Relationships: Why Men Choose to Lie to Women

From the time I was a young girl, I was raised to tell the truth, to be open, honest and I learned that communication was key. I watched my parents live a lifetime of love and open communication. I learn from the best. In essence, this certainly prepared me for my more mature days nonetheless, there were many things that I did not learn, that I was very naive of and that I still to this day DO NOT understand. This article is about the role a man plays when he enters into a relationship knowing that he is keeping the truth from his partner. Why do men choose to lie? When I say partner, I do not mean a long time lover, girlfriend, etc. This man could be a guy you have only dated once or twice. he is the man who has every option to be up front,...to lay his cards on the table and the one who holds the cards to a certain degree...so WHY then, can he not just tell the truth? Are they afraid of commitment, or getting caught if they are in a relationship with someone else, or married, which is even worse? This is about why men lie, or bend the truth. John Le Carre once said; "Betrayal can only happen if you love." I totally disagree.

From the time a man opens his yap even if it is on a first text, phone call, or date; if he hides the truth, (if he is in a relationship already or has a wife) he is being dishonest from the get-go. Here's my thoughts; why not just be honest and allow the woman to make a decision based on his honest statement? Because that is far too easy, and he doesn't want to risk getting caught. Guess what fellas? Women are not as stupid as you think. I did not believe in ever prying into a mans life, nor did I feel that I should have to do research on him prior to a date, that was then, this is now.

You don't buy a house or a car without doing research on the product, so why in the hell would you jump into a solid relationship or date a man more than once if you didn't take the test drive first to find out if the goods are really priceless? Do you have doubts? Are things not adding up? Does he like to text and rarely talk? Are your meetings at his convenience and not yours? Does he leave you hanging and just disappear while in a conversation via text, phone, chat or email? Is he lying to you? Are you feeling uneasy? Do you need answers? I have several ways to dig for the truth, but lets start with something easy shall we? In today's society, the internet is your best friend, so learn how to use your resources! Try this; Google his name. See what comes up? Paper trails are easy to follow when people are messy and stupid. If you wish to get more in depth; use this source. 1) Enter His Email Address 2) See Hidden Pics & Social Profiles Now! Spokeo.com/Find-Cheaters


Who is this man and what kind of guy does this? He is probably the man that no one would ever expect to do such a thing. He is that one man who is probably the perfect son, brother, boyfriend, husband or partner. He is the man who sweeps in and gets under your skin and before you know it you are an emotional basket case of feelings...What you didn't know what that In some form or another, and through concealment and or much fabrication, he was or is deceptive to you.

Let's face it, deception plays a role in all of our relationships. Most people, however, do not like to acknowledge this, especially when it comes to love and romance. Every now and then, people discover something about a romantic partner which makes the issue of lying impossible to ignore. Making such a discovery can be unsettling because it violates our basic notions about intimacy and trust. It is not fun to think about the lies people tell to those they love. Nonetheless, at the same time, people tend to be curious about the topics which couples try to hide and conceal from each other.


Relational Issues

• Time Together - people lie about the reasons why they can't spend time together or see each other ("I am so busy, I have so much work to do, I don't have time right now")....
• Past Relationships - partners lie about their past level of involvement ("I never really loved her," "I am much closer to you," "I love you so much more than anyone else")...
• Feelings, Interest, Crushes, and Attraction to Others - people lie about their feelings and interest in others - often includes ex-partners, friends, someone at work...
• Secret Contact - lovers lie about their friendships, time spent with others, accidental encounters (running into ex), phone calls, e-mails, and text messages with others. Essentially people lie about intimate, but non-sexual contact with someone else...
• Level of Commitment – people lie about their feelings for partner, uncertainty or doubts about the relationship - not sure really love or want to marry partner or stay together...
• Flirting with Others - people lie about flirting with others...
• Betraying Confidences - lovers lie to each other about keeping secrets confidential...
• Hide Time with Others - people hide activities and time spent with others - usually friends or coworkers...

Sexual Issues

• Sexual Fantasies – lovers conceal having sexual fantasies about others during sex. Or thinking about sex with someone else - usually the fantasy involves a partner's friend, family member, or a co-worker...
• Sexual History - lovers lie about the number of past partners, unsafe sex practices, what they have and have not done with others, their virginity, having an abortion, childhood abuse...
• Infidelity and Cheating - spouses lie about having sex with other people... sometimes it involves issues of paternity...
• Sexual Orientation - some people lie about same sex contact or interest...

Negative Thoughts

• Negative Feelings towards Partner’s Family/friends - people lie about liking other people who are important to a partner...
• Negative Feelings about Partner’s Physical Appearance - lovers lie about liking their partner's appearance, hair, weight, age, clothes...
• Negative Feelings about Partner’s Career - people lie about liking or respecting their partner's job, school, career choices...
• Negative Feelings about Partner’s Behavior/character - lovers lie about liking their partner's kids, habits, personality, sense of humor...

Negative Behaviors

• Drug Use - lovers lie about past or current drug use...
• Alcohol Consumption - partners lie about alcohol consumption...
• Smoking - people lie about smoking...
• Gambling - lovers lie about gambling...

Differences

• Hide Important Beliefs - lovers lie about true feelings on issues (i.e., politics, religion, pets) in order to get along with partner...
• Enjoyment of Activities - people lie about enjoying things a partner likes to do...

Financial Issues

• Resources - people lie about their income, resources, inheritance...
• Debt - lovers lie about their level of debit...
• Spending Habits - people lie about how they spend money...

Insecurities

• Physical Appearance/health - people lie about age, weight, health...
• Jealously - lovers lie about being jealous and snooping...
• Career Performance - partners lie about how well work, school, career is going...
• Family and Friends - lovers lie to make family and friends seem better...
• Love and Emotions - people lie to their partners about feeling vulnerable, scared, and being overly emotional...

