New relationships are fun and scary at the same time. One minute you are so excited and the next you are sick to your stomach with worry.....and "what if's?" You're really not quite sure if the relationship is going to last, and whether being yourself is going to get you single fast or make him or her love you to death. What if its a relationship that began years ago and two were reunited again after several years? What then? What do you expect? How do you feel, act and what can you do to make certain that it runs smoothly?
You may try to conform to a certain role just to 'be the partner' that they are looking for, and that can cause a lot of problems not only down the road, but right now in regards to your outlook on yourself. So here is some advice on new relationships that will help you move towards a healthy and happy relationship that, hopefully, will last a long time!First thing is getting rid of excess baggage that we carry over from past relationships into our new relationships. Did your ex hurt you by cheating, lying, or just leaving you with no reason? Well, you can't carry that over into a new relationship or you are being unfair to your new partner.
You have to remember that every person in this world is different and just because your new partner says something or does something that led to hurt before, that doesn't mean it's going to happen again. Start fresh now! Shake off the old beliefs and habits and come into the new relationship fresh, if you don't....it will be doomed from the get-go! Have faith that this person until they prove they can't be trusted....lets hope that you never have to worry about this.
Second thing is having trust, as trust is a huge component to new relationships. So many of them end because of ridiculous trust issues that are again the result of the past.Yes, you do build trust as you go but you have to let go and believe that it's going to be okay in order to allow yourself to trust. Belief is powerful and will override your past issues. Affirm to yourself everyday that this new relationship is just that new - and you are putting your faith and trust into it without any inhibitions.
Third thing is dealing with conflict, as that issue tends to happen in new relationships, and it's always over the littlest things. But it's bound to happen because you are two people who used to be single and doing things your own way with no one to answer to. Understanding, communication, and patience are the keys to getting through conflict.
Understand that he/she has different outlooks on situations and a different way of doing things. Perhaps he is outgoing and you aren't so much, maybe he is shy and you,..not so much, or vice versa? Meet one another in the middle. Ask yourself, is this the man/woman that makes my life feel safe, complete and does this individual have what it takes to give me what I need? I've learned after all these years that happiness is so much better than anything else. So many enter into relationships for monetary reasons,....big mistake. That's easy bringing your funds together....show him that you "do" need him in various ways, and make him/her see that he is your "one and only!" It's important to reinforce this in a relationship, otherwise the communicate fizzles and so does the "what you have"....slowly you grow apart, until one day you wake up beside him/her and wonder how you got to this point?Don't argue without talking it out, and making up!
Talk about those issues and why they bother you and listen to his/her issues and why they bother him/her. Really listen and understand where they are coming from and you'll see that not everything has to be done or looked at a certain way (your way).
Lastly you need patience. Use your patience to get through or make it to the understanding and communication. Patience is a great virtue for relationships because without it we would just blow up without waiting to see the truth of the situation. Take deep breaths (not dramatically), take a time out, or take a walk if you have to but don't react in anger or annoyance. Keep your cool and you will be thankful you did later.
New relationships need to get over some humps and be polished a little bit but if you can do this then you are well on your way to a long lasting relationship. I've said this sooooo many times, and I will say it again....
The important thing to do is to build the foundation of the relationship so there's never any doubt about what you two expect from each other and there will be no surprises down the road. Enjoy the adventure, and be spontaneous with your partner. Always tell them how important they are to you, and just be there for them.
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