On a Date...Who Pays The Check?

So you get asked out by a guy that you've had your eye on for a while, but he is shy and perhaps a bit reserve...what do you do at the restaurant when the bill comes? You don't want him to think that you just expect him to pay the entire bill but he should because after all, he did ask you out...it's a touch call. One of the touchiest dating issues today has to do with money: Who pays, the man or the woman, and when? Once you're knee-deep into a relationship, you'll have worked out what is best for you as a couple, but in the meantime, it's tough to know what's expected of you.

Typically, men today are put into a "damned if you do, damned if you don't." situation. Some women are insulted if men always insist on paying. It may make them feel as if they are being bought or patronized, as if they can't afford to pay their own way. On the other hand, if men don't offer to pay instantly, some women will think that they're just being cheap or ungentlemanly. It simplifies things once you realize that, when it comes to money issues, there are only three possibilities:

• You are expected to pay
• She is expected to pay
• Both parties should split the bill down the middle

I say let him pay. This is a question that bothers many women. Do you offer to pay for your own dinner or movie ticket? If you do pay, is it really a “date” in the traditional sense - or just hanging out like you do with friends? When a man invites a woman for a date, he usually plans to pay the check. If he isn’t going to pay, then he needs to make that known up front. Some women are coy and expect nothing but for the man to pay the check. Honestly, I think that can be tacky, so maybe you can find a way to discuss the bill politely?

Maybe if you decide to go on an extreme sports adventure or attend a pricey live show, then buying your own tickets can work. Even when you only carry a tiny purse for the evening, you certainly know it’s smart to bring cash and at least one credit card. After all, if the date turns sour and you’re ready to go, you don’t have to ride home with a drunk or a jerk. Tell me that you've never had this happen to you before? If it has, then you have enough money to take a cab home. I call it  'hoping for the best while being prepared for the worst.'

If all through dinner, he leaves less than subtle hints that he’s only picking up the tab because he expects you to be dessert later, then by all means summon the waiter and get separate checks. Having that credit card in your purse shows him that you aren’t falling for that old line. Personally...I'd pour hot coffee in his lap then say kiss my ass, but that's me, and that's why I am probably still single.Some men think that a good dinner out gets them laid...seriously? Honey, you'd have to feed me half of Texas to get in my britches over "dinner?" I don't think so! My thoughts are these; if a man wants to get to know you, and I mean really get to know you, he isn't going to make a sly statement like that, and if he does he certainly isn't the man for you! A date is a date, no one ever said that you were the dessert. Unless of course it's going really well and you happen to like Reddi whip cream and handcuffs?

At any rate, you won’t know that unless you find out how he handles paying the check. In the early weeks of dating, most guys go all out to impress you and show you a good time. He wants you to think he’s a guy with good taste and makes the extra effort to please you. Enjoy the evening and don't sweat the small stuff. If all goes well, he'll ask you out again!

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