Sunday, March 25, 2012

Why is Finding A Partner So Difficult?

Why is life so difficult and why is finding the right partner like pulling teeth? Where do we go for  the right answers to so many questions? Sometimes I'm not the easiest person to get along with but I have qualities that any man (or so you would think) would love, honor and appreciate. So many woman like myself feel that time after time they are beating their heads against a wall trying to figure men out. Why is it that it's OK when they do something but not us? Why is it that they should be forgiven yet not us, and why is it that they shouldn't be held accountable for their actions, and by this it also includes things that they say in times in which they might be shall we say,... less coherent or alcoholically challenged/under the influence? Why can men beat up on woman with no remorse? Is it acceptable? Stabbing a woman in the back is just as bad as slapping her in the face. Your actions hurt people. Are you aware of this? My guess is, absolutely not! Why do people overlook situations like these and so many others?

Lets face the facts...dating and marriage is a whole lot different than it was twenty some years ago. In today’s society, more than 50% of all marriages fail for one reason or another. Just thinking about that makes “commitment” seem scary doesn't it? It seems that when relationships are faced with challenges, people quit trying. Why do people give up so easily? Is it because they are looking for perfection, they have bad habits, they like doing things that you don't like to do so you feel it will hurt your relationship in the long run, or because they worry that their family members won't accept them? 

These days, dating is more like a marathon, not simply trying to date as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time. I ask myself, is it really worth it? It's bad enough that we get stabbed int the back by our own family members but now we have to worry about the whole "he said she said mumble jumble crap!" It makes you tired doesn't it? Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life or are you ready to say, "hey, I care about you." Words should be chosen wisely, and quite carefully. Never ever ever say that you love someone whether you are sober or complete opposite, crocked off your rocker because your actions have an adverse affect on people and what you just said (in a drunken moment of passion) can ruin a really good relationship that was for so long built on a childhood friendship. Is it really worth it? No. Do people have regrets? I believe that they do, sure they do. Do we all make mistakes? Sure we do...then have the balls to stand up and admit that you were wrong (if you were) and make things right. It's time to be the bigger person and say "Hey, I'm sorry!"

Take the time to get to know someone at a deeper level. The fact is that relationships, whether dating or married, are hard. Things do not always go perfectly, fighting does occur, and it takes a 100% commitment from both parties to make it a success. Often when people break off a relationship, they feel as though something is missing. The “spark” has gone, leaving one or both people feeling inadequate and unfulfilled, or maybe there is a spark missing. Guess what folks, you'll never find that one true person that has everything you want and if you think that you will find Mr. or Ms Perfection, I'd love to hear about it because it rarely happens. 

Stop picking someone apart that you are 75% compatible with and learn to do the things that he or she likes to do that consume the other 25% of the relationship/friendship. Relationships are after all about compromise. Unless you want to be alone forever, you need to lighten up and enjoy life. You have to learn how to open up, trust this person and share a little piece of your heart with them because only then will you experience true happiness.



www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com




8 comments:

  1. Dear Michele,

    I felt a little bit of shall we say "too close to home" feeling there in this article and I want to commend you for always feeling so freely in sharing your life with so many strangers. You may not know it but you do have an enlightening effect on people. A group of us at work in Chicago stand around the water cooler talking up your blogs. We adore you for many reason, but mostly because you are REAL. Your stories are not fabricated, they are real experiences, and they are filled with love.

    You make us smile and forget about our shitty boss we have to go back to work for when our break is over!!!

    We love you! Keep on Blogging!

    The Gals of Ohio Street,
    Chicago Illinois

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  2. Ms Michele,

    You are my morning cup of coffee, my ray of sunshine if you will...I read your blogs religiously and must say, they are heartfelt. With each new story you write whether it be about losing 5 inches or saving a marriage, you can feel "heart" in it. Not everyone has the ability to transform ordinary everyday words into story lines like you do with such success. I love when you throw in silly sayings or grandma quotes...Love love love it! Just wanted to say thank you for starting my day off with such high hopes!

