You're sweating, shaking, and feeling as if the world will soon come to an end. Everything you believed in- love, respect, loyalty- has all vanished at lightning speed. You told yourself that if you treated her right, she'd be with you forever.
Wrong! Nothing lasts forever. This is a lesson we all learn the hard way. She'll hurt you, and you'll probably hurt someone else. It's a vicious cycle that one must learn about, in order to survive the crazy game of "love".
Let's face it, we have all been through the dreaded breaking up with someone . If you haven't experience it yet, I might ask?..What planet do you live on? Just kidding...., believe me, you soon will. So here are a few guidelines to follow that can help you recuperate after a breakup. It sort of breaks it down to where you can actually relate to what I'm saying.
Stage 1- They say.,...Time heals Everything: Or so they say time heals all wounds. It's normal to have low self-esteem when someone you love leaves you. But remember, you're still the same person that she/he once fell in love with once and you are that same adorable person that someone else will fall in love with too! Never lose your own self identity! Be true to who you are and be proud that you are such an amazing person.
The only difference is that you are no longer together. Trust me, you'll find someone else in time. As for your broken heart, the old saying time heals everything cannot be more true. Get reacquainted with your "inner you!" How long has it been since you took the time to do so?
Stage 2- Are you vulnerable? Anyone can take advantage of you when you are feeling vulnerable. You must therefore be extra careful not to look to quick fixes, such as dating old flings. In other words, Good Lord, don't go looking for trouble!
Stage 3- Feelings of denial: At this stage, you will probably call your ex many times to question whether the relationship is truly over, don't. Not only does it look desperate, but it makes you look pathetic. Give it time, and give him/her space.... whether there is still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged might be yet to be determined, but if you smoother the other person, it'll be like shooting yourself in the foot.
Stage 4- Feelings of remorse and bitterness: Remember, the relationship is over, so don't express feelings of sadness and bitterness to your ex . Move on. Someone once told me, "Don't waste brain space thinking about him, he certainly is not thinking about you!" Ouch? Yes, but quite truthful. If you do act bitter or too judgemental, you'll be letting her know that you are unable to handle her decision, which makes you look immature. Instead, channel those feelings into positive energy by improving the skills at the activities you love. All you need to do is build that confidence level back up!
Stage 5- Take time off: A lot of men/women try to rebuild their new broken fragile ego, by dating again too soon after a breakup. Stop! WTF are you thinking? You'll only end up damaging yourself even more, as well as the person you are dating. If you date someone just to fill a gap, that's the way you'll end up treating that person. Take time to heal....get hold of your true inner feelings, and enjoy and appreciate who "you" are.
Stay away from women/man who'll prey on your fragile emotional state, and take advantage of your vulnerability. This will only give you a false sense of trust. Take time off and get involved in things you never had the time to do before. It makes time go by quickly, and it's a change that you might really need.
Stage 6- Socialize: Meet a lot of new people. Use this time to improve relations with old friends, network, and make new friends. A well-balanced life will lessen the impact of a breakup, because you will still have the other aspects of your life intact, and improved. I'm not saying go clubbing and pick up strangers and get all wind child...I'm saying go to mixers and mingle. It's like milk, it does a body good!
Stage 7- Fall in love: Eventually, as time passes, you will fall in love again. Make sure to let yourself fall in love, and take the time to really let your partner in your life. There is nothing better than a new flame to make you forget an old one (once you have had the time to heal, of course). Remember Rome wasn't built over night, so love generally doesn't happen that quickly either, although, who am I to call this one, it has happened, and being the totally hopeless romantic that I am still believes!
Stage 8- Don't set yourself up: Don't get carried away with this new found flame, take it niceeeeeeee and slow and remember nothing lasts forever. Or so it seems. Hey, no, I am not trying to be Debbie Downer but reality check here...life is not peachy, men and women cheat, lose interest and often lack confidence, so if a relationship fails, think about what happened or how it led up to this point so that in the future you can try to correct it and make it less likely that it will happen again. Whatever you do...don't make this person the sole focus of your life, because if it doesn't workout, you'll find yourself right back at square one again!
Hey, just remember, everything changes....life goes on. Don't ever let anyone make you think that you can't make it without him/her, or that you need them...I made that mistake, no more. Never make someone a priority that only sees you as an option. You deserve far better than that. As Beyonce sang, "Irreplaceable!"
