He Loves Me,..He Loves Me Not

OK, relationships are not easy, and they take practice, lots of it! So you think that  you have met that special guy and now you're wondering how to make him fall in love with you? Girlfriend pleaseeee, it rarely happens over night, and  while there is (unfortunately) no super magic potion that you can whip up to put him under your spell, the good news is that there is a lot you can do to get and keep his interest. First of all be confident with who YOU are! It means taking the time to love yourself first and foremost, then loving someone else will be a walk in the park as they say!

First, Be Yourself ...

Most men are very independent minded creatures and like to make up their own mind about everything. They do not want you to tell them what to do and they do not like to feel they are being led or tricked into liking or disliking something. So there is no point doing things that are not natural to you, to try to please them. For example, if you hate football, do not pretend to like it just because he is a huge fan. He will know you don't really care, no matter how much work you do learning the names of all the players. He will just think you are trying to deceive or trap him, and he'll take off so fast that you'll never see him again.

... And Love Yourself

Be yourself but do not put yourself down. No Negative Nancy all right?  Many people do this, usually to reassure others that we are not a threat, but people will often take you at your own valuation and it can make them think you are boring. Ask your friends for advice here, or record yourself talking. Do you tend to make yourself look small and uninteresting? If you do, you need to get yourself out of this habit. Try to be aware and think before you speak.Look after yourself physically. Take exercise and try to eat well. This will make you feel better about yourself, plus you will develop a glow that is naturally healthy and attractive. Love yourself and he is much more likely to love you.

Be Interesting

The best way to be an interesting person is to do interesting things. Have a life. Do not spend every evening waiting for the phone to ring or watching movies on TV. Go to an evening class, meet people, take up a sport you used to like in school. Be careful not to criticize others, too.

Admire Him

We generally always tend to like the people who like us, so it is fine to let him know that you like him ... as a friend. However, if you have fallen in love at first sight it may be best to keep that to yourself. Let him be the first to say 'I love you'. Most men love to be admired. They may run a mile if you try to cling to them, but they will do almost anything for someone who admires them and believes in them without making any demands.So while it is better to keep your undying love to yourself, at least at the beginning, it is fine to tell him openly that you admire something he does. Any sentence that starts with 'I really admire the way you ...' is a winner because we all know how much men love getting their egos stroked.

If after all of this, you ask yourself, does he love me, or love me not? Maybe he does, and maybe he doesn't. Listen, Rome wasn't built overnight, and if you try to rush a relationship, you'll fail. Take the time to really get to know someone and implement the tools above to help him along the way.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

The Language of LOVE....

The 3 words that everyone longs to hear "I LOVE YOU" is the language of love around the globe. Love is love, no 'If's and's or but's about it!' It’s been said that couples can finish each other’s sentences after they’ve been in love for a long time, but maybe it was their similar way of speaking that brought them together from the start. In the latest  research, it  shows that we are attracted to people who use language comparable to our own. Makes sense right?

Examining speech and style of writing, experts noticed that people are not only more attracted to, but are also more likely to stay in a relationship with someone who talks like them.Since communication  is a pivotal part of any relationship, it makes sense that people want a companion who speaks in a similar manner. Forget French and Italian, the real romance language is whatever the object of your affections speaks. I've listed 5 languages of love. You determine if you and your lover fall into any or all of these categories.

1. Verbal Lovers. Like the example above, some people just like to hear gestures of love such as "I love you" and "I appreciate everything that you do." For this type of person, you'll want to provide constant encouragement, never letting things go unsaid.

• Try verbalizing your appreciations in some way each day.
• Don't assume your partner knows what you're thinking and feeling - speak up!

2. Time Well Spent. One of the love languages has to do with spending quality time with your partner. This doesn't mean just casual conversation; it means the times where your partner is your main focus. If your partner enjoys quality time, here are some things to consider:

• Choose a certain time each day or week where you're completely dedicated to your partner. This means that you need to shut off the TV, put down the paper, and take some away from the kids.
• Think of activities you can do together to really connect.
• Make sure you have a good relationship with yourself; it's the only way you can truly connect with your partner.

