Have you ever in your life felt as if you were part of a family, yet you didn't seem to fit in? Have you ever felt as if you were stuck in the middle, sort of like how they say when you die, you your spirit lingers before it leaves this earth? You feel as if you are caught in the middle of two worlds. Welcome to my world! At age 19, I thought I knew it all. I was too smart to listen to my parents while theoretically did nothing but love me, nurture me and raise myself and my siblings, a younger brother and a younger sister to the best of their ability. We learned by the grace and love from them as well as our grandparents how to love and respect others. This is great because little did we know then that when we grew up, because adults and stepped into the "real world" what life was about to throw our way. Life as I knew if in my own naive world, a world similar to LaLa Land was about to be tarnished forever. I was about to get my first strong dose of reality, one that I will carry with me forever.
When I married at 19, I left home and moved to Michigan. There I was away from my family and learning how to care for a new family, "my own family." I lived in Michigan for some 24 years and certainly experienced my share of ups and down, but with the grace of God watching out for me as I believe I've used up too many of my 9 lives, never let me down. Having faith is the key. Without it, you have nothing. My grandmother used to always say "Michele God doesn’t give you anything that he doesn't think you can handle!" Ok, for a while that say with me all right, but after the divorce, the attack on my life, and cancer 4 times in the past year, you sort of have to ask yourself "When is enough, enough?" When will I get my break?
For a long time I thought I was being punished. After years of not feeling like I fit in, being the black sheep of the family, I realized that really, I didn't fit in. Perhaps it was because I married and moved away so young? Maybe it was because I was so different than my siblings? I used to spend a lot of time, (days in fact) at my grandparents house (Baba and Dedo.) through out life nothing came easy for me, except being loved. That was the gift that so few get to experience and so many take for granted. Love, one of the most precious of gifts had gifted me, and I then realized that my place in this world was to love others and spread the love.
At young ages my kids were given less for Christmas as their gifts from me. After the divorce 13 years ago, I needed to show my children the world and let them experience life, first in their own back yard, and then in other countries where they would see firsthand how bad others really do have it. At 14 and 12 years of age, I made them surrender a gift at Christmas that they wanted and I donated the money that would have been spent on it on families who had very little for Christmas. They did this and it made them feel good. Afterwards, they actually wanted to do more. This was music to my ears, so we did. We donated to homeless shelters; we helped to stock food pantries all the while knowing that we had nothing to eat in ours. Single mother with low paying job didn't get us much, but when you had the bond that we did, you really didn't need much.
Now as my kids are grown, I find them doing things on their own without me to lend a hand to those who need it. My son donates clothes and volunteers for any kind of fashion shows that raise awareness and monies for those who need it. My daughter volunteered at the Children’s Cancer Hospitals in Houston Texas, where she got her employer, a large oil company to donate generously and contribute funds to allow her marketing and sales team the opportunity to make holiday baskets for this family and for these children knowing in all reality that these kids would not be coming home. Sad that you are put on this earth and for such a very short time. My daughter said that nothing touched her heart more and filled her with sadness than to see these children with cancer on their final destination. As difficult as this was for her, she continues to do work for them out of love. She also has, like myself a special place in her heart for Shelters for battered and abused women. She donates business attire and whatever else these women and children need whenever they need it because 12 years ago, a bunch of strangers helped me and my children. I truly believe in karma, and I say most definitely, PAY IT FORWARD!!!
I was violently attacked and beaten in the year 2000 at my office by an intruder. It made me a victim until I refused to let this horrible man who did this to me win. I went to counseling and a very special woman who I met with twice a week brought me back to reality and gave me life again...this time a renewed life. While I laid on a cement floor getting the crap beaten out of me, I prayed not to let me die,...and my prayers were answered. I am here today because I had the faith and the courage to fight and not be a statistic. My daughter and son lived with me as I was black and blue from head to toe for 11 weeks. They sat while I went through surgeries for nerve damages in my hand, with blurred vision and hearing loss due to a severe ear drum nearly being shattered. As painful as this day February 10th still is to me, I now look at it as a second chance at life. The moral of this story here is this: Life is not permanent. You can be taken away tomorrow. Always remember to tell your loved ones how deeply you care for them and say "I love you!" This was my new beginning, my opportunity to make my life right.
What did I get out of this all you wonder? Well, as I sat here pondering just what I would say and how I would share this with you, it dawned on me. I attribute all of who I am to my family. I am the woman who is strong, and no longer weak....the woman who is independent never again to be codependent. I am the caring, loving woman who left home at such a young age to start my own family and missed out on the one I left behind....I believe I have been giving a second chance to start anew and catch up on 28 year of history that I never had the opportunity to know other than short weekend visits.
