Dating Sites and looking for L-O-V-E or L-U-S-T?

Dating sites seem to be the route to take these days to finding love, and there are plenty of them out there to choose from…but what it if you don't desire love, rather lust? What if you aren't looking for the husband, kids and white picket fence? What if marriage was not an option? What if a past relationship went south and you just weren't cut out for more heartache? What if you don't want the whole enchilada that goes along with commitment or marital bliss? What if you are just seeking a lover, a NSA kind of guy? What if you just want a 'boy toy' if you will? Someone to give you an exclusive membership to their very own pleasure ride in the sky...their personal 'mile high club?' A man who you don’t want to be married to rather just share your private and alone time with a few times a month on intimate dinners, weekend getaways and travel, then you go your separate ways until your next encounter or get together? You might just find a certain kind of desired love and lust with this that brings you both together even stronger with every new rendezvous. Yes...sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too! 

When I think about meeting a man and dating him, or being his lover, I think about two people, at first strangers coming together to form a certain sense of harmony and really connecting on a variety of levels. When I think about a relationship whether it be long term or short term, the questions is not how long will it last rather, how good do these two people mesh together each time the unite? It takes two special people coming together and feeling a connection, first via emails, texts, and the phone and then in person. Many things go into this to make all the good things unfold, but oh if you plan this out and together make goals and commitments of some sort it will all fall into place and it very well can be a win/win for both of you. What is this you ponder? It’s called synchronicity.

Need me to spell it out for you? It is the phenomenon of meaningful things happening together in such a way that they are creatively linked, although one thing did not cause the other. It is as if there is a pattern to the events that is showing you that you are going in the right direction...and the right direction is always good. When you put forth effort and enthusiasm, it shows you are genuine and sincere. You're not playing games, you're both adults and deserve to be treated as such. 

So many things go into the full equation of asking; “Is he really the one that will make me happy?” or “Is he going to be discreet and respect me?” If he is the right guy for you, then getting together should be like a walk in the park. Don’t sweat the small stuff…that’s what I tell my friends. Making a connection with someone is not easy at all, in fact when you meet on line it can be even more difficult because you’ve viewed a profile and determined that you like or dislike him or her. If you do like them you proceed to get to know more about them because there is some sort of an attraction and there is so much more to an individual than simply their profile alone. As long as you are completely honest and have excellent communication skills all will be fine, not to worry. Just be YOU! You will find everything falling into place as if it was 'meant to be'. If there are obstacles now and then, they will be overcome; generally, your path will be smooth because you both went into this type of relationship with the same expectations not only as friends, but lovers. 

Not every chance encounter is magical. There may be some negative affects to meeting someone; sometimes you may meet the right person at the wrong time. Synchronicity is not there and if you try to force a relationship to happen, it will hit a brick wall, and ouch, you don’t want that! My strong non-professional advice would then be that should this happen to you; you’d better to let him go. If he is your Mr. Right, he will come back into your life again later, when it is the right time for both of you. I always say ‘don’t push fate’ it has to happen on its own. 

You may be looking for weeks or months for someone special and not find him, then one day you may be getting ready to close out a membership for a dating site and see a message from someone and decide to read it…it very well could be that one message that caught your eye was all that it took to produce a wonderful new friendship and passion in your life. Erotic and exotic fun may have just hit a new level. As Alanis Morissette once sang Isn't it "Ironic" don't ya think? Ironic that a cosmic connection such as this may just be explosive and then you can really kiss the dating sites goodbye!

4 Steps to Finding L-O-V-E on the Internet

 Dating-let's talk about it, shall we?
Are you new and back on the dating market? If so, you better sit down, because a lot sure has changed. I married my high school sweetheart and was married for over 15 years. Then one day the bottom fell out. I raised my children and did not think much about dating as I put their needs ahead of mine and did what I thought was the right thing to do. I waited until it was 'my' time. So where does one begin to find a new mate/partner/lover/spouse? Dating is nothing new.  It has been around for as long as anyone can remember.  Ask your parents and your grandparents and they will tell you the same thing.  The principles remain the same, only the particular situations and perhaps the “methods” have changed.

Did you know that there are now over 1400 sites to find your mate? There sure are, but which one is the right one for you? With the number of new sites on the market every month you have to ask yourself which one will be best for me?

Online dating opens up so many possibilities for anyone.  If you rely on the “traditional” way of meeting people, you are limited by geography.  On the other hand,online dating offers you the possibility of meeting a person halfway across the world – who just might be the person you have been looking for. Of course, just because you engage in online dating doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect for you.  In fact, you still have to maintain the common sense that you need even for traditional dating. 

 More so, you might want to exercise a bit of caution (emotional and physical alike) in online dating.  are dating sites like Match.com and PlentyofFish.com and relationship- or marriage-oriented sites like eHarmony.com, Chemistry.com and PerfectMatch.com.You’ll also find niche sites for Jews (JDate.com), Christians (ChristianCafe.com), African Americans (BlackPeopleMeet.com), Indians (Shaadi.com), nerds (GeektoGeek.com), pet lovers (DateMyPet.com) and single parents (SingleParentMeet.com). Are you looking for a sugar daddy? (Sugardaddyforme.com) is a great site to find the perfect friendship with benefits/perks so to speak, as well as (SeekingArrangement.com) if you are just looking for a certain financial 'arrangement' so to speak. 

