Chemistry, Love and Relationships...

So you meet this guy, and there is chemistry, lots and lots of chemistry...and you spend one incredible evening together. A few months go by and you connect again, and he wants to see you. You send him something as little as an email saying 'hi' or a text message and then you wait. You wait to see if he responds or he doesn't. If he doesn't then you know that you can chalk it it to a wonderful memory and move on. It has been said that men have certain innate needs that must first be met before they truly feel connected to you. Have you ever wondered how much of love is really and truly about the heart and how much is just about the good ole' hormones? Does real love really even exist anymore or is it something that hopeless romantics conjured up? What about this chemistry? Can you physically or mentally create it, or does it just happen?

Men have this certain image of what they want in a woman. He creates the illusion of a dream girl so to speak. Men adore the type of woman who is inspiring...it makes them want to be with her. She gets in touch with her most inner feminine side and finds just what buttons to push on his manhood scale that may just drive him nuts. She is the woman who even if he is not thinking about her all the time, he does subconsciously and it triggers something within to make him think about her. She is oh so playful, fun, and yet she has boundaries and does not badger or nag to get what she needs out of a relationship. She knows her true value and she wears confidence on her sleeve right next to hear heart. She doesn't settle for men who treat her badly or keep her guessing.

 Often, we push men away. Remember the movie the "Runaway Bride?" Why do women do this? Ahhh yes the million dollar question....Why? We operate out of fear. Fear that we will some how lose our man if we can't please him. Some women over analyze things and that is never good. Some woman often put her friends on hold for her man. I know you know or have been this woman at one time or another. Women often spend so much time doing things for the man and then there is no returning the favor. It can become a terrible cycle. She does more and more over and over again to please him and he does nothing to meet her in the middle. Here's the thing that you may not know ladies; every time you bend for him and do more and more for him and put your needs aside you are becoming his 'yes' girl. You are now setting yourself up for being taken for granted by this man and this is a big NO NO! 

What you want to do is to inspire him to want to be that same type of man for you! Men generally love making their woman happy...it's a rule of thumb for them that they stand by...when they find the right woman that makes them weak at the knees and soft in the heart. Here's a secret; men what to win the heart of a woman...but if it comes too easy, they may quickly lose interest or even pull away. What's a girl to do? Resist! Yes, that's right...resist him every now and again. This will make him work harder. DO NOT jump through hoops for a man. 

 Want to turn up the heat and really get this sizzling? Try doing romantic things for him. Men love the thrill of surprise. It's the unknown that they fantasize over and if you do something that they adore, they will have the moment of sheer fantasy locked within their mind so that when they go to sleep at night they replay it in their head over and over and over. What do you do to surprise him and show him the sensual you?  Pull out the stops ladies...show him that you can keep it real and kick it up a notch. Show him that fun and playful side,...you know, the one that he is going to remember longgg after he pulls out of your driveway after a fabulous sleepover. 

Suggestion? Trench coat, thigh highs and garters....that's it, nothing else. Need I say more? Tease him with seduction slowly...and make him ponder what you really have on underneath that coat.  It is alluring, enticing and get's their heart racing! My guess is that it will probably drive him absolutely crazy with desire for you. It also doesn't hurt to be a bad girl in the bedroom every now and again. It's all about teasing, and pleasing. Give them a taste...but never over do it. You want to give them a reason to come back.

 Truth is; men fall in love with your absence, not your presence. When they think about you, their imagination wonders...all in a good way. It's ok to resist him. If you have plans with family or friends, don't cancel just to be with him...apologize and tell him 'perhaps another night?' This form of resistance builds up the attraction more for the man. The bottom line is this; if you do not offer resistance, you are not at all a challenge, and girlfriend...men LOVE a challenge! Men want to fall in love, but they have to do it at their own pace and in their own way. 