To my parent who never stop amazing me, I say "Wow" they should be patting themselves on the back for raising 3 awesome kids who turned out better than great. To the grandparents that have since perished who left impressions on me that will live forever. To an aunt of mine who gives me much strength and determination to be a better person, and who is probably the only only one besides my children that still laugh at Babas goofy sayings and quotes. To my children both of whom saved me in more ways than one when I felt I had nowhere to go, and no one to turn to, they are my rock, and I attribute all of whom I have become to these two wonderful young adults; they taught me to be patient and how to appreciate life and all that is truly has to offer. I look at them sometimes and it's as if I am looking in the mirror; to my brother and sister who I love more than anything and hope to reacquaint myself with now that I am back, and hopefully drive them a little crazy. (Hey, I have some catching up to do) They turned into two really great people, married and are happy with their spouses and their families. My brother-in-law "Tim" whom I call "Nancy" (inside joke) but he knows I love him. He is the best brother-in-law a gal could wish for. He makes me laugh. He's a doctor and he is so smart.My sister-in-law who after years of not knowing at all, now I am beginning to see that she clearly loves her family and would do anything for them. Last but not least....we always save the best for last....My little sister, who is 8 years younger than me. I feel as if I left behind at such a young age. I didn;t get to see her go to prom, or on her first date, and I was never here to stand up for her when someone picked on her.To the woman who still looks 16 and has a heart the size of Texas, I say "I love you" and we have much making up to do. I'm not sure if she will ever know how proud I am of her for her education, and all of her accomplishments, but I truly am. She was such an inspiration to me with her business savvy ways, her spunk, determination and her stubborn streak...perhaps I got my energy from her? At any rate...She rocks!
What I realized is that life doesn’t get better than this. Material objects make us happy, sure. But you can’t take them with you, and if you could heaven would need a very large storage closet. I realized that 1) I never needed a man to make me happy, I thought that I did, but I didn’t. 2) Accept the things that we cannot change and grant us the strength to move forward having learned some very good lessons about love and life, and 3) Respect others as you would want them to respect you. 4) Follow the path of destiny. 5) Love yourself for all that you are good and the bad and realize that everyone makes mistakes, for if we didn’t we would never learn. 6) Life, I have learned is like playing roulette. It is a gamble. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But if you don't try, you'll never know.
'What' and 'If" the two most nonthreatening words,...both harmless as can be, but but them together; combined and they could haunt you for the rest of your life..... What If?
When I married at 19, I left home and moved to Michigan. There I was away from my family and learning how to care for a new family, "my own family." I lived in Michigan for some 24 years and certainly experienced my share of ups and down, but with the grace of God watching out for me as I believe I've used up too many of my 9 lives, never let me down. Having faith is the key. Without it, you have nothing. My grandmother used to always say "Michele God doesn’t give you anything that he doesn't think you can handle!" Ok, for a while that say with me all right, but after the divorce, the attack on my life, and cancer 4 times in the past year, you sort of have to ask yourself "When is enough, enough?" When will I get my break?
For a long time I thought I was being punished. After years of not feeling like I fit in, being the black sheep of the family, I realized that really, I didn't fit in. Perhaps it was because I married and moved away so young? Maybe it was because I was so different than my siblings? I used to spend a lot of time, (days in fact) at my grandparents house (Baba and Dedo.) through out life nothing came easy for me, except being loved. That was the gift that so few get to experience and so many take for granted. Love, one of the most precious of gifts had gifted me, and I then realized that my place in this world was to love others and spread the love.
At young ages my kids were given less for Christmas as their gifts from me. After the divorce 13 years ago, I needed to show my children the world and let them experience life, first in their own back yard, and then in other countries where they would see firsthand how bad others really do have it. At 14 and 12 years of age, I made them surrender a gift at Christmas that they wanted and I donated the money that would have been spent on it on families who had very little for Christmas. They did this and it made them feel good. Afterwards, they actually wanted to do more. This was music to my ears, so we did. We donated to homeless shelters; we helped to stock food pantries all the while knowing that we had nothing to eat in ours. Single mother with low paying job didn't get us much, but when you had the bond that we did, you really didn't need much.
