Finding Your Happy Ever After...

For the longest time most everyone I know has had their own idea about what the right person would be like, and by 'right person' I am talking their mate. We search and we search and often we come up empty handed..why?Most of us have the tendencies to see the birds-eye-view. Hey folks, it's time for a change of scenery!

The men/women that we search out appear to really have their shit together but as we dig deeper we find that they aren't what we anticipated. Are you looking for that perfect someone to share your life with? Finding that elusive ideal mate doesn't come that easily for most of us because we haven't learned the importance of being very clear in our thoughts what type of person would truly make us happy. It is nearly impossible for the universe to deliver a perfect package. 

Are we too picky? Some would say no. I say yes. Yes because you should want what you want and settle for nothing less. Lowering your standards isn’t the answer to finding love. Who wants to settle for someone less attractive, less caring, less intelligent, etc.? Some people are on an eternal quest to find a “perfect” partner, one who probably doesn’t exist outside of the storybooks. Since childhood, we’ve been taught to keep an eye out for Prince (or Princess) Charming. Grown-up movies and romantic comedies perpetuate these expectations and we’re waiting for the dashing hero/heroine who will intuitively understand our plight and rescue us from our suffering. Unless you fell off the turnip truck and conked your head, this doesn't happen...(the dashing in to save the damsel in distress part anyway...) The point I am trying to make here is that often we cannot see the true perspective in full view. You have to have the mindset of finding true love and happiness, not some mythical expectations that you'll live happily ever after. That way, if your speculations fall short, you won't feel so let down.

The truth is, until he or she arrives, most of the time we feel rather lost. Sure we all say that we enjoy the life of being single, but are you feeling the love when you go to sleep alone every night wishing that you had someone to share 'pillow talk' with? We all want love, want some lasting relationships. The  phenomenon of it all is that many people seem to believe that it is way hard to find. I beg to differ...I believe that your mate is out there and that somewhere he sits waiting patiently too for the right woman to come his way. My grandmother used to tell me that the right kind of love was like a hidden treasure. Buried deep below the surface, nonetheless transparent to that one person who could see through the particles that tend to get in the way of our somewhat clouded vision. Looks are not everything. Character, ethics, loyalty, morals, and values are all part of the equation that you should have in your list of 'wants and needs' in your partner. Ones demeanor, and expression transform into our desires. Don't skimp in the 'must have' department. When you meet the right person, things will all fall into place. 

This is love found looking in the mirror, an idealized image of yourself. An attitude like this is based upon non-acceptance of whom and what we really are. When we use another person to build up our own self-image, this kind of relationship is grounded in fear. Without this person we might feel as if we were nothing, and our lives were meaningless. Love can never be built upon a foundation that is not real. If we do not feel secure within ourselves, is it really so surprising we may not really be so eager, after all, for this perfect person to appear at our door?

Many people ask me; "What keeps us from finding the love we are so hungry for?" The most common answer to this question is that we must find the perfect person. There is always something wrong with the people we meet. We look for flaws, and imperfections.

Your particular idea of what attractive is, however, could be unrealistic. While it’s ridiculous to commit to someone you aren’t fundamentally attracted to, it’s amazing how much more attractive someone becomes when you love them. Attractiveness is a quality that can vary slightly an infinite number of times throughout the day. These variations are based partly on physical attributes but also on attitude, chemistry, personality and sense of humor.

Way too often, a first date never happens because the initial attraction isn’t there. But attraction that is fully developed on a first encounter is probably skin-deep; there isn’t much hope of ever becoming any more attracted to that person than you are right now. Mature attraction grows based on traits that may be initially less apparent. Equally important is your mindset — beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. Choosing to continually look for your partner’s beauty (rather than for his/her defects) helps renew our initial attraction.

Appeal that is defined strictly in colors or measurements limits our creative capacity for seeing beauty in others. It also limits our dating options. You may be attracted to height — and that’s fine. But do you really need your partner to tower over you? You may prefer long and lean (or curvy) physiques, but are you willing to accept the common “defects” that often accompany each body type?