So, how do you know if he is falling for you? You don't it just happens...and when it does you'll know and he will not be afraid to tell you how he has felt after all this time. Love is a happy experience, but love doesn't come about over night. It takes time and it grows. Physical appearance is paramount to many men, but certainly not at all the 'make or break a deal' kind of thing....however... that first kind of attraction you have together tells a lot about if you have what it takes to create something solid. Men are truthfully infatuated by women and if they want to get to know more about her, they will begin their pursuit. Want my non-professional advice? Love is not a race...you are not running a marathon, so darlin' give it time! Give them time to flirt, and then reciprocate to his advances. Take baby steps because you don't want to push him away!

Single Motherhood...and Dating Again

In today's society, and especially since my divorce over 13 years ago, I have learned that dating is not all that it is cracked up to be. It's stressful, and it makes me tired. You feel over worked, under medicated, and your body learns to run on caffeine!For some women after divorce, they want to take time to be alone. For many they need to regroup and reevaluate their life.  I needed to take the time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Now that I am on my own after years of playing the single mom role I am trying new things, and discovering a whole new ME. My children are grown and on their own enjoying life and following their happiness and their dreams, just as I raised them to. This mom is following hers just the same. I wanted to take a few minutes to share with all of you some tips for dating a 'single mom.'

If you're single and have children, let's face it...dating can be somewhat challenging. However, it's possible to be a great parent and still enjoy taking part in dating and developing close relationships with other adults. You have to make time for YOU! 

Read this and try these dating tips for single parents:

1. Vow to keep your parenting life and your dating life separate until appropriate. Consider your dating life as an activity you do the occasional evening as an adult social activity. It's not a meat market race to find your next husband. Take the time to really find who is right for you and who your children might like as well.

2. Strive to achieve a certain balance in your life. Ensure that how you spend your time on a day-to-day basis demonstrates your life's priorities. This is key to many men as they will want to see some form of independence in you. No man wants a clingy woman with a track record of loser men from her past. No drama mama is what I am trying to say....

3. Avoid involving your children with everyone you date. One of the most difficult things for a child after his parents separate is being exposed too soon to a parent's "new" partner.Kids don't need to know who this man/woman is UNLESS it begins to get serious. Introducing your kids to too many dates will only confuse them and make you look like a loose cannon floozie!

• Protect your kids from uncomfortable feelings by not involving them with your dates.
• Recognize that, even if you really like someone you've gone out with 2 or 3 times, you don't know for sure at that point that the relationship will "work out" and become long-term. If you involve your child and it doesn't work out, your child is again placed in the vulnerable position of feeling rejected, left behind and hurt.

4. Set limits regarding dating and parenting efforts with your children. Be upfront and honest about how much time you'll spend with someone you date.Your family comes first, they are your #1 priority. Don't forget that.

• For example, if you feel you can't be out past a certain time or can't go out two nights in a row because of your parenting duties, be open about it. Doing so shows you're clear and confident about what's important to you.

5. Share your feelings with the person you're dating. If you're disappointed you're unable to spend more time with the person you're dating, tell them.Otherwise they may think that you are looking for an easy way out.

• Also, this way, they'll know what you're going through and hopefully grow to understand your position as a parent who's striving to have a healthy social life.

6. Let your kids know that they're your first priority!!!!!!!!!!!!! Regardless of just telling them so, demonstrate through your behavior that you love your kids and are interested in all their activities.Don't stop being a mom. Your job, dear, is NEVER done. You took that oath when you have your children. A mothers job is never finished and you will be the rock that they lean on always, so get it right.

• Make a major effort to attend your kids' school functions and extracurricular activities, such as sports, dance and music recitals.

7. Every now and again.... talk with your children in general about your dating life. Tailor your talk based on the age of your children.

• Explain that you like to have fun with other adults and that there will be times that you go out with friends.I'm sure that they'll want you to be happy. (My kids pushed me to date and get out. Don't sit at home when you can be out meeting new people, but at the same time, once you meed someone, don't forget your family obligations.)
• Let them know a couple of days in advance that you'll be going out and share your plans with them to a certain extent. They don't need to know everything, but this way t assures them that you are in control of your life.