 My grandmother once told me that the truth shall set you free. So why then is it so damn difficult for a man to just tell the truth? Fiction is far more believable. Well, we woman do have a tendency to refuse to believe something that is just too "easy" to be true. Poor men, where do they go at such a time. If they say the truth, they will be constantly questioned. So, they make up a more complex lie, and the women tend to fall for it! I believe that many men exaggerate about themselves in order to put up a proud front before women. They feel that if a woman discovers a "truth", about them, they might lose a woman's attention. Men might continue to do so, until one fine day, when their lies are chanced upon.

Often a man is not exactly lying, but he is not completely honest either. He will say the acceptable part of the truth and very conveniently "forget" about the unacceptable part of it; like he may say that he took a friend out for shopping, but he may just omit the part where his "friend" is actually his ex-girlfriend. Let's face it; if you are his girlfriend or wife, you would at least frown at the concept. So, to keep you happy, he would simply not mention it. My non-professional advice? Women are blessed with intuition and a whole load of intellect. I say, use what your "momma gave ya"and follow your gut. If you think he may be lying or that something just does not seem right, it's probably true. You need to decide how to proceed. Just remember, if he is lying, he is good at it. Often they tell one lie to cover up another. I wonder sometimes how they keep it all straight? Why is it so difficult to be honest?

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About Simply Delicious Lingerie

Simply Delicious Lingerie is an online boutique specializing in sexy lingerie from designers such as Carrie Amber Intimates LLC ‘SeventilMidnight’, Be Wicked, Elegant Moments, Fantasy Lingerie, Raveware, and WMS Clothing. Our lingerie is the aphrodisiac of taste, and represents beauty and luxury at an affordable price. At Simply Delicious Lingerie we've personally selected a variety of sexy lingerie just for you and all of your sensuous rendezvous. We sell accessories, Bordello shoes, Pleaser shoes, garter sets, bridal lingerie, bridal undergarments, honeymoon lingerie, wedding day lingerie, wedding garter sets, wedding petticoats, affordable plus size lingerie, Halloween costumes, sexy plus size costumes,  fantasy lingerie, matching lingerie sets, Men’s underwear, lingerie for men, sexy thigh high stockings, satin pajamas, plus size sleepwear, adult novelty items and sex swings including the Whip Smart Pleasure Swing. Have a lingerie party with us and experience fun!  Our mission is to take your sexy lingerie needs to the next level of comfort, intrigue, romance and sophistication. For more information or to place an order today please visit http://simplydeliciouslingerie.com/  Say YES (your everyday sexy) to Simply Delicious Lingerie!® 

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Mistakes to Avoid when Buying a New Car

For most people, a car is a necessity, unless you are my son and you go everywhere by foot. He lives in NYC and takes the subway everywhere. No insurance, no gas, no car payments...he is in seventh heaven. He loves walking so for this, and for him the alternative works. For those of us who have to drive, we often depend on our vehicles to get us to and from work every day, transport our kids to events, and even for pleasure. Because they are such an important aspect of your life, you want a vehicle that is reliable, comfortable, and maybe even a bit stylish. The vehicle choices are almost endless, so finding the right combination of wants and needs with an affordable price tag can be challenging. I've done some serious research;

Here are the biggest mistakes you should avoid when purchasing your next vehicle:


Thinking in terms of monthly payment. Not very many people walk into a car dealership and plan on writing a check or paying cash for their vehicle, and the salespeople know this. That is why the negotiation almost always revolves around how much you can afford to pay for the car each month. This is the easiest way to spend too much on your next vehicle.

When negotiating a price, the dealer can do a number of things to make almost any vehicle fit your budget. They can do this by adjusting interest the interest rate, offer you a longer term on the loan, or restructure the financing in a way that creates a payment that fits in your budget. It may not seem like a big deal, but even a few extra percentage points or an additional year on the loan can add thousands of dollars to the total cost of the vehicle.

Buying new versus used. Is that really the smartest thing to do? I say, NO. A vehicle is not an investment. Vehicles depreciate in value quickly, so when you buy a new vehicle, you can expect it to continuously decrease in value. In fact, a new car typically decreases in value by 25%-40% in the first two years. The best thing you can do is to let someone else take the initial 40% hit and buy a slightly used vehicle that is a year or two old.

Years ago, there was a good reason to buy new, and that was for the warranty. Today, most vehicles have longer warranties that can still be in effect even if you buy a car that is a few years old. In addition, you can often opt to purchase an extended warranty which is typically far cheaper than the value the car lost in the first year or two.

Choosing the wrong vehicle. Are you are single person who needs a vehicle just to get you to and from work every day? Then you probably don’t need that $45,000 SUV that seats eight and can tow 5,000 pounds. You want a vehicle that meets your specific needs. Sure, there are a lot of cars and trucks out there that will turn heads, but keep in mind that this will come at a premium.

Not taking into consideration other costs. The actual cost of the vehicle is important, but what is often overlooked are all of the hidden long-term maintenance and insurance costs that go along with a vehicle. Keep in mind that car insurance premiums typically increase with the value of a vehicle, so buying a more expensive vehicle will increase your annual insurance costs. This can amount to hundreds, if not a thousand dollars or more per year.

In addition to insurance, you have to take into account all of the maintenance costs. Vehicles need oil changes, new brakes, air filters, tires, and much more. Luxury or performance models are generally going to require higher end replacement parts that can cost much more than their standard counterpart.
Finally, you need to consider gas consumption. The average person will drive between 10,000 and 15,000 miles per year. A vehicle that gets an average of 30 miles per gallon with today’s gas prices, you can expect to spend between $1,000 and $1,500 per year on gas alone. Now, consider a vehicle that only gets about 15 miles per gallon. Now you’re spending $2,000 and $3,000 each year.When you think about it, by the time you factor in gas, oil changes, insurance and regular maintenance, you can expect to spend $3,000 to $5,000 in addition to your monthly car payment each year! Did you think about that? Most people don't.


