How many times has this happened to you? You get all dressed up and think you're looking hot, and he says..."Are you going to go get ready to go out?" What? Does he NOT KNOW that we just spent hours preparing for this date and days deciding what we were going to wear? Most likely no. Why? Because most men find their outfit in less than 10 minutes and stop stay up all night wondering about things like we do....
So, when he says something like this that offends you a tad bit, try not to put your foot in your mouth with a lame comment or something rude...OK, so your man has hurt your feelings? This happens now and then.
We women have a tendency to be incredibly emotional creatures. There is nothing wrong with that but, there are good and bad ways to tell your man that he has done this. First, men do not think like we do, so therefore, they don't get it, and couldn't possibly understand our feelings...if we are PMS'ing...Dear Lord, forget it. You might as well tape my mouth shut because you never know what will come out of it!
Most often, there is a very good chance that your man did not mean to hurt your feelings. In some cases, he may not have even realised that he did. A man who genuinely cares for you wants to know if he has hurt you. Of course he wants to know! He wants to know, so that he can take steps to fix the situation, or try to avoid doing so again. You matter to him, remember? However, there is a right and wrong way to go about letting him know how you feel at times like this.
I preach this to you ALL THE TIME,...Communication is key! Men do not like ‘drama’. So no drama mama! Even if he loves you a great deal, a man will shy away from you the minute you start to tearfully accuse him, or insult him, or yell and scream and rant at him because you are upset. Men really do not like such emotional displays. take my advice now and do what my mother said..."Put a sock in your mouth, and keep the yap shut!" They don't need to hear it nor do they want to heard us babble. As the years went by, I learned that mom was right. Talk about your problems, and if feelings get hurt, discuss them. The longer they go unspoken of, the harder it is to discuss it. Talking does a world of good, so do it!
Perhaps you have decided to give him ‘the silent treatment’, instead? I was sooooo good at this when I was married. There is a good chance that, if a man does not recognise this as a passive-aggressive display of anger on your part, he will simply think that you wish to be left alone, and will not approach you.
No. Calm yourself down first before approaching him on the matter. No tears, no accusations, no emotional displays. Wait until you are calm and, once you are, express yourself in a clear, emotionless, and honest way. Tell him that you are feeling upset and why, as concisely as possible. There is no need to go into hours worth of detail, either! That is equally ineffective so give it up. Rest your voice, and save your strength!
Resist the urge to accuse him; as if he knew that he was hurting you. Do not say, for example, “You love making me feel bad about myself”, or “You say you love me? Well, you obviously don’t because you just said…” Remember, he may not have even realised that he had hurt your feelings, so don’t assume that he knows or has done so deliberately! This kind of accusation will also put him on the ‘defensive’ straight away, and you want to resolve the conflict, don’t you? Once both of you are angry, or he has fled the situation in order to escape the ‘drama’, conflict resolution is very difficult to achieve, now, isn’t it?
Avoid ‘absolutes’, too. Saying things like “You always say…” or, “You do this all the time…” are examples of ‘absolutes’. These should be avoided when you speak with him. Men really do appreciate being approached calmly. They love a woman with a soft touch and some sensitivity every now and again...so cut them some slack already! They are more likely to listen to you, tackle the situation, and work on resolving it if you can talk to them calmly, and explain why you feel the way that you do.
There is nothing worse than acting like a baby and putting your foot in your mouth, so ladies, stop it!
So, when he says something like this that offends you a tad bit, try not to put your foot in your mouth with a lame comment or something rude...OK, so your man has hurt your feelings? This happens now and then.
We women have a tendency to be incredibly emotional creatures. There is nothing wrong with that but, there are good and bad ways to tell your man that he has done this. First, men do not think like we do, so therefore, they don't get it, and couldn't possibly understand our feelings...if we are PMS'ing...Dear Lord, forget it. You might as well tape my mouth shut because you never know what will come out of it!
Most often, there is a very good chance that your man did not mean to hurt your feelings. In some cases, he may not have even realised that he did. A man who genuinely cares for you wants to know if he has hurt you. Of course he wants to know! He wants to know, so that he can take steps to fix the situation, or try to avoid doing so again. You matter to him, remember? However, there is a right and wrong way to go about letting him know how you feel at times like this.
I preach this to you ALL THE TIME,...Communication is key! Men do not like ‘drama’. So no drama mama! Even if he loves you a great deal, a man will shy away from you the minute you start to tearfully accuse him, or insult him, or yell and scream and rant at him because you are upset. Men really do not like such emotional displays. take my advice now and do what my mother said..."Put a sock in your mouth, and keep the yap shut!" They don't need to hear it nor do they want to heard us babble. As the years went by, I learned that mom was right. Talk about your problems, and if feelings get hurt, discuss them. The longer they go unspoken of, the harder it is to discuss it. Talking does a world of good, so do it!
Perhaps you have decided to give him ‘the silent treatment’, instead? I was sooooo good at this when I was married. There is a good chance that, if a man does not recognise this as a passive-aggressive display of anger on your part, he will simply think that you wish to be left alone, and will not approach you.
No. Calm yourself down first before approaching him on the matter. No tears, no accusations, no emotional displays. Wait until you are calm and, once you are, express yourself in a clear, emotionless, and honest way. Tell him that you are feeling upset and why, as concisely as possible. There is no need to go into hours worth of detail, either! That is equally ineffective so give it up. Rest your voice, and save your strength!
Resist the urge to accuse him; as if he knew that he was hurting you. Do not say, for example, “You love making me feel bad about myself”, or “You say you love me? Well, you obviously don’t because you just said…” Remember, he may not have even realised that he had hurt your feelings, so don’t assume that he knows or has done so deliberately! This kind of accusation will also put him on the ‘defensive’ straight away, and you want to resolve the conflict, don’t you? Once both of you are angry, or he has fled the situation in order to escape the ‘drama’, conflict resolution is very difficult to achieve, now, isn’t it?
Avoid ‘absolutes’, too. Saying things like “You always say…” or, “You do this all the time…” are examples of ‘absolutes’. These should be avoided when you speak with him. Men really do appreciate being approached calmly. They love a woman with a soft touch and some sensitivity every now and again...so cut them some slack already! They are more likely to listen to you, tackle the situation, and work on resolving it if you can talk to them calmly, and explain why you feel the way that you do.
There is nothing worse than acting like a baby and putting your foot in your mouth, so ladies, stop it!
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