Dating, Relationships and Cheaters

Cheating...None of like to assume it happens, nor do we anticipate it ever happening to us, but it can and sometimes it does. At some point or another, we all have that one bothersome thought or two that crosses out minds...is my partner cheating? My guess is that you're likely to experience trust issues in your relationship. Why? We are all a little insecure at times. The thing is, whether or not we are secure with who we are has absolutely nothing to do with how honest mate is acting. It does make it a bit difficult when statistics say that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. If you have suspicious, warnings or signals of infidelity by your spouse or partner, listen to your gut.

Whether it's brought about by infidelity, a decrease in your own self esteem, your partner's newly hired young assistant, someone constantly flirting with them, or a simple change in your partner's behavior, your relationship can weather this storm and rise above feelings of uncertainty. You have to first of all believe that you can get through everything!

Follow these tips as we walk you through the trust issues you may face

This will assist you in experiencing the thriving relationship that you truly deserve:

1. Work on your self-esteem. Many trust issues in relationships that were once thriving stem from personal insecurities. If you've experienced significant changes in your appearance or noticed a drop in your self-esteem, it's important to build up your body image and self worth in order to rebuild the trust in your relationship. You must feel confident in who you are or you sure as heck won't be able to have faith in someone else.

• It's common to become suspicious of the company that your significant other is keeping when your self-esteem plummets.  Many times, we are not given the opportunity to understand much less process what to do or how to react if and when we learn of infidelity in your relationship.Sometimes, you have to have some faith and give your partner the benefit of the doubt. The way you perceive yourself may be the only thing in your relationship that has changed.

2. Reflect on your past. Did something happen in your childhood that has caused you to become wary of trusting your heart to anyone? Did your parents choose to divorce when you were young? Were you sexually abused in the past? Or did you experience cheating in a past relationship/marriage?

• These things and more can be responsible for your inability to trust others. When you've endured emotional trauma, especially during your youth, its effects can last decades. Speak to a therapist to help you find the root of the issue and learn how to work past the event.

3. Talk about your problems and issues with trust... and WHY you have these issues; 

 If there has been infidelity within your relationship, it's vital to hash out all hurt feelings and future expectations.

• If you've cheated in the past or in an other relationship that you were in with someone else, it's normal for your partner to want to know where you are, what you're doing, and what time you'll be home. They'll ask if you'll be alone with anyone. Answer their questions truthfully and understand that they are hurting. Try to put yourself in their shoes? You might see things a bit differently.

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

That's what most people think, and if you've ever been cheated on, I can guess that is why you would feel as such. When most people get caught cheating, they make promises and vows to never cheat again. Sound familiar? Unfortunately, such promises often get broken. The desire to cheat is complicated and it is not solved by feeling sorry or by making promises to change. If you want to change any behavior, you must first determine why that behavior occurred. So, when it comes to infidelity and cheating, what factors led the person to cheat? Was it too much opportunity, was it due to problems in their relationships, was it due to a need for excitement? Did your appearance change? Did you gain weight? Are you a workaholic, or an alcoholic? What caused this? This is the million dollar question.

 Dating and Relationships are good. Not everyone cheats, or lies. Talk to your partner if there is tension, or distrust. If you feel like something is going on, speak up. Trust is about more than believing that your partner will remain faithful. It's about trusting that your partner will always be there for you in times of need, while also being a prominent part of the most important events in your life. Work on your trust as romantic partners - and as best friends - to truly guarantee a long healthy future and a happy ever after.You can get past this.

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Is My Partner/Spouse Cheating?

It is a sad truth but there are times in our relationships and even during our marriages where we begin to wonder "if" something is going on because his/her life and whereabouts just aren't adding up and something is beginning to smell real fishy! Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. Please note that this is only a list and it is not accusing anyone of being the deceiver in a relationship...nonetheless, it does make it a bit questionable when a lot of these topics listed below start adding up and making more and more sense.

Signs of a Cheating Spouse:

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days, went to an all day spa, or got need to drive around and just 'think.'

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner again with you.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

43) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

44) He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

45) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

Cheating on your partner is like injecting a drug with a dirty needle, yeah, really, it is.... even if the drug is a good medicine for you, the delivery mechanism is a problem onto itself.
It exasperates me that these discussions rarely consider any alternative to cheating. What's even more sad is that they (the cheater) get so good at it that often it happens right under your nose.

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WhY wOmEn CheAT?

As a divorced woman myself, I still ask so many times why do people cheat? In this article please note (ladies) that I am not picking on you, this article is about why women cheat. I have a part 2 that asks "Why do men cheat?" First things first...Whenever people choose to cheat on their partners, there is usually some specific reason that led to the decision to seek physical comfort outside the relationship. In the case of married women who cheat, there are several common reasons why they choose to step out on their husbands.

Here are a few examples. Perhaps the most common reasons why a woman would choose to cheat on her spouse has to do with a lack of attention. When the husband is emotionally cold or distant, or spends most of his time at work, yes the old' workaholic, the wife may become frustrated that she does not seem to be of any importance. Guys if this sounds like you, it's time to make some changes, otherwise you may be in for some bigger problems on the home front. In order to obtain what she needs to feel wanted, she may choose to begin an affair. Even if the affair is purely physical, she has the full attention of a man for at least the amount of time they are together.

In some instances, the woman may find that her libido is not in sync with that of her husband. The end result is that she is left without an outlet for physical gratification. As a means of filling in the gap, she may take on a lover who can offer her physical companionship when her husband is not in the mood. When health issues prevent the husband from being physically responsive to the sexual needs of his wife, the situation can be very touchy. This is very different from a husband who is capable of engaging in sexual activity with his wife, but chooses to not do so. In this scenario, married women who cheat may see this as the only way to get through the crisis and remain supportive of her husband while he deals with health issues. Last, married women who choose to cheat may do so because they have no physical interest in their husbands. My next topic may strike a nerve....
Who do women who seem to have everything cheat? The answer is easy, because they are in the constant search for perfection, because they know that there must be something better than what they already have and so they start searching for it. Most probably they will not find it, or end up finding something worse than what they already have. In this case they will feel bad and realize they did a mistake by doing this, and if they are lucky enough, this hidden escapade will be their secret forever.
There is another reason for the question: Why do women cheat? – And most definitely we all encountered this phenomenon. Boredom appears in the couple after a certain amount of time; the woman wishes to experiment something new and is not ready to transmit this to her partner. She has the feeling that her partner might think she is depraved if her wishes to experiment are eccentric. This is what leads to another mistake; they will try that new thing with a new partner, which they do not know well enough. Again, in this case, the woman will come back to her home, with a well kept secret.
The attraction may have been more along the lines of a secure financial future or a prominent place in local society. When this is the case, the woman may discreetly take on a lover who does excite her physically, while still fulfilling her other roles in the marriage. While there are many different reasons that motivate married women who cheat, the bottom line is that cheating carries a great deal of risk. Lives can be changed forever, reputations can be ruined, and friends and family may suffer if the cheating comes to light. If you are thinking of cheating for any reason, think twice. While the activity may provide some temporary pleasure, the benefits rarely outweigh the liabilities.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com