Dating Sites and looking for L-O-V-E or L-U-S-T?

Dating sites seem to be the route to take these days to finding love, and there are plenty of them out there to choose from…but what it if you don't desire love, rather lust? What if you aren't looking for the husband, kids and white picket fence? What if marriage was not an option? What if a past relationship went south and you just weren't cut out for more heartache? What if you don't want the whole enchilada that goes along with commitment or marital bliss? What if you are just seeking a lover, a NSA kind of guy? What if you just want a 'boy toy' if you will? Someone to give you an exclusive membership to their very own pleasure ride in the sky...their personal 'mile high club?' A man who you don’t want to be married to rather just share your private and alone time with a few times a month on intimate dinners, weekend getaways and travel, then you go your separate ways until your next encounter or get together? You might just find a certain kind of desired love and lust with this that brings you both together even stronger with every new rendezvous. Yes...sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too! 

When I think about meeting a man and dating him, or being his lover, I think about two people, at first strangers coming together to form a certain sense of harmony and really connecting on a variety of levels. When I think about a relationship whether it be long term or short term, the questions is not how long will it last rather, how good do these two people mesh together each time the unite? It takes two special people coming together and feeling a connection, first via emails, texts, and the phone and then in person. Many things go into this to make all the good things unfold, but oh if you plan this out and together make goals and commitments of some sort it will all fall into place and it very well can be a win/win for both of you. What is this you ponder? It’s called synchronicity.

Need me to spell it out for you? It is the phenomenon of meaningful things happening together in such a way that they are creatively linked, although one thing did not cause the other. It is as if there is a pattern to the events that is showing you that you are going in the right direction...and the right direction is always good. When you put forth effort and enthusiasm, it shows you are genuine and sincere. You're not playing games, you're both adults and deserve to be treated as such. 

So many things go into the full equation of asking; “Is he really the one that will make me happy?” or “Is he going to be discreet and respect me?” If he is the right guy for you, then getting together should be like a walk in the park. Don’t sweat the small stuff…that’s what I tell my friends. Making a connection with someone is not easy at all, in fact when you meet on line it can be even more difficult because you’ve viewed a profile and determined that you like or dislike him or her. If you do like them you proceed to get to know more about them because there is some sort of an attraction and there is so much more to an individual than simply their profile alone. As long as you are completely honest and have excellent communication skills all will be fine, not to worry. Just be YOU! You will find everything falling into place as if it was 'meant to be'. If there are obstacles now and then, they will be overcome; generally, your path will be smooth because you both went into this type of relationship with the same expectations not only as friends, but lovers. 

Not every chance encounter is magical. There may be some negative affects to meeting someone; sometimes you may meet the right person at the wrong time. Synchronicity is not there and if you try to force a relationship to happen, it will hit a brick wall, and ouch, you don’t want that! My strong non-professional advice would then be that should this happen to you; you’d better to let him go. If he is your Mr. Right, he will come back into your life again later, when it is the right time for both of you. I always say ‘don’t push fate’ it has to happen on its own. 

You may be looking for weeks or months for someone special and not find him, then one day you may be getting ready to close out a membership for a dating site and see a message from someone and decide to read it…it very well could be that one message that caught your eye was all that it took to produce a wonderful new friendship and passion in your life. Erotic and exotic fun may have just hit a new level. As Alanis Morissette once sang Isn't it "Ironic" don't ya think? Ironic that a cosmic connection such as this may just be explosive and then you can really kiss the dating sites goodbye!

Ahhh the 'Booty Call'

Ahhh the booty call; truth be told, as far as I know most every man and woman has heard about it and virtually every man (mostly) loves it. Women on the other hand, they don't always like getting that awakening and sometimes disturbing phone call in the middle of the night with a 'hey baby, whatcha doin?'...on the other end of the receiver. Catch my drift boys? The problem with it though is that it is a touchy subject that most men would rather dance around than talk about. At the time they make the 'booty call' they only have one thing on their mind and it's not chit-chat. One day you gt it and the next nothing...zero, zip! You can have it today and it can be gone tomorrow...it all depends on how you handle it and how you approach it.