8. Your time out can be an opportunity to make life interesting and fun for your kids. For example, occasionally, let them stay over with Grandma and Grandpa or at your sisters, or BFFs when you have a date. Your kids most likely enjoy spending time with family or your friends.

• Or find a teenager close by that you know and trust. Usually, kids love to have teenagers for babysitters.
• As long as you know the kids will be well cared for and safe, make the time they spend without you fun.

This is your new time to shine....so enjoy life and dating! Don't make it a chore, make it a new experience! You can truly enjoy this time of your life. Even though you're a parent, you can set aside time to date. Make an effort to balance your single-parenting life and your dating life. You'll be happy that you did. Being a single mother is not easy, but it is rewarding, and you too will survive just as I did. Enjoy your family...they are your life, and they will become a reflection of YOU, so show them what good parenting is all about.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Wanted: One Great Single Guy

Do you ever wonder if there are any guys out there who are worth dating, and I mean, REALLY worth dating? If you tend to ask this question on more than just an occasion isn't it a question then that possibly every other woman is asking herself also? These great men,...I want to know...Where are they? And why can’t you find them? Oh, they’re out there - but maybe you’re looking in the wrong places.Take a step back and look at your habits, and where you go. Look at your life style and the places that you frequent. If you are spending all of your time in casinos, nightclubs and bars, honey, there is your problem. You have to step outside of the box and get practical or you'll end up with a hottie, but most likely a real asshole with an arrogant and flamboyant attitude. If you find a man that describes what I just did, sister, your better off sitting home on a Saturday night and watching a chick flick with a bottle of wine and Chinese food.

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE...You might even know a great guy right now, but you’re passing him by because you aren’t sure what you really want? Get with the program sister or someone else will steal him out from under your feet. My guess is; that are you’re letting yourself look for men the way you shop for shoes - changing your mind with each new trend or mood. 

Finding the right single man is not about pleasing your friends or a competition for attracting the hottest guy at the party. Finding the right single man only happens when you know what you want in a man.Think of man hunting like bargain hunting at a clearance sale. Sure, the neon orange skirt is 80% off the regular price, but where would you wear it? That conservative black suit is a classic, but your style is sporty and casual - it just doesn’t fit with the rest of your wardrobe. Buying another tank top that’s not your size won’t look any better because it’s on sale than the one you already have that shrank in the wash. Mr. Neon Orange may be easy to lead around, but he would never fit into your world. 

Mr. Conservative Black Suit runs with a more formal crowd than your flip flop loving crowd. Mr. Too-Tight Tank Top is just like Mr. Jerk that you spent months crying over last year - do you really want to do that again?

You have to know what you want in a man before you can find him. So take out a piece of paper and draw three columns. The left column is for “What’s Important,” middle column is for “Requirements” and right column is for “Preferences.” 

The “What’s Important” column includes such items as age, income, appearance, moral value, habits like smoking/drinking, common interests, sports, commitment style and family values. Don’t try to fit any particular guys into this list - not yet. Prepare this list with absolute honesty. Decide what characteristics are “must haves” (Requirements) and which are “like to haves” (Preferences). Until you know this information, you really can’t make a solid decision about any guy. Maybe you’ve ignored nagging requirements in order to accept a certain guy as he is. That’s a relationship red flag. 

If you’re a personal trainer who is into natural foods, you can make all the excuses in the world, but you won’t last with a guy who smokes and craves fatty fast foods 24/7. The conflict between what’s important to him and what’s important to you means that one of you has to change. Don’t count on changing him. If you change your beliefs, how much of yourself gets lost? Over time, you’ll either resent him or resent yourself - the conflict in inevitable. Knowing what you want is the fair way to date.I dated a guy once that told me that I was bad for him because I was eating unhealthy. What did I do? I tried, and made a great effort to change my poor eating habits for me, not for him, and I began looking good...was he grateful? Apparently not...oh, and did I mention that he stepped out on my patio to smoke often? And he thought that wasn't unhealthy especially with some of the serious health issues this guy had? Really? He was going to make me feel bad? I don't think sooooo.....