Put $0 down. Yes, you heard me $0 down! There are a lot of incentives when it comes to buying a car, and you can often put yourself in a brand new vehicle of your choice with no money down. Sounds great, right? Not so fast. Remember, vehicles depreciate rapidly, so if you finance the full purchase price, you often find yourself upside down on the loan immediately. Don't let that intimidate you, because as soon as you drive your shiny new car off the lost you just got screwed regardless whether you put thousands of dollars down or nothing at all.

Being upside down simply means that you owe more than the car is worth. Welcome to reality. Remember, there are taxes and other fees that go into a new car purchase, and they are typically rolled into the loan if you don’t put anything down. That means as soon as you drive it off the lot, you owe more money to the bank or dealership than the vehicle is actually worth.Though most might argue that this is a very bad idea, think about it for a minute... if you intend on selling or trading the car in before the loan is paid off. If after three years you need to get a new vehicle and you owe $10,000 while the car is only worth $8,000, you will have to either pay $2,000 out of your pocket, or finance that into your new loan. So what do you do?

Roll it over, I do,...is it really that big of a deal considering most people have credit cards with balances even as small as $2000 but if you only pay the minimum monthly payment on that you'll be paying for that card forever and the fees and payment in the end will do the same thing...keep rolling over into the next year increasing and getting higher and higher. It may feel good to walk out of the dealership with a brand new car without having to fork over a dime up front, but most say it will cost you. Newsflash, life isn't cheap. We all pay in some form. Having a baby costs you, getting a new heart costs you, burying your family member costs you...is it really that big of a deal if what gets us safely to work, or school, or church costs a little more?

I say save your money and let it sit in the bank or under your mattress in case you DO have an emergency and need fast cash...you lose it as soon as you hand it to the car dealer anyway. You might as well keep it safe and secure for yourself. Just as I sell lingerie to the public as the owner of Simply Delicious Lingerie, I want my customers to have the best deals, and cheapest costs. I do the majority of purchasing in my household as well. The bottom line is that we are all looking for savings whether it be on food, bras and panties, houses, vacations, or automobiles. My advice, and I'm not an expert here is....shop around for the best deal before doing something on impulse.

Marriage Isn't Just a Piece of Paper.....

Before you ever get in a serious relationship, decide what you want. If you never want to get married, then great. Marriage may not be for every couple and that's ok if that is what you both wish for....Many men say that marriage just isn't for them, but I'm far more skeptical when it comes from a female. I ask all the time....What is marriage really? So many times in return men ask, what do women really want? Marriage is far more than just a piece of paper.

At the very least, many women want to have their perfect wedding, to walk down the aisle and be the center of attention. We want to have that ring on our finger. To women, these ceremonies and gestures are important, more important than a piece of paper. We want a man to love us so much that he's willing to give up the illusion of being single to commit to us.

To understand a man's reluctance to get married, you have to think of marriage in terms of a contract. Being in a serious long-term relationship is the equivalent to signing a lease together. Yes, you have made a commitment to each other, but it is relatively easy to break the lease and move on if times get tough. Some one once told me when I asked them what they thought of marriage....they said, and I quote..." Signing a marriage license for a guy is like signing a 30-year-morgage." What? Then he said .....Like the lease, the terms of this mortgage can be altered or the contract can be terminated, but not without a significant amount of strife.

Ok, my thoughts were; with that attitude you won't get very far, but then again, think about it, but in terms not so harsh as those. Marriage really is a legal  contract between two people. My theory these days though is that not enough couples want to try to make it work...they give up, say it's too much work and blame it on irreconcilable  differences.
 20+ yrs ago when I got married you didn't hear of such terms...lets go back even further than that...my parents and grandparents didn't give up. Marriage is harder than a full-time job as a CEO at a company. It takes hard work, dedication and so much determination, all of which these days couples have no desire or so it seems to do. Lets take recently the whole Kim Kardashian wedding. 72 days? Are you serious? I call these marriages a disaster. I haven't heard of anything this ludicrous since Britney Spears married old high school flame and got it annulled 48 hours later.

Is it the hype, a night of liquor and passion,or did they think they loved each other and didn't? Why make the committment to tie the knot and put that much work into it if you aren't sure or if this is where you end up? My suggestion is take it slow and think longggggggggg and hard over this one. It's not as easy as it appears and more often than not, being in the public eye doesn't help. To love is not as easy as one might think, and if you have never been in love, or married, you really have no right to judge what others do or how they live their life. Sure you can form opinions but love truly can cut like a knife.


Personally, I do believe that you don't need a piece of paper to prove that you're happy or compatible with a person. While I think it's important to take the ole' test drive ...(and I am not speaking of taking it just around the block...take it out on the highway to see how that motor really reacts to induced heat) to determine your domestic compatibility with a partner, you shouldn't make this leap until you have had a serious conversation about your future. In my opinion, sincerity is the most essential element of a marriage proposal.  Remember, this is your life we're talking about...and marriage isn't just a piece of paper.

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.

Sexual Tension

Sexual tension. What is the true definition for this? Sexual tension is the energy, or charge of the interaction between people. Its application is subtle, but powerful. It’s like a mystery to a lot of guys. Why? Well, they know they need to create sexual tension with a woman, but the thing is, they don’t really know how, yes you heard me, they are clueless most often. Ladies, does this 'really' surprise you?It’s okay to be a little unsure of what to do right now, but you do need to be able to figure this stuff out if you really want to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you. So, what can you do to make a woman feel sexual tension when she is with you? Buy her sexy lingerie. http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/ We have sales all the time and soon will be offering free shipping.