    Daphney McHaden
    Kilkenny Ireland

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  3. If we could bottle your energy that you put into your daily blogs, and substitute it for gasoline in our cars there would never be a shortage. You are a supply and demand kinda gal. People everywhere love you.

    I took the time last weekend to read over 300+ comments that people wrote about you and your blogs and I must admit that I was not at all surprised that you are loved by so many people all over the world. You have a gift MsDelicious, don't ever lose it!

    Carrie H
    Trelleborg,Sweden

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  4. Dear Michele, we like the gals of Ohio Street in the "Windy City" referenced in the comment above love love loveeeeee your blog! We admire your strengths and support your weaknesses. There is nothing more touching than to read something emotion that someone has experienced (Walk a Mile in My Shoes) comes to mind. That article was wonderful.

    You embark on subjects that some people would never dare to go to and your are open and honest, which lets face it, is rare in this day and age. We bring out the big guns (your articles) at Happy Hour every Thursday night (girls night) in Dallas TX! You are an inspiration.We raise our glasses to you! We love you like a sister, keep those blogs coming!

    Candice W,
    Dallas Texas

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  5. Relationships are not easy, you sure are right on that one...but, everyone deserves to be with someone. I think that there is an over-kill on what is expected from partners. We have demands that cannot be met and our stress levels are on overdrive. That "right" person could very well be standing right in front of you just waiting for you to realize that he/she is the one you belong with.

    What are you waiting for? Do you know that had I not taken this risk and put my heart on the line 40 years ago, my husband would have married someone else? Without him, my life would not be complete, and yes Miss Michele, you are dead on when you stated that if your personalities don't mesh, that's ok, they may not, as you said no two people are perfect. We all have faults and we all have a past.

    I reluctantly get an adrenaline rush when I read your articles! BRAVO MISS MICHELE! You are loved in our household.

    Edith Barberton,
    Cranston, Rhode Island

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  6. Michele,

    I read the comments posted to this article and must say, I love the one about the "shitty boss in chicago!" I'm sure that writing to you comes natural? I'm sure that your life has not always been easy, yet you seem live life with compassion. Your feeling are brought to life in so many of your blog posts that it makes on feel as if she were truly walking in your shoes.

    I commend you for doing the whole single mother routine. My sister is doing it now and she struggles. I've shared a few of your articles with her as she, like yourself was married to a great guy. Hers after 12 years and 3 children recently threw in the towel and just said forget it. My sisters dreams were shattered and like you her family was turned upside down. You've taught her to take the bull by the horns. She wanted to build a business some day and now with your open heart and inspiration words, she is following "her heart" as you say all the time. Dreams are real and you are a true testament of this. My sister Audrey is a completely different person and she has taken on the 'super woman' persona that you adapted to.

    Thank you for being you! You are one in a million, and whether you realize it or not, you touch a lot of peoples lives.

    Elizabeth C
    Caselberry, FL

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  7. I totally agree with everyone that wrote to you Ms Michele in the comments above. You are a savvy business woman, a friend, and you have a big heart. Some man will certainly be lucky when he does find you! I know that you attribute your successes to many things but could you narrow it down for me? I am a single mom at age 45 and have a son starting college this fall and another son next year 2013. How did you do it? What do I need to do to prepare? I read your articles, especially the much earlier ones and feel that I am following your pattern in life. You have given me hope that good things do come to those who wait. I sincerely do appreciate you and admire your courage. Single mother, cancer survivor and small business owner. They say that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I see that you are living proof! keep the blogs coming. At the end of the night you are what I read. Even if I had a bad day, your words always seem to make me smile before going to bed.

    Marilyn Deevers
    Ripley, Missouri

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  8. Your article is great! I loved it! Relationships aren't easy, but practice makes perfect!

    Gary Lemmons
    Mesquite, NV

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