Why do We Get Jealous?

Oh yikes, here's a sore subject that none of us want to talk about...but we've all experienced. My question now is, why? Why do we feel the need to be jealous? It starts at a very young age and progresses over the years only often to get so much worse. Overcoming jealousy has been one of my most requested topics for new articles, but in the past I’ve always declined such requests because I don’t have much personal experience in this area.  I’m not prone to jealousy, I've never had much time for it, and I was raised to believe in yourself and to never allow others to feel or act superior over you... so I can’t explain from personal experience how to overcome it.  Nevertheless, due to the demand for such an article, I’ll risk sharing my thoughts on it anyway. You may think differently, but I think this pretty much hits the nail on the head.

In my opinion jealousy is a side-effect of a mindset that’s rooted in scarcity.  Jealousy is the emotion resulting from the notion that another person’s success or happiness somehow diminishes your own.  If you look at the world from the lens of abundance instead of scarcity, it’s very difficult to become jealous.

From my standpoint another person’s success and happiness is a very good thing.  You could even say that’s my purpose in running this site.  When the people around me are happy and fulfilled, they’ll naturally spread those feelings to others.  This is a situation to be desired, not avoided.

I’d rather be surrounded by people who are doing better than me in some fashion than by people who are unhappy.  Seeing people exceed my capabilities doesn’t make me jealous.  It inspires me.

I have friends who are incredibly talented, and it’s hard for me to imagine ever being at their level.  But I can say with total honesty that I never feel jealous of their successes and accomplishments, even when they totally put me to shame with their skill. The reason is that I see reality in such a way that other people’s happiness is simply another expression of my own happiness.

Jealousy is a very ego-based notion. Ladies....come on...seriously?  If you want to feel jealous, you must first adopt a scarcity mindset that suggests we’re in competition with each other.  Reality must be reduced to your ego vs. other people.  If someone gets that great job, that wonderful girlfriend, or that new house, it means you can’t have it.  They won.  You lost. Deal with it.

There’s an element of scarcity in jealousy as well as an element of attachment.  If you want to become jealous, just become emotionally attached to something impermanent and then lose it to someone else.

What you may not yet realize is that the mindset of jealousy is in fact creative.  If you cling to a belief in scarcity, you’ll attract plenty of scarcity-based situations that will reflect that mindset back to you:  the promotion that you missed because someone else got it, the girlfriend you lost to your best friend, the parent that expresses more affection for your siblings instead of you. 

Due to the creative nature of jealousy, I’ve no doubt whatsoever that if you’re prone to jealousy, you’ll find plenty of reasons to feel jealous.  I’m not saying those reasons aren’t valid or that you should just pretend you didn’t get the short end of the stick.  I’m sure you got shafted big time.  But are you aware of why this keeps happening to you?  Until you can reach that awareness, you’ll continue repeating the pattern of manifesting new reasons to be jealous.

My current view of reality makes it nearly impossible for jealousy to arise because I don’t subscribe to the belief that we’re all separate beings in competition with each other.  Instead I see us as projections of an all-encompassing consciousness.  This may sound a little strange, but I usually prefer not to think of myself as an individual human being.  I consider my ego to be nothing but a perspective — a lens through which consciousness can view and interact with its contents.  But by itself it has no real substance...

Want my advice? Don't waste your time being jealous. It will only slow you down, cause you to think yourself into so many insecurities and eat away at you. Instead, you should realize that you are confident...so start showing it sister! RIGHT NOW! Enough of the "Oh she is so much prettier" or "Oh she is smarter so she deserves it more!" Hogwash! Repeat after me.....something Doris Day once sang said..."I can do anything you can do better" It's not even about women being jealous of other women....women are jealous of one another....it's so silly.



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