It's All About Respect

I'm going to touch on a sensitive subject and it is one that everyone needs to focus on and take control of. I'm speaking of RESPECT. If you are a self respecting individual, chances are you want others to treat you with respect. No one wants to be put down or made to feel belittled in any way, yet people tend to do it day in and day out often not even thinking about what they've done nonetheless grasped their actions and what their negativity can do to someone.

On the contrary to what so many think about respect coming with maturity, that's simply hogwash. Age is not a prerequisite nor is it a magic key to gaining respect. I've seen plenty of people who are young be highly respected from their elders. I've also come across older people who I'd never respect because their actions are so out of line. It's about how you conduct yourself, your attitudes towards others and your actions.Regardless of whether you are a teenager, a student, a new member in your team/company, or someone starting out in the industry, you can be well respected by others, and my advice...You deserve it!

How do you treat one another?  Respect is after all a 2-way street. If you want others to respect you, you've got to respect others first. If you've ever come across someone who isn't being respectful to you, I invite you to think of just one person you're not being respectful to in your life now. Chances you'll find at least someone. Rather than harp on how people are not respectful to you, work on being respectful to those people you're treating poorly. Choosing how to better yourself is much more vital than worrying again about someone else. I was raised to respect myself, and I do. I firmly believe that how you act reflects upon others. Just by your actions you can change the way someone negative looks at perspectives and paint a much bright picture of how kindness is delivered.

In every field of work, the most highly regarded people are those who are the best at what they do. Everyone loves competent people, especially those who present their best work all the time. If you're just starting out in your profession, that doesn't mean you're not deserving of respect. It's about starting small and building from there.

 Whether it's in a professional or social setting, it's not appropriate to bad mouth people. Never ever, ever bad mouth others. It's almost as bad as gossip and let me tell you my friends, your uncertain actions WILL catch up to you, and when they do, it won't be pretty. You certainly don't earn respect this way. If you're unhappy with a certain individual and what he/she is doing, talk to him/her and work things out. Don't talk behind his/her back. This is the kind of behavior that attracts gossip and negativity and it spreads like wild fire. What you think about someone else or state can reflect upon what others now think of a certain individual or a group of people. Not only does it reflect badly on you as a person, it also hurts the other party, whether you realize it or not. Be honest and transparent in your communications, and for heaven sakes, stand up for yourself and your beliefs!

 Have you ever come across people who simply agree with whatever others say without much thought? I have, and it gets meaningless after a while as they just say yes to everything. Personally, I have more respect for someone who disagrees and stands up for himself/herself than someone who parrots others. Likewise, it is by having your own opinion and a mind of your own that you get respect from others. Just be YOU! I say that over, and over like a broken record. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, but do make sure you do it in a respectful manner to others.

Now ...here's my big beef: honor what you say. No one likes a dishonest or unreliable person. A well respected individual is one who is honest in his/her communications and can be trusted to do what he/she promised. I believe integrity is the first step to being our highest self. I always ensure I live up to my commitments and deliver beyond what I promise. If due to some reason you can't honor your commitments, make sure you address them accordingly to the other party and make up for it.

Be open to criticism. Contrary to popular belief, being respected doesn't mean you won't receive criticism. In fact, it's quite the opposite. This is key. Keep your cool and be the bigger person. Always entertain someones opinion or suggestions. It does not mean at all that you have to do as they say, but hey,...sometimes we have to listen and learn from others, especially if their advice will benefit you.

It is common sense to know that before you can demand respect from others, you must first respect yourself. It's funny that many of us seek respect from others, yet we don't even respect ourselves. Do you love yourself wholly and unconditionally? Do you treat yourself poorly? If so, it's time to make some changes whether it be in your work, your personal life, marriage, eating habits, exercise. Yes, both mentally and physically this is imperative.