Most men (that I am aware of) don't know how to keep the call frequent. Oh fellas, figure this one out or your will have nothing at the end of the night but some really sore blue balls. Pay attention to your woman's needs. You surely cannot expect to ignore her, or treat her as if she was the last person on earth and then think you were going to invite her to your house for dinner or a hot tub and then have whoopie did you? Shame, shame, shame on you!!! Fellas you need to learn how to keep the main iingredients in store. This means that you are required to keep the recipe tasting delicious not malicious. If you appease her, it won't be like a booty call time and time again. 


The main reason is because most men don't have a clue, or understand that there are a few rules that must be followed in order to prevent themselves from getting the boot instead of the call. Are you with me so far? Listen, relationships or even simple dating are OK, but men like and want what they generally cannot have most often...that doesn't mean that they can't have a partner to satisfy their primal needs: sexual intercourse...it means use your nugget fellas and plan it our  smart if you want to get some booty at your beck and call. It's not about getting drunk and making bad decisions either. Think guys...just think!

 You see, most women, most nice women that is... will avoid the sleazy reputation that goes along with a one night stand...am I right? Most women will say yes. I know what you are thinking...but do they do it? 

So, what about women? Sure we can send out a booty call just the same...and sometimes we do! I was at work this evening and the subject came up. It's funny you know because earlier in the day I pondered what to blog about, then, a coworker said to me (we'll just call her JoJo)...

JoJo said to me; Hey Shelly, guess who got a booty call at 2:00 am last night? I looked at her and said YOU? She said yup ME. I said OMG did you say no? She responded with a "No, I told him OK but then I  told him that he couldn't kiss me because I was sick." That reminded me of the Julia Roberts part in Pretty Woman where she said that she doesn't kiss on the mouth. I laughed. JoJo cracked me up, and it was then that I realized that I needed to once again write about the booty call.

You see, it's ok if you are friends or have been partners and you are both cool with it, but for heaven sakes, do not call someone that you've not seen or spoken to in months and try to get a quickie...it's not going to happen fellas. Use common sense and have some respect for crying out loud. What kind of booty all do you get?  

www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com

Sex and a Healthier YOU!

Get Healthier...It's All In What You EAT! Eating foods that contain high fat and calories have no beneficial value to the body, so why eat them? In fact, these foods will eventually leave you feeling sluggish, tired, and quite unhealthy. Most people feel that their sex life is much the same way. Experiencing orgasms and the pleasure from the sexual experience, affects the mental and physical health in both positive and negative ways. If you eat foods that are not good for your body, the body will not function to your liking. The same will happen if you neglect the sexual aspect of your body. The sexual experience profoundly affects a person completely in mind, soul, and body. You feel energized. You feel happy, as if you can do anything and the world is at your feet. There are times though, that you are exhausted and sex is the farthest thing from your minds. Your life will suffer greatly if you continue to think of sex as something you will get to when you feel like it. If you continue to live in this fashion, it will become more difficult to put the fire back in your intimate life. Just as when you let your body decline, the harder it is to get them back in shape. It takes a lot of dedication and hard work. It's time to turn this around and eat what is good for you to get that sex drive back on balance!

Did you know that zinc is a very important vitamin in regards to your sexual health? It is, and many foods that have zinc in them live in the ocean. This might just be the reason that oysters have been known as an aphrodisiac. The feeling may not be from the oyster at all, but the zinc that is found in the oyster. Keeping your body fit, exercising, and getting adequate rest makes for the best aphrodisiac. When your body feels good and you are rested, you can fully engage in the sexual experience and glow in the pleasure it brings to you. When you engage in sex, afterwards you feel relaxed, de-stressed. You feel almost as if whatever was bothering you beforehand is tolerable and within reach. Sex is a great reliever of stress, so everyone should have lots of it!  You also know that stress can kill too, so take it easy... enjoy life, slow down and change your habits and your ways. Do something for YOU. Take a weekend and get away for some sexual erotica. No time like the present to spice it up and kick it up a notch.

Zinc is not only an aphrodisiac; it also has properties that increase fertility, heighten the senses, and regulates sperm function. Bananas and strawberries have properties that improve sexual stamina and figs aid in fertility. Several other foods are high in zinc and that aid in soft supple skin. Some foods to consider adding to your diet:

• Chicken
• Asparagus
• Almonds
• Red Meats
• Avocados
• Brown rice
• Soy
• Camembert cheese
• Tomatoes
• Chili peppers
• Ginger

The above list of foods aids in increasing sperm count, antioxidants, improves circulation, and stimulates nerve endings; of course, all of these can greatly enhance sexual pleasure. Therefore, when you eat right, you feel great. When you feel great, you want to enjoy great sex. Most people typically desire to achieve that passionate moment(s) of intense sexual behavior. There is no downside to this. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Dull sex life, or rich delightful sex life? I'll bet you never thought eating healthier could do all this? Make the changes and turn that intimacy back up! Have a healthier you and a happier sex life!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Relationships and Pillow Talk...