Listen,....Why waste your time (and his) when the foundational elements aren’t there? It’s also important to be honest with yourself about the type of man that you really want. When you know how to describe him, you’ll have an easier time recognizing him when you meet him. Knowing what type of man it is that you not only want, but deserve is the difficult part just the same as finding him...you first must be ready for a relationship and open minded. Where you meet him and when is fate...at least that's what my grandmother used to call it. In today's day and age though, with much luck from online dating sites, things are made a bit easier for us aren't  they? Maybe you already know him - you just didn’t know yourself! Maybe it's time to give someone a chance and see what happens? Perhaps this is finally your time? Embrace it and take a chance...

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.

Safety Measures for Online Dating

In this great land of opportunity, we have such easy access to men and women at the touch of our finger tips. Yes, Online dating. But,...do we know everything about this? If you don't this is a good article to read. Keep in mind that what you read on a profile may or may not be of the truth, so use discretion and keep it safe. Regardless of how wonderful he or she may come across online, they may fool you in person.

For the sake of my research… I signed up to a couple of different websites to see what the fuss was all about. I set up on the popular free website PlentyOfFish.com. There’s different features depending on what site you sign up to, ranging from simple profile/message setup to full personality test and compatibility matching systems. The point of interest though is not all the different ways you can waste your time setting up your profile, it’s the people you come across whilst ‘browsing’. Be careful. There are buttons to block people that you don't want to contact you, such as 'married.' Ladies, if you are single and want a single man, I hate to tell you but a man (not all but many) will lie through their teeth, say whatever you want to hear for the sake of possibly having the opportunity to get in your britches! To these men who ruin if for all the rest of the guys out there I say....WHY? If you are looking for a quick lay, or an easy hook up, there is a dive bar on every corner, why not go there and find Ms Right Now? You would be surprised at the amount of men that wrote me. Word to the wise boys, don't tell a woman that she has a nice ass, or a nice rack, tits, etc. Rude and unexcusable....because chances are you've just been blocked. Next!

I’d say I’ve had my fair share of interest, but that’s not to say the overall system is flawed. There’s a common misconception that internet dating is exclusively used by people who lack the social skills or charisma to meet people in day-to-day life, or simply lack the confidence to approach a member of the opposite sex in person. I don’t think online or internet dating is a bad thing, and I’ve met some amazing people by striking up conversation. I have friends who are in great relationships as a result of online dating. For me, some chats have led further than others and some enjoyable encounters have ensued. But my god… there’s so much about it that’s just downright frustrating that it’s a wonder it leaves anyone with any sanity!

 No one wants a crazy loony stalker on their hands so follow the tips below;

1. Do Not Give Out Personal Information - Whether it’s via email, online chat rooms, message boards, in your personal ad, etc., do not disclose your personal information like your complete name, address, telephone number, work place, etc. And use a third party email address instead of one with your domain or work domain, too, that is easily traceable. For example, instead of using Michele@seniortimes.com , set up an email account like Michele@yahoo.com or Michele@gmail.com (search “free email accounts for places like this). Preferred dating sites offer email forwarding so that members do not see private information like this. So if you are on one that differs or makes you uncomfortable, move along and click elsewhere.

2. Do Not Lie - Be up front about your age and appearance. Better to not be caught in lies later on or lead someone on falsely. No one wants to have that feeling in their stomach of excitement to meet this beautiful person to only wait for that day when they walk through the door and look 40 pounds heavier and nothing like their photos appeared online.

3. Be Tactful and Leary - Do not believe everything you read in posts, in emails: in general online. You could be chatting with a child or someone faking their sexual orientation. The odds are that you will probably encounter someone a tad “undesirable” from time to time, so try to use appropriate replies, using tact, or ignore the encounter, if it suits the situation.