 I heard a quote a while back and I loved it. I'll share it; "It's better to be an original version of yourself than an exact duplicate of someone else." try to remember that....People respect individuals who are original. Too many people try too hard to be someone else they are not and in the end they don't have a sense of identity. Discover who you are and what you stand for. What the world needs are more people who are true to themselves, not those trying to be a clone of someone else!

www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com

About Simply Delicious Lingerie:

Simply Delicious Lingerie is an online boutique specializing in sexy lingerie from designers such as Carrie Amber Intimates LLC ‘SeventilMidnight’, Be Wicked, Elegant Moments, Fantasy Lingerie, Raveware, and WMS Clothing. Our lingerie is the aphrodisiac of taste, and represents beauty and luxury at an affordable price. At Simply Delicious Lingerie we've personally selected a variety of sexy lingerie just for you and all of your sensuous rendezvous. We sell accessories, Bordello shoes, Pleaser shoes, garter sets, bridal lingerie, bridal undergarments, honeymoon lingerie, wedding day lingerie, wedding garter sets, wedding petticoats, affordable plus size lingerie, Halloween costumes, sexy plus size costumes,  fantasy lingerie, matching lingerie sets, men’s underwear, men’s Lingerie, sexy thigh high stockings, satin pajamas, plus size sleepwear, adult novelty items and sex swings including the Whip Smart Pleasure Swing. Have a lingerie party with us and experience fun!  Our mission is to take your sexy lingerie needs to the next level of comfort, intrigue, romance and sophistication. For more information or to place an order today please visit http://simplydeliciouslingerie.com/  Say YES (your everyday sexy) to Simply Delicious Lingerie! ®

Just Be Yourself...Stop Listening To What Other People Think

Are you 100% original? I am. There is no one like me and I like it that way. You either love me or you don't. I'm upbeat, positive, and grateful for all that I have. I have been blessed with good friends and a family like that of no other. Health? Maybe not so much, but not even that has kept me down. Often people get confused with my traits or my personality...why? I haven't a clue. I am a caring, giving, most loving woman and I am always the one who is here to listen and never judge. I was raised with awesome morals and I use them daily whether it be in friendships regarding my personal life or in the business world.

 No, I'm certainly not perfect, and I make mistakes,...but if you asked me today just how happy I am with 'me' I would tell you pretty damn happy. Why? I was never really one for worrying about what others thought of me. I was never an ass kisser and I never will be. I am just me! When it comes to self-improvement I take it all on myself, but we always need a little help from our friends...In my opinion, other people can help or hinder you in doing what’s right for you but NO ONE other than you knows what is right for you, and there is absolutely NO ONE other than you who is looking out for your best interest 100%. No one. Sure people care about you, but at the end of the day, you have to look in the mirror and accept yourself faults and all. You can listen to others tell you what's right or wrong for you until you are blue in the face, nonetheless, guess what...they don't walk every day in your shoes. 

Every one is different and our lives change constantly. This is not meant to scare you, but to liberate and empower you. Once you realize that everyone is doing what’s right and best for them in that moment, you are free to make your own decisions as to what to do for yourself.

Other people spend an awful lot of time, often with the best of intentions, trying to make other people conform to their view of how things are or should be. This can take the form of artful persuasion or it can take the form of bloody warfare; either way the root is the same: trying to impose one’s will on another. This is not good guys...

Once we understand the Law of Attraction, once we realize the awesome creative, reality-shaping power each of us possesses, the implications of such a statement are stark; people’s lives are being dictated by other people. How about yours? How is your life and are you happy with it? That's the question that you should be asking yourself! A

Are you letting someone else tell you what to think and believe and how to live? If so STOP it right now. Don't listen to what others think...you are an original. Quit allowing others to decide how you live! Your life is yours and yours alone. You decide, who, what, where and when things will partake. You decide if you will more forward or fall short only to go backwards. Life is not easy and there are times when we all want to crawl under a rock. Guess what? You need to be brave and strong and determined! Those whom crawl under that rock are giving up. You need to be a fighter. You need to be strong and you need to suck it up. I follow my heart. I listen to my gut, and I take the bull by the horns. Am I a fighter? You bet I am.

The more you push against something, the more you validate and therefore strengthen its existence, so in trying to change something about another person you only enforce the very behavior and situations you’re trying to eradicate. You create the exact opposite of your desired result and, in doing so, reinforce your own belief that the situation is as bad as you thought it was. Don't let fear drag you down. Don't use it as a crutch, and don't let others on the outside meddle and tell you what is best for you. Find your happy place. Trust me, my life has been all but easy and if you have followed my blog from the get-go you know where I am coming from, and where I have been. You also know that I would be the first person in line to cheer you on and to tell you to push yourself harder to be a better YOU! If I had listened to others, I would be living under the rock, but I was not at all going to allow myself to go backwards in life. I had a family to protect and the mama bear came out with her claws ready to fight.