 Guys love girls who present themselves well both in bed, and out. Might sound like the cold hard truth, but hey, it is what it is.If you are a woman reading this and are appalled by it, you may want to stop here because we are about to travel through the good, the bad and the ugly. Lets face it…cold hard fact- Men are visual creatures and they are impressed by what they see in their line of vision….so with that in mind, wear Simply Delicious Lingerie and turn up the heat! Oh, But be aware of the impression you give to the way you present yourself. You want to look great and get attention without looking really desperate.

One thing leads to another and you hit it off…then you date, then you share intimate details, and family history and you find one another supporting one another, right? Well, that’s what most women want…after sex is just as important as the whole ‘before sex’ anticipation. They say that women get attached more to a man once they have sex. Well, it if it for real, then that might be true, BUT if you don’t share the chemistry with her fellas, DON’T string her along and lead her to believe that she is it for you, when in fact she is just another notch in your belt loop. Whats wrong with you? Women have feelings and you need to be more alert and adherent to her. All relationships start with communication. That is KEY.

So, let’s get back to where I was going with this…quite frankly, it is easy to dismiss simply conversation as just sweet nothings, but the key to relationship happiness may be in your pillow talk. Yup, you heard me. It’s key factor in relationship and we women LOVE it, so suck it up boys and learn how to listen. It’s not all about you…nor is it all about us. I’ve learned that with one man in particular that I dated a few years ago, he understood me, he just wanted more. What more could I have given him? Plenty, but I wasn’t blonde and a size 4. I was 10 years older than him and he had no children, and his mother wanted more for him, as if I didn’t? I’ve learned over the years that things have a way of working out, and on the contrary to what I thought was right or wrong then, he taught me that what I do want and need is a man who will listen to me talk, and really hear what it is that I am saying. I loved this man for the pillow talk. I could tell him anything.

As I wrote my book, and blogs, and gathered references and literature on lingerie and what men like and want, I learned what he wanted and needed. Surveys on pillow talk revealed that people liked hearing their own name because it increased rapport and intimacy. Recall how in everyday life when someone says your name, you instantly feel more noticed, useful or special.Scientists have found that women whose partners finish off a night of passion by immediately turning over and nodding off are left feeling insecure and craving affection. Psychologists at the University of Michigan said cuddling and talking after sex is a crucial way for a couple to express their commitment to each other. What she doesn’t want to hear for sure is…anything negative. Sharing the moment positively will always ensure that this time is special for you both. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Bedtime is for loving, relaxing and yes, sleeping. It is not a time for fighting finding faults in you mate, so show her romance!

If you don’t know what exactly romance is, you have bigger problems than I thought…but read on:Romance is a nebulous thing with the curious property of being indescribable but not definable. We women certainly won’t muck with your head and try to suggest there’s an ultimate definitive definition out there. Some people will try to do just that and come up with some tidy little definition, like, “Romance is showing you care.”

If you’re a woman, of course, you were born with an innate knowledge of this stuff and need not read further, because you’ve got it all figured out right? WRONG! Relationships are not fly-by-night and they certainly were not meant to be flings of any sort unless it is a one night stand and then there won’t be pillow talk. Finding that right person for you that you can talk to about everything and anything without getting pressure or shit from them is not easy to find. It does happen, and when you find this person that you can talk to about anything…whether they be your partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, lover, sugar daddy, sugar baby, mate, or whatever….TALK. Pillow talk is a great way to communicate and get to the core of this persons inner being. Take the time to get to know them,…my guess is that you’ll be glad that you did. As for me, some day I’ll meet the man who can share pillow talk with me and when I do, I am going to burn his ear up. (just kidding)….