4. Use Caution in Sharing Images - Whenever you think about sharing a digital photo online, keep in mind that it may be possible for thousands to see it on the Internet, not just one person. Plus your photo can be copied, altered with different software out there today and posted elsewhere. If you do use your image, send one that shows you with a warm smile, not a frown.

5. Ask if Unsure - Go slow like the tortoise in the race with the hare and ask questions if you are unsure how to proceed in your contact and communications. Contact the site owner or webmaster (check for contact info when you register), ask trusted friends for helpful resources, check with local authorities. Remember that old adage, “Better safe than sorry!”

6. Be careful if you decide to meet for the first date. Remember there is safety in numbers, so meet in a public place with other friends around.

7. Keep copies of communications in a file so that you can show friends or the law in case your meeting or continued contact takes a bad turn. And do report any problems and cooperate with authorities. They can get information from your computer and communications to aid in tracking down culprits in some cases. Don’t try to take matters into your own hands and stalk the culprit yourself, though. Be safe.

8. Let men instigate online and offline relationships. Men still like to pursue. Online studies show that this has proven safer, too, with Internet dating. Men should make the first email move. And women should not generally reply to men’s ads; let the men pursue. (Sorry guys!)

9. So that you don’t appear anxious or desperate or both, generally wait for a day or 24-hour period before replying. And forget about replying on weekend and holidays, at least at first, and being available via instant messaging. This is especially important for women (double standards are still around and even exist in the Internet dating scene) – you want to “appear” socially active, confident, even if you are just laying around on your couch watching "Life Time" movies.

10. Don’t date someone who is already married to someone else – even if that person says he or she is getting a divorce. Let the divorce happen first. Otherwise things could get ugly. And you may even have to face the spouse / ex-spouse and children down the road. So think of others, too, when even considering someone who is not single.

 If after several emails or letters you decide to talk on the phone, keep the first call short, around 10 minutes. Don't tell them your life story...be private, you don't know them, so don't open up so fast. Plan to have to “rush” off. Your goal is to hear the person’s voice and talk a short while only, not seeming over anxious.Some men do complain that the ladies do not reply. So ladies, reply! At least say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Remember, don't buy it before you try it! Make this person prove their self worth and integrity to you.

http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/

Where to Look for LOVE?

Day after day I am asked....Where are the best places to look for love? Many people wonder...is it even possible to find real love anymore? how do you know if you're doing the right things? What if you're doing the wrong things? How does one really, truly know where and how to look for love? We certainly don't want to be looking in "all the wrong places!" Have you tried everything to attract men, yet seem to fall flat on your face each time? It's true - looking for someone to love is much different for us, today, than it was for our parents and grandparents. Let's face it guys and gals, times are certainly changing! If finding a great match seems impossible, don't give up hope! You're talking to a hopeless romantic herself, and I believe that it happens when you least expect it to. There are plenty of opportunities to find someone to fall in love with someone....don't rush it. It may not happen today or even tomorrow, but one day when you least expect it, love will come knocking on your door.

The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no fail-proof tricks, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right. There are however some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that – tips, not one-size-fits-all guarantees. Different tacks will work for different people. It depends on the situation, who we are, where we are in our lives, etc. However, there are some threads of advice that are fairly universal and can benefit anyone who practices them:

If you want to meet someone in your immediate area, you could just be in luck. If you attend religious services, or if you take classes, you are very likely to meet someone compatible at your place of worship or at school.Coffee houses, book stores, and even the local supermarket can be good places to find guys too - it's just a matter of being in the same place at the same time. If you like a certain place and enjoy hanging out there, you're very likely to see others, including men, who are frequently there at the same time as you are. Don't leave it up to the guy! Strike up a conversation if you are attracted to someone. Some of the best catches are still out there just because nobody has been brave enough to initiate a conversation. Now is your moment to step up to the plate, take a deep breath and go for it.

