What Do You Do When You Experience Poor Customer Service?

When was the last time that you experienced horrific customer experience at a well known company? What do you do when they treat you as if you were the one in the wrong when all you were trying to do was explain what happened and why your were so dissatisfied? Many companies found out too late that customer service is the life blood of any organization. Today's consumers depend on superior customer service otherwise they will drop your organization like a hot potato. Without world class service you will find your customers making their way to your competitors to get their needs met.
Bad customer service creates unhappy customers with big mouths that like to talk.

 Every time a customer is treated poorly by the customer service department they will not hesitate to tell five or six friends or family members. Many organizations have had to close its doors because they did not understand the importance of treating customers fairly. Your market share will erode year after year if someone doesn't put an end to the harsh treatment customers receive. I own two businesses and I follow strict guidelines as to what to do for unhappy customers show a situation arise. On the side, I also work part time for a national company that follows such guidelines and will also go to great lengths not only to protect it's name rather to make the customer happy so that they continue to keep coming back time and time again. You see, that's what good businesses with morals and ethics do. They do what it takes to look out for YOU, the customer.

Obviously it's important for companies to have a customer service training program. This helps the customer service department keep up to speed with the best way to resolve customer issues. Sometimes a best demonstrated practice can be put into place, regarding a particular problem.
Good customer service starts with the greeting. Service representatives should always smile even when they are on the phone.

Believe it or not a smile is projected throughout your entire interaction with a customer. A customer can tell if an employee wants to talk with them and help resolve their problem. They can also tell if they are being rushed off the phone so that the representative can take the next phone call. Where though does the chain of command start? Who makes the rules and what lengths do they go to so that they can ensure a customer that this was a 'fluke' incident and that they stand behind you? What happens when no one stands up for you and you are left high and dry with merchandise that you cannot use?

My experience was this afternoon when I attempted to go to my local Walmart and return an HP Inkjet that was purchased. You see, a few weeks ago I grabbed one from the wrong rack and thought I was taking something else. No biggie right? Wrong. After today, I will NEVER walk through the door of Walmart again. The experience that I endured with the manager on site and the customer service associate was enough to make me want to vomit. I purchase a box of inkjets for my printer. I was in a hurry and grabbed the wrong box. Working long hours I did not have the time to get back to the store until today almost 10 days later. When I went back and asked to please exchange the jets, the woman ripped the box open and told me that she can't take a damaged box that was open as a return? What? It was not opened. It was sealed when I bought it. Not only was I totally screwed rather now I am out the money.

 Sure I can write to HP and ask them what to do, but why isn't Walmart going to take responsibility for this? In case most of you don't know, unlike shopping at a Staples, where there merchandise is in a locked case, Walmart has theirs out in the open where anyone can tamper with it and put damaged merchandise back. Hey, it happens all the time. People are sneaky and tricky. What I also learned was that my box had been tampered with. You see, my cartridge packages were cut open. I wouldn't have ever known this because the box I purchased was sealed shut tighter than a drum. They tried to tell me that the cartridges were empty.

Angry as I was, I took the cartridges to Walgreen's and asked them if they were in fact empty, and they were not. They were full cartridges that were open and I was stuck with them at this point. What happened to this product is unknown to me, but because of my mistake, I am stuck with something now that I don't need. To be honest, it's not the product that bothers me so much as the poor customer service experience and the bad taste that was left in my mouth. Not only did I just write to the corporate office and demand a call back to rectify this lack of judgement on their behalf, now I want to be reimbursed for an hour of my time and gas that it took me to go to the Walmart store, get turned away with a bad attitude by their staff and for the time it took me to look up their corporate office email, write them and vent. I don't know about you all but my time is valuable, and yours should be just the same. Had they treated me with respect as they should have this could have all been avoided.
What can you do if you run into difficult times over merchandise and bad experiences?

Ask to speak to a supervisor or manager if necessary. A manager or supervisor will usually have more options available to effectively fix your problem.

Offer your suggestions. If you have ways in mind to correct the problem or improve customer service, let the supervisor know. You may be able to offer a solution that the manager didn't think about.

Accept that you may have to compromise. In some cases, the solution that you are seeking may be impossible.

Write a letter to the company or business owner. Make sure that you include your initial problem, the names of everyone you spoke with, your specific customer service complaints, your proposed solution and your contact information.

Find a new business to frequent. If you find that you are unable to get your situation resolved in a mutually agreeable way, taking your business elsewhere will make a powerful statement to say the least. This is especially true if you are dealing with a small business.

Don't give up. There is an answer, and if you look hard enough, someone will help you.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Dieting...It Makes Me Crazy!

I simply hear the word  "diet"and I cringe. Dieting can be a difficult thing, especially when you're trying to make drastic changes to your normal routine. My grandmother used to say; "You didn't put the weight on over night, so don't expect it to come off over night either!" Sooo true! Exercise and a balanced diet aid in weight loss. Sure we all want to look good, but looking good does come with a price...We have to be strict with what we eat, drink and we have to keep at a routine for knocking the pounds off and shedding those unwanted inches. For most women, at least those that I know, we go crazy over trying to count calories, eat right and exercise. That in itself is like a full time job. Does dieting make you crazy too? How do we take weight off and keep if off?

 If you'd like to lose some weight and you don't want to see it creeping back month after month, the real secret is to do it with small changes that you incorporate into your lifestyle one at a time. You will find the greatest success if you choose lifestyle changes that you can live with in the long term. There is NO quick fix for weight loss. There is not miracle pill to take to lose cellulite either...if there were, I'd look like a perfect 10. So what does a gal do? For instance, if you love carbohydrates, it's not likely that you'll stay on a low-carb diet for long. In this situation, modifying your carbohydrate intake to an amount you find reasonable may work just fine for you. 

