A really good friend from my past,...my childhood days wrote me a letter on Facebook this morning. Having married and moved away at such a young age, I lost touch with so many people...but as my grandmother once said, good friends will never be too far away, for they are just a phone call away and will always be there for you no matter what, or when. I lived in a neighborhood where everything seemed perfect, families all got along, we all loved the NFL, had our favorite teams and rivals, went to school together, shared friends, our mothers played cards once a month at each of our houses and we were involved with everything, church related, family and friends. We were like our own big happy family on Nottingham Drive. Yes we all grow up and move on, but with change comes new beginnings...as we grow older and have families ourselves, or marry and further our careers, sometimes we tend to change, but for the better. I was raised to always befriend everyone, not to judge and spread the love. No one is perfect, no one ever will be, and we all make mistakes."True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!
This morning I received a response from a very dear old neighborhood friend that I recently asked out to lunch or to meet for dinner to do some catching up. His response, which was quite personal, so I cannot share in its entirety, hit me emotionally hard, and deep. As my mother and I sat reading his note we both cried. He stated that due to some health issues he just isn't the same as before and that if I wanted to "back out" now was my chance....OK, first of all, lets stop here. I have never turned my back on anyone and I sure as shit am not about to start now. 2nd,.. Why on earth should an illness or physical attribute matter? Is he not still the same young boy that was my friend and that stood up for me as young adults? Was he not still one of the nicest guys that I have ever met? YES he was and he still is.
Friendships may come and go with some people but if you were my friend when I was 5, chances are you are still my friend! There are a lot of people that turn their backs on friends for various reasons, not me. It's not how I was raised and it certainly is not my style. My best friend from my early childhood days was over weight from the time we were little girls....later in life as we grew up, she was still my friend and I lost several school friends because no one wanted to hang out with me anymore because of her weight.....guess what? Those friends were a dime a dozen., easily replaced and I never looked back. I would rather have that one friend who loved me for me and was happy to be around me than 10 girls that were superficial. What's funny is now 30 years later many of "those old friends" are overweight and not so attractive any longer,..but so what? Who and I to judge, and why would I care? I would never turn my back on them and it wouldn't matter to me what their shape or size was. It's the inner beauty that matters most. That is something that one cannot perfect like your appearance, or shape, or hair cut. It is a trait that we have that that makes us unique all on our own.
People get wrapped up in popularity and sad as it is sucks them in. Into a reality that is NO reality, I see it as being in their own personal hell. It's like living in a plush neighborhood and trying to keep up with your neighbors (let's call them the Jones family)...Why? Why do people do this? If what you have and who you are isn't good enough for them, it's time to find yourself some new friends. The funny thing here is ...these so call phony people that befriend you then "de-friend" you have serious problems themselves 9 times out of 10 and hide behind their toys and material crap so that you can't see through them. Start paying more attention and you will come to learn that those people are really just sad people who have to find ways to "buy" their friends. Myself, personally, I like being "me" and gathering friends all on my own who like me for who I am not what I have, or don't have.
After my divorce I lost a ton of friends....why? No more boats, the jet skis were gone, summer cottages, and nice house on the cul-de-sac where parties were hosted constantly. No more fun for them because I chose to walk away from it all and start a new life, single mother with very little, two kids, and no job, and no money....I guess that was not acceptable. To those old friends who have recently tried contacting me because NOW they learned that I have 3 businesses and have actually made something of myself...to those people if I were to give them the time of day I would respond with; "Thanks, but no thanks." I don't know about any of you but I sure don't need "clingers" as I now call them hanging on me because I have something. To those pathetic people I say shame on you for being so unreasonable and rude. I truly believe in karma. I do believe that what goes around comes around. A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. To my real true friends, whether I see you and speak to you everyday or whether I haven't seen you for weeks, months, or years...you'll always be my friends, and I will always have your back.
Over the years, I have done a lot of "soul searching" and come to one very personal realization. We want a lot of things, we pray for a lot of things or for the "right" people to come into our lives.... what I learned is that God doesn't give you what you want,...he gives you what you need. For whatever reason those people that are in your life have been hand selected and those people will be the ones whom whether it be today, tomorrow, next week, month, year, or 30 years later will always be there for you. Life is short.
After being ill I realized not to take things for granted as I share so often with you. Take time to think about your childhood days and the people who were close to you. So you got busy and involved in your own life and let time get away from you,.... it happens. We grow up. Take time now, find your old friend(s)...Look them up, say hello and ask them to lunch. It's never too late to make things right/to reconnect. If things ended in a way that you regret now, remember..... It's never too late to say I'm sorry, or I love you...and it's never too late to start a new. Somethings as we all know are meant to stay in the past, some don't. That is up to you to decide.
A friend, is always a friend then, now and forever.
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