Wrong! Nothing lasts forever. This is a lesson we all learn the hard way. She'll hurt you, and you'll probably hurt someone else. It's a vicious cycle that one must learn about, in order to survive the crazy game of "love".
Let's face it, we have all been through the dreaded breaking up with someone . If you haven't experience it yet, I might ask?..What planet do you live on? Just kidding...., believe me, you soon will. So here are a few guidelines to follow that can help you recuperate after a breakup. It sort of breaks it down to where you can actually relate to what I'm saying.
Stage 1- They say.,...Time heals Everything: Or so they say time heals all wounds. It's normal to have low self-esteem when someone you love leaves you. But remember, you're still the same person that she/he once fell in love with once and you are that same adorable person that someone else will fall in love with too! Never lose your own self identity! Be true to who you are and be proud that you are such an amazing person.
The only difference is that you are no longer together. Trust me, you'll find someone else in time. As for your broken heart, the old saying time heals everything cannot be more true. Get reacquainted with your "inner you!" How long has it been since you took the time to do so?
Stage 2- Are you vulnerable? Anyone can take advantage of you when you are feeling vulnerable. You must therefore be extra careful not to look to quick fixes, such as dating old flings. In other words, Good Lord, don't go looking for trouble!
Stage 3- Feelings of denial: At this stage, you will probably call your ex many times to question whether the relationship is truly over, don't. Not only does it look desperate, but it makes you look pathetic. Give it time, and give him/her space.... whether there is still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged might be yet to be determined, but if you smoother the other person, it'll be like shooting yourself in the foot.
Stage 4- Feelings of remorse and bitterness: Remember, the relationship is over, so don't express feelings of sadness and bitterness to your ex . Move on. Someone once told me, "Don't waste brain space thinking about him, he certainly is not thinking about you!" Ouch? Yes, but quite truthful. If you do act bitter or too judgemental, you'll be letting her know that you are unable to handle her decision, which makes you look immature. Instead, channel those feelings into positive energy by improving the skills at the activities you love. All you need to do is build that confidence level back up!
Stage 5- Take time off: A lot of men/women try to rebuild their new broken fragile ego, by dating again too soon after a breakup. Stop! WTF are you thinking? You'll only end up damaging yourself even more, as well as the person you are dating. If you date someone just to fill a gap, that's the way you'll end up treating that person. Take time to heal....get hold of your true inner feelings, and enjoy and appreciate who "you" are.
Stay away from women/man who'll prey on your fragile emotional state, and take advantage of your vulnerability. This will only give you a false sense of trust. Take time off and get involved in things you never had the time to do before. It makes time go by quickly, and it's a change that you might really need.
Stage 6- Socialize: Meet a lot of new people. Use this time to improve relations with old friends, network, and make new friends. A well-balanced life will lessen the impact of a breakup, because you will still have the other aspects of your life intact, and improved. I'm not saying go clubbing and pick up strangers and get all wind child...I'm saying go to mixers and mingle. It's like milk, it does a body good!
Stage 7- Fall in love: Eventually, as time passes, you will fall in love again. Make sure to let yourself fall in love, and take the time to really let your partner in your life. There is nothing better than a new flame to make you forget an old one (once you have had the time to heal, of course). Remember Rome wasn't built over night, so love generally doesn't happen that quickly either, although, who am I to call this one, it has happened, and being the totally hopeless romantic that I am still believes!
Stage 8- Don't set yourself up: Don't get carried away with this new found flame, take it niceeeeeeee and slow and remember nothing lasts forever. Or so it seems. Hey, no, I am not trying to be Debbie Downer but reality check here...life is not peachy, men and women cheat, lose interest and often lack confidence, so if a relationship fails, think about what happened or how it led up to this point so that in the future you can try to correct it and make it less likely that it will happen again. Whatever you do...don't make this person the sole focus of your life, because if it doesn't workout, you'll find yourself right back at square one again!
Hey, just remember, everything changes....life goes on. Don't ever let anyone make you think that you can't make it without him/her, or that you need them...I made that mistake, no more. Never make someone a priority that only sees you as an option. You deserve far better than that. As Beyonce sang, "Irreplaceable!"
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