These tips will help you eat nutritiously without feeling like you're dieting:

1. Cut portion sizes. Cutting your portion size, instead of altering what you eat, is always an option. It's easy to forget what a healthy portion actually is, which may lead many people to eat more than they intended. Try eating a bit less and use smaller plates to make it seem like your plate is still full. You'll still feel satisfied while eating less!

2. Eat slowly. You don't want to eat your meals at a snail's pace, but it does take some time for your body to send signals to your brain that your stomach is full. If you're eating slowly, you'll get that message in time before you overeat.

3. Eat more often. Experiment with dividing your meals into smaller sizes and eating more often. Eating smaller meals more often can keep you feeling full and energized and you may end up eating less. 

4. Drink plenty of water. You already know that water is vital to life. Water will also help you feel full. Drinking a glass of water prior to eating a meal helps you feel full sooner.

5. Be mindful when eating at restaurants. Sometimes you'll find that you have healthy eating habits at home, but it might all go out the window when you're eating out...mine do! Restaurants are notorious for adding in extra salt, butter, and utterly ridiculous portion sizes. Either choose something that you know is healthy based on the nutritional facts, or split up your meal and take half of it home for tomorrow's lunch.

6. The calories you drink add up. When you're calculating the calories you've eaten for the day, it's easy to ignore all the calories in your drinks. If you've had mostly water, then it won't be an issue. However, if you've stopped at Starbucks, or had fruit juice or a soft drink, you might find that you've had a whole meal's worth of calories in just one drink.

7. Maintain moderate exercise. Exercise is important to your overall health and well-being. If it's hard to add time for an exercise routine to your schedule, remember that every bit of activity helps. Walking around the block, parking further out in the parking lot and taking the stairs instead of the elevator can give you some great exercise without taking up too much extra time.

Being healthy doesn't need to take a huge effort on your part. You can get there by being aware of your body's unique needs. Listen to your body and treat yourself right, and your weight goals are sure to follow.

www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com 

Be Kind...Pass It On

Have you ever heard the saying that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"? It's not enough to want to do good, and to try to do good...you really must also think about whether your actions actually had good result or not? Being a good person and doing good deeds comes easy to so many people, and for others,...not so much. Statistics in the past have shown how students, entertainers, athletes, philanthropists and regular people do good every day! Why? It's how they were raised and it's what they know. My parents instilled in myself and my siblings from the time we were young to be kind to others, even strangers. We went by the old rules, treat others the way you'd like to be treated. We do this because it is the right thing to do, and it makes you feel good when you do a good deed...we do it because we want to, not because we have to. 

Don't try to be a good person because your parents told you to,..trust me, you're not doing anyone any favors here...Do it for you, because you want recognition or respect, or for any kind of reward except your own satisfaction in doing what you believe is good. Never act superior to anyone else or brag about your "goodness" or "righteousness". What does this mean? Allow me to repeat myself...Be good for a reason, not just because it makes you look good.

What does doing a good deed mean to you? It's not about expecting something in return. If that's what you think this article is about STOP reading right now and go take a look in the mirror because you have some issues. Ultimately, you have to decide on your own code of ethics, and what matters is that you follow through with what you believe makes you a good person. At times, this may conflict with what others believe is good, and they might even accuse you of being quite evil. Consider their views. Either they know something you don't, in which case you may learn something from them and update your morality, or perhaps their experience is limited, meaning that you should take their views with a grain of salt. You're smart, so you can make your own decision.

Give people the benefit of the doubt! To the extent that it doesn't jeopardize your safety (like getting in the car with a group of people you just met), assume each person you meet is a good person, and act likewise. If you see someone do something that you think bad, consider what they are dealing with in the context of their own life-don't jump to conclusions.

  Instead of focusing on the bad things happening around you, find reasons to dwell on the good. You know that old saying...turn the bad into something good. Notice small kindnesses that you find yourself or other people doing, and constantly remind yourself of the things for which you're grateful. Feeling like you are surrounded by good acts and nice people will inspire you to do more good yourself.

Try to be more proactive! By doing so, you are avoiding any form of bad behavior, you've made a big step towards becoming a good person, but you've only just begun. In order to be good, you actually have to do good things rather than just avoid doing bad things.

 What should you get from this? Learn from it! Constantly improve your understanding of what goodness means and demonstrate it to others whether it be your spouse, partner, lover, your children, friends, coworkers, or total strangers. Observe subtle or complex situations and consider just how you would act in such a position. You can also learn from your own mistakes, from others, and from history...we can always make improvements in our lives. What are you waiting for...Hop to it!

How Loyal is the Company YOU Work For?

Back in the day, I was raised where deals were made with a simple hand shake. My grandparents never signed a gazillion documents to finalize a deal whether that be a mortgage, or for employment. They shook hands and that was that. As I got older, I watched my mother and my father work their asses off for the same company for anywhere from 25-45 years. That's right 25-45 years....why? They were loyal to their jobs and when you had a good job (and it wasn't even a matter of is it was a 'good' job per say, but a job, you did not quit) you gave that company your loyalty because they hired you and gave you a paycheck and good benefits.

What happened to my parents? New ownerships took place in their companies, young blood came in, more less the owners kids and grand kids who didn't know the first thing about running a company rolled into town with high expectations and demands. All they saw were dollar signs and visions of how to pad their Armani pockets. They didn't know the old fashion morals and ethics my parents were raised to have, but they did everything possible to cut spending and give themselves a much larger unearned bonus.