The way to change the world is to change yourself, not other people; live the life you dream of and the world you live in will mold itself to the world of your dreams. My grandmother used to always say that if you were going to dream, dream BIG! It's all that I know, and it is how I raised my children. You can't fail if you don't try. This holds true in life, love and relationships. 

One person is not right and the other wrong. One person’s judgment does not determine another’s worth. One person’s fulfillment is not dependent on another’s approval and one person’s happiness is not determined by another’s actions. You have to make your own happiness, and only YOU are in control of your destiny. Find something that you desire more than anything an go after it. Don't be shy now...if you want it, come and get it.

You and other people are different for an incredibly important reason, one that’s crucial to the very nature and purpose of life in the Universe. The contrast and variety we experience, that which seems to cause so much conflict and disagreement, is the only way for us unique extensions of a singular consciousness to develop preferences and perspectives, the very stuff that desires are made of. And that’s what the Universe is made up, after all: the ever-changing stuff of our desires. 

Here’s how it works with you and your perfect partners in creation known as other people:

• You change your reality; you call the shots, and you make your own destiny!
• Other people drawn to your reality gravitate towards you and help strengthen and expand it;Other people repelled by your reality gravitate away from you, keeping you free of their encumbering influence on further strengthening and expanding the reality you’ve created. 

Customer Service = Self Confidence

Let's face it, dealing with the public every day can be at times down right difficult, and nobody knows it better than those who work in the customer service industry. Hi! Welcome to my world. Not only do I own a few online businesses where I have to deal with people over the phone and via email regarding orders placed, but I also work a retail job a few days a week for a company that I love, love love! I took this job because I am a people person and as much as I loved working from home with my two lingerie businesses, I surely did miss the interaction with customers. I am a people person for those of you who don't know me, and I am the happiest when I am surrounded by my team at work doing something that I enjoy doing...selling!

With angry customers, and even demanding bosses that show little respect, it can really drag down your self-confidence. No one wants or needs that, and it's very unhealthy. Sometimes the job itself can cause a lack of confidence if the worker feels like he or she should have a better job. Don't feel bad about yourself because you're working in customer service. In tight economic times, many people turn to jobs in the food service and retail industries. I can honestly say that working again after so many years in the business most customers are very cordial, however, there have been stories that I have heard from others about how rude and ruthless customers can be. To these people I ask...have you no conscious? Do you not have any respect for normal honest people living their daily life trying to support themselves and their families? Do you actually think that you are superior to these retail employees and businesses? If so, boy do I feel sorry for you. Come down off your high horse and get a grip before someone smacks you into tomorrow. My advice to those of you who fit this description; have a little respect, it goes a long way!

 If you start to believe that you're "better than" the job, you're only setting yourself up to feel down about yourself. Look at your work experience as an adventure, a chance to observe humanity. The saying may be that "the customer is always right," but don't believe in this at the expense of your own pride and self-worth. Customers aren't in the right when they are belligerent and belittling towards customer service representatives. Don't allow them to let you think less of yourself. 

While many customer service jobs involve working face to face with customers, others involve taking phone calls. If you're working at a call center, the potential for abuse from customers can be even greater since they're most likely calling you because they have a problem. Don't I know it...I worked for a call center once in a mortgage department and people were down right nasty. If I heard the term "YOU PEOPLE" one more time I was going to throw the headset and the damn phone right out the window. Don't let a caller's attitude towards you affect your own feelings of confidence in yourself in and your abilities. If a customer gets angry, you should also avoid responding in kind. If a customer is upset, you'll only make things worse by becoming mean yourself and you'll only feel bad about the situation later. If you are going to talk negative about a customer, for goodness sakes, make sure that the headset is muted. Take it from me, it's not pretty if what you think you're saying is private turns out to be 'not so private' when you suddenly hear a pause and a scream on the other end followed by the sound of the phone being hung up and silence!

On a similar note, don't take anything too personally. If you're the cashier at grocery store, you're likely to hear complaints about the slow workers at the deli counter, the high price of milk and the number of sale items that weren't on the shelves. If you work for a gas station, you're going to hear people yap about the high cost of gas  when the barrel has now dropped below $85.00

 If this happens, you should certainly be sympathetic of their plight and refer them to management if necessary, but realize that they're complaining about things that are completely unrelated to your individual job. You can only control how positive the customer's experience is when they're right in front of you. You shouldn't feel bad just because their discontent is being directed at you. Now, if a customer does lodge a complaint against you, then you should listen carefully to the issue. Make the necessary corrections, using the problem to your advantage to improve your work, but don't dwell on it. Everyone makes mistakes and one complaint doesn't mean you're a horrible person.

