If only you were a genie and you could have a crystal ball so that you would be able to predict not only the future but the reliability of your friendships with others what would it tell you? If you looked deep into the type of friendships that exist, you would be taken back to know that for so many of these so called 'friends' it's not about 'you' at all. Unfortunately, we only have a trial and error system that comes with pain, frustration and so very often.... heartache. What kind of friends do you have? For the most part, we should all have the type of friends that are there to pick up the pieces when we need them the most...but there are those that we think are our friends that are on their own self-path to destruction. These are the type of friends that will only bring you down and take the wind out of your sails. These are the type of friends that we don't need. I've listed a few types that you should be very aware of for a variety of reasons as I have listed examples.
Here are the top seven types of friends that spell TROUBLE:
1) The "Not So Party Party Pooper." Ok, now this friend is also known as The Wet Blanket or The Bubble Buster as I would call it. They seem to walk around with a huge rain cloud over their head that can darken even the brightest of days. If you've just received a promotion at work, they'll remind you of how the corporate grind will use you up and spit you out. If you found a awesome sale on a pair of Jimmy Choos they'll tell you where you could have bought them for much less. If you've fallen in love, they'll remind you of how horrible it is to be tied down like the old ball and chain. These types of friends will not share in your happiness so you might want to keep your good news to yourself. Tell me then? What the hell kind of friendship is this if you can't share your joys as well as your own ups and downs with this person?
2) The Wizard. You thought you had found your life-long best friend. Things were going great and the bond was amazing. You did everything together and then POOF, they disappeared. This "now you see them; now you don't" behavior is very hurtful as well as confusing to say the least, not to mention heart breaking. You'll question what you did wrong but you're baffled. When they suddenly reappear again, they have a new best friend.Sound familiar? You feel rejected and perhaps even a little bit jealous but quite honestly,their behavior has little to do with you. These friends are commitment phobic. They are always moving from one relationship to another. Their new best friend will be in your shoes in the near future. Tell me, is this the kind of friend that you want?
3) The Train Wreck. We all have at least one of these...I know that I do.You had no idea a person could have so many problems. This friend has you on speed dial. They will call you at all hours with problems ranging from relationship catastrophes to financial misfortune. Part of you feels sorry for this friend but another side of you is aggravated because even though they ask for your advice; they really don't want it nor do they truly listen to it. The Train Wreck is usually a very willful person who creates messes but refuses to take any responsibility, the immature one that would rather fall deep down into the state of depression or into an alcoholic stooper than get help. A great quote that I once heard was;"When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character." Remember, it is the character within each person that builds and shapes who they are and how the will reflect to others either by their personality or traits.
4) Here's a good one; The Promise Breaker. We all have one of these...I know it oh so well. You spend money for an event to do something nice for a friend, your anticipation is building throughout the week to do this fun event and then last minute they call and say "Oh hey, I can't get away" or even worse..."I have a date tonight with this new hot guy I met." What the hell? This is no friend...break your ties and say 'good riddens!' What you generally get from this type is the same old sayings...."I'll be there for sure. You can count on me. I won't let you down this time." Oh, but they do time and time again. This person makes a lot of promises but routinely breaks them or doesn't keep them at all. They are not reliable and won't be there when you need them. If you are guilty of this trust-breaking behavior, you should remember to promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise. I like this quote from Norman Vincent Peale; "Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once."
5) It's All About Me. OK, so you've just received bad news. You call your friend to tell them and gain their support. No sooner have you stated the situation to them, this friend says, "That's nice but hey...guess what happened to me today?" The "It's All About Me Friend" only wants to talk about themselves. These people are very self absorbed. This is a very one sided friendship. They only listen to you because they are waiting for their turn to speak. You'll probably get more emotional comfort from talking to your plants or your dog than calling this person.
6) The Spy/Back Stabber. These people infiltrate your life only to gain access to your assets or your information. They purposely pour on the charm to win you over. They tell you what you want to hear so that you will loosen up and spill the goods. You will notice these people ask a lot of questions and need to know everything. Their goal may be to use you to get close to someone else in your life; your boss, your sister, your dad and his connections. You'll spot these two faced deceivers by how they try to eavesdrop on your conversations and their intrusive questions to fill in the gaps of what they weren't able to overhear.These are not true friends. They are back stabbing bitches that have no room in your life whatsoever so get ride of them fast our they will only make your life miserable!
And last but not least....
7) The One Upper. You did it all, the unthinkable,...Ahhhh, but guess what, they did something even better! This friend is very competitive and has to be the best or at least have the best. They are typically overachievers. They seek attention where ever they can find it? Why? Besides the fact that they think that their shit doesn't stink, they are ruthless and have no idea what the word 'friendship' even means. They tend to build themselves up by making others feel inferior. They will often show off at your expense.True friends don't have to constantly impress each other. Friendships shouldn't be based on winning and losing. These friends need a lot of external validation but don't realize how they aggravate others by trying to be impressive. You can spot these friends whenever you tell a story. Their version tells how they did more and were better at it than you.
What kind of friend are you? Remember that character builds who you are. Your ethics and morals, those of which you were raised with will carry on as you grow and mature and mold you into the individual that you should be. My thoughts are the same now as they were 10 years ago...Just be YOU! Learn how to be the best friend that you can be and remember, actions often speak louder than words, so keep your foot out of your mouth and be the kind of friend that is loved by many. Be the friend that is always there for someone whether you live a block away or a continent away...
I truly have been blessed by the wonderful friends that I have in my life, and I am so grateful for each and every one of them.
"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." ~ Unknown
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