For as long as I can remember, fighting with your spouse/partner/lover/etc was nothing more than a small argument that started out as nothing (like he didn't take the trash out, or she didn't wash the dishes earlier and now she used all the hot water and he just took an icy cold shower.) It happens, little things set us off and make us want to take off our gloves and box this one out to see who's right and who is so so wrong!
Ask yourself this....Do the differences between men and women contribute to the levels of fighting in relationships? They surely do. Scientists assert that men and women have different ways of dealing with arguments. Men are more left-brained and logical whilst women are more right-brained and more in touch with their emotions.
In earlier days when men went out to hunt animals, they had to switch off their emotions such as fear, in order to achieve their aim of capturing their prey. Women, on the other hand have always tended to be the nurturers and child-rearers and thus tend to have developed a richer emotional experience through their caring responsibilities. Although these differences apply less these days as many men have become more feminine and many women more masculine, there still seem to be patterns that are biologically programmed which affect the way that you act in your communication, both generally and with the opposite sex. It seems that, as the identities of the genders have merged, it has created a generation of angry men and women and much confusion about expectations and gender roles. When you read this, you may see yourself as fitting in more with the masculine patterns if you are a woman or the feminine patterns if you are a man. This is perfectly OK - in order to change your patterns you first need to become aware of what they are and how they are not serving you.If they are not serving you well, it's time to reevaluate and take charge making the necessary changes!
So, basically, one partner is unhappy because the other has said or done something which is not in accordance with their wishes. One way or another they let the other know. If communication patterns are poor, this generally doesn't go down too well. If resentment has been building up over this or other issues in either of the partners, this can cause a backlash which is far worse than the perceived original "crime". I've got an idea? Take off the gloves and fix this mess before it spins out of control!
Ask yourself this....Do the differences between men and women contribute to the levels of fighting in relationships? They surely do. Scientists assert that men and women have different ways of dealing with arguments. Men are more left-brained and logical whilst women are more right-brained and more in touch with their emotions.
In earlier days when men went out to hunt animals, they had to switch off their emotions such as fear, in order to achieve their aim of capturing their prey. Women, on the other hand have always tended to be the nurturers and child-rearers and thus tend to have developed a richer emotional experience through their caring responsibilities. Although these differences apply less these days as many men have become more feminine and many women more masculine, there still seem to be patterns that are biologically programmed which affect the way that you act in your communication, both generally and with the opposite sex. It seems that, as the identities of the genders have merged, it has created a generation of angry men and women and much confusion about expectations and gender roles. When you read this, you may see yourself as fitting in more with the masculine patterns if you are a woman or the feminine patterns if you are a man. This is perfectly OK - in order to change your patterns you first need to become aware of what they are and how they are not serving you.If they are not serving you well, it's time to reevaluate and take charge making the necessary changes!
How Relationship Fighting Starts
Let's look at how arguments and fights normally begin in relationships. Generally something is said or done which may be relatively minor. It triggers feelings in one partner of being unimportant, taken for granted, used, or giving more than they are getting back. However, this may just be a perception and may not be accurate. It is easy to forget about your partner's good points and all the things that they do for you when your anger is sparked habitually. My grandmother always used to say that communication is "KEY!" Without your relationship will not survive!So, basically, one partner is unhappy because the other has said or done something which is not in accordance with their wishes. One way or another they let the other know. If communication patterns are poor, this generally doesn't go down too well. If resentment has been building up over this or other issues in either of the partners, this can cause a backlash which is far worse than the perceived original "crime". I've got an idea? Take off the gloves and fix this mess before it spins out of control!
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