We all have at one time or another experienced relationship hurdles...Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt like you were on a teeter totter and couldn't get off? Up and down, up and down....sometimes enough to make us sick? Well, life and relationships are similar to the teeter totter effect. Everyday we have ups and downs...the question is: "how do we deal with them?" Might I suggest identity what it is that makes your relationships unique and treat it like an investment...after all, you want to both put into it to get a great return. Nothing good comes from anything that you don't have to work hard at obtaining. It is an investment of time, energy, love, and resources. It takes work to actually build healthy relationships. There are times that you want to give up, but you just keep on going.
In a healthy relationship there is a natural give and take. The opposite is true in an unhealthy relationship. If it is too one sided, it is not a healthy relationship. It should never just be about one person, but there are times that you both give and times that you both take. The best illustration that I have ever heard about this is like a bank account. You invest your time, energy and resources and there is a surplus. The other person does the same. Then, when you need one another there is plenty to redeem. So the other person never feels that they are going into the negative with you… there should always be a good balance. In life there are times that you will have to withdrawal more than others, hence the fact that there should also be times that you can deposit more as well.
So the next logical step is recognizing if someone is withdrawing too much or too often from you and vice versa. So many people think that they can not say no in healthy relationships. The opposite is completely true. Good relationships have good, healthy boundaries. I love the thought of boundaries being like tennis nets. A tennis net is soft enough to give a little when you run into it, but strong enough to hold you up. Your relationship boundaries should be the same, soft enough to give a little but strong enough to hold strong. Still like the teeter tooter, you need balance otherwise, someone is going to get hurt.
So as you invest the greatest gift you have in others set healthy boundaries, take notes, and learn... In building a healthy relationship, it sometimes feels like balancing on a teeter totter… but you can do it. It takes time, patience and some trial and error. Often it will be lots of them, practice makes perfect! You have the right to make your relationships the best they can be. Remember, you can’t change others, but you do have the power to change yourself, one conversation, one interaction at a time. Give yourself grace as you begin to make changes… Remember...Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, you're human, and we all make them. Patterns that you have been living for years don’t change in a day... But when you really think about it… relationships are the center of it all. In order to find your true love, you need to harmonize well together and find your perfect balance!
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