Have you ever felt like you had had the life sucked out of you? Have you ever felt like you're best friend in the entire world left you just when you need them most? Losing someone close to you changes your entire world. The pain you feel will often times be different, depending on the type of loss you have suffered. There is no easy way to move on. I know, it feels like your legs are stuck in quick sand and you can't move. The pain in your heart is so intense that your whole body aches. You cry a million tears, and then cry some more. Time to heal is what you need. Time to remember the good times that you had with this person(s) you loved, Time to say goodbye. I don't like to say goodbye, in fact when I lost my grandmother I refused to say goodbye....so I said, until we meet again.
The death of a parent:
This is one of the hardest deaths because it creates a sense of being "˜abandoned'. Our parents seem omniscient to us, and their death can leave you feeling vulnerable to death yourself.
The death of a spouse or partner:
Depending on the amount of time spent with the partner, feelings can vary, however, over all, the feeling is one of insecurity, of no longer "˜belonging"˜. Where you were once a couple, or partnership, you are now alone.
The death of a parent:
This is one of the hardest deaths because it creates a sense of being "˜abandoned'. Our parents seem omniscient to us, and their death can leave you feeling vulnerable to death yourself.
The death of a spouse or partner:
Depending on the amount of time spent with the partner, feelings can vary, however, over all, the feeling is one of insecurity, of no longer "˜belonging"˜. Where you were once a couple, or partnership, you are now alone.
The death of a child:
We, as parents, are here to protect and guide our children. Therefore, when one of our children dies, it can be an overwhelming sense of failure, or blame on yourself because you were unable to protect or "˜save' your child.
The death of a companions:
Our life is spent in a warm, comforting, circle of brothers and sisters, friends and co-workers, as well as family pets. The loss of a close companion can be very painful, creating a desire or need to reminisce so as not to forget about someone who was very important in your life.
These are all very different emotions and reactions, however they are all normal, healthy emotions.
There are 7 stages of grief, and it no set time period or order in which to pass through these stages. You may find that you go from one to seven and then back to two. Or, you may experience them in reverse order, or exactly in order. Any way you experience these stages is normal, for you. Do not rush yourself, or expect too much. You will work through these stages, on your own time, in your own way. One day at a time, life will get better, and their memories you will have to treasure forever.
DISBELIEF
Immediately after a death it can be hard to accept that the death has occurred. You may try to deny it, or feel numb with shock. You may expect to continue seeing your loved one, even though you know they are dead.
ANGER
Some people feel angry at their loved ones for leaving, or angry at God for taking their loved one away. They may even feel anger at themselves or at life in general for the unfairness of having lost the one they love. Others may feel a need to blame another "˜actual' person.
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