Here are 3 keys to building intense sexual tension with a woman:
Pay attention boys, this is NO time to fall asleep!

1. You cannot start off gun ho and in a rush like a tornado.
You have to think of building up sexual tension as being a marathon and not a sprint. Foreplay is essential in the game. Most guys when they really try to make a woman feel sexually attracted to them, they are gun ho and come out and lose steam in a matter of minutes and sometimes seconds. Not a good thing. It’s much better to build it up, then it is to start out at the top and work your way down. Basically, be patient and don’t try to make it happen in 60 seconds., if you do, well then we all know what happens...it's over before you know what hit you. Ease into it and make it last. You'll thank me later for this tip.


2. Tease her in a way that is playful, not harmful.
Teasing is an easy and effective way to create that kind of chemistry and tension with a woman and to be honest, most guys get it completely wrong. Either they don’t do it at all, or when they do it, it actually comes off like they are being harmful or mean. Playful is the way to go. You don’t want to make her feel like you are afraid to tease her, and you also don’t want to make her think of you as just being a jerk. Strike a balance, it’s much better.

3. Use the push and pull theory, and learn to walk away from her.
Crowding a woman is what most guys do when they have an interest in her. You know, they do what they can to get close to her, and once they are there, they NEVER want to leave. The problem with this is, it ends up making you look clingy and desperate. Let me tell you something,...most women hate clingy, needy men. You need to use techniques like push and pull and be able to walk away from her at the right moment. We love to be teased. We can dish it out and take it. You can drive a woman wild if you are the one that walks away from the interaction and she comes chasing after YOU.

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie

A Story about Sticky Boobs

Ladies, Ohhh have I got a story for you. There must be a time in your life, when you wore a dress, whether it be a cocktail dress, a clubbing dress or perhaps a sequins sleeveless blouse that you bought from a boutique where it was cut odd and at the time you had no special bra with straps that stayed hidden so you needed to use something to cover the ole' "hooters" .....because I was rasied in an old fashion home where you didn't expose yourself to complete strangers....your private parts remained private. Funnys isn't it, now I own two lingerie stores.

Lets talk about these items that you wear....Some call them "pasties" I call them "Sticky Boobs!" Easy to use, self adhesive strips that go over the nipple area to cover your girlie parts. These things work great! In fact every woman should have a set for those just in case emergencies, if not for you, for some poor woman in the ladies room trying to hide her unmentionables.

I'm describing myself here and let me tell you...I thought that they were great, but they should come with a WARNING LABEL! Never, ever, ever ladies wear these for a long period of time. These pasties, or sticky boobs as I refer to them as are a temporary fix for women. They are like a bandaid... they stick to you....and the longer you leave them on ladies, the more PAINFUL they are to take off. How do I know this, ohhhhh this experience is something that I will NEVER forget. My girlfriends laugh so hard even to this day when I tell the story, making some of them cry they alugh so hard.

A few years ago a group of us met in Las Vegas for our friend Brians 50th surprise birthday party. To celebrate, we had a private party in the Mirage at Jet Nightclub then went on to one of their elegant restaurants for a formal sit down dinner. I packed a beautiful sequin blouse and a silk black skirt full length and beautiful stilettos....but forgot a strapless bra.What was I to do? Lucky for me, my girlfriend Cindy that I went to Vegas with worked for a lingerie company at the time had a supply of anything and everything a gal could imagine if she forgot something while rushing to pack and scoot to the airport or for an overnight romantic getaway!

Cindy offered these sticky boobs to me and told me how to apply them. Easy,....piece of cake! Oh that was the greatest thing ever....Best things ever!....Until I partied, got way to drunk and came back to the room after gambling with my friend Nick playing the Wheel of Fortune where we won some $1600, then lost half of it so we gave up and walked with a lot less.....at 5am.

My blouse zipped up the back all the way to my neck so there was no way it was coming off so I figured why not just go to sleep dressed? Do you see where I am going with this story? I woke up as I had drawn the short straw to get 10 chairs at the pool at 8am and had to be there come hell or high water. Take one for the team Michele! So I did....when I woke up at 8am to that loud piercing alarm, I answered the phone. I was still drunk and still completely dressed. The alarm woke up Cindy so she got dressed to go to the pool with me. I sat up and realized that my clothes were all still on....as were the sticky boobs! I went into the bathroom, called Cindy to unzip me and when I pulled those stickies off I swear that it took off 3 layers of skin and I let out a scream that was heard all the way down to the MGM Grand! Consider this ladies, if this ever happens to you, act smarter that I did and get in the shower with them off, they come of a hell of a lot easier! Oh if I knew then what I know now!

The moral of the story is this; ...don't wear these things EVER! They should have a warning label on them. I've never experienced so much pain since childbirth, or at least it sure seemed that bad! Sure they work, but they are a bitch to take off if wore too long. Yes, they sure look pretty and sexy but they can cause some real damage! Mine were not at all this fancy, but I think you get the picture?

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.

YUMMY Adult Strawberry Slushies!

yield: Makes 6 servings

active time: 10 minutes

total time: 30 minutes

This "Grown Up"Yum Yum Thirst quencher can be made without an ice cream maker. To do so, put 1 cup of the wine ( following in the footsteps of my grandmother, Mildred, I say, hell,...why not 2 cups?) covered, in the refrigerator; chill. Purée the remaining wine with all remaining ingredients in a food processor. Pour the mixture into ice cube trays and freeze until solid. When you’re ready to serve, just purée the ice cubes with the remaining wine in a blender. Sit back, put your feet up and savor the blend of these awesome slushies for adults only! Now these are Simply Delicious!