3. The Gift Giver. Another love language is one where your partner may enjoy giving and receiving gifts. This isn't because they're greedy; it means they're visual people who enjoy seeing proof of your deepening relationship. If you're with this type of partner, try these tips:

• Even if you're a big saver, make the effort to spend at least a little money or make some homemade or handmade gifts.
• Leave loving cards and notes for them.
• Don't give gifts everyday, but give gifts that are meaningful.

4. The Chores. We can't forget the chores when it comes to a language of communication between partners. Since there are many things that need to get done around the house, it often causes problems when you try to figure out who's doing what. Keep these tips in mind:

• Everyone has different chores that they deem important.
• Figure out which ones your partner doesn't enjoy and do them.
• Chores involve thinking ahead, which your partner will certainly appreciate.

5. Physical Affection. The physical affection love language can get complicated. Expressing your love physically doesn't only mean lovemaking. It involves simple touches too. Each partner will usually have some kind of opinion when it comes to this language:

• Figure out which kinds of touches your partner enjoys, it may be a gentle rub of their shoulders or some cuddling while watching television.
• This is equally important, figure out which touches irritate your partner.
• Get to know your partner's moods so you know when to express physical affection.

The Combination

Your partner will most likely speak a certain combination of these love languages. As your relationship deepens, you'll get to know your partner better and better. It may even help to outright discuss the topic of love languages with your partner to better understand each other. This will strengthen the bond you have and open up other windows of possibilities where your relationship is concerned. Be open and honest with one another, love conquers all and if you haven't found this yet, be patient, one day when you least expect it, he/she will walk into your life unexpectedly and change your life as you know it.

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Romance and Why We Fall Out of Love?

Just about every day on a daily basis, I encounter those embodied in a kind of extramarital affair I describe as "I Fell Out of Love...and just love being in love." Can one fall out of love? You be they can. Does it hurt, oh hell yes it does...so what causes this, and what can you do so that it never happens to you? Well, first of all, never say never. I made this mistake... it's when you think that it cannot happen to you that it does. It's when you think it will happy to Sally or Claire, and then it happens to YOU! What happened? You lost communication somewhere in your relationship and love slipped away as quickly as it crept into your life. Lost the romance, the thrill is gone, the flame went out...The cheating or "offending" spouse has encountered someone where there are "sparks!"

Here are common phrases: (to the spouse) "I love you but am not 'in love' with you. The romance in our marriage is gone. I found someone who really loves me." (self thoughts) "I don't want to settle. I have a lot of love to give. He/she treats me like no one else. I feel special with the other person."

The "offended spouse" often responds with increased or new romantic gestures. They fall flat.

At the core of this kind of affair is a deeply engrained belief that "romance" is the savior and benchmark of a great marriage or intimate relationship.

Here are some reflections on romance:

1. "Romance" is advertised in our culture as the ultimate experience in an intimate relationship. Romance is idealized in movies and books as the ecstasy of being "in love." We can't get enough (hugely profitable grocery counter tabloids) of which "stars" are currently "in love" with whom. And, it often does not matter (really) if the are married. Oh gosh, to be like that, to experience that. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

2. Romantic movies are often called "romantic comedies" for a reason." Ever wonder why they are so funny or why they should be? Or, at the other end, romantic movies are tragedies (Romeo and Juliet). Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. When Harry Met Sally, The Notebook, and even Cinderella... Ever see a "real" romantic movie? People see romance in a variety of ways.

3. The search for romance whether through an affair or within our marriage often taint powerful personal needs. It has little to do with love and more to do with getting our personal needs met. Most of us have strong needs such as to be acknowledged, adored, cared for or perhaps cherished. Another powerful need is to feel "special. Romance becomes the vehicle through which these needs are supposedly met without needing to name those needs or talk about them. Don't get me wrong. Personal needs are all right. We all have them. Personal needs drive, often powerfully, what we go after. But, and this is a huge but, if we do not consciously name them and get them met once and for all they continue to drive us and we live perpetually in frustration, always wanting more.Once we move beyond the merry-go-round of personal need meeting we discover our personal passion, our purpose and reach down and touch the essence of real joy and peace. Are you getting the picture here? Life isn't perfect, and like a yoyo, we all have or ups and our downs. We just need to learn how to balance our romance and talk about things when they bother you.

