Ladies, most of us at one time or another have all questioned how good we are in bed, well, maybe not all of us, so women think they are the bomb-diggity...but are they really or is their ego as big as some of the men they date and they just think that they are sexual dynamos under the sheets? Do you ask yourself if you are a good lover? Sure, you say you are, but if you were to ask a few of your ex's, what would they say? What if their they may have a different opinion? Many women think that they were really incredible only to find out later that what the man thought was that they were a real dud...that's right, not fizzle to sizzle!
If you'd like to be just as good (bad) as these women, here are your tips for you to follow: DO NOT do these things...,did you hear me DO NOT! (otherwise you'll earn the lousy lover award)
1) Taking ex-lover's opinions
Any guy that wants to play sheet-hockey with you is going to tell you how great you are. I'm sorry, but the guy lies to you not to hurt you, but to prevent you from being an even worse - or scarce - lover. Men have enough to worry about with just getting good sex to add to it.
Here's a bottom line you should adopt: don't use the salesman's opinion to judge the quality of the product. Of course men are going to tell you that you're awesome! Sweetheart, they just got laid...they are just glad to have sex!
2) Now...assuming you're good in bed
Every woman I know thinks she's a great kisser and at least decent in bed. In fact in my experience, less than 10% are either. You don't have to take my word for this however, according to my own research; most other men put the number at around the same place!
Assuming that you're already skilled can actually prevent you from gaining the skills you really should have. Being "confident, but curious" will take you to that glorious 10% very quickly. Moral of the story...never assume anything!
3) Not knowing your own sexuality
Many, many women don't focus on their own sexuality and assume that a man will come along to teach them everything they should know. Don't believe it. It is YOUR job to learn about your own sexuality so that you bring this to the table in a relationship. After all, if you don't understand your own sexuality - what works for you, what doesn't and what else you want to explore - how are you ever going to communicate this to your lover? Some men may stay in a relationship with a lousy lover, but they are forever constantly think about how it'd be with someone else. If you think that takes the pressure off of you fine, but don't be surprised when your lover decides he want to taste a little of that other fruit.
Now is the time to take a little time for yourself and evaluate. The key to really understanding your own needs - and getting comfortable with them! This can be a powerful source growth if you use it that way.
4) A lack of experience
If you're saving yourself for marriage or for some knight in shining armor, just consider what you're going to have to give when it or he finally arrives. I can't tell you how many women just assume that everything will be incredible - and how many relationships break up because it's not.
Not many men these days want virgins (but some do). For those of us with some experience, we realize that this is just too much work! Men don't want to have to spend the next 5 years helping a woman just get in touch with her own sexual side - she should bring this to the relationship in the first place!
You've no doubt heard that sex "isn't the most important part of a relationship" and while that may be true, it's in the top 3! Why would you spend so much of your time working on becoming the woman of your man's dreams, only to fail where it's most important to him?I'm not saying that you should go out and screw every guy you meet, but you should see every sexual relationship you are in as a chance to grow your own skills for that guy that finally does sweep you off your feet. Doesn't he deserve this from you? (Answer: yes, he does!)
5) Reading books and articles written by women about what men want in bed
If I want to learn about car maintenance, I don't usually go to a guy that sells books and ask. I'll go right to the mechanic. Women spend countless hours reading articles and books written by other women about how to satisfy men sexually. The trouble with this is that many of these women are just as inexperienced! Many men look at these articles too and most of them honestly just roll their eyes.
6) Not communicating
If man asks you what you like in bed, NEVER give the answer, "Oh, I like just about everything!" It's a cop-out and we all know it. Being with someone sexually is an opportunity to get your needs met - and to explore new ones. You can only do this by communicating honestly, openly and without embarrassment.
7) Not asking
Wouldn't you love to hear your partner ask you, "Honey, is there anything you really want that you haven't told me?" Very few of the men are the insecure jackasses that women make them out to be. If you know you want something, most men will almost always find a way to give it to you.
8) Complaining
When you ask for something and get it - even if it's not exactly right - don't complain. There are far better ways to improve things! That especially means right in the middle of sex. NEVER, EVER EVER do that.
Recommendations are taken far better than simply complaining about something. If you tell men what you want, they may still not exactly understand it from your perspective, but they'll try most of the time. Women are much more complicated than men in this department. As If men know that we want something, they will almost always try to give it to you. If it's not exactly what or how you like it, then you need to help them to understand it. trust me on this one, you'll be the benefactor!
On the other hand, if you simply complain, get used to the idea that you're not going to get what you want - and it'll be your own fault.
9) Lack of enthusiasm
If you think holding back is the way to get us to be more interested in you, let me set you straight on this: it won't work. We'll simply find someone that won't hold back and leave you wondering what happened.
Your sexual enthusiasm also communicates your interest in us. That doesn't mean you have to bounce off the walls, but at least be interested in sex and want to grow with us. We'll return the favor in ways you can't imagine.
10) Being self-conscious
I know, I know, you're worried about the lighting, mood and every other little issue:
"Does my hair look good?"
"Am I making enough noise?"
"Am I making too much noise?"
"Does this pillow make my ass look big?"
Listen, if you make it a habit of doing any of these in #10....you've got some shaping up to do. No man wants to hear women whine and pout. Suck it up sister and get your confidence game going.
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