 What about the average Joe that worked for years and years? Did he deserve to get let go 3 years before he retired from a company that he was so loyal to? As sad as it is , Corporate America no longer cares about the little guy. My parents saved for a lift time to retire at 62 and travel the world. What did they get?...a kick in the ass and a severance check to boot. They lost part of their 401K, pensions and they were tossed aside for a new younger version of them for whom the company could pay a lot less money and give practically no benefits to because it was cutting costs with that particular company. Have you ever wondered what is company loyalty? Do you wonder why this country has gone to hell in a handbag over the last 20+ years. Look around you people...the writing is on the walls. My question to you is quite simple,...does your your employer give you his/ear/their  all? Do you get 100% loyalty and then some...is your employer in return loyal to you as well ? If you say yes, please tell me what la-la land you live in?Very few companies that I know of really care about the little guy. It's all about getting richer in the corporate world and moving up the executive ladder.

Companies used to make promise after promise to their employees...now many companies cannot or will not hold up their end of the bargain, so why should the employees hold up theirs? To all of these companies that terminated terrific employees like my parents or force those into early retirement like my parents I say this; you get what you deserve and you just shot yourself in the foot! Oh do I believe in karma. Before any of you damn this generation of workers, consider this possibility... Maybe, just maybe, do you think that the employers killed company loyalty? That’s right, employers killed loyalty. The hard working American gave their all and what did they get? A pink slip!  How could this happen? Things just are NOT the way they were and we are in economical hardship because a bunch of yuppies jumped in to take over grand-daddies business with their own expectations and never considered YOURS!

For some baby boomers, this shift has been hard to accept. Many started their careers assuming that they would be rewarded based on long tenure. Now they are seeing that structure crumbling around them — witness recent layoffs. Don’t their experience, wisdom and institutional memory count for anything? Nothing speaks more clearly about your values and principles than your choice of associates and of those promoted to positions of prominence and authority.
 

Loyalty is dead and study after study seems to confirm this. Today’s employees will have an average of nine different jobs in their career—nine different jobs! That’s a real change from that older generation of workers who joined the company and stayed long enough to get their pension and their gold watch. Those were the “good ole days.” What happened? Who killed company loyalty? I don't care if you are 90 years old and still the CEO of a company or 25. Run it with respect, and in return you'll get respect back.

Loyalty can be earned only when leaders put the welfare of their customers and partners ahead of their own self-serving interests. If it is really about self-sacrifice - that is, about putting principles and relationships ahead of immediate personal financial gain - what relevance can it possibly hold for business, which is in large part driven by self-interest? There is indeed a high road in business, and it is the only road to lasting success.We need to seriously make some changes. You need to protect yourself. My grandmother used to always say "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Were handshakes really all that bad? Integrity and loyalty meant something then and when someone made you a promise, by God, they kept it. She told me to never put all of your eggs in one basket because no job is ever secure, and to always accept any training that a company will give you for it is something that you can use as a tool to enhance your resume. It's your call here...so I'll leave you with this...is your employer 100% loyal to you? Do they pay you what you are truly worth, do they truly respect you or are you their doormat? If you feel that you are not getting paid what you're net value genuinely is, it's time to get that resume off your hard drive and update it.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

 

Do You Know How to Earn a Woman's Trust?

 Trust of a woman is not the easiest thing to earn, so should you even try? Of course you should or every man alive would be single! What if you need to know how to not only seduce a woman but to win her trust as well? Pay close attention here, because I'm only going to say this once. The most successful relationships have a strong foundation of trust. When attracted to a woman, your natural instinct may be to rush into the relationship. However, most women open up slowly and you should only ask her to trust you insofar as you have proved yourself trustworthy. Although there is no immediate, sure fire way to win the trust of your special lady, there are behaviors and character traits you can cultivate to put you on the right path. Extend trust to her. If you show that you trust her, she will trust you. You can do this by revealing more of yourself or relying on her to fulfill promises she makes. Don't expect her to give you more trust than you have given her.Refrain from lying. Lying kills trust faster than almost anything else.

Hey fellas, this is vital to the concept of gaining a woman’s trust as it inspires confidence in ones self and in her, even if you do not necessarily have a great posture. Eyes convey emotion and just by the simple act of making eye contact with her, you show her that you are a man capable of gaining a personal connection with her as well as an emotional one. When you are hoping to attract and seduce a woman, you will need to know how to win her trust. Women are taught to be cautious of men throughout their lives. Children are told by their parents and teachers to be careful of strange men and for girls this continues after they are grown up. Be genuine. Do not pretend to be someone you are not just to pique her interest. She'll she through you and your schemes and it will only piss her off. Then she'll immediately peg you as someone who cannot be trusted. To build the relationship, find common ground with her.

 So when you want to attract a woman, you need to earn her trust. Do you understand what that means? For those of you that don't, this means treating her in a way that shows you will not hurt her. This is not just a question of hurting her physically, although this is certainly a factor. However, she also wants to know that you will not hurt her and treat her badly emotionally. If you say you are going to do something you'd better damn straight do it. You generally only get three strikes from a woman (If your lucky) and then your out and the next fella will move in on your turf and try to get the girl. Chances are he'll get her because you didn't play your cards right and you deserve to lose her.

 A man who is impatient and tries to bully women or coerce them into agreeing to a date is not likely to be successful with women. There may be a few who will accept this kind of treatment but most will run away. I recommend running away! If you push a woman too hard for her phone number, for example, she will become afraid and will give you a false one....is that what you want? A great way to win a woman's trust is to establish a connection. In fact, this works for all relationships and you are probably aware of it. Make your intentions clear from the get-go. Attraction by itself is not enough to "seal the deal" and get a woman to go to bed with you. Even if she's hot and bothered and actively WANTS to sleep with you, she'll still inevitably make you wait until she's developed an acceptable level of trust. 