Might I add my 2 cents?
Do be careful of the site(s) you choose;
It’s worth it to shell out for a membership! (Monthly fees range from $20-$60.) Although free sites are attractive in this down economy, having to pay for the service offers accountability. 

1) Take the compatibility test.
Choose at least one site with a compatibility test. They’re “a wonderful little filter” to weed out men looking for casual encounters, or an affair. Remember that not all men are going to be truthful on the site but oh women can be deceitful just the same, so be careful and proceed with caution. Do remember that most people on dating sites are there because they want to find their match/mate and this is the way to go about it in today's era. hey, be truthful. You want a partner to like the qualities that you actually portrait not the ones that you check off on a test hoping he'll like them...be yourself.

2) Pick an appropriate screen name. Oh yeah sure, the name; HotMama69 might find you Mr. Right for tonight, but not necessarily the future father of your children. Are you looking for a one night stand or are you here for serious business? Remember ladies that your screen name is their  first impression of you, so make it something catchy or with meaning behind it. Make it something catchy and that will stand out in his mind. 

 3) Stand out.The biggest problem with most online profiles? They’re too bland. You need to do something to really stand out amongst the hundreds or thousands of others floating around the cyber space of dating.
Don’t be afraid that details will put off potential dates. That’s exactly what you want your profile to do.
As a matter of fact; Your online dating profile should repel about 95% of the people who read it...oh but for the people who could be a good match, you want them to know it was written just for them.

4)Post pictures.Guys are visually oriented, so you need pictures to get their attention. In fact, many men look only at the pictures, skipping profiles entirely. For goodness sakes, pleaseeee post recent photos! No one wants a surprise on their first meeting to see someone walk in bald when the photo you saw was with a head of hair (fellas)...or you don't want to meet someone 50 pounds heavier than the photo you saw (ladies.) No, no no! Be honest and be yourself. You want someone to love you for YOU! Not for what you portrait yourself to be....

www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com 

Dating, Relationships and Cheaters

Cheating...None of like to assume it happens, nor do we anticipate it ever happening to us, but it can and sometimes it does. At some point or another, we all have that one bothersome thought or two that crosses out minds...is my partner cheating? My guess is that you're likely to experience trust issues in your relationship. Why? We are all a little insecure at times. The thing is, whether or not we are secure with who we are has absolutely nothing to do with how honest mate is acting. It does make it a bit difficult when statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicious, warnings or signals of infidelity by your spouse or partner, listen to your gut.

Whether it's brought about by infidelity, a decrease in your own self esteem, your partner's newly hired young assistant, someone constantly flirting with them, or a simple change in your partner's behavior, your relationship can weather this storm and rise above feelings of uncertainty. You have to first of all believe that you can get through everything!

Follow these tips as we walk you through the trust issues you may face

This will assist you in experiencing the thriving relationship that you truly deserve:

1. Work on your self-esteem. Many trust issues in relationships that were once thriving stem from personal insecurities. If you've experienced significant changes in your appearance or noticed a drop in your self-esteem, it's important to build up your body image and self worth in order to rebuild the trust in your relationship. You must feel confident in who you are or you sure as heck won't be able to have faith in someone else.

• It's common to become suspicious of the company that your significant other is keeping when your self-esteem plummets.  Many times, we are not given the opportunity to understand much less process what to do or how to react if and when we learn of infidelity in your relationship.Sometimes, you have to have some faith and give your partner the benefit of the doubt. The way you perceive yourself may be the only thing in your relationship that has changed.

2. Reflect on your past. Did something happen in your childhood that has caused you to become wary of trusting your heart to anyone? Did your parents choose to divorce when you were young? Were you sexually abused in the past? Or did you experience cheating in a past relationship/marriage?

• These things and more can be responsible for your inability to trust others. When you've endured emotional trauma, especially during your youth, its effects can last decades. Speak to a therapist to help you find the root of the issue and learn how to work past the event.

3. Talk about your problems and issues with trust... and WHY you have these issues; 

 If there has been infidelity within your relationship, it's vital to hash out all hurt feelings and future expectations.

• If you've cheated in the past or in an other relationship that you were in with someone else, it's normal for your partner to want to know where you are, what you're doing, and what time you'll be home. They'll ask if you'll be alone with anyone. Answer their questions truthfully and understand that they are hurting. Try to put yourself in their shoes? You might see things a bit differently.

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

That's what most people think, and if you've ever been cheated on, I can guess that is why you would feel as such. When most people get caught cheating, they make promises and vows to never cheat again. Sound familiar? Unfortunately, such promises often get broken. The desire to cheat is complicated and it is not solved by feeling sorry or by making promises to change. If you want to change any behavior, you must first determine why that behavior occurred. So, when it comes to infidelity and cheating, what factors led the person to cheat? Was it too much opportunity, was it due to problems in their relationships, was it due to a need for excitement? Did your appearance change? Did you gain weight? Are you a workaholic, or an alcoholic? What caused this? This is the million dollar question.