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

The Language of Love

Everyday people ask me what is love, really...and how do I know if I am 'in love?' Well, it's different for everyone. It's when the idea of doing nothing sounds like something! In the early stages of dating, there is a hunger to discover who the other person is, but this time also feels scary because he or she may not be what you thought or — even worse — you may not be what they're looking for. Even though the stakes aren't very high at the beginning, we feel that they are, so we play at dating, and one of the easiest ways to play is to do something at all times — either publicly or privately. The dating ritual is about finding places to go and things to do. Being yourself is wanting the entire enchilada. Everything else on the How-You-Know-You're-in-Love list hints at being yourself, but when you truly love someone, you want them to know who you are and love you for all that you are, not just for who you pretend to be. When you're in a truly loving relationship, you can be honest and direct, so do take chances. Don't be afraid, but DO be honest!

The language of love is spoken in many different languages, nonetheless, it all has the same meaning. There is a basic breakdown of five different love languages that makes it just a little easier for us to understand our mates traits. Once you've figured out what your partner's love language is you'll be able to show them how you feel in a way that is fulfilling to them, and good for you!

For example, let's say that your partner likes to hear the words "I love you" often. Even though they know that you love them, just hearing the phrase can brighten their day. But perhaps you thought that you should express your love by buying little gifts. Your loved one likely appreciates the gesture whenever you show your love, but at the same time it's not their personal preference of how they like to receive love. 

The Love Languages Explained;

1. Be Verbal Lovers.... As the Material Girl once sang; Express Yourself! Like the example above, some people just like to hear gestures of love such as "I love you" and "I appreciate everything that you do." For this type of person, you'll want to provide constant encouragement, never letting things go unsaid.They tend to need this for reassurance as well as to just hear you say it!

• Try verbalizing your appreciations in some way each day.
• Don't assume your partner knows what you're thinking and feeling - speak up!

2. Time Well Spent. One of the love languages has to do with spending quality time with your partner. This doesn't mean just casual conversation; it means the times where your partner is your main focus. If your partner enjoys quality time, here are some things to consider:

• Choose a certain time each day or week where you're completely dedicated to your partner and his/her needs. This means that you need to shut off the TV, put down the paper, and listen!
• Think of activities you can do together to really connect and enjoy your free time together.
• Make sure you have a good relationship with yourself; it's the only way you can truly connect with your partner. Make sure that your communication skills are are savvy! It is the only way that a real relationship will survive. Have faith in your partner, and enjoy your every moment with them.
• You're willing to go somewhere you hate. Yes, you heard me;  The willingness to go someplace you actually hate with someone you actually love — and not be a pain in the neck about it — is one of the hallmarks of love. When you first start to date, you're tempted to do whatever it takes to get the date off the ground because you're blinded by the possibilities. During the next phase of dating, you stand up for yourself and don't do the activity you hate. This is a necessary evolution because if there is to be true love, it has to be based on who you are, not who you think your beginning-to-be-significant other will like. But once you actually get to love, your need to constantly assert yourself is softened by your beloveds influence and the sense that you can give because your love will reciprocate your generosity.

3. Be the GererousGift Giver. Another love language is one where your partner may enjoy giving and receiving gifts. This isn't because they're greedy; it means they're visual people who enjoy seeing proof of your deepening relationship. If you're with this type of partner, try these tips:

• Even if you're a big saver, make the effort to spend at least a little money or make some homemade or handmade gifts...something that says "I'm thinking of you!"
• Leave loving cards and notes for them, they LOVE this! Something so small can be the most meaningful.
• Don't give gifts everyday, but give the gift that they will certainly remember!

4. The Chores. We can't forget the chores when it comes to a language of communication between partners. Since there are many things that need to get done around the house, it often causes problems when you try to figure out who's doing what. Keep these tips in mind:

• Everyone has different chores that they deem important, some of them are more important to him than her and vica versa.
• Figure out which ones your partner doesn't enjoy and you do them instead.
• Chores involve thinking ahead, which your partner will certainly appreciate.

5. Physical Affection. The physical affection love language can get complicated. Expressing your love physically doesn't only mean in lovemaking. It involves simple touches too. Soft strokes of your hand against his/her face. Gently pushing her hair aside from her eyes so that you can see her true beauty, and kissing his nose or forehead and smiling at him.  Each partner will usually have some kind of opinion when it comes to this language:

• Figure out which kinds of touches your partner enjoys, it may be a gentle rub of their shoulders or some cuddling while watching television, or while spooning in bed.
• This is equally important, figure out which touches irritate your partner as in the future you will want to stay away from that.
• Get to know your partner's moods so you know when to express physical affection.