The cardinal rule; If you are hoping she will be a one-night stand, don't lead her to believe that you are looking for a dating relationship. While you might successful deceive her, it is unethical to lie to get what you want. On the other hand, if you are already in a relationship, be transparent about how serious you are. Don't lead her to believe that you foresee marriage when you are actually considering breaking up. On the flip side, don't tell her that you are happy with a casual relationship if you want to be exclusive. Remember, it doesn't matter how attractive women find you, if they don't trust you they'll slam on the breaks. So be sure to use this formula to build trust and make women feel comfortable doing what they already want to do... YOU!

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Things Men Find Attractive in Women

Choosing the right one for you...Umm, yeah, it's certainly not as easy as it's cracked up to be. I repeat myself and I don't mean to keep sounding like a broken record. Nonetheless, dating today is different than it was when I was younger. I thought it was difficult then. Imagine that times 10. I saw not all that long ago a list that men actually have in choosing the right woman. Are you for real? Dating is not supposed to be like this, not at all. There is too much pressure for heaven sakes. It's a date, not a peace treaty. Keep it real and keep it simple. This should be fun, so ease up and enjoy it.

 If you are wondering what men find attractive in women, there is a very simple answer. You can easily use this information to make yourself more appealing to the average man. Having confidence in yourself is the first step. With that you might as well forget it. If you are confident, a man often tends to overlook the smaller things that bother you about your looks, etc. When you feel good about YOU, all else will fall into place. For many, it's not all about the looks, but for some, sad as it is to say, it is all about the physical appearance. My thoughts; Unless you look like a million bucks and are perfect in every way...do not expect the women to be a perfect 10. What am I saying here for you slow ones on the bus? If you aren't all that and a bag of chips, do not expect a woman to be as such.

Physically, most men find feminine characteristics attractive in a woman. This means, they like women who are obviously women. The way that this is manifest can vary according to the individual of course and also according to culture, but you do not need me to tell you that physically the average woman is a different shape from the average man. 

As well as the obvious fact that women have larger breasts and hips, women also tend to have longer legs in proportion to their torsos than men, smaller feet, longer slimmer fingers, less body hair, more body fat (unfortunately), smoother skin and higher and more arched eyebrows. In most cultures, they also tend to have longer hair on the head.

So to make yourself more attractive to most men, no matter what you look like, you simply have to draw attention to or exaggerate your feminine characteristics. Here are some common ways that women do this:

• wear high heels (makes the legs look longer)
• shave legs and armpits (men don't want to see a real mess, that is the turn off to end all turn offs!)
• do not be too thin. That's right...men like women with a little meat on their bones.
• wear makeup (makes the skin look smoother) A little goes a long way, just don't look like a clown at the circus,...please!
• pluck eyebrows from below if necessary (never from above)
• get a new hair do!
• smile!Men love a woman who smiles!
• Laugh...it's good for the soul and it is contagious!
• grow nails (makes fingers look longer) Guys love long nails
• wear clothes and jewelry that society currently considers feminine

You probably already knew that men tend to like women who do these things! But many people are not aware of the reason why. It is simply because these things emphasize the difference between men and women.

The opposite is generally true as well. Women tend to prefer men who have broad shoulders and narrow hips, some body hair, more muscle and less fat. Thick, straight eyebrows close over the eye are usually considered attractive in a man. If you look at the pictures of models in a magazine you can see all of these factors being stressed, depending whether the model is a man or a woman. It is not all about the looks. If you are a male and only 5'6" there really is nothing you can do to become 5'11" over night. Some women like taller men. If this occurs, you need to find someone who is OK with your size. 

Just the same ladies, some men only want arm candy. I hate that term, and I dislike the type of man that thinks he needs a woman to be just that. Don't be any mans arm candy, unless of course your self-esteem is so low that you don't mind him treating you like a trophy wife. Don't you deserve much better?

Hey, some people believe that men are programmed to be hunters and this is why they do not like to be chased after, but prefer to pick out a woman who is not so easy to get. Whether this is true or not, it is always more rewarding and better for the self esteem to be around people who like you and want to be with you. So there is not much point in chasing after a man who really is not interested in you. Don't do it, it's so wrong and so pathetic. The best relationships, like the best friendships, are always between two people who both like each other for who they are, not those forced into a relationship based on all that other crap.

Characteristics of personality are harder to generalize about because fortunately, for every personality type that a woman can have, there are some men who will find that attractive. We could say that women tend to be more motherly and caring than men, therefore most men will like a woman who is caring. But some men do not want kids and will run a mile from a woman who seems motherly. It happens and listen up gals,...if you date a man that you are really into and he doesn't like children and you HAVE children, walk away. He won't change and your family comes first. Others will feel smothered by a very caring attitude - they like a more independent minded woman. This seems to evolve at an early age. Isn't it time to try to break the cycle and make some changes? Looks are great and all, but if she is beautiful on the outside and a roaring bitch on the inside is that what you really want?

 Ladies, if he is handsome on the outside with adorable looks, personality and great job yet is selfish and demeaning on the inside is this really what you want? It certainly is not what you deserve. The good news is that the pool of men and woman is abundantly large, so keep looking if you haven't found the right fit for you yet. 

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com

Do You Believe in Soul Mates?

Do you believe that there is a special person for everyone? Do you believe in soul mates? We tend to look our entire lives for that right fit, that one person that is our 'other half.' We may have been friends with them for several years or you may bump into him sharing a taxi in NYC. How do you know when you've found your soul mate? Some people will tell you that they "just know", while others can identify several characteristics and reasons why they seem to perfectly mesh with their relationship counterpart.