 Dating and Relationships are good. Not everyone cheats, or lies. Talk to your partner if there is tension, or distrust. If you feel like something is going on, speak up. Trust is about more than believing that your partner will remain faithful. It's about trusting that your partner will always be there for you in times of need, while also being a prominent part of the most important events in your life. Work on your trust as romantic partners - and as best friends - to truly guarantee a long healthy future and a happy ever after.You can get past this.

www.SimplyDeliciousLingerie.com

Sexy Lingerie...Our Secret to Why Women Wear It

Why wear sexy lingerie

 

For those of you who question why men like to see a woman in sexy lingerie...my response is quite simple actually. It's sexy and appealing.  Others might ask why a woman would want to wear lingerie....my response is to indulge and arouse him! Many women forget that lingerie can also be a way for her to accentuate her body. This means that you are showing off your curves and feeling great about who you are. You first must  feel a sense of confidence and by choosing the piece that works best with your shape is what will make the difference. Men are visual and when a woman can tap into her mans visual senses then she has added a whole new layer to the love making. Lets go behind the scene and get right to the psychology behind wearing lingerie shall we?

The psychology behind men wanting women to wear lingerie is quite simple...

Men are visual, where a woman is more auditory, so men automatically are going to be drawn to a woman who is wearing sexy lingerie. Many times the lingerie will accept the areas of a woman's body that a man already finds so attractive. He will want to watch as she walks around the room in her sexy lingerie and this will be a huge turn on for him. Another reason that a man likes a woman to wear sexy lingerie is so that his visual peaking can take place slower and draw him in as he removes each piece. He is in a sense unwrapping her like a special gift. When a man thinks about a woman he can see her in parts, the breast, and the behind each part of her he is able to see in snapshots.

When a woman looks at a man or fantasizes about him, she sees him in her mind as a whole or with a story line attached to it. This is one reason why men wearing silk boxers, brief or other body adornments have never really taken off in the heterosexual world, where as women wearing lingerie has been around for centuries. In research where men are with men, there will be more of a tendency for the other man to put on or accentuate parts of his body with leather, jewelry, and other paraphernalia to accentuate his features.

 Keep your man satisfied

Lets face it, men love to look at women, their bodies are a thing of beauty and adding adornment to a woman's body has been a practice dating back centuries. Men have always loved to add adornments to a woman's body, and many find it sexually stimulating just to look at how beautiful a woman may be in her sexy lingerie. A woman should not feel objectified in wearing sexy lingerie for her man but to better understand that men are visual and this can add to the sexual encounter that the two will share in together. The one fact that still remains and women should realize, is if her man is looking at her dressed up in lingerie and is pleased and satisfied, he won't be looking elsewhere. Many women that are happily married are the woman who have a large drawer of very sexy lingerie and know just how to use it. Not only do they satisfy they spouse but they simply make him happy. At Simply Delicious Lingerie we work hard to find the right pieces of lingerie and accessories to give you the best look possible. With a large variety of style, colors and patterns, we have everything you need in one store and because we are an online boutique, you can visit us from your office or the comfort of your own home day and night, at your convenience! We change our merchandise to accommodate you, so watch for changes in the next few months as we'll be bring in a variety of new products, also watch for our new plus size lingerie boutique to launch shortly! Simply Delicious Lingerie

Women Find Ways to Dress up their Appearance in a Seductive Way

For a woman lingerie can be her best friend. Why? Well, she can use it to accentuate her body and give herself a more seductive appearance. Lingerie is made to help woman lift the breast area and create curves on the body. A women can also add high heels into the mix, and elongate her legs and thighs creating leaner longer legs. The lingerie will also help a woman to feel sexier in the bedroom and can accentuate the areas of her body that she likes and distract from the areas that she may be shy about. Each and every woman has a different body frame and there are lingerie that can perfectly fit to them.

Remember, none of us look the same or are the same size, so what looks good one you probably wouldn't look good one me,...the key is to find what accuentates your curves and use it to your advantage ladies! There is a wide array of lingerie just waiting for women to choose the undergarment that suits them best. Many women who feel self conscious about themselves can feel better about their body and take advantage of wearing lingerie to accentuate and hide what they do and do not want a man to see. Sexy matching sets are great, but if  you feel like they are a bit too revealing, find a robe that will cover you that works with the design and color of the matching bra and panty set.These intimate apparels such as babydoll lingerie help them go out of their comfort zone…isn't it time that you step out of yours?

Dating Sites,...Good or Bad?

What is the scoop on dating sites? Are they good or are they bad? Can you trust these sites? Do they screen their members? Who sets the rules? Does everyone follow the rules, or are their rule breakers? All I hear about online and around my friends is "Are you going to the fish event, or you should sign up for POF (plenty of fish), you should get a sugar daddy, or meet the man of your dreams or get 6 months free"....what most people don't know is that I did try a dating site a few years back and met a nice guy who turned out to be married and deceiving and thought he had life by the balls  ...he was a resident in Michigan, but was working in Houston Texas, and... until I did a little digging only to learn that he was married and had two kids. He joined POF in Houston Texas, put up some old photos and said he was single. Why? Not sure, lonely, pathetic, or just wanted to score a piece of ass, unhappy marriage? What did this do to my emotions and well being? Well... I was crushed, mostly because I was so naive, and then I pondered the question...Why do men do this? Because they think that they can get away with it, or they have issues that can only be handled through therapy and counseling. Hey, listen, I'm not saying women don't do the exact same thing on websites such as this and a variety of others because they do. I don't want you to think that I am picking on one particular sex, because I am not. Both are guilty as charged.