Before you go for it though,....get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won’t work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.If you want the modern day way to find love...take a peek into the internet dating sites! They are a great way of browsing profiles and saying hello to someone. Match.com has been around for years. Christian Mingle.com is a good one, but this morning as I sat and watched "The Live with Kelly Show" she had Carrie Ann Inaba as a co-host on (a judge on Dancing with the Stars) and Carrie spoke of how she met her husband to be on Eharmony.com! What a great way to advertise for them, and she wasn't getting paid by them for it, she was simply expressing where she found true love. The only thing that really stuck out was "BE HONEST" in your profile. If she could find a man by stating "Crazy Cat Lady" so can you! She found a man who also loves cats and is a hard working business man. I sat as I watched this show and thought ..."Wow~!" At Simply Delicious Lingerie, I encourage you to be confident and go after what you want. Remember confidence comes for feeling good within, all the way down to the lingerie you wear everyday. Dress yourself up and feel sexy. People will take notice!

The most important thing in dating is JUST BE YOURSELF, BE HONEST, and take one day at a time!

Dating...It's all about Honesty and Integrity

Let’s talk a bit about dating, honesty and integrity today. Integrity is really related to honesty, and I think that integrity is really the benchmark of what determines whether you are a good or bad person. Now lets talk about lies and dating. They've always gone together like birds of a feather.  As sad a it is, lying has gotten even easier with the anonymity of online dating. So who's really lying on dating sites and what lies are they telling?

When I searched for the real facts I was crushed to think that you could not find a good person on a dating site, so I tried it myself. Truth is, most men walk the walk but surely do not talk the talk. When it comes to online dating, there is one cardinal truth that you must keep in mind - almost everyone out there is lying. This is not done purposely to misrepresent facts, but to build a profile that would impress the opposite sex and hence lead to success in the dating world.

My problem is this, what happens to the woman who is busy and business savvy that goes on one of these sites searching for a "needle in a haystack man" who is trying to be herself? She is sincere and open and when she asks questions or sees a possible red flag is shot down and demeaned by a man who knows very little about her, in fact he knows only what he assumes? Sure they fire away at you all the while they have just totally blown their one shot to possibly meet a really great woman who would in fact take and make the time for the right guy if and when he came along. What happens when you'd like to meet someone but your schedule is merely too busy, especially during holidays? What do we have to do to prove ourselves and even more so, WHY should we have to prove anything?

People lie on dating sites and it make my job and all of your whom are reading this even more difficult to explain yourself. Scammers and hypocrites are out there and they are taking away the one last chance some of us
work-a-holics have at possibly meeting someone without all that 'red tape' as I tend to call it. What happened to truth and honesty?
Most women are nothing less than a nice women with integrity. I guess some men want more. What must be considered as lying as far as online dating is concerned? It happens when you present yourself differently than who you really are. This includes your marital status, the kind of work you do, your physical appearance, your hobbies and interests, your relationship history, and other information that you put up on these sites. If we have nothing else at least we remain integral in our own lives, and if we keep the integrity alive within us all then we will eventually be shown into it. Because integrity's promise states that we will get what we deserve when it comes down to it, and we will manage to get whatever we want out of life if we can manage to keep our integrity intact. With integrity and belief we manage to keep out of trouble and keep our heads above water. If we manage to do this then we will get everything we deserve out of the game we crave so badly.

 Guys, this is for all of you who speak before you think....when it comes to life and love there are only two things that rally matter; integrity and honesty. Believe it or not they are what women look for without even realising that they do. If they learn what they need to about you then they will find out that you are exactly what they are looking for in a man, including the fact that you are the one and only ideal man for them. So don't be nervous to remain hospitable and keep your integrity as well as making off with what you want from them. This means, don't jump the gun and make assumptions. Make the best of what you have and ponder it for answers and results. It is pivotal that you remain guarded with your integrity intact. Want some FREE Advice? Be YOU..., yes that's right...BE 100% YOU! If someone doesn't like it, they certainly are not the one intended to share your time nonetheless your oxygen with.