 My thoughts are simple. Life is full of surprises, sometimes they come about when you are least expecting them to. Looking for love is not easy. My grandmother used to always tell me "Michele, don't go looking for love, it will find you." Well Baba, it's been 13 years since my divorce and I have waited a very long time...my thoughts are now this...if it happens, it happens and if it does not, it merely wasn't meant to be for me. I believe that if you are fortunate enough to find true love once in your life you have been blessed. To find it more than once is rare, but it does happen. My unprofessional advice; don't give up on love. 

For those of us who haven't found a soul mate yet, there are things we can be looking for to speed up the process. There are always going to be things we like and dislike about others, but the true test is deciding whether or not we can lovingly accept the negative attributes. Sometimes we care about someone very much, but discover that there is some factor that we simply cannot accept for one reason or another.

Here are some factors to think about when searching for a soul mate:

1. Morals & Beliefs. Everyone comes with their own set of morals and beliefs. Stick with them. Don't back down on change what you believe in to suit the needs of someone else. Sure you can meet in the middle, relationships are built on the 50/50 rule. I call it 'give and take.' We all know that we should be open, honest, and accepting of others. But oftentimes when our core beliefs differ, it's hard to have a lasting relationship. This is why you'll want to have deep discussions about faith, morals, and beliefs with potential partners. If someone isn't a fit at this deep of a level, you should seriously consider whether the relationship is even worth getting serious about.

2. Communication. You'll hear over and over that communication is the key. I say it so much so often that I am beginning to sound like a broken record. Listen,...there are different ways of communicating and you need to figure out the best way to communicate with your partner. At the same time you need to know that you can live with this communication method. Some partners are big on talking, while others are more sensitive to nonverbal communication.

3. Respect. If you don't respect yourself, you can't respect someone else. Dig deep and learn to love YOU! Ask yourself this; Does the potential partner respect you, your body, and your family? You're one of a kind, so you shouldn't give yourself to just anyone. Make sure he or she takes care of you and your family. You're worth it!

4. Family. You need to mesh well with their family and vice versa. Discussions about family also include your hopes and dreams when it comes to your own future family. Do you want to get married someday? If so, how many kids would you like to have? 

5. Personality. Your personality plays a big role in deciding your compatibility with others. However, it's always up for debate whether or not it's best to be with someone with a similar personality or someone with an opposite personality. In this case you'll have to decide your own preference and see how it works out for you.

6. Hobbies & Interests. It's pretty certain that you won't share every hobby and interest that your partner enjoys. However, it definitely helps the relationship when you have things in common. This will provide you with activities to do with each other in order to deepen your relationship. There will also be plenty of topics for conversation. 

7. Conflict. Even the most perfect couples deal with conflict from time to time. Hash it out! If you don't the problem will just get bigger and bigger. Both you and your partner need to learn the best methods to get through arguments effectively. Try not to lash out in anger, instead strive to understand your partner. Instead of playing the blame game, discuss your problems calmly. If your potential mate attacks you or consistently ignores your feelings, then it's perhaps not a good fit.

Long Term Relationships

When you first meet someone, you may be attracted to his or her looks or personality. As you get to know each other better, you'll be able to see the clues as to whether or not you've found your true soul mate. Please try not to rush things along because anything worth having is worth waiting for! At the same time, you definitely should be having deep conversations about future plans and beliefs at an appropriate time in the relationship. This way if you run into a snag and find out that you can't be together, you won't be as emotionally invested. After all, you don't want to waste as much time in a dead end relationship.Stay positive! Don't be 'Negative Nancy.' Keep your chin up and have some hope for goodness sake. Keep looking with an open heart and mind, because everyone's soul mate is out there somewhere. Like a buried treasure, he/she is awaiting you to discover them in all their beauty both inside and out. 

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Bangs...the New SEXY!

Bangs...we love them, then we hate them. Sexy or not sexy? I say SEXY! Fashion trends come and go. Bangs are in one year and out the next. There is something about change in style that allows us the freedom to let our hair grow out and then to cut it off. Good fashion is sexy. Style is SEXY! How you look says a lot about who you are, so be on your best behavior. Whether it be for your business profession or your personal attire, look your best always. Find the look that suits you best. Change is good. If you are stuck in a time warp and you have had the same hairstyle for 10+ years or more, chances are you are looking frumpy, make the change.

 If you are a friend and your BFF is the gal I am describing...do them a BIG favor and help them! It's time for intervention and a makeover. Make it all about having a special 'girls day.' Not only will they thank you but they will look and feel so much better. How we look has a lot to do with how confident we are inside and out. Change your 'do' and buy some sexy lingerie while you're at it. Shop www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com foe luxury lingerie, bridal lingerie, wedding day lingerie, and plus size lingerie. Fantasy costumes, teddies, babydolls, chemises, garter sets, sexy matching sets. We have it all. Just think how happy your partner, mate, lover, spouse will be when you come home with a new hairstyle and super sexy lingerie?!!

Sooo, what do you do with your bangs? Many women cut their bangs and then hate them...Hey, the good news is that hair grows! Growing your bangs out doesn’t have to be a fashion or beauty nightmare. Although the process seems to take forever and the look is not always great, there are ways to keep some sense of fashion during this awkward time. Bangs can make your face look smaller and mask a high or narrow forehead. They look good on straight hair but can be more of a challenge for curly hair. 

It all starts with getting the right cut. Don’t try to cut your bangs yourself...unless you are a hairdresser like I am, then it's OK. Yes ladies, I am not only a single mother, a family gal, a business woman...I am also a licensed cosmetologist. I am the jack of all trades. Seek professional help if you desire a new hairstyle. You would be surprised, and horrified, at the number of home jobs gone bad. It’s much better to go to a professional and have them trim them just above your eyebrows. This is neither too short nor too long. Don’t cut them too short. Big, thick, chunky bangs will not be a plus in the beauty department. Also go back for regular trims to keep them your bangs from looking straggly. 