 Certainly ones looks are largely predetermined by DNA. However, we are made more or less beautiful by our actions and attitudes. Likewise, we have the ability to paint our impressions of others in either more generous or less generous strokes. When you find someone with the baseline traits you are looking for,... look past superficial flaws. 

My advice, and this is strictly non-professional of course,...Decide what attributes form the essential outline of your “perfect” mate; don’t worry if a few cosmetic features stray outside those boundaries. Love is art, not science. Small “imperfections” prove authenticity and can add unique beauty and dimension to a person. No he or she may not be a beauty queen or a handsome king, but oh the qualities that they hold within are worth their weight in gold and happiness is an attribute that is far more rewarding that someone who appears to have it all together on the outside but lacks so many true qualities on the inside. 

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Dating & First Sex Etiquette

All Righty..., so you've been out on a few dates together and you're ready for a little more are you? How do you go about making that first move? How do you cross the line without seeming over anxious? You want to be a little aggressive, yet you don't want him to think that you are a naturally born pro at this either...

This write up will explore that important, terrifying step you are about to take, and will explain how to do it with without so many difficulties.

Hey fellas.... I do not want to burst your bubble here but unless you're James Bond (and you're not!) she probably isn't going to excuse herself and "slip into something more comfortable"...Oh, and if she does, this isn't good... it's probably going to be some flannel pajamas, slippers, and a bathrobe - a sign that she's ready for you to leave!

Women expect that you know when to make your move. Further, they expect you to be sophisticated and smooth about it. Clumsy, boyish behavior doesn't fit with her image of being "swept off her feet", and you don't really want this critical step to end in laughter! So what the hell are the rules?

The Rules

First, let's explore the rules for The First Move:

1) Women control the speed of the relationship - and the sex - not men.
2) Women know if they'll sleep with you within 5 minutes of meeting you.
3) Even if a woman does go out with you, she won't tell you if she plans to sleep with you or not!
4) Women will usually NOT make the first move.
5) If you don't make the right move at the right time, the women will usually think you're weak, an oaf, gay, or just not interested.
6) Women and men view sex differently - women use sex to bond and create intimacy, men use sex to decide if they want to get more intimate.

How to Make That "First Move" (for Men):

Because of the rules stated above, you have to be somewhat careful of when and where to make your move. You want this to appear spontaneous, and, with the right preparation - you can! These seem to go against each other - prepare to be spontaneous? Yes!! Always remember the 6 "P's": 

"Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance!"

Give some thought to your moves before using them. This will help to make them appear more comfortable and therefore spontaneous. So, with that introduction, here are the steps:

1) Be sure you're ready - once you begin, you can't go back!
Just like that move when you were in High School where you stretch and your arm "just happens" to wind up around your date's shoulder, you want everything to be organized. For example, do you have a condom with you? You don't? What the hell are you thinking - forget it until you do! Remember: "No glove - NO LOVE!"

2) Be reasonably sure she's ready.
How do you know she's ready? You can't really be 100 percent sure, but you can get pretty close if you just pay attention. First, is she using the right body language? For example, is she:

Touching you both accidentally and on purpose?
Sitting or leaning against you?
Looking right into your eyes, examining your face - especially your mouth?
Leaning toward you as you speak?
Using an "open posture" - arms uncrossed; legs open, or if crossed, not excluding you?
Playing with her hair, exposing her palms and wrists to you?
No No- has she just told you she has an early-morning meeting, or has relatives staying at her place? She is probably telling you that this isn't the right time. In short, be open to clues guys!

3) Make sure you're in the right place.
Once you get things started, you don't want to have to stop and drive somewhere else. Why not get there and then make your move? You'll keep things from cooling off - and possibly a change of heart. Also, make sure that you're in a private setting - even if you're in the back seat of your car. Nothing spoils the mood like someone watching....unless of course that is your cup of tea and if so, knock yourself out.