Where am I going with this you ask? For years I have written about love and relationships. Recently I decided to check this out again so I rejoined under a new user name. I did this for a few reasons 1)out of mostly curiosity and 2) to see if the site made any changes?  I joined Plenty of Fish otherwise knows as POF to see what kind of men were on the site and what their motives were. Shocking enough, as surprised as I thought I would be, I was angered and disappointed to say the least which now leads me to the question...Who exactly is running the show there and why is it that some people can get away with posting smutty photos while others including the profile that I created posted a terrific bio and photos that were.... lets just say, me, but perhaps a little provocative to some. What happened? I was scolded. I received the ole "You picture was in violation of our site, bla bla bla..."

Listen, they are not provocative to me in the least. I find them alluring sure, but most of them to be appealing in good taste, sensual and sexy. Why? I own a lingerie shop and sexy and sensual is a confidence that women need like we need air. There is nothing wrong with provocative photos. I was there merely to get a look at what was going on with dating sites in general, and I chose them first because of all of the hype they get. Look at some of the women on POF and view their photos and their bios. In all honesty, what I saw...was flat-out and as plain as the nose on my face a stomping ground for whores looking for a quick fix. Ladies? well, actually I shouldn't call you ladies, but what are you thinking?

If you are going to sell yourself for sex, grow a brain and don't do it on a free site where men are not going to take you serious. How do I know this? So many men that befriended me on POF told me about the women and how quickly they wanted to meet up for sex only a few short hours after beginning conversation. Now I have heard everything...pimping yourself out on a FREE dating site. You know...There are sites to go to if you have the "package deal" that you can arrange a NSA kind of relationship where you both win and get allowances to do so. Are those sites discrete? You bet  they are, and they are NOT free. In fact they are quite costly, but well worth the price. Isn't your privacy worth a lot to you?

 When you join a site like POF and other sites for free and display yourself like a cold hearted tramp, you are making good normal women such as myself and so so many others look bad and we are now frowned upon ' no thanks' to you! I used myself as an example to show others, mostly my friends that I was right about many things on dating sites. Everything in my bio was true and 100% of who I am, and what I want from a man..no lies, no bending the truth..my age is my real age, my pictures are my pictures. I display a sincere and honest women...so where does that get you? Not far really. What was ever worse that how they tore my images apart almost on a daily basis were the other women and what they allow on this site. I mean, seriously is this a free dating site or a whore house gone public? Either someone doesn't know how to run the show there or they pick and choose who they want to get the attention to drum them up new business then cut that individual off practically at the knees when others complain that they are not getting noticed.

My photos were deleted of me showing my back in a sundress walking up a sand dune on a beach, but put my photo up in a red hot bikini top and it stayed for hours. In the first 30 minutes I had 87 emails and men trying to IM me for conversation. Were these men really interested in me or are they horn dogs? Who is behind all of this then, and why do my photos keep disappearing? Is it the jealous women who turn you in and click on the (if you don't see an image of the face, report here?) or the outraged men that send you obscene gestures and email notes expecting to get a rise out of you and when you either A) don't respond back, or B) delete them they get all pissy? Both,and or all of the above...is what I am guessing. Do dating sites use particular profiles as tools to better suit themselves? You bet they do.

How does a normal person succeed on a dating site when they only want to be themself?  What a sad world it has become when you judge a person by their photo and not their inner beauties. I''' tell you, I have a lot of friends who express their joys and sorrows regarding dating often and my heart aches for them because they'll make the best partner for someone but they don't want all the red tape to deal with either. I believe in fate, and paths crossing for reasons.

What is this doing to normal people like myself who is fully behind the dating scene and suggests to ALL of my friends to try a dating site? It's putting a bad taste in my mouth. Think about it, it's a free site, and my grandmother always did say that when it is free you get what you pay for. She also used to say "Michele, there are plenty of fish in the sea!" I don't know what sea she was referring to but the one sea of fish that I just recently joined for free is not at all what I anticipated, and wow, did I learn more than I ever anticipated.

1) People Lie to you, yes FLAT OUT LIE!
2) They lie about their looks, age, and how 'bout this shocker..their marital status!
3) They post pictures that are 10-20 yrs old. Good Lord,...why?
4) They don't know how to be genuine or honest.

Now, I am not at all saying that all men and women on that site act as such, BUT, we must be careful due to our ethics and especially or business practices, following, clients, vendors, and customer in my case, as well as what gets out via word of mouth. What are my thoughts? Your really don't want to know. I do know that people are going to  be petitioning congress and anyone else that will listen in the future to ask, no insist that companies like "Plenty of Fish" take more responsibility and step up to the plate to elevate these pain in the ass people on dating site who cannot be truthful,who are wronging all of us and tarnishing our good reputations. People go to these sites seeking possibly finding Mr/Ms Right. If you want a quick piece of ass, do yourself a big favor and go to the corner bar and pick someone up for a one night stand, don't ruin it for the good people who deserve true happiness.

I am, at the moment however, standing up for POF because they deserve that much from me, and out of respect for them in what they are trying to do; I say that this POF could be a highly potential phenomenal dating site ranked up in that top 10, but it will never get there if they continue to display the actions that they do and allow things to happen as such. No they are not babysitters, nor can they keep an eye on everyone, but there has to be something that can be enforced here to keep people on the straight and narrow? 1) like most other sites, there should be a 24-48 hour hold so that someone can check out your bio and approve the photos BEFORE they get posted. 2) set stricter policies, 3) ba allowed to delete without notice if you get too many complaints.