The styling options are endless when trying to grow your bangs out. One day you can use a hair gel to try to get your bangs to blend in with your other hair. Another day, try out the fashionable hair clips on the market. There are all varieties and colors to choose from such as butterflies, ladybugs, or if that’s not your style, use old fashioned bobby pins. Whatever your style, there’s a hair accessory to fit your personality. I had long lair for the longest time. I went from past the shoulder length to the 'Bob' cut and I love short hair now! I do miss ponytails, but like anything else I can go back to longer hair anytime. A great suggestion might be pulling your bangs back with a headband. Bangs can be a fountain of youth and make many women look younger. Having bangs means having more options. Play around with accessories and styling products to find the look that’s right for you.

Try French-braiding one side of your hair, tuck in your feathers or braids, or wear headbands. Slick back your bangs with gel or pomade to bring focus to your face and keep the attention away from your awkward bangs. Once your bangs grow out, you can have them shaped into a chunky fringe that tapers down your temples. Maybe try going to bed with damp hair to see what materializes when you wake up.

Bangs can change your look subtly or dramatically. Bangs can be youthful, flirtatious, casual or sexy. The impact of one’s bangs is dependent upon the cut and the length of them. Bangs can be short, long or mini. They can be layered, precise or wispy. Many combinations are possible between these cut and length options. 

 Bangs are typically associated with youthful girls. We’re all familiar with the rosy cheek little girl with pig tails and a full bang. We also know the classic teenager with a bouncy ponytail and bangs. Achieve a youthful look with soft edged brow length bangs. These bangs should extend from one brow tip to the other. The bang should be full with a slight bend at the ends. 

Wear this style bang with a ponytail or the hair down. Bangs also allow one to conceal lines in the forehead, thus providing a more youthful look. Make sure the bang doesn’t extend past the brow or it will be too heavy and dominate the face. Remember you are framing the face, not hiding it.Sometimes you want a more relaxed look, yet still mature. Pair a precision cut bang with a bun or chignon. This bang can be from mid-forehead to brow bone in length. Casual bangs can also be layered and swept to the side. Layered bangs should be eye length when un-layered, so that they are brow length when flipped up. This look is good for weekends, stay at home moms and those with less formal occupations. 

Flirtatious and sexy bangs can change your look dramatically...and this is a good thing! Sometimes they are layered and sometimes they are wispy. Layer these bangs and maintain the length from the nose bridge to the nose tip. They can be flipped up with a curling iron and swept to the side. They can also be multi length and wispy for a very soft effect.Look and feel sexy! They should partially cover your eyes and lend an air of mystique. Men love this look. Layered bangs can be worn with one’s hair down, buns, ponytails or upsweeps. Wispy bangs look best with hair down or ponytails, especially low hung ponytails.This bang is great for evening galas and romantic dinners. It also works for those of us with artistic occupations or in the fashion business. Listen gals, whether you desire a subtle or dramatic change, bangs can help you achieve a new look. Bangs can be adapted to fit your lifestyle, whether casual, youthful or sexy. You can wear them long and layered or short and sassy.

What bang length is best for you? Decide this according to your facial features.

• Oblong. With long and narrow faces, the object is to always make the face look wider. This means creating more width and volume at the side of the face. A longer, side-swept bang is perfect for your face shape. Be careful about the length of the bang though, because that also makes a difference. In fact, the length of this type of bang is the most important factor, says the stylist. Make sure your bangs fall on or near your cheekbone.

• Triangle. Bangs are a great idea for this face shape, as this face shape consists of a narrow forehead and a wider jawline. Bangs create width on the forehead to balance out this face shape. Try any type of bang you want!

• Round. Unfortunately those with round faces will not suit bangs – it’s best to avoid them, as they just draw more attention to the fullness of the face. When round face shapes get bangs, the eye will see less face and will be cut off to show a shorter, fuller, rounder face.

• Diamond. This face shape is basically a more angular oval face shape. A short, side swept bang works well on this face shape to soften up the angular areas. The length for the bang doesn’t matter; though don’t keep it too long!

• Heart. Heart face shapes consists of a narrow chin and a wide forehead. Because bangs create width in the forehead area, it is quite tough as this face shape already has width. As long as the bang is cut narrow and doesn’t past the outside the eye (meaning it’s kept to the center of the forehead), bangs can look beautiful with this face shape.

• Oval. And as always – oval face shapes are considered the ‘ideal’ face shape, so lucky you, you suit anything!

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Happy Hour...How To Stick To Your Diet

This is on of my favorite times to get together with friends BUT I have to be careful of a few things. Alcohol and food. No one wants to drink too much. For me a glass or two of wine is great, or a martini. For food, I am trying so hard to be good BUT it's hard. Weight gain is a difficult one for me. I gain 5 pounds just looking at a big slice of cheesecake so I monitor what I eat and ration it. Like so many people, the end of the day, especially the end of the week is a time to unwind and prepare for the weekend. Happy hour is a post workday tradition for many Americans, but oh those fun calories can add up quickly if you aren't careful. Hey, we all fall off the diet wagon from time to time, and when friends go out especially after work hours, it can be even more difficult. What is one to do? Consider these options for sticking to your diet when visiting a bar or opting for other alternatives for the after work get-together. Here are a few tips for healthier eating and drinking.

Nutritious Bar Foods

1. Select soy. That's right, you heard me....Edamame and veggie burgers can turn happy hour into a low calorie early dinner. You'll get plenty of good quality protein and vitamins. With the rest of the evening free, you can even take a run when you get home.

2. Opt for seafood. Oysters and shrimp may be high in cholesterol, but they're also good sources of low fat protein. Just watch out for the high sodium cocktail sauces. Mussels are another smart choice if you skip the French fries on the side.