4) Plan plenty of time
Having an appointment in 30 minutes isn't going to create a romantic atmosphere. Be sure you have enough time to really spend getting you both ready.

5) Have a proper "build-up"
You don't want to show up at her door, walk in and start putting on the moves. No No No! Plan a simple, but romantic date. Don't go to the movies or the theatre - you need time to talk and establish a connection.

6) Ready? Ok, let's go
So, what's the first thing you should do? First, build your confidence up. Have roses, chocolates, and soft music...(wait, that might be a bit too much) how about just the roses and music? This will show her that you care and that you put some time and effort into this get together. Wait for a comfortable break in the conversation. Then, take her hands in yours, draw her close to you and gently kiss her on the lips. Don't shove your tongue down her throat, and don't kiss her like she's your grandmother. Make it linger just a little too long, and give her a chance to respond. You might also want to offer a back or foot massage - these are almost impossible to resist!

7) When she's ready to move, she'll usually let you know
But, what if she doesn't? Some women let you take charge when they're ready. You can start by kissing her neck and gently nibbling on her lower lip. Brush your nose gently around hers. Explore her neck and face with yours. Run your hands around her back, then slowly to her ass. Note her reactions.

8) Don't go for the "goodies" until you've spent some time earning them!
If you're in a hurry to get into her britches and get her out of her clothes, shame on you! She'll assume that you're just as fast at everything else. Let things build on their own - at their own pace. Let them move along slowly, don't force them - or get in the way of them either!

How to Make That "First Move" (for Women):

Frankly, this is a lot easier for women. You probably already know what to do, but if you aren't quite sure, here are a few pointers;

1) Make sure you're ready.
If you're trying to seduce him just because you're afraid of losing him, you're not in the best place and should reconsider. Also, you should carry condoms on you. Remember - you both are responsible for preventing the spread of disease and unwanted children!

2) Don't worry about him - he's ready!

3) Ask him to go some place more private - like your place
You don't really need to go into anything more than this - the invitation is all that's necessary. If he can't figure out what you are implying, he probably is not the man for you.

4) Show him that you are READY!
If you're not comfortable just telling him (few women are!), let him know in other ways. Use open body language, get close to him and use physical contact, lay your head on this chest, use eye contact, talk "sex", etc. Yes...I say this all the time. BODY LANGUAGE is the universal language of love or lust...use it! 

5) Important... give the conversation a break!
This is the most often missed aspect of the first move. You don't need to do all the yapping...let him talk to or you won't know what it is that he is after, or assuming. If he is politely listening to you and you go on and on without a break - where's he supposed to jump in? If you're nervous, this is especially difficult. Just try to be aware of your conversation and allow some room for him to get a word in edge wise.

6) Perhaps you should making the first move?
You absolutely can put your hands on either side of his face and kiss him. In fact, some men actually wait for this because they don't know when to make a move themselves. You can even tell him that you're ready.

7) Feeling bold are you?
I've had many women tell me that they were ready by standing up and stripping for me, or take off their blouse and turn to walk into the bedroom. I mean, how obvious do you need to get? If this doesn't work for him, you've got the wrong guy!

8) Help him along...that's right, give him a nudge!
As the Beatles used to sing "We get by with a little help from our friends." This is a strange thing to say, but many women don't understand that their men might not know what to do - or at least what you like....so be their friend and help them figure it out? If you don't tell him (or subtly show him), how's he going to know? Believe me, men don't read minds! They need a little help.

First-Sex Etiquette

Many people don't know what to do after the first sexual experience with a new partner. At least the first time, don't plan to spend the night. Why not? If you do, you'll probably need your regular things for the morning - toothbrush, deodorant, etc. If you whip out the over-night kit, all of your work making this a spontaneous event will be lost, and he'll think you are a woman who does this sort of thing often, which can be an instant turn off.