Actually for all the hype that I got on POF I wondered why they can complain about anything... when they aren't even ranked amongst the top 10 dating sites. Why? Well, look what happened to me, and you'll get your answers.

Who were the high ranking sites? Glad you asked?

1) Match.com
2) Eharmony
3) ZOOSK
4)Chemisty.com
5) SeniorPeopleMeet.com
6) SingleParentMeet.com
7) JDate.com (for Jewish people)
8) ChristianMingle.com
9) CatholicMatch.com
10)Matchmaker.com


 In closing, in no way whatsoever am I stating NOT to try a dating site, in fact, as I stated earlier, I am all for this form of dating, especially in a society today where we are too busy to meet a man/woman the old fashion way, although as old fashion as I still am, I do believe that my prince is right around the corner....he either took a wrong turn and got lost, or he isn't seeing the bigger picture and has not yet realized how badly he really does need a woman like me in his life. I just suggest that you are well guarded if you join a dating site online. Remember, you may just meet the man/woman of your dreams there! Just beware, there are freaks, and stalkers and worse. These people prey on us when we are weak, so be strong, and never, ever, ever give out personal information to anyone, especially your address. I'd love to hear your experiences with dating sites...so please share with me yours so that we can show so many readers/viewers that love is possible, and dating sites are and do really work! Your site you used may not be on the top 10, however, there are a ton of sites that have excellent reputations and are solid, far too many to list, but don't be afraid to mention your site so others can see it in my comments section. Please share with not only myself but with everyone.

© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie

mEn...STrOng as a MuLe aNd TwIcE aS StUbBorN...

Ladies, do you know a man, or are you interested in a man who repeatedly tries to push you away and gives you ludicrous reasons that really make no sense at all?  If so, this is the article for you to read. Maybe he's insecure, or just hurt from previous relationships? Our past has a way of often keeping us in our past no matter how hard we try to push forward. Here are some tips of things you can do to try to without him thinking that you're only trying to "woo" him and show him that you aren't like other women. Whether he wishes to drop his wall long enough to see you waiving the "white flag" is up to him. No amount of talking you can do will change him, so don't even try, it must come from within. Some men change their ways and some just appear to be destin to be a train wreck! He might be stubborn as a mule, but inside there is a good man who needs to be reminded that woman are not all evil.

Don't give up...but don't give in all that easily either. When you make yourself too attentive to his needs, you'll find sooner than later that it is "you" that is going to get the short end of the stick. Although I am in no way saying a relationship like this is not possible, I'm stating that if you meet a man like this sometimes the best thing to do is to let him go. Here are a few tips for you to read up on. Quite important, so take the time to read this;

Tip#1: Don't ever ever ever give a man more than he gives you. This is what I would call a LOSING BATTLE! Here's the 4-1-1; Love, and inspiring a man to fall in love with you forever, is all about you being able to receive love. Sure most of us only know how to give. We give for lots of reasons - because we're taught that's the way to get to a man's heart (it isn't) because we see other women do it, and because deep down, it feels uncomfortable and scary to be vulnerable enough to really get what love is actually? What do I mean by this? When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you. Knock that shit off. Make him come to you. He doesn't need a road map to your door, if he cares about you enough, he'll get there all by himself. He's a big boy.

Tip#2: Do NOT give away exclusivity if he hasn't yet committed... Mama didn't raise no FOOL!
Here's how it works ladies, and this is in all reality...We become totally, emotionally invested in a man when we're exclusive with him because he has all our time and attention. There's no way we can stop wondering about where the relationship is going? Right?  But the more we think about it and talk about it, the more we push a man away. In this case, we are damned if we do, and damned if we don't. It's like that Katy Perry song, "Hot & Cold" they (and when I say they, I am referring to "MEN") don't know what the hell they want. Grow up boys! Nice women like us are really hard to come by, so if you're looking for a way to really throw a monkey wrench in this it's working! The problem with most men is that they let the wrong people into their lives, and then they tend to push the "right" people out, this including potential lovers or mates. Why? They are afraid to get hurt, again?

When you can think of it in these terms, it's easier to keep your options open and keep your personal power in the relationship. Rather than talking about the relationship or threatening him with ultimatums, which you NEVER EVER EVER want to do....you can continue to keep your options open by dating other men. This way, you keep your class, your power, your boundaries, and he has to work to get you, as he very well should, especially if he is acting like a jerk.

Tip#3: Don't go out of your way, if he is acting weird and distant!
Yes, this sounds unfair, and yet, who pays is often the difference in his mind between friends hanging out together and a “date.” If you can dish it out he'll take it...but what about when they tables are turned? Perhaps he feels threatened or insecure? Is that your problem? How can you help him if he won't let you? Why do men shut women out? Overfunctioning is doing more than your fair share and stepping up to rescue a man because you know you can do a better job. It's arriving from your masculine energy. It feels aggressive and forward to a man. And it's totally unattractive to him. Men just don't operate on the same juice that women do. They are not built with the same type of defensive mechanism we are, theres is far worse!