Ingredients:

• 3 cups hulled strawberries
• 1 750 milliliter bottle dry Riesling
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 3 tablespoons sugar

Preparation:

 

Purée strawberries, Riesling, lemon juice, and sugar in a food processor until liquefied. Process in an ice cream maker according to manufacturer's instructions. Divide among cups. Serve immediately with straws, or transfer to a container and freeze.

 

Nutritional Information:

 

calories 140, 0 grams fat, 12 grams carbohydrates

 

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.

The Only Way to Say "I Do" on your Wedding Day

Let us "cover you in memories" with elegant, sexy, classy bridal and wedding lingerie....

Be Proud of the Woman that YOU are!

They say things happen for a reason and  that there is a reason somethings happen. Be strong, be different and be proud that you are a woman. If you fall, get back up brush your self and walk it off. Life is a mystery...do not be afraid to bask in the sunshine and never doubt who you are and what you want to be. You were not put in this world to please others but to please yourself. Take pleasure in being you!

 Days maybe short and nights maybe long but revel in your accomplishments. Desire to be all you can be and try something new and daring. Today is a gift and yesterday is the past. Never dread and live in disappointment. Stand strong for what you believe and do some traveling or take in a show with friends. Dance like there is no tomorrow. You are meant to stand tall and not to stand in the shadow of others. You are beautiful and sexy and should life to the fullest.

Rules are made to be broken because it is time to make your own rules. I am a rule breaker! The seasons change, and with change comes growth and experience. It has always amazed me how your true friends and love ones will stand behind you no matter the outcome. Do yourself a BIG favor,... rid the ones in your life that bring you down. Happy Birthday to all because birthdays are not just for the day of birth but a new insight that is coming around tomorrow. What are you waiting for, go buy those pair of red shoes that you you have been eyeing in the window or buy that sexy ensemble that you have been dying to try on for so long, but never did. Buy that certain perfume that you cannot gt out of your mind. Take pleasure in all that makes you happy!


Love and understanding comes with time and the time is now to shine like the brightest star in the galaxy!!

Until next time,

Tantalyzing Tina





http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/



How Do you Say Good Bye?

Have you ever felt like you had had the life sucked out of you? Have you ever felt like you're best friend in the entire world left you just when you need them most? Losing someone close to you changes your entire world. The pain you feel will often times be different, depending on the type of loss you have suffered. There is no easy way to move on. I know, it feels like your legs are stuck in quick sand and you can't move. The pain in your heart is so intense that your whole body aches. You cry a million tears, and then cry some more. Time to heal is what you need. Time to remember the good times that you had with this person(s) you loved, Time to say goodbye. I don't like to say goodbye, in fact when I lost my grandmother I refused to say goodbye....so I said, until we meet again.
 

The death of a parent:
 
This is one of the hardest deaths because it creates a sense of being "˜abandoned'. Our parents seem omniscient to us, and their death can leave you feeling vulnerable to death yourself.

The death of a spouse or partner:
Depending on the amount of time spent with the partner, feelings can vary, however, over all, the feeling is one of insecurity, of no longer "˜belonging"˜. Where you were once a couple, or partnership, you are now alone.

The death of a child:
We, as parents, are here to protect and guide our children. Therefore, when one of our children dies, it can be an overwhelming sense of failure, or blame on yourself because you were unable to protect or "˜save' your child.
 

The death of a companions:
Our life is spent in a warm, comforting, circle of brothers and sisters, friends and co-workers, as well as family pets. The loss of a close companion can be very painful, creating a desire or need to reminisce so as not to forget about someone who was very important in your life.

These are all very different emotions and reactions, however they are all normal, healthy emotions.

There are 7 stages of grief, and it no set time period or order in which to pass through these stages. You may find that you go from one to seven and then back to two. Or, you may experience them in reverse order, or exactly in order. Any way you experience these stages is normal, for you. Do not rush yourself, or expect too much. You will work through these stages, on your own time, in your own way. One day at a time, life will get better, and their memories you will have to treasure forever.
 

DISBELIEF
 
Immediately after a death it can be hard to accept that the death has occurred. You may try to deny it, or feel numb with shock. You may expect to continue seeing your loved one, even though you know they are dead.
 

ANGER
 
Some people feel angry at their loved ones for leaving, or angry at God for taking their loved one away. They may even feel anger at themselves or at life in general for the unfairness of having lost the one they love. Others may feel a need to blame another "˜actual' person.

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Life,...A Strong Dose of Reality

Have you ever in your life felt as if you were part of a family, yet you didn't seem to fit in? Have you ever felt as if you were stuck in the middle, sort of like how they say when you die, you your spirit lingers before it leaves this earth? You feel as if you are caught in the middle of two worlds. Welcome to my world! At age 19, I thought I knew it all. I was too smart to listen to my parents while theoretically did nothing but love me, nurture me and raise myself and my siblings, a younger brother and a younger sister to the best of their ability. We learned by the grace and love from them as well as our grandparents how to love and respect others. This is great because little did we know then that when we grew up, because adults and stepped into the "real world" what life was about to throw our way. Life as I knew if in my own naive world, a world similar to LaLa Land was about to be tarnished forever. I was about to get my first strong dose of reality, one that I will carry with me forever.

When I married at 19, I left home and moved to Michigan. There I was away from my family and learning how to care for a new family, "my own family." I lived in Michigan for some 24 years and certainly experienced my share of ups and down, but with the grace of God watching out for me as I believe I've used up too many of my 9 lives, never let me down. Having faith is the key. Without it, you have nothing. My grandmother used to always say "Michele God doesn’t give you anything that he doesn't think you can handle!" Ok, for a while that say with me all right, but after the divorce, the attack on my life, and cancer 4 times in the past year, you sort of have to ask yourself "When is enough, enough?" When will I get my break?

