Monday, December 31, 2012

Dating, Relationships and Cheaters

Cheating...None of like to assume it happens, nor do we anticipate it ever happening to us, but it can and sometimes it does. At some point or another, we all have that one bothersome thought or two that crosses out minds...is my partner cheating? My guess is that you're likely to experience trust issues in your relationship. Why? We are all a little insecure at times. The thing is, whether or not we are secure with who we are has absolutely nothing to do with how honest mate is acting. It does make it a bit difficult when statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicious, warnings or signals of infidelity by your spouse or partner, listen to your gut.

Whether it's brought about by infidelity, a decrease in your own self esteem, your partner's newly hired young assistant, someone constantly flirting with them, or a simple change in your partner's behavior, your relationship can weather this storm and rise above feelings of uncertainty. You have to first of all believe that you can get through everything!

Follow these tips as we walk you through the trust issues you may face
This will assist you in experiencing the thriving relationship that you truly deserve:

1. Work on your self-esteem. Many trust issues in relationships that were once thriving stem from personal insecurities. If you've experienced significant changes in your appearance or noticed a drop in your self-esteem, it's important to build up your body image and self worth in order to rebuild the trust in your relationship. You must feel confident in who you are or you sure as heck won't be able to have faith in someone else.
  • It's common to become suspicious of the company that your significant other is keeping when your self-esteem plummets.  Many times, we are not given the opportunity to understand much less process what to do or how to react if and when we learn of infidelity in your relationship.Sometimes, you have to have some faith and give your partner the benefit of the doubt. The way you perceive yourself may be the only thing in your relationship that has changed.
2. Reflect on your past. Did something happen in your childhood that has caused you to become wary of trusting your heart to anyone? Did your parents choose to divorce when you were young? Were you sexually abused in the past? Or did you experience cheating in a past relationship/marriage?
  • These things and more can be responsible for your inability to trust others. When you've endured emotional trauma, especially during your youth, its effects can last decades. Speak to a therapist to help you find the root of the issue and learn how to work past the event.
3. Talk about your problems and issues with trust... and WHY you have these issues; 
 If there has been infidelity within your relationship, it's vital to hash out all hurt feelings and future expectations.
  • If you've cheated in the past or in an other relationship that you were in with someone else, it's normal for your partner to want to know where you are, what you're doing, and what time you'll be home. They'll ask if you'll be alone with anyone. Answer their questions truthfully and understand that they are hurting. Try to put yourself in their shoes? You might see things a bit differently.
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

That's what most people think, and if you've ever been cheated on, I can guess that is why you would feel as such. When most people get caught cheating, they make promises and vows to never cheat again. Sound familiar? Unfortunately, such promises often get broken. The desire to cheat is complicated and it is not solved by feeling sorry or by making promises to change. If you want to change any behavior, you must first determine why that behavior occurred. So, when it comes to infidelity and cheating, what factors led the person to cheat? Was it too much opportunity, was it due to problems in their relationships, was it due to a need for excitement? Did your appearance change? Did you gain weight? Are you a workaholic, or an alcoholic? What caused this? This is the million dollar question.

 Dating and Relationships are good. Not everyone cheats, or lies. Talk to your partner if there is tension, or distrust. If you feel like something is going on, speak up. Trust is about more than believing that your partner will remain faithful. It's about trusting that your partner will always be there for you in times of need, while also being a prominent part of the most important events in your life. Work on your trust as romantic partners - and as best friends - to truly guarantee a long healthy future and a happy ever after.You can get past this.


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