Tip#4 Make him apologize! No If's and's or But's about it!
I'm sorry guys but there is no excuse for your childish behavior, and this is exactly what it is, you acting like an immature little boy....especially when a woman is seriously trying to do all that she can to get to know you. We all have a wall built up around us that we don't wish to talk about, we've all experienced some sort of pain at least once in our life, but isn't part of getting to know someone sharing with them intimate details of your life that make you feel vulnerable? Is this easy to do? Hell no it's not. Do you really want to chase the right woman away because you think she'll only turn out to be like all of the other "wrong" ones? Nahhh, it's time to suck it up and realize that you are being an ass and treating a woman with much disrespect. Yes men can be pig-headed and stubborn, so can we...I am the first to admit it, but I am also the first to admit when I am wrong and say "I'm Sorry!" Rome wasn't built over night, relationships aren't easy...if there were we'd all be in one right now, wouldn't we?

Alas, enough of the cold shoulder. I still don't know what I was waiting for...and my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets, every time I thought I'd got it made, it seemed the taste was not so sweet, so I turned myself to face me, but I've never caught a glimpse.... time may change me....but I can't trace time.

Well spoken lyrics from David Bowie, for those men who feel that they have been running in circles, that they don't deserve true love, and I mean real true love, not some puppy love or a controlled type of love, but "physical real love" I say to you what I have said to my readers and I will preach to you what my grandmother used to always preach to me; God puts certain people in our lives for a reason, you may not know who, or why it is that they are coming your way, but try to accept it, even if it's only meant to be as a friendship. We know how head strong a man can be, I'm just saying...try.

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The Proper Dating Etiquette Tips

Did you ever wonder what is the right and wrong way to do things in a relationship, or even for going on a date? Proper dating etiquette can make or break a good healthy relationship if you don't know how to "play the game." Just what is proper dating etiquette anyway? Are there still etiquette rules that couples must follow? That seems to be the big question these days... Actually, there are several unspoken etiquette rules that you should consider. Whether you are just entering the dating scene, or you just need a refresher course on what is considered proper in regards to dating..who blames who, who is right and who is wrong. Whose fault is it? This behavior might be in business relationships, social functions, and, yes, even in courtship. Of course, today many of those rules are non-existent, but a few still linger, although they may have been changed somewhat.

Proper Dating Etiquette

Today, proper dating etiquette typically involves three main words: kindness, consideration, and again...communication! Above all, a date between two people should involve all three of these. If so, other etiquette details tend to work themselves out. While the earlier decades of the twentieth century might have dictated that a man open the door for a woman, pay for the date, and do all the driving, this no longer always holds true.
In some areas of the country, region may dictate behavior. Customs are often handed down from one generation to the next. If a man was taught to open the door for his mother, then most likely he'll open the door for his date. However, if two people from different cultures collide, communication is the key to a successful relationship. For example, if you are an independent woman who believes that you and your date should split the bill, then say so, and explain why you feel this way. If you are the man DO NOT let the woman split the bill. You're being tested. Fail and you fail miserably! You won't need to worry about etiquette for dating...you'll be looking for a new partner!

Playing the Game

No matter how you look at it, just as there are rules in virtually any game that is played, the dating game involves rules as well. Many of these are actually things you shouldn't do, however. The following is a list of some common do's and don'ts.

• Don't be late. It's rude to keep anyone waiting, including your date!
• Be respectful of your date if you smoke. Of course you shouldn't hide the fact that you smoke either, as this may be a defining moment in your relationship's future. Just don't force your date to experience second-hand smoke.
• Don't be rude. No matter what type of day you've had, be polite to your date, whether this is your first date or your eighty-first date.
• Don't jump past first base to third. You get what I'm saying. Unless you've already established a relationship with your sweetie, don't become all hands as she or he fights you off!
• Do ask his or her opinion. Don't act as if the date is all about what ''you want to do''.
• Do pay for the meal, movie, event, etc. This holds true if you invited the other person, regardless of your gender, unless you have an understanding between the two of you.
• Do consider your attire. This doesn't mean you have to blow your savings on a designer suit. However, consideration involves not openly trying to embarrass the person whom you are with. Anyone can put on a clean shirt and pressed pants.
• Don't cheat. What I mean is, don't play the field if your girlfriend or boyfriend thinks the two of you are in a monogamous relationship. While it is perfectly okay to see more than one person, be sure that both parties understand and agree to this arrangement!
• Finally, don't battle for control. If you have to be the alpha-dog, try not to be so obvious about it! Dating should be a two way street!

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Love? Reality or Fantasy

Do you believe in today's society that real true love exists? I used to imagine it being like something out of a fairy tale novel and that it was like a dream...some will tell you that finding one true love would never happen, and then I watched several of my friends find love almost out of nowhere, some on their own, but some nonetheless with the help http://www.match.com/ and http://www.eharmony.com/ and then I began to see the big picture. Huey Lewis and the News once sang it best; "Do You Believe In Love"

Most might say that exists only in the movies, I totally disagree. Life is not a page out of Princess Bride or The Proposal, I know that. Isn’t it completely normal for the people we live with – be it our siblings, parents, spouses or roommates – to have annoying habits that occasionally drive us up the wall? Is it reasonable to expect that life should be like a fairy tale where everyone lives in harmony happily ever after?

Statistics on rising divorce rates clearly indicate that such a thing does not exist. In the other extreme, disposable relationships are also disconcerting. This dichotomy of existence, between fantasy and reality, of the definition of love and what is expected of a relationship, that has created a myriad of social ills such as divorce, fear of commitment, temporary relationships and the believe that one can “always do better” and why settle for anything less.

For most people, having contemplated the thought that there may be other definitions of these two harmless sounding words which together have a power greater than their individual meanings.

