily decisions to ensure they match up with your guiding principles.
  • And remember: today is a new day. Whatever you did yesterday, while it may require an apology or amends, is now in the past. If you didn't do as well as you would have liked, you can start over today.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Life is ALL About Friendship...

When people ask me..."Michele, why are you always happy?" I generally respond with the same answer..."Life is good, family is wonderful and my friends are at what keep me going!" What makes a a good friendship? I have been asked this many times and after much contemplation my answer is 'loyalty and integrity.' I have decided to write an article around the words that I feel are essential to any friendship and of course the words integrity, and loyalty rank high amongst them. Friends are the fundamental element on which our life and the journey of relationships are based. It is all about meeting people who can really become true best friends. A person need not just have one best friend. I have several generous friends that have always stood by me. Can you honestly, tell the difference between an ordinary and a loyal friend? My friends are extraordinary!

There are a lot of things that a true friend is, and for those that I have, I say thank you for always having my back, for not judging me, for supporting me when things went good as well as when things went not so good...but most of all I say thank you for never letting me down, for never giving up on me, and for never throwing in the towel when so many others would have. Whether I see you all every day or once a year, or not for 5 years, I have much respect for all of my friends and appreciate their support and wisdom. We live in a world where selfishness seems to be the rule of the day, and personal gain the objective of most relationships and endeavors. One of the most honorable character traits a person can develop is the ability to be loyal.

There is a difference between an ordinary and a loyal friend. It is the support and care they provide. True and loyal friends will always stand by your side and they will ultimately provide you what you need in any of the circumstances. You would be able to take out a lot from his or her company and knowledge. They won’t ask for a payback even if they do a lot. You should consider the difference between an ordinary and a loyal friend so you can have a group of people that are worthwhile and essential. A friend's loyalty is a wonderful virtue. When loyalty is missing other values will certainly suffer in any friendship. This is a quality that you should look for in a friend, as friendships can be very complicated at times, but loyalty between friends will hold the friendship together.

Do you completely understand what being loyal means? You must be willing to allow your own interests to take second place to be truly loyal to another person or cause. Loyalty is simply the act of putting someone or something else ahead of ones self.

Look for reward and appreciation in your efforts to be loyal. Being loyal to an unappreciative person or group is not very rewarding, and although this implies a selfish motivation for your loyalty, it is a practical thing to expect the person or group to which you give your loyalty to be loyal to you in return. My friends all knew how difficult and how extremely challenging the business world would be for me, especially since I declined so many offers of investors. The problem.issues that were attached with taking on an investor or more was that my hard work was about to get put on the back burner and I would pretty much be working in a sense for them. I was not at all willing to give up share of my hard work for someone else that dangled cash in front of me. I'm sorry, but no job, nor my integrity, blood sweat and tears was worth that to me. These were my dreams and my visions that I have had and shared with my friends for as long as I can remember, and making these dreams my reality didn't come easy. I work endless hours, I have taken classes and more classes. I push myself and keep on pushing because one day, my dreams are for my business names to be known and when they are..., it will all of been worth this tough road that I have traveled for the past few years.

My grandmother used to always say that if you were going to dream, to dream BIG! That's how I was raised and that is how I raised both of my children. If you don't fail, you've never tried. If you give up, you'll never know, and if you quit, someone else will jump on the chance to steal your thunder. I am blessed with the friends and family in my life, for if it not have been for so many of you, I would not be the person that I am today...a woman with high hopes that wants to make life better, reality more than just a dream, and a work environment a much better place.


www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com










Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Dating...It's all about Honesty and Integrity

Let’s talk a bit about dating, honesty and integrity today. Integrity is really related to honesty, and I think that integrity is really the benchmark of what determines whether you are a good or bad person. Now lets talk about lies and dating. They've always gone together like birds of a feather.  As sad a it is, lying has gotten even easier with the anonymity of online dating. So who's really lying on dating sites and what lies are they telling?

When I searched for the real facts I was crushed to think that you could not find a good person on a dating site, so I tried it myself. Truth is, most men walk the walk but surely do not talk the talk. When it comes to online dating, there is one cardinal truth that you must keep in mind - almost everyone out there is lying. This is not done purposely to misrepresent facts, but to build a profile that would impress the opposite sex and hence lead to success in the dating world.

My problem is this, what happens to the woman who is busy and business savvy that goes on one of these sites searching for a "needle in a haystack man" who is trying to be herself? She is sincere and open and when she asks questions or sees a possible red flag is shot down and demeaned by a man who knows very little about her, in fact he knows only what he assumes? Sure they fire away at you all the while they have just totally blown their one shot to possibly meet a really great woman who would in fact take and make the time for the right guy if and when he came along. What happens when you'd like to meet someone but your schedule is merely too busy, especially during holidays? What do we have to do to prove ourselves and even more so, WHY should we have to prove anything?

People lie on dating sites and it make my job and all of your whom are reading this even more difficult to explain yourself. Scammers and hypocrites are out there and they are taking away the one last chance some of us
work-a-holics have at possibly meeting someone without all that 'red tape' as I tend to call it. What happened to truth and honesty?
Most women are nothing less than a nice women with integrity. I guess some men want more. What must be considered as lying as far as online dating is concerned? It happens when you present yourself differently than who you really are. This includes your marital status, the kind of work you do, your physical appearance, your hobbies and interests, your relationship history, and other information that you put up on these sites. If we have nothing else at least we remain integral in our own lives, and if we keep the integrity alive within us all then we will eventually be shown into it. Because integrity's promise states that we will get what we deserve when it comes down to it, and we will manage to get whatever we want out of life if we can manage to keep our integrity intact. With integrity and belief we manage to keep out of trouble and keep our heads above water. If we manage to do this then we will get everything we deserve out of the game we crave so badly.

 Guys, this is for all of you who speak before you think....when it comes to life and love there are only two things that rally matter; integrity and honesty. Believe it or not they are what women look for without even realising that they do. If they learn what they need to about you then they will find out that you are exactly what they are looking for in a man, including the fact that you are the one and only ideal man for them. So don't be nervous to remain hospitable and keep your integrity as well as making off with what you want from them. This means, don't jump the gun and make assumptions. Make the best of what you have and ponder it for answers and results. It is pivotal that you remain guarded with your integrity intact. Want some FREE Advice? Be YOU..., yes that's right...BE 100% YOU! If someone doesn't like it, they certainly are not the one intended to share your time nonetheless your oxygen with.