Also, what ever you do...don't just jump up grab your clothes and bolt! Spend some time cuddling or at least telling stories and having a laugh. This doesn't have to be deep and intimate - just spend some time saying that you enjoyed each other. You might grab a bite to eat together, or watch the end of an old movie. Men - if you want an encore performance, this step is critical!

Finally, have fun! This isn't the end ....Oh no, not by a long shot, this is only the beginning!

Mr Right...Is He a Rare Commodity?

Sure everyone wants to meet Mr Right, BUT that won't happen until you follow a few steps, and take a good look at the big picture. Life and dating in general is not at all easy, not like it was 30 years ago. Things change, people change, and attitudes have become far worse. Men have super big egos, and they  think that they are a rare commodity, but they aren't. He’s skeptical about marriage and wants to prolong settling down-of course he does. What do I think? He's afraid of commitment. I think men are less likely to be patient and persistent with a woman and more likely to find a deal breaker early and quickly move on to the next.Today, men think that traditional dating and courting is a waste of time.  Much like in the real world, relationships take time and can be undone in a few wrongly calculated moves.

 So you want to find someone that will give you that special feeling? With that being said ladies, here is how to get on the right track to find your Mr Right; It all starts with YOU!

  1. Get a life. That's right, you heard me....GET A LIFE! The most important thing is to be Ms. Right yourself. Finding the right man is not going to change you into a better person than you already are. If you are lazy and self-centered, finding a generous hard working fellow is not going to transform you. If you are boring and a one-dimensional person, finding an intellectually challenging man is not going to change who you are. Learn how to be interesting, kind, caring, and unselfish. Model yourself after women you admire. Work hard at changing your character defects. Become more well rounded. Complete your education. Get yourself a hobby. Volunteer and expose yourself to people who are less-fortunate than you are. Learn some humility by volunteering to serve others. So many people need our help! Find a charity or organization and lend a hand. My personal favorite; find a women's shelter in your area and call them and ask if you can donate women's business attire from your closet that you no longer wear. They need your help! A lot of us should do this next one; Take a listening class. We talk, talk talk, but do we really listen? That is imperative in a relationship as is communicating in general. Get some counseling if you need to learn to be assertive or how to share your feelings. If you have some childhood traumas deal with them now, with someone who can give you professional help. Learn to be happy with yourself, first. No man, no matter how right is going to make you happy. You will only be happy in your new relationship if you are happy inside first.

 2. Evaluate your physical attractiveness. Not everyone is Ms. America. Nobody looks like the models in magazines. We aren't airbrushed to perfection. But we each do have something going for us though. Find out what your best feature is and accentuate it. Wear clothes that flatter your figure. Do not try to be a size 6 if you are really a size 12. Accept yourself for who you are, but don’t use that as an excuse to let yourself go either. Some men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, but no one wants a slob. Big can be beautiful if you manage things correctly. If you are overweight, consult your doctor and find out what is healthy for a woman your size. Rather than living up to some super-model or stereotype of femininity you should aim to be all you can.

3 . Look in places where you would expect to find someone with the qualities you value. Is he someone that you would consider bringing home to meet the family? If not, you may want to re-think your moves and choices. If you want someone who cares, look at the local soup kitchen and see who is volunteering on Saturday afternoons. If you want someone who is good with kids, look for a coach or a teacher or a mentor. If you want a generous guy, ask yourself: Who in your crowd has a generous spirit? Who shares his Pepsi with you without your asking? Who gives you the seat on the bus? Who goes out of his way for his grandmother or aunt? Who sacrifices his day off to work for Habitat for Humanity? Who works Sundays at the homeless shelter? Who volunteers at the Children’s Hospital as a clown? Who shares freely about himself and his needs, ideas, hopes and dreams? Who doesn’t care if his generosity is noticed or even appreciated? This is the type of man to look for.