The Combination

Your partner will likely speak a certain combination of these love languages. As your relationship deepens, you'll get to know your partner better and better. It may even help to outright discuss the topic of love languages with your partner to better understand each other.Sometimes what one does isn't exactly what the other may or may not think to do. Often we overlook the little things that are so simple that they would have made his/her day! Use your listening skills to determine what you can do to get closer to your partner and enjoy every day with him.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Why are Men Cheap?

This is for all of the women who have had their eyes on a particular man, some for months or even years, only to find out when that opportunity finally arises when you can cease the day and get him to notice you the air exits your balloon of happiness...and why? He turns out to be a real dick that's why. I hear stories from time to time but this one especially hit a nerve because it pertains to a pretty young lady that I work with whose name I will not mention but she loves 'cows!' To this young lady I say this; Any man that likes you and really wants to get to know you will move heaven and earth to make it happen. If a man (regardless of his age) wants to become part of your life, your surroundings, as well as your family and circle of friends he won't stop until he wins the affection of all those who questioned his integrity. He will roll out the red carpet and treat you like a queen, just as you should be treated! Never settle for less and always expect more! How do you find this guy and what do you look for/and not look for in a partner? Well, ask yourself a few questions?

Does he have a generous spirit?

You see, women view how a man spends -or fails to spend - his money as a direct reflection of how generous and giving he is as a person. For example, a man who calculates his every dime and rarely treats his woman, or his friends for that matter, will be seen as a tightwad who puts his own bottom line above all else. Shame on you. 

My theory is, "you can't take it with you when you go so for God sakes, enjoy it while you are alive!" This means; have fun, get to know a young lady and ask her what she wants to do? Inviting her over to watch a movie is not a date, it is a direction question in a round about way of asking her to come over and get acquainted so that you can try to get into her britches. This is not a date, it is you being a cheap ass and wanting something for nothing. In my opinion, you are a fool. Men think with the wrong head and one of these days it will surely get you in trouble. One of these days, you will wake up and realize that the 'one' you let get away could have just been the woman of your dreams and you blew it you moron! Are you serious? What kind of men do this and think for a moment that us gals don't have enough common sense to smack you in the head with a 2x4 (which BTW happens to also be the name of a new man candle at Yankee Candle.)

Women want a man who can open up allowing us to see your vulnerable side as well as your kind, loving side. You character and integrity makes you who you are. Your personality extends your warmth and compassion, so communicate with her!Get to know her, and enjoy your time with this incredible woman. She is one of a kind.

Does he respect you and treat you well?

Women love fun, but fun as in GOOFY fun, not sluty fun! Another reason why women don't like cheap men is that it is much harder to have a good time with a cheap man than it is with one who doesn't mind investing in one. Unfortunately, those activities that are the most fun tend to cost a little more. Consider watching a movie at home in your parents basement is not at all the same as taking a young lady out for dinner and to see a good film. Listen fellas, I've always said, you get what you pay for. If you want a good respected woman with morals and ethics out the wazoo, you won't find her in a short skirt, or at the mall buying clothes three sizes too small. You'll find her out at social functions,  charity events, at church, school or in a place that she feels is comforting to her. 

Respect is something that you cannot buy, you must earn it along with trust, so next time you think about asking a woman to 'come over to watch a movie' and your intentions are nothing more than you just use her to get intimate...think again my friend. She may be a girl who has been with many others, and my guess is that she is probably is not at all a good girl if she says OK all the time to visiting you in your man cave just to get lucky. Real women want security and substance.

 Keep in mind should you choose a girl at school or that you met while out at a bar or party that is (let's just say, easy and keep it at that) she's probably has just passed on to you a good STD so look whose britches are itching now? It would have been more impressive to find the woman that shows dignity and character. Yes we like to have fun, but girls want to be respected and treated well just the same. My grandmother used to always say 'if you are not shy about bringing her home to meet mama, she must be a good girl.' So ladies, ask yourself this? Have you met your guys parents or family members, if yes, way to go good for you...and if no, he is probably using you and is ashamed of you. Sorry, it all comes out the same no matter how you slice it.

Hey, how about meeting her halfway?