For a long time I thought I was being punished. After years of not feeling like I fit in, being the black sheep of the family, I realized that really, I didn't fit in. Perhaps it was because I married and moved away so young? Maybe it was because I was so different than my siblings? I used to spend a lot of time, (days in fact) at my grandparents house (Baba and Dedo.) through out life nothing came easy for me, except being loved. That was the gift that so few get to experience and so many take for granted. Love, one of the most precious of gifts had gifted me, and I then realized that my place in this world was to love others and spread the love.

At young ages my kids were given less for Christmas as their gifts from me. After the divorce 13 years ago, I needed to show my children the world and let them experience life, first in their own back yard, and then in other countries where they would see firsthand how bad others really do have it. At 14 and 12 years of age, I made them surrender a gift at Christmas that they wanted and I donated the money that would have been spent on it on families who had very little for Christmas. They did this and it made them feel good. Afterwards, they actually wanted to do more. This was music to my ears, so we did. We donated to homeless shelters; we helped to stock food pantries all the while knowing that we had nothing to eat in ours. Single mother with low paying job didn't get us much, but when you had the bond that we did, you really didn't need much.

Now as my kids are grown, I find them doing things on their own without me to lend a hand to those who need it. My son donates clothes and volunteers for any kind of fashion shows that raise awareness and monies for those who need it. My daughter volunteered at the Children’s Cancer Hospitals in Houston Texas, where she got her employer, a large oil company to donate generously and contribute funds to allow her marketing and sales team the opportunity to make holiday baskets for this family and for these children knowing in all reality that these kids would not be coming home. Sad that you are put on this earth and for such a very short time. My daughter said that nothing touched her heart more and filled her with sadness than to see these children with cancer on their final destination. As difficult as this was for her, she continues to do work for them out of love. She also has, like myself a special place in her heart for Shelters for battered and abused women. She donates business attire and whatever else these women and children need whenever they need it because 12 years ago, a bunch of strangers helped me and my children. I truly believe in karma, and I say most definitely, PAY IT FORWARD!!!

I was violently attacked and beaten in the year 2000 at my office by an intruder. It made me a victim until I refused to let this horrible man who did this to me win. I went to counseling and a very special woman who I met with twice a week brought me back to reality and gave me life again...this time a renewed life. While I laid on a cement floor getting the crap beaten out of me, I prayed not to let me die,...and my prayers were answered. I am here today because I had the faith and the courage to fight and not be a statistic. My daughter and son lived with me as I was black and blue from head to toe for 11 weeks. They sat while I went through surgeries for nerve damages in my hand, with blurred vision and hearing loss due to a severe ear drum nearly being shattered. As painful as this day February 10th still is to me, I now look at it as a second chance at life. The moral of this story here is this: Life is not permanent. You can be taken away tomorrow. Always remember to tell your loved ones how deeply you care for them and say "I love you!" This was my new beginning, my opportunity to make my life right.

What did I get out of this all you wonder? Well, as I sat here pondering just what I would say and how I would share this with you, it dawned on me. I attribute all of who I am to my family. I am the woman who is strong, and no longer weak....the woman who is independent never again to be codependent. I am the caring, loving woman who left home at such a young age to start my own family and missed out on the one I left behind....I believe I have been giving a second chance to start anew and catch up on 28 year of history that I never had the opportunity to know other than short weekend visits.

To my parent who never stop amazing me, I say "Wow" they should be patting themselves on the back for raising 3 awesome kids who turned out better than great. To the grandparents that have since perished who left impressions on me that will live forever. To an aunt of mine who gives me much strength and determination to be a better person, and who is probably the only only one besides my children that still laugh at Babas goofy sayings and quotes. To my children both of whom saved me in more ways than one when I felt I had nowhere to go, and no one to turn to, they are my rock, and I attribute all of whom I have become to these two wonderful young adults; they taught me to be patient and how to appreciate life and all that is truly has to offer. I look at them sometimes and it's as if I am looking in the mirror; to my brother and sister who I love more than anything and hope to reacquaint myself with now that I am back, and hopefully drive them a little crazy. (Hey, I have some catching up to do) They turned into two really great people, married and are happy with their spouses and their families. My brother-in-law "Tim" whom I call "Nancy" (inside joke) but he knows I love him. He is the best brother-in-law a gal could wish for. He makes me laugh. He's a doctor and he is so smart.My sister-in-law who after years of not knowing at all, now I am beginning to see that she clearly loves her family and would do anything for them. Last but not least....we always save the best for last....My little sister, who is 8 years younger than me. I feel as if I left behind at such a young age. I didn;t get to see her go to prom, or on her first date, and I was never here to stand up for her when someone picked on her.To the woman who still looks 16 and has a heart the size of Texas, I say "I love you" and we have much making up to do. I'm not sure if she will ever know how proud I am of her for her education, and all of her accomplishments, but I truly am. She was such an inspiration to me with her business savvy ways, her spunk, determination and her stubborn streak...perhaps I got my energy from her? At any rate...She rocks!

What I realized is that life doesn’t get better than this. Material objects make us happy, sure. But you can’t take them with you, and if you could heaven would need a very large storage closet. I realized that 1) I never needed a man to make me happy, I thought that I did, but I didn’t. 2) Accept the things that we cannot change and grant us the strength to move forward having learned some very good lessons about love and life, and 3) Respect others as you would want them to respect you. 4)  Follow the path of destiny. 5) Love yourself for all that you are good and the bad and realize that everyone makes mistakes, for if we didn’t we would never learn. 6) Life, I have learned is like playing roulette. It is a gamble. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But if you don't try, you'll never know.

 'What' and 'If" the two most nonthreatening words,...both harmless as can be, but but them together; combined and they could haunt you for the rest of your life..... What If?

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What are Misunderstandings?

mis·un·der·stand·ing   n.