Treat everyone with respect, and you will get respect in return. If you're in a management position, assert your authority in a way that doesn't demean your workers. If you're the underling, listen to those in management positions, and if you have a problem with them, take it up through appropriate channels. Picking a fight with those in authority only leads to bad feelings and an unpleasant work environment. 

Come to work with a positive attitude. Your fellow workers may be negative, but you don't have to let them color your view of the situation. Don't let someone else rain on your parade! If you have a good attitude about the entire work experience, you're less likely to let small things get you down and will feel better about yourself overall. 

Do the best job you can, even if you're doing the most menial task possible. Cleaning bathrooms certainly isn't glamorous, but it's vital to creating a positive experience for customers. If you take pride in your work, you'll have pride in yourself. When you do quality work, you're also more likely to get praise, raises and promotions, which are always confidence boosters. 

Overall, the best advice for workers is to have a positive attitude and maintain a sense of perspective. Will the customer that just yelled at you really matter tomorrow? Don't take it to heart...just brush it off. Don't let it eat away at you because if you do, it will! Then don't let it drag you down today. If you keep this in mind, you'll be able to emerge from the world of customer service with your confidence intact!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Life,...A Strong Dose of Reality

Have you ever in your life felt as if you were part of a family, yet you didn't seem to fit in? Have you ever felt as if you were stuck in the middle, sort of like how they say when you die, you your spirit lingers before it leaves this earth? You feel as if you are caught in the middle of two worlds. Welcome to my world! At age 19, I thought I knew it all. I was too smart to listen to my parents while theoretically did nothing but love me, nurture me and raise myself and my siblings, a younger brother and a younger sister to the best of their ability. We learned by the grace and love from them as well as our grandparents how to love and respect others. This is great because little did we know then that when we grew up, because adults and stepped into the "real world" what life was about to throw our way. Life as I knew if in my own naive world, a world similar to LaLa Land was about to be tarnished forever. I was about to get my first strong dose of reality, one that I will carry with me forever.

When I married at 19, I left home and moved to Michigan. There I was away from my family and learning how to care for a new family, "my own family." I lived in Michigan for some 24 years and certainly experienced my share of ups and down, but with the grace of God watching out for me as I believe I've used up too many of my 9 lives, never let me down. Having faith is the key. Without it, you have nothing. My grandmother used to always say "Michele God doesn’t give you anything that he doesn't think you can handle!" Ok, for a while that say with me all right, but after the divorce, the attack on my life, and cancer 4 times in the past year, you sort of have to ask yourself "When is enough, enough?" When will I get my break?

For a long time I thought I was being punished. After years of not feeling like I fit in, being the black sheep of the family, I realized that really, I didn't fit in. Perhaps it was because I married and moved away so young? Maybe it was because I was so different than my siblings? I used to spend a lot of time, (days in fact) at my grandparents house (Baba and Dedo.) through out life nothing came easy for me, except being loved. That was the gift that so few get to experience and so many take for granted. Love, one of the most precious of gifts had gifted me, and I then realized that my place in this world was to love others and spread the love.

At young ages my kids were given less for Christmas as their gifts from me. After the divorce 13 years ago, I needed to show my children the world and let them experience life, first in their own back yard, and then in other countries where they would see firsthand how bad others really do have it. At 14 and 12 years of age, I made them surrender a gift at Christmas that they wanted and I donated the money that would have been spent on it on families who had very little for Christmas. They did this and it made them feel good. Afterwards, they actually wanted to do more. This was music to my ears, so we did. We donated to homeless shelters; we helped to stock food pantries all the while knowing that we had nothing to eat in ours. Single mother with low paying job didn't get us much, but when you had the bond that we did, you really didn't need much.