Yes, now there's a thought! Many women are generous by nature and love doing things for their significant others, like making them a nice dinner. It is only natural that such women expect their men to give a little bit as well, whether by taking them out for an all-expenses paid night on the town, or taking off work early to surprise them. Most women will quickly tire of doing things for their men if they get nothing in return, materially or otherwise, so fellas, pitch in and 'whoo' her now! Show here that you like adventure and spontaneous fun and that you want to get to know all about her! Take the path least traveled, you'll find more fun there and you're not doing the same thing. Do something that you both enjoy doing. Find exotic places to travel, find dive bars that serve your favorite drink in their high end red solo cups, and shop with them for items that you need for your place. By doing this, you are getting to really get inside of your partners head to find out a lot of their likes and dislikes. 

Never get played for the fool!

By no means should you always pick up the bill and buy your woman expensive gifts. If she expects it, honey you better have your track shoes and already be running for the door, because it is only going to get worse! No woman has any right to view a man as a meal ticket, not ever. The key is to strike that delicate balance between not being cheap and not being taken advantage of financially.If you find someone that you like, get to know them, and share the responsibilities. Sure it is fun when men buy us things, and if they want to that's great. What I am stating clearly is not to make demands on them and just assume that they are going to pay for everything and be your meal ticket. Don't treat them like a doormat. Always be one step ahead of the game and you'll never get burned. Show a man your classy side and he will find warmth in your heart and mind. As for you guys reading this; think about what I just said and if you are one of those arrogant slime ball guys that are cheap and only want sex, you are sad my friend. Life is short, take a good look around you and if you don't like what you see, make some changes! To this young man that I spoke about earlier in my story, you just made a very big mistake my friend, for the young lady that you let go is one in a million!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Sex...It Is Worth the Wait

You do know that inside every adult male is their sex-crazed adolescent boyish self still trying to push the limits. In his mind, there is a magic number of dates after which you automatically have sex. Ok, first of all I need to say that I totally disagree that all men are like this, but really? I  am going to need some serious comment feedback, so get to it boys...click on the button below marked 'comment' and type away because I am just dying to hear your responses! Anyway, getting back to the higher percentage of these men who think about this,...my question to you is; How many times do you think about sex and dating? Perhaps two or three dates or maybe two or three hours into the first date? Gals if your man is making the moves this quickly into a new dating type of relationship, tell him to slow down otherwise he's going to visit the moon via your foot up his ass real quickly! 

Let's flip the tables for a moment though and see it from a woman's side so to speak...so meanwhile, you think he’s sexy, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to slide between the sheets and do the wango tango. So how do you know when the time is right? Well, for generations you have heard people say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” This means something different now than it did 20 some years ago. Seriously, here is my point of view and if it pisses some of you off, those were not my direct intentions. Maybe we don't want to buy the damn cow...owning it may be too costly, and high maintenance...maybe we just want to rent it? Maybe women are too afraid of committed relationships and casual is better? Hey, something to think about...you might not have to buy the cow, but our milk certainly does NOT COME CHEAP!

With the old fashion saying; that tells you that if you give sex too soon, then he has no reason to make a commitment. Maybe...If sex for you demands at least a serious relationship with the potential to become permanent, then hold off until the time is right for you. Good advice if that's what you prefer, just remember that you call all the shots.

On the other hand, you don’t expect him to hang around if all he gets is a polite peck on the cheek at the end of the evening. It’s a difficult line to walk between prude and slut. No one wants to be know as the 'walk of shame gal.' Another great truth is that men are quick to announce declarations of love to get sex and women give in on sex in the hope that it will lead to love.Ladies, make him work for it. No ifs, ands, or buts about this one. 

At any point in the deal if either party is dishonest, then the physical connection becomes profane. As a woman, you crave intimacy with your guy, that's a given for most women. If he’s mature enough to keep himself in check, you can both enjoy some closeness and touching that builds intimacy without pushing things too far too fast.

A smart guy knows that he keeps his zipper shut long enough to build genuine caring and intimacy. Then when the time is right he’s going to have the best sex of his life. It’s all about putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own -some of you should actually try this...it is something that women have done for centuries and men still sometimes don’t comprehend.

If you don’t give him sex, you might lose him. Then let him go. His insistence on sex early in the dating relationship tells you that it’s all about him and you are merely a convenience.

