What are Misunderstandings?

mis·un·der·stand·ing   n.

1. A failure to understand or interpret correctly.

2. A disagreement or quarrel.

You can please some of the people some of the time - it is impossible to make everyone happy all the time, and if you can, please, by all means, I beg of you to tell me how the hell you did it?  The same can be said about communication between friends.  There are times when you find that you are in tune with your friends, where you might not even have to finish each other’s sentences because you can just tell what the other person is meaning. 

Effective Communication

Conversing with others is not difficult, and other people’s responses to your comments and questions says a lot about whether or not they find what you say to be of value.  That said, do you find yourself frequently misunderstood among your peers?  Perhaps you need to take a look at your communication skills.  Are you being clear about the points you are making?  If not, how can you reword what you said so that it can be understood?  Another part of communication is in watching how others respond, and being able to spend ample time listening to them in turn.  No one likes the person who hogs the spotlight - they eventually tune him out and walk away.  when your friends see that you are just as interested in what they have to say as you are in sharing your views with them, they will want to stick around.

I think that too many people in today's hurried and rushed society are on the go so much that they miss leads, they lose touch with friends, and they haven't the time for anything honestly because they are just simply too busy. Do you have friends or family like this? If you do then you can relate. I want to bring something up. A few weeks ago I was speaking with someone who is a close friend of mine, and she has been for years. She and I used to keep in touch often, then she started dating someone and her friends instantly took a back seat.

Although I am quite happy for my friend, the situation is still this; if you are too busy, I'd rather not hear from you at all. Instead, I received a generic email that was addressed to myself and 7 other friends that basically said "Hi, I miss you, how are you, what have you been up to, and drop me a line." OK, some of you might think that was OK, as for myself? TOTAL slap in my face. Listen, you you care about your family and friends like you say you do, make the time to individually email or call them, even if it is only for 5 minutes. Where did this email leave me? Angry, hurt and not wanting to speak to her. When you have friends, you always make the time to listen. I did nothing BUT listen to her 3 weeks ago when she made a confession to him and he was ready to dump her ass. I stood by her and tried my best to give comfort as no one knows better than I what it is like to get your heart torn out through your chest over a relationship gone south. Advice my friend; don't make that stupid mistake again, or you won't get a response from me, ever. Are we all taking the "back seat" now that lover boy is in the picture? You bet we are. I am not one to hold a grudge, so as always I overlook others unethical morals, forgive them, for they know not what they do, and they think that they are the ONLY one that this tragedy has happened do. No clue....they have no clue., but they will learn.

Of course, there are some times when your are misunderstood because of who you’re with - this is the case with friends who are not familiar with specific hobbies you have, or perhaps even lingo you use for the industry in which you work. It in no way implies that your friends are dense, but it just means that you have to tailor your conversation accordingly.  Do you really need to show off about what you know to your friends who have no knowledge of what you’re talking about? What should I have done, rather than avoid her like the plague, which wasn't took hard to do because my Sprint phone works when it wants to...was that I should have laid my cards on the table and told her how I felt about the email. Now she thinks I'm mad. Mad? No, disappointed? Yes! My friend should have understood what she had just done, and how we all must have felt. She doesn't like it when someone does it to her, and now she went and did it. Why? To busy, and no time.

Something that I learned during my marriage was never to say good bye to your true friends.  You should always keep the lines of communication open. If you spouse doesn't like your friends (these men/women that have been your friends for what seemed like a lifetime....) perhaps you need to ask why, and look into his/her past? Maybe they are hiding something giving them reason not to like your friends?

Maybe they're prefer you have stupid friends that didn't ask too many questions. Don't do what I did. I walked away from good friends because he didn't like them. I wanted to please him. Guess what I learn? It's bullshit. If he can't accept your friends, that's too bad. If he leaves you with nothing more than a serious ultimatum, walk away....because somewhere down the line my friend, like I found out 15 years into a marriage, he/she will turn on you and you're friends will be long gone leaving you alone and feeling deserted.

It's never to late to fix your wrong doings....so what are you waiting for. Do It! Don't let good friends go because of a silly man/woman. Listen to your gut, and to your heart. At least I've been given a second chance to start anew with my friends. Since moving back home, I have made it a point to contact them, take them to lunch, and try to say I am sorry for abandoning them when they needed me most.

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