Now as my kids are grown, I find them doing things on their own without me to lend a hand to those who need it. My son donates clothes and volunteers for any kind of fashion shows that raise awareness and monies for those who need it. My daughter volunteered at the Children’s Cancer Hospitals in Houston Texas, where she got her employer, a large oil company to donate generously and contribute funds to allow her marketing and sales team the opportunity to make holiday baskets for this family and for these children knowing in all reality that these kids would not be coming home. Sad that you are put on this earth and for such a very short time. My daughter said that nothing touched her heart more and filled her with sadness than to see these children with cancer on their final destination. As difficult as this was for her, she continues to do work for them out of love. She also has, like myself a special place in her heart for Shelters for battered and abused women. She donates business attire and whatever else these women and children need whenever they need it because 12 years ago, a bunch of strangers helped me and my children. I truly believe in karma, and I say most definitely, PAY IT FORWARD!!!
I was violently attacked and beaten in the year 2000 at my office by an intruder. It made me a victim until I refused to let this horrible man who did this to me win. I went to counseling and a very special woman who I met with twice a week brought me back to reality and gave me life again...this time a renewed life. While I laid on a cement floor getting the crap beaten out of me, I prayed not to let me die,...and my prayers were answered. I am here today because I had the faith and the courage to fight and not be a statistic. My daughter and son lived with me as I was black and blue from head to toe for 11 weeks. They sat while I went through surgeries for nerve damages in my hand, with blurred vision and hearing loss due to a severe ear drum nearly being shattered. As painful as this day February 10th still is to me, I now look at it as a second chance at life. The moral of this story here is this: Life is not permanent. You can be taken away tomorrow. Always remember to tell your loved ones how deeply you care for them and say "I love you!" This was my new beginning, my opportunity to make my life right.
What did I get out of this all you wonder? Well, as I sat here pondering just what I would say and how I would share this with you, it dawned on me. I attribute all of who I am to my family. I am the woman who is strong, and no longer weak....the woman who is independent never again to be codependent. I am the caring, loving woman who left home at such a young age to start my own family and missed out on the one I left behind....I believe I have been giving a second chance to start anew and catch up on 28 year of history that I never had the opportunity to know other than short weekend visits.
To my parent who never stop amazing me, I say "Wow" they should be patting themselves on the back for raising 3 awesome kids who turned out better than great. To the grandparents that have since perished who left impressions on me that will live forever. To an aunt of mine who gives me much strength and determination to be a better person, and who is probably the only only one besides my children that still laugh at Babas goofy sayings and quotes. To my children both of whom saved me in more ways than one when I felt I had nowhere to go, and no one to turn to, they are my rock, and I attribute all of whom I have become to these two wonderful young adults; they taught me to be patient and how to appreciate life and all that is truly has to offer. I look at them sometimes and it's as if I am looking in the mirror; to my brother and sister who I love more than anything and hope to reacquaint myself with now that I am back, and hopefully drive them a little crazy. (Hey, I have some catching up to do) They turned into two really great people, married and are happy with their spouses and their families. My brother-in-law "Tim" whom I call "Nancy" (inside joke) but he knows I love him. He is the best brother-in-law a gal could wish for. He makes me laugh. He's a doctor and he is so smart.My sister-in-law who after years of not knowing at all, now I am beginning to see that she clearly loves her family and would do anything for them. Last but not least....we always save the best for last....My little sister, who is 8 years younger than me. I feel as if I left behind at such a young age. I didn;t get to see her go to prom, or on her first date, and I was never here to stand up for her when someone picked on her.To the woman who still looks 16 and has a heart the size of Texas, I say "I love you" and we have much making up to do. I'm not sure if she will ever know how proud I am of her for her education, and all of her accomplishments, but I truly am. She was such an inspiration to me with her business savvy ways, her spunk, determination and her stubborn streak...perhaps I got my energy from her? At any rate...She rocks!
What I realized is that life doesn’t get better than this. Material objects make us happy, sure. But you can’t take them with you, and if you could heaven would need a very large storage closet. I realized that 1) I never needed a man to make me happy, I thought that I did, but I didn’t. 2) Accept the things that we cannot change and grant us the strength to move forward having learned some very good lessons about love and life, and 3) Respect others as you would want them to respect you. 4) Follow the path of destiny. 5) Love yourself for all that you are good and the bad and realize that everyone makes mistakes, for if we didn’t we would never learn. 6) Life, I have learned is like playing roulette. It is a gamble. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But if you don't try, you'll never know.
'What' and 'If" the two most nonthreatening words,...both harmless as can be, but but them together; combined and they could haunt you for the rest of your life..... What If?
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