Dating Sites and looking for L-O-V-E or L-U-S-T?

Dating sites seem to be the route to take these days to finding love, and there are plenty of them out there to choose from…but what it if you don't desire love, rather lust? What if you aren't looking for the husband, kids and white picket fence? What if marriage was not an option? What if a past relationship went south and you just weren't cut out for more heartache? What if you don't want the whole enchilada that goes along with commitment or marital bliss? What if you are just seeking a lover, a NSA kind of guy? What if you just want a 'boy toy' if you will? Someone to give you an exclusive membership to their very own pleasure ride in the sky...their personal 'mile high club?' A man who you don’t want to be married to rather just share your private and alone time with a few times a month on intimate dinners, weekend getaways and travel, then you go your separate ways until your next encounter or get together? You might just find a certain kind of desired love and lust with this that brings you both together even stronger with every new rendezvous. Yes...sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too! 

When I think about meeting a man and dating him, or being his lover, I think about two people, at first strangers coming together to form a certain sense of harmony and really connecting on a variety of levels. When I think about a relationship whether it be long term or short term, the questions is not how long will it last rather, how good do these two people mesh together each time the unite? It takes two special people coming together and feeling a connection, first via emails, texts, and the phone and then in person. Many things go into this to make all the good things unfold, but oh if you plan this out and together make goals and commitments of some sort it will all fall into place and it very well can be a win/win for both of you. What is this you ponder? It’s called synchronicity.

Need me to spell it out for you? It is the phenomenon of meaningful things happening together in such a way that they are creatively linked, although one thing did not cause the other. It is as if there is a pattern to the events that is showing you that you are going in the right direction...and the right direction is always good. When you put forth effort and enthusiasm, it shows you are genuine and sincere. You're not playing games, you're both adults and deserve to be treated as such. 

So many things go into the full equation of asking; “Is he really the one that will make me happy?” or “Is he going to be discreet and respect me?” If he is the right guy for you, then getting together should be like a walk in the park. Don’t sweat the small stuff…that’s what I tell my friends. Making a connection with someone is not easy at all, in fact when you meet on line it can be even more difficult because you’ve viewed a profile and determined that you like or dislike him or her. If you do like them you proceed to get to know more about them because there is some sort of an attraction and there is so much more to an individual than simply their profile alone. As long as you are completely honest and have excellent communication skills all will be fine, not to worry. Just be YOU! You will find everything falling into place as if it was 'meant to be'. If there are obstacles now and then, they will be overcome; generally, your path will be smooth because you both went into this type of relationship with the same expectations not only as friends, but lovers. 

Not every chance encounter is magical. There may be some negative affects to meeting someone; sometimes you may meet the right person at the wrong time. Synchronicity is not there and if you try to force a relationship to happen, it will hit a brick wall, and ouch, you don’t want that! My strong non-professional advice would then be that should this happen to you; you’d better to let him go. If he is your Mr. Right, he will come back into your life again later, when it is the right time for both of you. I always say ‘don’t push fate’ it has to happen on its own. 

You may be looking for weeks or months for someone special and not find him, then one day you may be getting ready to close out a membership for a dating site and see a message from someone and decide to read it…it very well could be that one message that caught your eye was all that it took to produce a wonderful new friendship and passion in your life. Erotic and exotic fun may have just hit a new level. As Alanis Morissette once sang Isn't it "Ironic" don't ya think? Ironic that a cosmic connection such as this may just be explosive and then you can really kiss the dating sites goodbye!

Chemistry, Love and Relationships...

So you meet this guy, and there is chemistry, lots and lots of chemistry...and you spend one incredible evening together. A few months go by and you connect again, and he wants to see you. You send him something as little as an email saying 'hi' or a text message and then you wait. You wait to see if he responds or he doesn't. If he doesn't then you know that you can chalk it it to a wonderful memory and move on. It has been said that men have certain innate needs that must first be met before they truly feel connected to you. Have you ever wondered how much of love is really and truly about the heart and how much is just about the good ole' hormones? Does real love really even exist anymore or is it something that hopeless romantics conjured up? What about this chemistry? Can you physically or mentally create it, or does it just happen?

Men have this certain image of what they want in a woman. He creates the illusion of a dream girl so to speak. Men adore the type of woman who is inspiring...it makes them want to be with her. She gets in touch with her most inner feminine side and finds just what buttons to push on his manhood scale that may just drive him nuts. She is the woman who even if he is not thinking about her all the time, he does subconsciously and it triggers something within to make him think about her. She is oh so playful, fun, and yet she has boundaries and does not badger or nag to get what she needs out of a relationship. She knows her true value and she wears confidence on her sleeve right next to hear heart. She doesn't settle for men who treat her badly or keep her guessing.