The answers to the definition of true love can be as varied as there are waves in the ocean. 

 A random sampling of answers to the question of “What is true love?” yielded the following:

True love is when you put your partner’s interests above your own. It is when you will do anything to see them happy, even things that may go against what you believe. It is called sacrifice and true love is nothing without it. To me, true love is something that is hard to explain. Sometimes people think that it is there. Some people know that it is there…

True love is the conviction to forgive the one whom you love unconditionally.When you’re away from her you think of her. When you’re with her you want to please her. When you laugh or cry you want to do it with her. True love is when two people know each other’s imperfections, limitations, shortcomings, and flaws, and in spite of that they accept without hesitation and without hope for a change. Do anything but without EXPECTATIONS !!! True love seems to be unconditional love, acceptance and sacrifice. It also seems to be obsessive, co-dependent and indefinable.

As children, fairy tales are necessary to help us acclimate to adult ideas, therefore the depictions of true love and happy endings help us learn about the themes of good and evil, of marriage and long term commitments. But now that we are adults, it is time to dispose of the childish notion of “happily ever after” and accept that life is a journey and the loving relationships in them make for a richer experience. There will be times when a spouse’s inability to throw the Hostess Ho-Ho wrapper away is too difficult..why not just leave it the on the counter, she'll pick it up....or they neglect to put dirty socks in the hamper that is six inches away...that's about the time you want to tell him to take a long walk off a very short pier....but love is love, and it doesn’t stop them from being the people we love.

Ultimately true love is about respect for another, cherishing their individuality, supporting their efforts, applauding their achievements, caring for their wounds while they heal and allowing room for them to grow into better human beings. Hey...this takes a very long time. I think that we can have the best of both worlds, a little fantasy never hurt anyone, and if you spice your romance up with http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/ or http://www.simplylusciouslingerie.com/  soon to arrive for plus size women, you will enjoy that fantasy of romance that you and your spouse/partner/lover can step into from time to time, outside of the real world of reality and indulge in fantasy.

Close your eyes, and envison your prince and your castle...it's there...never give up the dream. Your prince might just come in a different form...they don't have to be in a suit made of shining armor and ride up on a horse...he can be in a pair of khakis and a polo, or in jeans, chaps and on a Harley! My grandmother once told me that love will come into your life in a variety of forms and that when you find the one that you are to be with, strange as it may seem, often things just happen. Timing is everything... he is out there....and he will be the man who wins your heart.

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What is a Sugar Daddy?

What is a Sugar Daddy.....why do so many women feel the need to have one, and why do men want to be them? A sugar daddy is a man who wants the best of both worlds in a nut shell. He wants to feel like he has something no one else has, a particular style of woman and a trophy to call his own. She has to be classy, sexy, sensual, erotic and giving freely of herself and in exchange he takes her to exotic places, the finest restaurants and surprises her with gifts when she least expects it (but really...we do expect it!) 

Men  have very high stakes in elite and exclusive sugar daddy sites, they know what they want and how they want it....they thrive on it,....sad to say that some of these so called sugar daddies live in a dream world....this isn't umpa lumpa land, but everything sure as hell is sugar coated! In the end, not only did I get a lot of information from these men, some quite pathetic, nonetheless, not all. Most people want to know.....what, why, when and how these SD's operate.... what benefits do they wish for?  have the answers, I've had my own sugardaddies, and a few are stll my close friends, one actually is a business partner in our own elite and exclusive dating site to be launched in the future. There are various reasons why a woman seeks a SD. Most think they will give a little and get a lot. Come on ladies, they are men, not walking ATM Machines....be nice here....I always believed that if a man was a "true" SD type, a woman need not ask for anything, if he was a good man, he would take care of you and your needs. Show him respect. You have to give a little to get a little., and I don't mean sex. Trust me when I say; Integrity goes a long way. (you might want to make a note of that to those of you who think money grows on trees and you can take take take..., wake up sister...you are a dime a dozen and so easily relplaced!) He'll take care of you and he will respect you, why? He wants to get to know "you!" .....not becuase he has to, but because he wants to! Need advice? Ask away.....I've got the answers!

Women have had sugar daddies, plenty of them,....so let me share with you what I've learned; They aren't looking for a marriage proposal, we just want a few good dates here and there, nice meals, and to be spoiled and pampered...Kayne West sings it best,.....Gold Digger! She take my money, well I'm in need.....Yeah she's a triflin' friend indeed......Oh she's a gold digger way over time ......That digs on me!!! However, we aren't gold diggers, we just laid our cards on the table and told them what we wanted up front just as they told us what they were looking for. People will call woman gold diggers in the real world because these woman don't know how to play the game. This is one game you want to research way before signing up for one of or any of these sites.....beware of wrong-do'ers and scammers...they're out there and there are LOTS of them! There are good sites and bad sites. Read comments from others and research as much as you can. I think that it is important to do heavy screening, income verification, and background checks,...if a man goes to these lengths to join a site so elite, then chances are that he is putting his money where his mouth is.
Some of these men — especially those shopping for women half their age — are digging deep into their pockets to pay for an illusion: that despite their receding hairlines and wattled skin, the raspy voices, and a lot of Viagra....they’re still enchanting enough to charm pretty young women…. Men may use money as a way to buy themselves out of the normal obligations of romance, like accommodating a woman’s emotional needs as much as their own. But despite the power and security that the money buys, it can also undercut the very ego it’s intended to boost. Men need fed with compliments and if they have the attitudes that most sugar daddies I know, need to go after the younger woman because they'll put up with all the BS and us older gals that have been around the block a few times,..... forget that! I don't know how to put it any better than this; having a sugar daddy means that you are their "dirty little secret." Why do woman want sugar daddies? Most circumstances are because they have all of the advantages of the true perks, vacations, cars, toys, shopping sprees and spas, etc., but don't have to ever commit...in fact many women have more than one SD at a time, and what can he say? Absolutely NOTHING....he doesn't own you theoretically speaking....and he should know the rules going into this. Some of us enjoy the nice things because we don't want a commitment, or we are set in our ways, too independent and don't want the added stress or hassle of a true relationship. Nothing wrong with that at all.