  4. Please do remember that we are all human beings, so don't go looking for someone perfect. You'll be looking for a very long time! What do I mean by this? Don't set the bar so high...No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the guy a break. You already know that you are not Ms. Perfect, and honey, if you think you are...we have even bigger problems here. Listen, he will make mistakes just as you do, so go with the flow. Relax a little and don’t be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond physical attractiveness. You don’t want a slob any more than he does, but he doesn’t have to be Mr. Hunk either.

5. Be patient silly girl! Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what appeals to you and why. You may make a few friends, and even break a heart or two. You may get hurt. Keep at it. There are good men out there. You simply need to know where to look!

 Many men want the grand prize, the bulls-eye, but guess what...there is no such thing. Sometimes what you see is not what you get! There is a man out there for you. Give it time, and don't push it. Sit back and wait....it will happen when it is supposed to!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Where do Men find Love?

So, you’re on the prowl for a nice, fun loving, cute woman to date? Are you ready for love and if so,...Where are you going to find her? Have you any clues where to look for a truly unique woman? My guess would be no. When it comes to finding women to date, you have to be a bit creative and look for opportunities wherever they might arise. Sometimes guys get lucky and are introduced to nice women that could be potentials indeed through friends or business associates.When this happens it has a better chance of working because someone actually knows this person that you are interested in and they can give you the 4-1-1. This is your chance to get the 'inside scoop' on what she's all about! 

Even though you might end up not liking the woman, people who know you have a pretty good idea of your personality and who might be a good fit, so if someone tries to play Cupid and fix you up with someone they know, at least give it a shot. The worst that could happen is that you won’t like each other and you'll want to kill your friend. I've done this before and been mad as heck at my friends. Hey. they are trying to play connect the dots for you, only my advice again, not professional is don't meddle in their business. Some say no harm done...I say 'then you try it and see how you like it?' I have had friends set me up with three blind dates in my life and by the end of the date, if that's what you wanted to call it I had fire coming out of my ears and was upset. I'll find love at my own pace thank you...when the right guy is supposed to enter into my life, he will, and only then it will be a great day for me!

 On the flip side, and the best cast scenario,...you could meet someone who you really do enjoy being around.

Don’t forget the opportunities that sound more like a sitcom side-story, like meeting a woman at the coffee house while waiting for your morning brew, or at the Laundromat, the grocery store, the gym or in line at the bank.The places to meet the right person are endless. I truly believe that our paths cross at the right times when we are to meet one another. It's pretty simple actually. 

If you see someone you think is attractive, just smile and say, “hi there!” Who cares if you’re dripping with sweat from your workout or wearing your best business suit? In sneakers or in stilettos. If a woman strikes up a conversation with you, don’t shy away – talk to her. It could turn into something, and if it doesn’t, you got yourself a little practice didn't you?

Depending on the type of work you do for a living, you may have many opportunities to meet women through your job. Some companies frown on dating among their employees, but some might tell you that there’s no harm in flirting a little, and if you’re not risking your job, you may find that there are plenty of single women at work. OK, time to slam on the brakes here for a second...I strongly disagree with that...don't cross that line! Once you do, they want more, and if things don't work out, as I said in an earlier blog, you are stuck day in and day out running into this person. Not fun at all, trust me!

What does a man really need to look for in a woman? A pretty smile and beautiful eyes are the two things that if men aren't looking at they sure should be! You can tell a lot about a woman from her eyes and her smile. My grandmother used to say that when there is romance in the air between two people that you can speak an entire conversation without ever having to open your mouth. Body language and the eyes give it away! That's one of the first things that I look for in a man, his eyes, then the smile...and his teeth. 1) he must still have most of them, and 2) they have to be pretty and white. I don't have a lot of issues but smile and eyes, good teeth are crucial here. Them comes the personality and sense of humor. Combined all of these will leave you wishing that you didn't have to leave her at the end of a date, BUT it will hopefully keep you enticed enough to come back for much more! When it is time for Mr Right to meet Ms Right, the sparks will fly!

www,simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Guys..Don't Look For Love in the CLUB

Night after night men go looking for women in ALL THE WRONG PLACES...why? Quick lay, short-term, don't want a commitment? There are a variety of pro's and con's to meeting a woman in a bar or club. A lot of men like to go to bars and clubs to loosen up, show off, and meet single women. So it’s an obvious choice if you’re a guy looking for a girlfriend. However, the obvious choice may not be the best choice, and in the long run it can turn out to be a disaster!