 Often, we push men away. Remember the movie the "Runaway Bride?" Why do women do this? Ahhh yes the million dollar question....Why? We operate out of fear. Fear that we will some how lose our man if we can't please him. Some women over analyze things and that is never good. Some woman often put her friends on hold for her man. I know you know or have been this woman at one time or another. Women often spend so much time doing things for the man and then there is no returning the favor. It can become a terrible cycle. She does more and more over and over again to please him and he does nothing to meet her in the middle. Here's the thing that you may not know ladies; every time you bend for him and do more and more for him and put your needs aside you are becoming his 'yes' girl. You are now setting yourself up for being taken for granted by this man and this is a big NO NO! 

What you want to do is to inspire him to want to be that same type of man for you! Men generally love making their woman happy...it's a rule of thumb for them that they stand by...when they find the right woman that makes them weak at the knees and soft in the heart. Here's a secret; men what to win the heart of a woman...but if it comes too easy, they may quickly lose interest or even pull away. What's a girl to do? Resist! Yes, that's right...resist him every now and again. This will make him work harder. DO NOT jump through hoops for a man. 

 Want to turn up the heat and really get this sizzling? Try doing romantic things for him. Men love the thrill of surprise. It's the unknown that they fantasize over and if you do something that they adore, they will have the moment of sheer fantasy locked within their mind so that when they go to sleep at night they replay it in their head over and over and over. What do you do to surprise him and show him the sensual you?  Pull out the stops ladies...show him that you can keep it real and kick it up a notch. Show him that fun and playful side,...you know, the one that he is going to remember longgg after he pulls out of your driveway after a fabulous sleepover. 

Suggestion? Trench coat, thigh highs and garters....that's it, nothing else. Need I say more? Tease him with seduction slowly...and make him ponder what you really have on underneath that coat.  It is alluring, enticing and get's their heart racing! My guess is that it will probably drive him absolutely crazy with desire for you. It also doesn't hurt to be a bad girl in the bedroom every now and again. It's all about teasing, and pleasing. Give them a taste...but never over do it. You want to give them a reason to come back.

 Truth is; men fall in love with your absence, not your presence. When they think about you, their imagination wonders...all in a good way. It's ok to resist him. If you have plans with family or friends, don't cancel just to be with him...apologize and tell him 'perhaps another night?' This form of resistance builds up the attraction more for the man. The bottom line is this; if you do not offer resistance, you are not at all a challenge, and girlfriend...men LOVE a challenge! Men want to fall in love, but they have to do it at their own pace and in their own way. 

So, how do you know if he is falling for you? You don't it just happens...and when it does you'll know and he will not be afraid to tell you how he has felt after all this time. Love is a happy experience, but love doesn't come about over night. It takes time and it grows. Physical appearance is paramount to many men, but certainly not at all the 'make or break a deal' kind of thing....however... that first kind of attraction you have together tells a lot about if you have what it takes to create something solid. Men are truthfully infatuated by women and if they want to get to know more about her, they will begin their pursuit. Want my non-professional advice? Love is not a race...you are not running a marathon, so darlin' give it time! Give them time to flirt, and then reciprocate to his advances. Take baby steps because you don't want to push him away!

How Does Mr. Nice Guy Get the Girl?

So, how does 'Mister Nice Guy' find the woman of his dreams?  You don’t have to be a jerk, a player or a bad boy to get the girl, but generally women tend to turn to the 'bad boy' image type men. If this sounds like you...this is something that you are going to want to read. Ladies, there are great guys out there just waiting for that one opportunity to meet you and get to know you. Chances are, if you would just give the underdog a chance, you might be surprised as to what a wonderful man this might be.  You might need to learn some things along the way though. What you need to know right now is that there are nice, beautiful, fun-loving, sexy, intelligent, exciting women out there that are perfect for you, so guys...don't give up.

These women are looking for a good man. Someone who has a grip on reality and knows how to handle himself - that’s important to a woman. If your love life has been less-than-stellar lately, that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. If you’re getting the wrong kind of dates or no dates at all, let’s do something about that! You can take action and take control of the situation, and that doesn’t mean that you have to turn into a jerk to do it. Maybe you’re getting back into the dating scene. You’ve recently ended a long-term relationship. Maybe you’re gun-shy. That’s okay. But you can’t stay away from dating forever – not if you want a good, healthy relationship with a great person.

Whatever your situation, you’re going to get back on track. You can learn to incorporate some of those bad boy traits into your own personality without becoming a complete jackass and compromising your beliefs.

You want to do this because women like to be surprised and a taste of the unexpected is fun – as long as you know how to do it...if you don't it could very well back fired on you. Bad boys aren’t afraid to take risks. Maybe it’s because they have no conscience, but for you, it’ll be because you learn how to step outside of your comfort zone and go about dating from a new perspective. Once you meet the women you want, you’ll begin developing great dating relationships. You don’t have to have deep pockets, be a black belt, or a have a PhD. You need to learn to use your own uniquely great qualities, and you need to develop confidence in yourself as a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it.

Waiting for the perfect woman to appear at your doorstep is an ineffective way to get a date, much less find your life partner. So is going the player route. You can learn the right way to get what you want while preserving your sense of self. Now that’s valuable information fellas! Whether you meet your mate at work, at the mall, at happy hour with friends, or at the grocery store, just be yourself,  remember to smile and don't be afraid to take a chance!

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