1. A failure to understand or interpret correctly.

2. A disagreement or quarrel.

You can please some of the people some of the time - it is impossible to make everyone happy all the time, and if you can, please, by all means, I beg of you to tell me how the hell you did it?  The same can be said about communication between friends.  There are times when you find that you are in tune with your friends, where you might not even have to finish each other’s sentences because you can just tell what the other person is meaning. 

Effective Communication

Conversing with others is not difficult, and other people’s responses to your comments and questions says a lot about whether or not they find what you say to be of value.  That said, do you find yourself frequently misunderstood among your peers?  Perhaps you need to take a look at your communication skills.  Are you being clear about the points you are making?  If not, how can you reword what you said so that it can be understood?  Another part of communication is in watching how others respond, and being able to spend ample time listening to them in turn.  No one likes the person who hogs the spotlight - they eventually tune him out and walk away.  when your friends see that you are just as interested in what they have to say as you are in sharing your views with them, they will want to stick around.

I think that too many people in today's hurried and rushed society are on the go so much that they miss leads, they lose touch with friends, and they haven't the time for anything honestly because they are just simply too busy. Do you have friends or family like this? If you do then you can relate. I want to bring something up. A few weeks ago I was speaking with someone who is a close friend of mine, and she has been for years. She and I used to keep in touch often, then she started dating someone and her friends instantly took a back seat.

Although I am quite happy for my friend, the situation is still this; if you are too busy, I'd rather not hear from you at all. Instead, I received a generic email that was addressed to myself and 7 other friends that basically said "Hi, I miss you, how are you, what have you been up to, and drop me a line." OK, some of you might think that was OK, as for myself? TOTAL slap in my face. Listen, you you care about your family and friends like you say you do, make the time to individually email or call them, even if it is only for 5 minutes. Where did this email leave me? Angry, hurt and not wanting to speak to her. When you have friends, you always make the time to listen. I did nothing BUT listen to her 3 weeks ago when she made a confession to him and he was ready to dump her ass. I stood by her and tried my best to give comfort as no one knows better than I what it is like to get your heart torn out through your chest over a relationship gone south. Advice my friend; don't make that stupid mistake again, or you won't get a response from me, ever. Are we all taking the "back seat" now that lover boy is in the picture? You bet we are. I am not one to hold a grudge, so as always I overlook others unethical morals, forgive them, for they know not what they do, and they think that they are the ONLY one that this tragedy has happened do. No clue....they have no clue., but they will learn.

Of course, there are some times when your are misunderstood because of who you’re with - this is the case with friends who are not familiar with specific hobbies you have, or perhaps even lingo you use for the industry in which you work. It in no way implies that your friends are dense, but it just means that you have to tailor your conversation accordingly.  Do you really need to show off about what you know to your friends who have no knowledge of what you’re talking about? What should I have done, rather than avoid her like the plague, which wasn't took hard to do because my Sprint phone works when it wants to...was that I should have laid my cards on the table and told her how I felt about the email. Now she thinks I'm mad. Mad? No, disappointed? Yes! My friend should have understood what she had just done, and how we all must have felt. She doesn't like it when someone does it to her, and now she went and did it. Why? To busy, and no time.

Something that I learned during my marriage was never to say good bye to your true friends.  You should always keep the lines of communication open. If you spouse doesn't like your friends (these men/women that have been your friends for what seemed like a lifetime....) perhaps you need to ask why, and look into his/her past? Maybe they are hiding something giving them reason not to like your friends?

Maybe they're prefer you have stupid friends that didn't ask too many questions. Don't do what I did. I walked away from good friends because he didn't like them. I wanted to please him. Guess what I learn? It's bullshit. If he can't accept your friends, that's too bad. If he leaves you with nothing more than a serious ultimatum, walk away....because somewhere down the line my friend, like I found out 15 years into a marriage, he/she will turn on you and you're friends will be long gone leaving you alone and feeling deserted.

It's never to late to fix your wrong doings....so what are you waiting for. Do It! Don't let good friends go because of a silly man/woman. Listen to your gut, and to your heart. At least I've been given a second chance to start anew with my friends. Since moving back home, I have made it a point to contact them, take them to lunch, and try to say I am sorry for abandoning them when they needed me most.

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Shell & Dee Provide Marketing Tip for Simply Delicious Lingerie

Starting the Day Off on the Wrong Foot?

Have you ever heard that term "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed" or "Starting the day on the wrong foot?" These are warning signs of having a bad day...Welcome to my world! Today, unfortunately, I began mine...I woke up with a headache. A bad one at that I might add. I suffer migraines and this is all so new to me. They began a few years ago shortly after I relocated to Houston, Texas. I saw neurologist after neurologist. Most of them just wanted to dope me up and send me on my way after the handed me (a no health insurance patient) a whopper bill for $450 a visit and said..."see you in two weeks, let us know how the meds are working?" I'm sorry but "WTF?" They never took the time to try to understand what caused me to feel this was after being so healthy even after my cancer.


....And you wonder why people hate doctors? Hey, this story gets better. One my last shred of hope and in pain so severely that I could no longer operate an automobile because the dizzy and faint spells occurred, I met a neurologist who took the time to get to know me. My routines, my eating habits, and my physical and mental history. No one ever asked in detail like this guy did, and I was grateful! With meds, and a change in my diet, I now only suffer these headache occasionally and now I know when they are creeping up on me! I still dislike going to see the doctor, but even I know when not to push my limits.

I no longer allow this pain to control my life. I decided that I was not going to give up many things that I liked because they made me sick....so Mr Gucci, you should have me as your spokes person because even when the physician told me that my perfume was too strong and was annoying my senses,...I said; "Stop wearing my Gucci "Envy?" Never! I'd rather be ill and smell good than feel great and not have that wonderful scent on me.

Today, along with starting my day on the wrong foot it happened....I showered to make my head feel better. The hot water really helps. After getting out of the shower, I dried my hair and as I was turning around to unplug the hairdryer it happened....