3. Nibble on olives and other vegetables. Olives are high in fat but it's the monounsaturated version that's good for your heart. Cut vegetables make an excellent snack as long as you avoid the breaded and fried varieties.

4. Order the hummus platter. Hummus can also be the center of a balanced meal. Just remember pita chips may be just as fattening as potato chips.

5. Indulge in pizza. Pizza is fine for an occasional treat. Plain slices or vegetable toppings are better for your waistline than pepperoni or sausage. Plus multi-grain crust is a whole lot more wholesome than white crust.

6. Have some nuts. Portion control makes nuts a great snack. An ounce of almonds or walnuts has less than 200 calories.

Drinking Wisely

1. Drink in moderation. Moderate drinking is considered one drink per day for women and two for men. Keep in mind that many bar drinks contain more than one serving of alcohol, which is about 12 grams. That's equivalent to 5 ounces of wine, 12 ounces of beer or 1.5 ounces of liquor.

2. Recognize the highest-calorie cocktails. White Russians and Long Island ice teas have as many calories as a whole meal. Think twice about any drink with cream or extra alcohol.

3. Pick slimmer cocktails. Rum and diet coke has less than 100 calories. Bloody Mary's are only about 120 calories and you'll get some vitamin C!

4. Drink light beer or wine. Red wine and white wine both have only about 100 calories a glass. Most light beers are about the same.

5. Switch to non-alcoholic beverages. You can always enjoy hanging out while you stick to water or diet soda. Drinking plenty of water may also help you resist the temptation to eat more.

Additional Suggestions

1. Suggest alternative activities. Focus on spending time with your colleagues and unwinding after work rather than on drinking alcohol. You could go out for frozen yogurt or take in an early movie or concert. Local gyms or yoga studios will likely give you a discount if you ask about bringing in a group.

2. Enlist your employer. Studies show that positive relationships at work can improve productivity and worker satisfaction. Talk with your boss about coordinating after-work events. Many organizations offer free guest speakers on topics like wellness or financial management. You might also use the conference room to watch a movie or the parking lot to serve up a taco bar.

3. Avoid drinking and driving. It's always best to drink in moderation but it's even more important when you're planning to drive. If you think there's any chance that you will drink to excess, pick a designated driver or make other transportation arrangements in advance. 

Happy hour is really great way to boost morale among co-workers and switch gears between the office and home while you sit out the rush hour traffic. Order carefully at the bar if you're watching calories or try some new activities for your next after work get-together. Life is good, enjoy it.

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Things to Know About TUMMY TUCKS

In the world of cosmetic surgery...the tummy tuck (which is technically known as abdominoplasty) is not as many individuals believe a method of weight loss but instead is geared towards removing fat, tightening stomach muscles and strengthening the walls of the abdomen. In most case studies, it's all about the abdominal skin that has lost elasticity and no longer responds to the efforts of diet or exercise could benefit tremendously from a tummy tuck. Dieting and exercising of course are very important to lose weight and tone muscles but they cannot tighten loose flabby skin or improve the part of the abdomen known as the inner girdle. Let's face it, we all have a flaw here or there. Especially after pregnancies and weight loss/gain we run into this problem and if can seriously affect our confidence. What can we do about it? What is a tummy tuck? Here's the 4-1-1:

A tummy tuck will tighten your inner girdle and therefore give you a flatter, smoother looking stomach. How many of us want that flat stomach? Everyone that I know does....but how much do we really know about this topic? I'm about to embark on some things that I recently learned about this procedure. Although the results of an abdominoplasty procedure are technically permanent, the positive outcome can be greatly diminished by significant fluctuations in your weight. For this reason, individuals who are planning substantial weight loss or women who may be considering future pregnancies may be advised to postpone abdominoplasty surgery.

 A tummy tuck can get rid of almost all of the fat in your lower abdominal area and stretch marks will become a thing of the past. Plastic surgeons believe that the effects of pregnancy cannot distort a woman’s abdominal area so badly that it cannot be repaired by a tummy tuck. Besides women who’ve given birth, tummy tucks are favored by men and women alike who have lost a great deal of weight and are left with an excess of loose skin around their mid section.

Speaking of the inner girdle, we all have one, both men and women alike. The inner girdle can be found extending from your ribcage, down the length of your abdomen to your pubic bone and also from one side of the abdomen to the other. The inner girdle is situated between the abdominal fat of your body and your rectus muscles. The inner girdle is tough and sturdy and its primary job is to support the abdomen’s contents in order that they do not protrude outward. The gristle that is obvious on a piece of steak is the exact same substance that your inner girdle is made up of. Plastic surgeons have devised their own special name for this layer of skin- they call it “fascia.”

When a woman becomes pregnant her inner girdle stretches to accommodate the fact that the uterus is becoming bigger. After the baby has been born, with exercise and diet her muscles will regain some of the tone they once had, however her inner girdle will not fare as well. After pregnancy the inner girdle often does not go back into the proper shape it was in beforehand as it is not as resilient or as elastic as the abdominal muscles. For this reason after a woman has finished having her children she may decide to have a tummy tuck because the operation will allow for the tightening of the inner girdle in order to give it a flatter, smoother, and more attractive appearance. It is important to note that what a tummy tuck is all about is tightening the inner girdle and not tightening the muscles.

The abdominal muscles in fact are below the inner girdle and are never exposed at any time during the surgical procedure.

Tummy tucks can indeed do wonders however they are not miracle cures by any means, and do have their limits. The stretch marks on your lower abdomen, as previously mentioned, will disappear with a tummy tuck procedure but the same cannot be said for your mid or upper abdomen, although the tummy tuck will move stretch marks in these areas down lower on your abdominal area. If your upper abdomen consists of a thick layer of fat then unfortunately abdominoplasty will not get rid of the thickness. Liposuction may be out of the question as well due to circulation and healing problems as well as other complications. 