I asked a 'guy friend' how do you do it..how to you decide who you want to meet at a bar/club? He said; "We scan you before you even see us and the logic that drives the male brain will always do the math. Some are just better than others at it. So if you feel that the girls that dress up and have no substance, think twice...I want the girl who dresses comfortably over provocatively, reserved over liberally, confident over attention-starved. Out of all the women that dress like that, I have a better rate of success with these ladies than the flashy, makeup intensive, fashion overloaded ones. I’ve done the math, and it’s sound. Trust me, I’m a genius he said." And there you have it...from a males point of view.
Then I asked him another question,...one he actually had to ponder; why all the trouble and is it worth it? He said; "Why would I put myself in that position? I don’t go headhunting for “chicks” when I go out. If I decide to talk to a woman while out in a public setting, I understand that by doing so, I am crossing out several other women from contention. It would make sense to me to find the ones that I think mesh better with my character and vice-versa rather than just one that “looks good“.

Here are the pros and cons of meeting (or trying to meet) women at bars and clubs:
Pros: There are lots of people and it’s an exciting, fun atmosphere. It’s easy to buy a woman a drink, and it’s easier to get up close to a woman without knowing her first. You might be able to meet a lot of women in a short period of time, and they will probably assume that you don’t want an exclusive relationship.

Cons: Bars and clubs are noisy, so it’s more difficult to hear anything a woman says to you. Alcohol might cloud your judgment and cause you to do something stupid that leaves a bad first impression.There are often many more men than women, so the competition to meet single women can be fierce. They aren’t usually a woman’s first choice as a place to meet men, so she may not be very approachable.

The women you’ll meet: Most likely, you’ll meet very outgoing, friendly and extroverted women who love the noise and the party atmosphere. You might also come across some women desperate for a man in their lives, who are willing to go to wherever the men are to improve their chances of getting one. And it’s pretty likely you’ll also find some women whose lives are a mess. They can’t stand going home and facing it, so instead they’re out having a good time.The relationship you can expect: Casual and short. Most women at bars and clubs don’t want a long-term or even mid-term relationship. There’s not much opportunity to talk and get to know each other, so you don’t have much of a basis to really get attached to each other, either. For fun, you’re probably going to more bars and clubs.

What to avoid: Desperate, careless, and/or bitter women. Biggest RED FLAG there is fellas...RUN! The desperate women will approach you first and try to hang onto you longer than you’re willing to deal with. The careless women might have addictions, neglected children at home, or a bad financial situation that you could unknowingly get tangled up in. And the bitter women are still complaining about the last men who left them single, and they’ll complain about you, too.

Bottom line: Don’t go to a bar or a club only in order to meet women. If you like clubs, such as to go dancing, or just getting out for fun, sure that’s different - but if you don’t, don’t bother.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Sexual Chemistry and Dating

Man meets woman and the chemistry is explosive. Sound familiar? You know the routine....their eyes lock, their heartbeats race, everyone else in the room just melts away. But far from being some weird, mystical force, sexual attraction is actually quite prosaic.It's the product of millions of years of evolution all focused on one idea: successfully passing your genes on to the next generation. And the whole dating scene is really just people assessing the reproductive potential of prospective mates. Women want men with good genes to pass on to their babies and a caring mate who will protect and feed the family.

1) Flaunt your fragrance...don't over do it!
Our noses are subtly attuned to the smells of potential mates, and our natural body odours carry powerful messages of attraction. So don't be afraid of your own fragrance. All the same, don't throw out the deodorant and run off to the gym to intensify your natural funk, either: weak odours are more attractive than strong ones, and many odour molecules only have a very brief lifespan before they oxidise and become decidedly unattractive.