Do you want to be his whore, his toy or his maid? That’s sex not intimacy. If you start out merely meeting his sexual needs and taking leftovers for yourself, don’t expect it to get any better if you do form a long term relationship. 

No matter how he tries to argue the point, sex is not the way to find out whether you are compatible as a couple. Communication is key and we all need it to build that solid ground floor of a relationship. Without it, yours will crumble. Sex is only one aspect of your relationship. My grandmother used to say that sex was the easy part. Learning one an others like/dislikes, up's & down's, etc is the difficult part. There are plenty of couples who have wild, fantastic sex but can’t get along in a normal conversation.Why? Because it's all about sex and that's it. That's sad actually don't you think? 

Oh sure they passed the sex test, but maybe they still went through a messy divorce. How reliable was that test? He may also tell you that the relationship will only progress as long as you continue to have sex.That's hogwash!

With that kind of twisted logic, then as soon as you have sex, you are in a committed relationship. Wrong. The so called “friends with benefits’ may have regular sex and in no way consider themselves in a committed relationship. Many, many people prefer this...as for me, I want the solid foundation. Time is a virtue, don't rush it silly, good things come to those who wait.

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3 Keys to Having a Great Sex Life...

We all want to feel needed, and loved, and we all want to be in a great relationship right?...But what about the sex? Here's something to sink your teeth into...If you want a great sex life, there is one thing that is absolutely essential. It's not having a super-toned body or naturally curly hair. It's not owning a fancy imported car, the size of your house, or how big your flat screen is.... No, the essential element is conversation. You might ask, who needs simple chit-chat when you're making love with an attractive guy or gal? If you're just having a short fling to merely pass the time, you may be able to get away with little or no conversation. But if you want to keep your love life passionate and exciting over the long term, you're going to have to start talking. I've listed three ways to use conversation to improve and sustain your sex life. These are very helpful hints, so take notes!

Are you Communicating  with your partner about what you want?

Do you spend time talking to one another? Hey, it's not all about the sex here...communication is key to any great relationship. My grandmother used to always say, sex is the easy part, but building a solid foundation from the ground up is what keeps you together! One excellent use of conversation is to talk about what you want and to find out what your partner wants. Your lover can't read your mind any more than you can read hers (or his). Giving non-verbal communication in the bedroom is helpful, up to a point. But if that isn't getting you what you want, it's time to try putting your desires into words.Finding out what your partner wants is equally important. If you're a guy who's a little confused about how to please your lady, the answer is simple. The best way to find out what a woman wants is to ask her. Really. Many women (and quite a few men) are just dying to talk about their fantasies and desires. All they need is a sincere invitation to open up, and you can offer that, trust me on this on, men and women love the fantasy talk, especially if it involves a threesome (even if it is only his fantasy.) For most couples, that is fun role play as they aren't used to stepping outside of the "box" or their comfort zone. Hey, there is nothing wrong with some naughty fun expressing yourself. It will turn your partner on!

Turn Up the Heat with sensual talk...

No, this isn't a suggestion to discuss the latest stock report news or which famous celebrity is getting a divorce. However, a bit of naughty and explicit sex talk while you are making love can add a new dimension of excitement. Not sure how to start? Begin by describing how gorgeous your partner's body is and how aroused you are getting. Talk about what you're doing, what you're about to do, and how it's going to make your partner feel. Even if you don't normally use explicit language, this may be the time to get a bit nasty and x-rated. Relax and shed those inhibitions. 

Boost their EGO!

OK, Ego is a real big thing, and we all like to have ours boosted once in a while right? If there's one thing we all love, it's a sincere compliment. Many people are a little insecure about their sexual abilities and they secretly wonder if they are good enough in bed. Make a point of telling your partner how exciting and skillful he or she was last night. A general comment such as "You were so hot" is all right, but try also to mention something specific they did and how great it made you feel. And you don't need to make a big deal about it. Even a few whispered words just before you leave for work will keep your partner glowing with pleasure all day long.

If you're already doing some of these things, great! But if it's never occurred to you that conversation is essential for a great sex life, you may be surprised at how much of a difference just a few words can make. When you communicate about what you want, talk naughty at appropriate moments, (and listen, there is a BIG difference between 'naughty' and down right 'dirty')...so keep it clean....and praise your partner's skill and desirability, you'll find that the payoff is quite rewarding! 

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