I'm not at all saying being a younger woman and having an older sugar daddy is a bad thing, and not all younger woman are naive. My suggestion to you is, before you sign up for one of these fly by night dating sights with all the bells and whistles, make sure that the men that are on that site truly are the bells and whistles first. Word of advice, most sites don't screen men or woman for that matter (women can be the Sugar Mama, where they look for a stud to spoil) and anyone who says that they have $$ can go to this site and create a web of deceit. Here's a tip for you....if a man says he makes a ton of money but has to dig through his wallet for his gold rewards card to cash in his bonus points for the La Quinta Hotel.....Hello...RED FLAG! Good God honey, call a cab and leave.....and if you stay with him on this wonder picturesque romantic weekend and you were hoping for a 5 star restaurant.....forget it sweetheart! The only good meal you'll be eating is the one that they serve everyone in the hotel lobby called the "continental breakfast!" If a man says he has a fortune and speaks of classy restaurants and then takes you to one only to make you "split" the meal with him, this should be a warning signal too, in that case, you owe it to yourself to pay back the favor of wasting "your" time.....my advice, (and yes it does work because I have done it!) order 5 meals just for you... plus a fabulous dessert or 3 to go.....Oh you can be assured that you'll never see him again, but at least you and your kids will eat a good left over meal on his dime!

Cheap men want what rich men have, they just have NO idea how to get it! They are the wanna be sugar daddies, where they live in the land of talk is cheap. I say if you're going to "Talk the Talk" your ass better be prepared to "Walk the Walk" Most go to considerable effort to distinguish between “sugar” and prostitution. (Legally, at least, they are right; since the 1970s, courts have ruled that as long as the woman is paid for some service besides sex — housecleaning, companionship — the arrangement is not the equivalent of prostitution.) They say being a sugar baby is no more an occupation than dating is, especially when the goal of dating is to find a rich boyfriend or a wealthy husband. I say, beware of phony sugar daddies.....they are out there and the get off on telling their friends that they found their hot mama on a SD site. One of the things that I "do" like about these sites is that you most often "do" get what you pay for...if the site is free, the talk is going to be cheap...if a man has to pay $50 or more and generally it is a lot more, to be on a site such as this, cut him some slack....what's the worst that can happen?

Listen,  if he turns out to be a complete dick and you just want more.....or just can't handle this style of living any longer....walk away with a bag full of Jimmy Choos, Dior, and Chanel...lets not forget Tiffany & Co., say thank you and tell him that you appreciated him and wish him well.There are really good men out there looking to care for a woman and enjoy his time with. Just don't let him totally control your time...if he thinks money talks and is possessive, think hard about getting into a business relationship with this person. If a man really is a SD he won't spare the expenses if he thinks you are worth it. Remember, you do not have to have sex with these men, that is not part of the arrangement. Most men will want it though, and in that case you have to determine if your integrity is worth that of a wrinkled up wanna be type of man who has gone to great lengths to "buy" a younger woman to raise his self esteem....Some men have sugar babies for years and years....these are to boys that know how to roll and do it right....just beware of the fly by nights that proclaim to have it all when in fact, they probably are living from credit card to credit card with not so good credit.....in a fantasy world where these women look and treat them better than their wives do now and to them, this is all worth it! Just so that we are clear,....

DO NOT threaten a SD with blackmail. NO NO NO....shame on you. Some women do this...I think it is wrong. Ladies, if you've done this, don't do it again. Grow up, and act like an adult. A SD is just that. He is not your spouse and you have NO authority or control over him. You are the other woman! Deal wth it.

I do respect Sugar Daddies, .....why? They may be cheaters, or ruthless in some women's eyes, those women scorned by them, BUT they are honest...they do lay all cards on the table, ...so listen closely ladies.....

I have made friends with several of these men, in fact, they come to me for "women" advice. Why? I am a woman with who is sassy, sensual and have class, and I do know the ropes first hand. In a sense, I watch over many of these men, took them under my wing, and gave them the tools that they needed to find a wonderful, caring, loving, hotsie-totsie sugar baby that is in this sort of relationship for the same reasons. I did this because I believe that regardless of all the various situations, we all enjoy being with someone, but finding the right fit is just as vital. Having a sugar daddy does have its advantages....consider all of your options, and remember, sugar daddies are like bus stops, it appears these days that there is one on every corner, so take your "potential" for a test drive, you have to approve of him as much as he is looking to give you approval...if you don't like what you see, ......get off at the next stop as there are plenty more waiting for the right woman and the golden opportunity to flash their cash and show you a new world that most women only dream of.....

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