Although women are many times more sensitive, both sexes are attuned to the aromas of love.

2) Fitness...try to maximize it
Both women and men are genetically hardwired to look for physically attractive partners. Why? Physical cues are an instant and relatively accurate method of assessing the quality of a potential partner's genes, health and reproductive status. Some aspects of attraction are universal, so if you've got the goods, flaunt them, and if you don't, work on disguising the fact. It's a well-known phenomenon that, for any of us, symmetry equals beauty, especially when it comes to faces. So gents, keep those sideburns trimmed with a setsquare and spirit level if necessary.Men are on the prowl for good reproductive potential. This means that for the ladies, the appearance of youth and a clear complexion are good indicators of fertility, and so are healthy curves. A modest waist-to-hip ratio - specifically, a waist about 70 per cent the width of a woman's hips - is a predictor of youth and good health. Find a treadmill and and use it. Dance to a video, or take a bike ride. Tone muscles and good health contribute to how your body reacts to health and immunities. Take vitamins also, we are getting older and we need all the help our bodies can get to keep our youthful ways.

3) Tune in to natural rhythms
In agreement with conventional wisdom, researchers have found that men are pretty much attracted to the same things all the time. However, the lads need to understand that what turns a woman on can vary significantly, depending at what stage she is in her menstrual cycle. Women ovulate only once a month, so their bodies are tuned to be most receptive to the signs of potential mates - sexy faces, shapely bodies and alluring odours - at the time when they're most likely to fall pregnant.At this time, women tend to take more care with their appearance.

4) Socially lubricate
Science backs up the common perception that alcohol does tend to make things happen that otherwise might not. And this applies for both sexes. Did you know that alcohol disrupts frontal lobe functioning, which is the seat of inhibitions. But be wary of flirting when drunk, as your judgement could be slightly off kilter. I'd tend to say that the 'beer goggles' effect, in which people in a pub or bar seem to get more attractive as time wears on, is well documented.' Studies on this particular group have found definitively that alcohol increases the chances of engaging in casual sex, and of having sex outside a long-term relationship. So although becoming inebriated is a scientifically proven method of improving your chances of coupling, it comes with its own considerable pitfalls.

5) Bring on the laughs
Cracking a carefully timed and well-mannered joke is a great way to show off your intelligence and social skills. Both sexes are attracted to humour in potential partners, but in opposite ways. Research shows that women tend to appreciate men with a high-quality sense of humour, while men are more concerned with finding a partner who laughs at their jokes.One theory advances the idea that humour gives clues to the quality of an individuals genes by hinting at the number of genetic mutations a person is carrying. The theory proposes that people with fewer mutations have better genes and produce higher-quality humour.

6) Talk with your body
Guys, you can say a lot to a girl from across the room without even talking to - or looking at - her. Research indicates women look for traits in men that indicate that they can provide well for them. This includes high social status, intelligence and conspicuous wealth. And there are a number of ways of demonstrating these attributes without saying a word. Body language is a great way to communicate. It's sexy and sensual, try it if you don't already.

7) Get dolled up!
It might seem superficial, but it's effective. Being well groomed and looking presentable can radically alter how people respond to you, especially if you're a woman. Recent studies that examine the effects of cosmetics use on social perceptions of women routinely find that observers of both sexes find the same woman looks healthier and more confident when seen wearing make-up than without. Eye make-up and foundation seem to be the most effective in improving observers' attractiveness ratings. The scientific reasons for the effectiveness of cosmetics are unconfirmed, but the likelihood is that they allow women to even out skin tone, cover up blemishes and sculpt more symmetrical faces. Personally, I find it more natural and inviting for a man to desire a woman who is dressed simple and wears very little make up. Next time you decide to find a new mate and wonder what to look for, sit down and do the math.....

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