Tummy tucks can be broken down into three different types. There is the mini tummy tuck, the full tummy tuck and the ‘fleur de lise’ tummy tuck. The mini tuck is the best choice for those individuals who have only a little bit of loose or flabby skin in their abdominal area. In this case a low short transverse scar is made in the line where underwear sits and from here the plastic surgeon can take out excess fat and skin and tighten up the muscles. The most popular kind of tummy tuck which is also the one that has the most dramatic after effects is the full tummy tuck. When performing a full tummy tuck the plastic surgeon uses a similar scar as in the case of the mini tummy tuck but the surgery involves a larger area. The skin is elevated all the way up to the bottom of the ribcage and skin from the belly button to the pubic area is taken out creating a flatter appearance. The patient’s original belly button is gone with this procedure and a new one must be created by the surgeon. The last tummy tuck, known as ‘fleur de lise’ is the best bet for patients who already have vertical scars from past stomach stapling surgeries. With this operation the surgeon uses the pre-existing scar to fold in the skin including the sides of it. 

Abdominoplasty is a good option for you if:

• You are physically healthy and at a stable weight
• You have realistic expectations
• You do not smoke

Although the results of an abdominoplasty procedure are technically permanent, the positive outcome can be greatly diminished by significant fluctuations in your weight. For this reason, individuals who are planning substantial weight loss or women who may be considering future pregnancies may be advised to postpone abdominoplasty surgery. 

 

What a tummy tuck won't do:

Tummy tucks are not a substitute for weight loss or an appropriate exercise program. Also, tummy tuck operations cannot correct stretch marks, although these may be removed or somewhat improved if they are located on the areas of excess skin that will be excised, generally the treated areas below the belly button.

As with all surgeries, think, before you DO. Get more than one opinion, and always seek advice from a professional. 

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

 

The Language of Love...How to Identify It and Express It

We know that there is a sense of warmth when someone cares for us. Everyone needs to feel loved. It makes us feel good, it gives us a confident feeling. We feel appreciated and we transform those feelings into so many incredible things for our partner. It's vital to know how you enjoy being loved, but also how to properly love others.There are various ways to describe the languages of love,yet some of us may not fully understand them. Love is a special thing to endure. Some people are very fortunate to find it and when you do, you want to really hang on to it.I say this over and over but please...COMMUNICATE with one an other. Good communication is a tool, and good tools can make a task much easier to accomplish.

Communication is probably the number one stated problem area among the couples I work with in my practice. Common problem descriptions include, “We don’t communicate very well,” or “we argue too much,” or “we just don’t know how to communicate with each other.”When couples experience frequent arguments and the heartache of unresolved conflict it is no wonder that they identify “lack of communication” as one of their central issues. These couples don't quite get the language of love.

There is a basic breakdown of five different love languages to make it easier for us to identify how to express ourselves to our loved ones. Once you've figured out what your partner's love language is you'll be able to show them how you feel in a way that is fulfilling to them.

For example, let's say that your partner likes to hear the words "I love you" often. Even though they know that you love them, just hearing the phrase can brighten their day. But perhaps you thought that you should express your love by buying little gifts. Your loved one likely appreciates the gesture whenever you show your love, but at the same time it's not their personal preference of how they like to receive love. 

The Love Languages Explained:

1. Verbal Lovers. Like the example above, some people just like to hear gestures of love such as "I love you" and "I appreciate everything that you do." For this type of person, you'll want to provide constant encouragement, never letting things go unsaid.

• Try verbalizing your appreciations in some way each day. That's right, just tell them!
• Don't assume your partner knows what you're thinking and feeling - speak up!

2. Time Well Spent. One of the love languages has to do with spending quality time with your partner. This doesn't mean just casual conversation; it means the times where your partner is your main focus. If your partner enjoys quality time, here are some things to consider:

• Choose a certain time each day or week where you're completely dedicated to your partner. This means that you need to shut off the TV, Yes...turn off ESPN! Put down the paper, and take some away from the kids.
• Think of activities you can do together to really connect.
• Make sure you have a good relationship with yourself; it's the only way you can truly connect with your partner.

3. The Gift Giver. Who doesn't love gifts....large or small? Another love language is one where your partner may enjoy giving and receiving gifts. This isn't because they're greedy; it means they're visual people who enjoy seeing proof of your deepening relationship. If you're with this type of partner, try these tips:

• Even if you're a big saver, make the effort to spend at least a little money or make some homemade or handmade gifts.Something small goes a long way.
• Leave loving cards and notes for them. This is in no way costly yet they know that you are thinking of them.
• Don't give gifts everyday, but give gifts that are meaningful.

4. The Chores. We can't forget the chores when it comes to a language of communication between partners. Since there are many things that need to get done around the house, it often causes problems when you try to figure out who's doing what. Keep these tips in mind:

• Everyone has different chores that they deem important.
• Figure out which ones your partner doesn't enjoy and do them.
• Chores involve thinking ahead, which your partner will certainly appreciate.

5. Physical Affection. The physical affection love language can get complicated. Expressing your love physically doesn't only mean making love. It involves simple touches too. Each partner will usually have some kind of opinion when it comes to this language:

• Figure out which kinds of touches your partner enjoys, it may be a gentle rub of their shoulders or some cuddling while watching television.
• This is equally important, figure out which touches irritate your partner.
• Get to know your partner's moods so you know when to express physical affection.

The Combination

Your partner will likely speak a certain combination of these love languages. As your relationship deepens, you'll get to know your partner better and better. It may even help to outright discuss the topic of love languages with your partner to better understand each other.This is a great line of opening the communication and verbally discussing what it is that makes you happy. 

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