Now as my kids are grown, I find them doing things on their own without me to lend a hand to those who need it. My son donates clothes and volunteers for any kind of fashion shows that raise awareness and monies for those who need it. My daughter volunteered at the Children’s Cancer Hospitals in Houston Texas, where she got her employer, a large oil company to donate generously and contribute funds to allow her marketing and sales team the opportunity to make holiday baskets for this family and for these children knowing in all reality that these kids would not be coming home. Sad that you are put on this earth and for such a very short time. My daughter said that nothing touched her heart more and filled her with sadness than to see these children with cancer on their final destination. As difficult as this was for her, she continues to do work for them out of love. She also has, like myself a special place in her heart for Shelters for battered and abused women. She donates business attire and whatever else these women and children need whenever they need it because 12 years ago, a bunch of strangers helped me and my children. I truly believe in karma, and I say most definitely, PAY IT FORWARD!!!

I was violently attacked and beaten in the year 2000 at my office by an intruder. It made me a victim until I refused to let this horrible man who did this to me win. I went to counseling and a very special woman who I met with twice a week brought me back to reality and gave me life again...this time a renewed life. While I laid on a cement floor getting the crap beaten out of me, I prayed not to let me die,...and my prayers were answered. I am here today because I had the faith and the courage to fight and not be a statistic. My daughter and son lived with me as I was black and blue from head to toe for 11 weeks. They sat while I went through surgeries for nerve damages in my hand, with blurred vision and hearing loss due to a severe ear drum nearly being shattered. As painful as this day February 10th still is to me, I now look at it as a second chance at life. The moral of this story here is this: Life is not permanent. You can be taken away tomorrow. Always remember to tell your loved ones how deeply you care for them and say "I love you!" This was my new beginning, my opportunity to make my life right.

What did I get out of this all you wonder? Well, as I sat here pondering just what I would say and how I would share this with you, it dawned on me. I attribute all of who I am to my family. I am the woman who is strong, and no longer weak....the woman who is independent never again to be codependent. I am the caring, loving woman who left home at such a young age to start my own family and missed out on the one I left behind....I believe I have been giving a second chance to start anew and catch up on 28 year of history that I never had the opportunity to know other than short weekend visits.

To my parent who never stop amazing me, I say "Wow" they should be patting themselves on the back for raising 3 awesome kids who turned out better than great. To the grandparents that have since perished who left impressions on me that will live forever. To an aunt of mine who gives me much strength and determination to be a better person, and who is probably the only only one besides my children that still laugh at Babas goofy sayings and quotes. To my children both of whom saved me in more ways than one when I felt I had nowhere to go, and no one to turn to, they are my rock, and I attribute all of whom I have become to these two wonderful young adults; they taught me to be patient and how to appreciate life and all that is truly has to offer. I look at them sometimes and it's as if I am looking in the mirror; to my brother and sister who I love more than anything and hope to reacquaint myself with now that I am back, and hopefully drive them a little crazy. (Hey, I have some catching up to do) They turned into two really great people, married and are happy with their spouses and their families. My brother-in-law "Tim" whom I call "Nancy" (inside joke) but he knows I love him. He is the best brother-in-law a gal could wish for. He makes me laugh. He's a doctor and he is so smart.My sister-in-law who after years of not knowing at all, now I am beginning to see that she clearly loves her family and would do anything for them. Last but not least....we always save the best for last....My little sister, who is 8 years younger than me. I feel as if I left behind at such a young age. I didn;t get to see her go to prom, or on her first date, and I was never here to stand up for her when someone picked on her.To the woman who still looks 16 and has a heart the size of Texas, I say "I love you" and we have much making up to do. I'm not sure if she will ever know how proud I am of her for her education, and all of her accomplishments, but I truly am. She was such an inspiration to me with her business savvy ways, her spunk, determination and her stubborn streak...perhaps I got my energy from her? At any rate...She rocks!

What I realized is that life doesn’t get better than this. Material objects make us happy, sure. But you can’t take them with you, and if you could heaven would need a very large storage closet. I realized that 1) I never needed a man to make me happy, I thought that I did, but I didn’t. 2) Accept the things that we cannot change and grant us the strength to move forward having learned some very good lessons about love and life, and 3) Respect others as you would want them to respect you. 4)  Follow the path of destiny. 5) Love yourself for all that you are good and the bad and realize that everyone makes mistakes, for if we didn’t we would never learn. 6) Life, I have learned is like playing roulette. It is a gamble. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But if you don't try, you'll never know.

 'What' and 'If" the two most nonthreatening words,...both harmless as can be, but but them together; combined and they could haunt you for the rest of your life..... What If?

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