The cord caught my bottle of Gucci Envy on the bathroom counter and before I could grab it....the bottle broke and my floor was saturated in it. What does one do? Think FAST! Ohhhh how I cried. Then I refused to wipe it up and lose it....so like the cheap woman I am, I scooped it into a bottle, or what little I could, and then I used a towelette to pick up the rest.

This story gets better....you have to know me first of all, as my family and friends do...in order to get the real humor of this story...imagine a full grown woman rolling around her bathroom floor soaking up the perfume she lost when the bottle hit the floor. Ok, now multiply that strong scent (for those of you who wear or know Gucci, you know what I'm talking about...) times ohhhh I don't know like x 1000 and imagine a what a woman might smell like with that much Gucci on her 5'5 140 pound body? YIKES!!!!!  Honestly, you can smell me a mile away!

There was no way in hell I was going to throw that away,...nope, not so fast. Did I mention the bottle was practically full, so that made it even worse...my bad day just got worse. My suggestion is if you are anywhere in Youngstown Ohio and as far away as Cleveland and you smell something with a strong scent and a wonderful aroma? It's just me passing thru!

Listen, there is a moral to this story, even if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, or start the day off on the wrong foot, or you walk the dog only to step in his pile of shit,...think of me...I came out smelling like a rose...or Gucci Envy. Might I suggest though Mr Gucci, some sort of bottles that are shatter-proof for gals on the go like myself?

So ask yourself? Are you; Having a bad day?

Your attitude can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Today it took everything I had in me to keep it my friend. It can take you to levels you never thought possible, or it can be the single most limiting element in your life. Your attitude — good or bad — is contagious. It spreads to your coworkers, your family, and especially your clients, affecting everything you do.

Having a bad attitude will cost you sales, business, friends, time, and energy. You will never make it to the top of your game if you consistently have "stinkin' thinkin'." Of course, everyone has bad days and gets down once in a while. Still, learn to control your attitude and your consistent thoughts and beliefs will always prevail. Turn something bad into something good like I did, and remember, "Shit happens" it's how you learn to deal with it that makes up a stronger person.

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How Will I Know...If He Really Loves Me?

Both women and men for years and years have asked the same question that our grandparents asked: "How will I know?" Well, in todays society, love is a two way street. It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it. Most often, it is not one sided. Love conquers all. Some will tell you that they stay clear from it and as Bonnie Tyler sang it best.... "It's a Heartache" nothing but a heartache. So, the question at hand is this; How will I know if he really loves me? Well, don't ask Whitney Houston, we all know how her relationship with Mr Bobby Brown turned out...my advice...follow your heart and listen to your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. I've taken the liberty to dig up some questions and answers to the top worries we have in relationships....I thought you might want to take a lookie.



1.  If you observe his actions rather than his words, what have you learned?  You know they always say that actions speak louder than words. Is he nice, and kind and caring...or does he mistreat animals, talk down to the wait staff at restaurants when you go on dates, or act prejudice? Pay close attention...both men and women are silent threats....but actions sound our horn loud and clear. I have built in radar. My kids always laughed at me when I said that while they were growing up, but I always knew when something didn't feel right. Use your better judgement. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Like a leopard, sooner than later his true colors will show, and these are some serious spots you'll want to stay clear from if this is the case.

2.  Does he constantly treat you with respect or does he do so sparingly and inconsistently?  People who are truly in love know this... treating the one you love with respect is a full time duty!
You cannot pick and choose the time and place to be kind, considerate, and respectful.  He is either respectful full-time or he is not.  It really is that simple.  He is not entitled to pick and choose!


3.  In your relationship, are you treated as an equal partner?   Listen sister...you damn straight should be! When someone really loves you, they treat you as an equal partner - as a person who has an equal voice in your relationship. Your voice does matter...and if your partner thinks that it doesn't....cut your losses and walk away now. If he makes the significant decisions in your relationship and relegates you to following his directives, then he really does NOT love you.  In the best loving relationships between a man and a woman, both share equally in the relationship.


4.  When you are in love, you can't imagine life without him!  So try this question on him - "Honey, do you love me more than life itself?  Can you imagine life without me?"  If his answer makes you wonder about the depth of his commitment to you, he doesn't truly love you.  He is not the man you should commit your life to!


5.  People who truly love each other say it and live it daily!  Does he tell you he loves you?  Does he do it without prodding?  Does his love for you come naturally, repeatedly, and frequently? The truth of the matter is this - when you love someone, you tell them.  And don't fall for that old line that goes like this - "I don't need to tell her I love her because she knows."  This notion is just plain wrong!  If he doesn't tell you, then your relationship is in trouble and in my own words... "Houston, We have a Problem!" My advice is don't wait until it becomes an issue....watch for signs and talk about it.


6.  I trust him more that life itself. Your trust in him is unequivocal and without hesitation.
Here is the question of the day - Is the man you purport to love a man you trust without question?  If the answer is no, then you need to reconsider the question, does he really love me? It's not  hard to do...and this is not a multiple choice question. He either loves you or he doesn't! End of discussion.


7.  In the end, if he really loves you, he is always there for you - through the good times and the bad.  When somebody loves you, they love you through thick and thin.  They love you without conditions.  They love you when you are at your best and when you are at your worst.
When you are really in love, he makes you feel good and you do the same for him. You are stronger because he is a part of your life.  He makes you excited about where your relationship is going. It's a positive reality!


Remember...The measure of his love for you is always, in the end, about consistency.  When you love someone, you cannot pick and choose the times you show you care, when you express love, and when you demonstrate your affection for the one you love.  If his love for you is conditional, sporadic, and only comes when the times are good, you have to answer yourself this simple question - does he really and truly love me?  You decide....and that my friend....is HOW YOU KNOW!

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