4. Romance is it a teaser for  mating? True....Sometimes sex is the bottom line. The "chemistry" described in "romantic love" we are finding, is truly that - raw chemistry. Studies now show that those "in love" have a high concentration of specific dorphins (chemicals) in their bodies. These are the same chemicals found when animals are in "heat."I also believe that we run into a few people in our life-time where we experience this "chemistry." I have no idea why this happens. There appears to be some attraction, based on a huge number of factors that stir our juices - literally. Interesting. But, doesn't mean that I must jump into bed with this person. Maybe some animals do, however.

5. A person seeking romance is often someone looking romantic rush. Some call it a romance high, I call it a romantic rush. Why? They want to feel good. They expect they should feel good. They believe they should jump on something that feels good. They want the pill, the drug, the experience that will take away their pain, their emptiness, their loneliness and make them feel good. They what the  obsession. Obsessions are good and bad...they are healthy, and yet so very unhealthy. Romance your partner whether it be in bed or on the dining room table. Keep the spark alive, thats how to build romance...it's the erotic love that keep us from falling out of love...

 

10 Sure Signs that You're FALLING IN LOVE!!!

So many times we date people, or meet people and that night we lay in bed wondering to ourselves... "would he/she be a good fit for me?" Well, its often difficult to tell after one date, sometimes even two or three...but if you see this  person then stop seeing them and continue to think of them often and wonder how they are doing or where they are or who they are with...you might have some stronger feelings for them that you were not aware of. Could it be love we often wonder? As Whitney Houston once sang..."How will I know if he really loves me?"


Here are 10 Signs You’re Falling in Love, whether you like it or not!


1. You forget to eat.
Super telltale. Forgetting to eat means you’re not only distracted, but that you also want that person more than you want food, so you forget all about it.
2. You catch yourself smiling.
A little love in your system can surprise you so much, you can’t help but smile. Hey, that's great! Smiling is good for the body, mind and soul! It’s half because you feel so good, and half because you’re laughing at yourself  for feeling like a 16 yr old again, but..... oh ain't love grand?
3. You can’t look at the person.
Suddenly, they drive you mad and you want to jump on them and squeeze them tight! It is impossible to hold a decent conversation with the object of your affection, because you’re afraid if you look them in the eye, they’ll be able to tell you’re melting for them inside. A good trick: talk to their forehead. Yes you heard me...look at their forehead, not their beautiful eyes...all the while knowing that  inside this man/woman is driving you completely insane and you want to kiss them like there's no tomorrow!
4. You think about them when you’re getting dressed in the morning.
Don’t pretend you’ve never done it. You start analyzing whether he or she would like the blue shirt better, and putting a little more effort into your hair. No harm done.

5. You realize you miss them when they’re not around.
If you’re used to seeing the object of your affection at work or class and then one day they’re not there, you’ll feel like your whole day was wasted. Does your bed seem empty? Wouldn't it be better to wake up with someone and hold them through out the night than be alone?
6. You get jealous about odd things.
You find out they saw a movie last night and now you are enraged. Why didn’t they think to invite you? Who did they go with?? Your ears turn red as you try and mask your jealousy., or what if you read their FaceBook wall and saw that a man wrote something cute on their wall? Maybe this guy is just an old school friend from way back when,..still it makes your blood boil?
7. You’ve pictured what your children would look like.
Oops. Maybe your baby making years are long gone....ask yourself then if she/he would be a good influence on your children? Would your kids like this person and do they think that this particular man/woman would make their parent glow and would you do the same for your partners? ...this then leading to my next response.....
8. People say you’re glowing.
The feeling of being in love is physical, and like laughter, it can have healing, rejuvenating benefits. This is one of the reasons it’s okay to revel in your feelings, even if they’re for the wrong person — just don’t make any stupid mistakes.
9. You’ve suddenly felt a rush of something and you like it!
Male or female, you start getting these feeling that are uncontrollable, and undeniable, and yet you still question them...why? You are scared silly...love is like taking a giant leap! Be careful....but for God sakes be brave. You don't want to move forward a few years and realize you let the best thing that ever happened to you slip away into someone elses arms, follow your heart....Yes, these are definitely signs you’re falling.
10. You can’t concentrate on work.
Maybe even as you read this article, you’ll glance and realize that half an hour has gone by. That’s because you’re daydreaming. And you are in looo-oooove.Oh La-La! Life is good! Enjoy it with that special someone! Sometimes you only get one chance!

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